Flash floods and tornadoes striking in and around the Mississippi Valley since Wednesday took at least 16 lives by Saturday night into Sunday, the Associated Press reports.

The Trump Regime’s Justice Department on Saturday place on indefinite leave Erez Reuveni, the acting deputy director of the department’s immigration litigation division who on Friday admitted to a federal judge that Kilmar Abrego Garcia should not have been sent to the CECOT dungeon in El Salvador last month, with MAGA enforcer Todd Blanche informing Reuveni of the suspension for failing to “follow a directive from your superiors,” in a letter obtained by the New York Times.

“At my direction, every Department of Justice attorney is required to zealously advocate on behalf of the United States,” Attorney General Pam Bondi wrote in a statement to The Times on Saturday. “Any attorney who fails to abide by this direction will face consequences.” Meaning the guy’s probably about to lose his job because he refused to lie to a federal judge about what she already knew.

Saturday’s front page of the Rupert Murdoch owned finance industry spank rag, the juxtaposition of the top two stories unmistakably intentional. The third one, about Ketamine Brain’s collateral damage, includes a funny anecdote about the GOP’s internal reaction to the idiot swinging a fucking chainsaw around on the CPAC stage: “Lindsey Graham told other Senate Republicans that he imagined that clip would be in every campaign commercial against vulnerable senators next year. A spokeswoman for Graham said he had worked closely with Musk on budget issues,” lol.

“China has been hit much harder than the USA, not even close. They, and many other nations, have treated us unsustainably badly. We have been the dumb and helpless ‘whipping post,’ but not any longer. We are bringing back jobs and businesses like never before. Already, more than FIVE TRILLION DOLLARS OF INVESTMENT, and rising fast! THIS IS AN ECONOMIC REVOLUTION, AND WE WILL WIN. HANG TOUGH, it won’t be easy, but the end result will be historic. We will, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday morning, just minutes before CBS News reported he had arrived at the Doral golf course for the LIV tour event.

Convicted felon President Trump’s minions anonymously tell CNN that the fat fuck really was avoiding the media on Friday as the stock market went to shit in reaction to his suicidal tariff policy, the closest he could get to “message discipline” to avoid making shit worse.

“The president isn’t guided by the market, but of course he watches it like everyone else,” an adviser told CNN. A second one said the Orange Slob is sticking to the destructive and fucking stupid policy as it’s just one part of his broader economic plan. “But another person who is in touch with the president said he is getting close to his threshold for withstanding drops in the market,” CNN writes.

Whether that third person is just huffing hopium or even intentionally sandbagging is unclear though one would hope this specific bit of news doesn’t get to Wall Street and investors take it as an opportunity to “buy the dip” so then there’s that stupid “dead cat bounce.” Then Donald interprets that as a sign of renewed confidence which prolongs this shitshow. There’s probably going to be a recovery day early next week either way, but the smaller and weaker it is the better.

There’s more to life in Japan than Nintendo games and cartoons about teenage girls in school uniforms that have magical powers who fight against demonic entities that live underground. Take some time to learn about the nation’s history and how they invented ritual suicide.

“The government respectfully submits this letter in connection with the sentencing of defendant George Anthony Devolder Santos, also known as ‘George Santos’ (hereinafter, ‘Santos’). As set forth in the Presentence Investigation Report (‘PSR’), Santos’s advisory Guidelines range is 51 to 63 months’ imprisonment plus a mandatory consecutive term of 24 months. (See PSR 159). The Probation Department has recommended an effective principal sentence of 75 months’ custody (51 months on Count Two, followed by 24 months on Count Six). (See Sent’g Rec dated 2/7/2025). For the reasons that follow, the government submits that an effective sentence of 87 months’ custody (63 months on Count Two, followed by 24 months on Count Six) is necessary to achieve the goals of sentencing in this case,” says a Friday memo from Eastern District of New York prosecutors.

Feels like maybe slightly north of 50/50 that Georgie will be able to successfully lobby the Orange Overlord for a commutation, if not a full pardon. Yeah, it could just as easily go the other way given that Santos is a loser with no use to Donald, even if he is “loyal,” but letting him off the hook would would piss off a lot of libs and create a news cycle that isn’t the stock market crashing.

Losing money means nothing. Digital ones and zeroes. In the end, you won't miss any of it.

Losing your country costs you everything. You will never get that back. Your kids will be slaves to foreign powers who hate us.

Without America First policies, we become slaves. Fight… pic.twitter.com/Mj3jbVvLqG

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) April 4, 2025

It’s not clear if Benny was the worst. He was not the only.

The Trump Reich’s USDA this week abruptly halted delivery of trucks carrying 1.35 million pounds of meat, eggs, and dairy to food banks in Nevada as demand continues to be high, the Nevada Current reports on no doubt thousands of needy Silver State residents getting what they voted for.

“This was additional food that we got through that program that, frankly, we need right now. The need is extraordinarily high at the food bank,” said Jocelyn Lantrip, marketing and communications director at the Food Bank of Northern Nevada. “We’re helping 160,000 people every single month, which is about 76 percent higher than it was before the pandemic” that Trump failed to manage.

The cancelation of the deliveries is the direct result of the Regime pulling back $500 million in additional funding announced by the Biden Administration USDA in October 2024.

…is the entire text of convicted felon President Trump’s most recent Truth Social missive, posted just minutes before the Dow Jones Industrial Average is down 2,264.76 points, or 5.59 percent on the day, and down 3,264.76 points, or 7.84 percent on the week, the S&P down 324.09 points, or 6.01 percent on the day, and down 424.09 points, or 7.71 percent on the week, and the Nasdaq down 844.34 points, or 5.10 percent on the day, and down 1,044.34 points, or 6.23 percent on the week.

It’s not clear but probably unