A Friday hearing over whether to grant Miss United States Lindsey Langston a restraining order against psychotic Florida MAGA Congressman Cory Mills did not end with a decision by a judge, per Politico. But it did feature an exciting new excuse from Mills about why he’s no longer a threat to Langston, one of at least two ex-girlfriends, the one who broke it off after he assaulted the other one: He no longer has the nude pics of sex videos because that phone was damaged.

“He’s powerful, he’s well-connected, he’s wealthy,” said Langston in her testimony, adding she wanted to “move on” and have a “normal life. I’m scared. I thought I could handle it by myself.”

“Please help me,” Langston told Judge Fred Koberlein, who did not rule due to an overrun of the 90 minute time slot for the hearing, saying he would try to schedule another one soon. Florida justice.

Maryland Democrats are doing their part in the fight against fascism and are moving to erase House Freedom Caucasian chair Andy Harris’s seat from their congressional map, Punchbowl reports.

“Prices are coming down. It’s not going to happen immediately. But people are actually feeling it out there… It’s coming down with Donald Trump. We see the numbers all over the place,” non-North Carolina Senate candidate Lara Trump told Frau Laura Ingraham on Tuesday night’s edition of the Fox News propaganda show. Lara naturally did not mention any specifics to her claim of prices coming down because, well, they aren’t. Maybe some in the MAGA cult feel like it’s happening as she mentioned, but feels aren’t numbers, so she left that part of her cheerleading out.

Officials in Franklin Township, New Jersey are telling locals that the nearby wildfire that’s been burning since Thursday isn’t like a natural, smoky-scented wildfire that you associate with tinder-dry outdoors but more like a toxic waste-hazardous superfund kind of fire, NJ.com reports.

Residents in the area of the former Pioneer electroplating facility/current superfund site have been advised to do their best to seal windows and doors to keep smoke out of their home, as well set their air conditioning units to recirculate air rather than pulling air from outside. Using HEPA-grade air filters and ventilating homes when the fire’s finally out can also help avoid the toxicity.

That part seems rather aspirational considering it’s now almost a week that this fire’s been burning.

Convicted felon President Trump in 2019 approved a top secret mission and ordered to SEAL Team Six to infiltrate North Korea to plant devices capable of intercepting obese dictator Kim Jong-Un’s communications during talks between the two slobs over Pyongyang’s nuclear ambitions.

The devices never got planted, per the New York Times’s in-depth reporting on the disastrous failure. Long story short, the SEALs were coming out of the water when they encountered a boat that they initially thought was a North Korean military patrol. The Naval commandos then immediately opened fire on the vessel, swiftly neutralizing the “threat” to the mission.

“The shore team swam to the boat to make sure that all of the North Koreans were dead. They found no guns or uniforms. Evidence suggested that the crew, which people briefed on the mission said numbered two or three people, had been civilians diving for shellfish. All were dead,” the Times writes. The SEALs then quickly bugged out before they could install the spying devices. They suffered no casualties and it’s unclear whether the North Korean military had ever figured out they had been responsible for the dead fishermen, though satellite photos later detected increased activity in the area by Kim’s forces. The mission was later subject to an inquiry during the Biden Administration and Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin briefed some mebers of Congress on the fuckup.

You know he wanted Turkey but other former federal criminal defendant Tom Barrack already has that spot, but hey the Saudis are pretty corrupt too… That editorializing should’ve been after the actual news part of this: Politico reports that convicted felon President Trump’s regime is considering offering idiot New York City Mayor Eric Adams the ambassadorship to Saudi Arabia in exchange for dropping his reelection bid, further underscoring the dumbassery of this caper.

That’s a pretty nice job in what’s no doubt a palatial, well-air conditioned embassy that Team Orange is just going to give away to flip maybe 7 percent of votes that might show up and vote for disgraced sex pest former Gov Andrew Cuomo, who trailed “communist” Zohran Mamdani by 19 percent in the last reliable poll conducted of New York City voters. Is this really that important to Trump and does Adams then immediately get fired in the likely event Mamdani wins anyway?

HASSETT: All of the job creation in the U.S. has come from native-born workers, whereas in the Biden admin, half was foreign-born… if the supply of new illegal immigrants goes to zero, as it has, then there won't be non native-born workers taking jobs from native-born workers. pic.twitter.com/6SWj61bELi

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) September 5, 2025

“The confused and badly failing Democrat Party did nothing about Jeffrey Epstein while he was alive except befriend him, socialize with him, travel to his Island, and take his money! They knew everything there was to know about Epstein, but now, years after his death, they, out of nowhere, are seeming to show such love and heartfelt concern for his victims. Does anybody really believe that? Where were they during his very public trials, and for all of those years before his death? The answer is, ‘nowhere to be found,'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday and lol, this is a doozy. “Befriend him” and “socialize with him” are already all-time greats from the fat bastard.

“The now dying (after the DOJ gave thousands of pages of documents in full compliance with a very comprehensive and exacting Subpoena from Congress!) Epstein case was only brought back to life by the Radical Left Democrats because they are doing so poorly, with the lowest poll numbers in the history of the Party (16 percent), while the Republicans are doing so well, among the highest approval numbers the Party has ever had! The Dems don’t care about the victims, as proven by the fact that they never did before,” Trump continued and this is almost certainly actually the first time he’s ever publicly mentioned the victims at all… Except in July maybe when he almost certainly falsely claimed that he had tossed Jeff out of Mar-a-Lago for poaching employees – at least one of whom, Virginia Roberts-Giuffre, was raped by Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, and Prince Andrew.

A State Department memo viewed by the Associated Press ahead of the upcoming UN General Assembly in New York proposes putting serious restrictions on the movements of delegations from Iran, Sudan, Zimbabwe and, in what the AP points out as noteworthy, Brazil – almost certainly due to convicted felon President Trump’s serious hard-on for the traditionally-allied South American country over the criminal cases against disgraced former President Jair Bolsonaro.

What also stuck out to the AP in the memo was an idea to ban the Iranians from shopping at wholesale stores like Costco and Sam’s Club without the express permission of the State Department – stores that are regular stops for the delegation because they can pick up large quantities of products not normally available in Iran because of sanctions and what not.

Now while no one in their right mind should think the Iranian regime are the good guys or even necessarily victims of the Trump Reich this is still pretty fucking stupid. Like does anyone realistically expect that the Iranian diplomats won’t just pick up the phone and find just a handful of ambivalent US citizen Shiites living in New York City who’d want to make a few thousand bucks by doing Costco runs for them? How’s the friggin State Department going to stop a U-Haul full of Tide Detergent and Kirkland Value peanut butter from making a delivery to the hotel with all the Iranians? Isn’t the fact that they WANT to shop at Costco more of an indictment of their system than forbidding them from doing so is “a boss move”? Let them fucking go there and get their small taste of the fruits of what’s supposed to be a free market capitalist society as an annual reminder that living in an Islamic theocracy constantly waging a cunty little proxy war with Israel and the Saudis actually sucks.

In a footnote in an evidentiary filing in her bid to get courts to nix convicted felon President Trump’s attempt at firing her, Fed Board of Governors member Lisa Cook’s lawyers on Thursday wasted no time pointing to ProPublica reporting on how at least three of the fat fuck’s cabinet members are guilty of the same misconduct. “Indeed, on the same day that the Government filed its Supplemental opposition calling Governor Cook’s pretext argument ‘baseless,’ public reporting indicated that at least three officials in President Trump’s cabinet have listed more than one primary residence on their loan papers. See ‘Trump Is Accusing Foes With Multiple Mortgages of Fraud. Records Show 3 of His Cabinet Members Have Them,’ ProPublica (Sept 4, 2025). Apparently, these same ‘facial contradictions’ in cabinet officials he can fire at-will were not enough for him to do so, but the President claims they are sufficient to support a firing when real, adequate ’cause’ is required.”

Now this was 20 minutes before the jobs report was officially released that obese Florida MAGA Congressman Randy Fine was telling CNN’s Kate Bolduan that “the numbers always tend to benefit the left” which sure as hell sounds like he had the heads-up like Larry Kudlow did on Thursday.

US non-farm payrolls rose by 22,000, well short of 75,000 expected according to the Dow Jones consensus estimate in August while the unemployment rate edged up to 4.3 percent, CNBC reports.

“President Trump’s attempt to rebrand the One Big, Beautiful Bill Act can’t mask a grim reality: His economic approval is collapsing, and the data underneath is only getting worse,” writes Axios in the lede to a Friday morning article with a buzzy, rizzy headline of “Trump’s economic doom loop.”

“Why it matters: Trump is in danger of getting trapped in the same ‘vibecession’ dynamic that doomed President Biden – only this time, the structural signals are flashing red and Trump’s signature legislation is toxic,” says the first bullet point of the story. All the vibecession indicators are off the charts here people. If Axios says it then the vibecession is inevitable. There’s no escaping it.

“Arizona State Senator Jake Hoffman announces the filing of a formal ethics complaint against Senator Analise Ortiz following her repeated attempts to undermine federal immigration enforcement operations in Arizona. ‘Senator Ortiz’s actions were not only reckless – they were dangerous,’ said Senator Hoffman. ‘By publicly posting alerts about federal law enforcement activity, she actively tipped off individuals being pursued by ICE, jeopardizing the safety of officers and law-abiding citizens. The complaint details how Senator Ortiz used her official platform to broadcast real-time alerts about ICE activity, urging people to evade lawful enforcement operations. When called out, she doubled down with inflammatory language, instead of showing accountability for endangering lives,” says a press release from rapey-looking fake Trump 2020 elector Republican state Senator Jake Hoffman, who still faces multiple felony charges in his failed coup attempt caper.

Two armed Venezuelan F-16 fighter jets flew over the USS Jason Dunham in the Carribbean on Thursday, CBS News reports citing Defense Department officials who called the action a “show of force,” in response to the destruction of a random boat leaving Venezuela this week.

Despite publicly denying on Wednesday that he would drop out of his doomed reelection bid and take a job with convicted felon President Trump’s regime, sources tell the New York Times that Mayor Eric Adams “is seriously considering job opportunities” that would necessitate him throwing in the towel on his campaign and help get disgraced former Gov Andrew Cuomo elected – and that Adams this week met with dipshit Trump minion Steve Witkoff to hear the reich’s pitch.

The other candidate, Curtis Sliwa, whose exit theoretically might accrete more support to Cuomo than Adams was asked Thursday morning if he was open to any similar offer by moronic right wing 770 WABC host Sid Rosenberg. “Yeah, if somebody puts a bullet in the back of my head, and I’m in a casket, and you’re giving me the greatest eulogy of all time,” said Sliwa, also a host on the station.

“Whoever, directly or indirectly, promises any employment, position, compensation, contract, appointment, or other benefit, provided for or made possible in whole or in part by any Act of Congress, or any special consideration in obtaining any such benefit, to any person as consideration, favor, or reward for any political activity or for the support of or opposition to any candidate or any political party in connection with any general or special election to any political office, or in connection with any primary election or political convention or caucus held to select candidates for any political office, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both,” says 18 USC § 600 – Promise of employment or other benefit for political activity, lol.

Fox Business News cocaine enthusiast Larry Kudlow on Thursday told viewers “don’t hang your hat on tomorrow’s jobs report. President Trump’s economy is doing better than you think,” as if this wasn’t the whole point of firing the chief of the BLS and replacing her with that Nazi incel.

Epstein survivor Marijke Chartouni on Thursday was boarding a flight from DC to Chicago when she texted Substacker Tara Palmeri to tell MAGA Wyoming Congresswoman Harriet “I am not George Santos” Hageman was on the same flight. “A politician I recognize just gave me a long look,” wrote Chartouni to Palmeri, adding that she was going to approach Hageman to ask her to vote yes on the bill to compel the release of all the files on convicted felon President Trump’s dead friend.

“This was Chartouni’s moment to make history. To make her plea in person. Maybe Hageman missed their rally on the lawn. Maybe she needed to see that Epstein’s victims are real human beings – not a ‘Democratic hoax,’ as Trump called them,” Palmeri, an advocate for the survivors, writes.

“I did it. She said yes. I got all teary,” Chartouni texted. “When I called her, she was still crying. She believed she had convinced a Republican — one of the many under pressure from Trump’s team, who warned members that voting for Massie’s bill would be seen as ‘a very hostile act to the administration’ – to do the right thing,” Palmeri writes… And you already know what happened next.

“Hageman asked her name, where she lived, reassured her it was okay to be upset, and then crucially told her she had ‘voted for the bill.’ But she didn’t say which one.” And yeah this is EXACTLY why Jesus Dork set up that non-binding resolution affirming support for the House Oversight Committee’s investigation into the Epstein files. So Republicans can say that they voted yes.

Chartouni had been asking her to support the Massie-Khanna discharge petition to compel the full release, which Hageman does not support. “It was hard to break this to Chartouni. She had just been spun by a politician. That’s something I’m used to as a journalist – but she’s not. And it felt deeply unfair. I suggested she go back and clarify, but she told me: ‘I think she’s hiding,'” Palmeri continued.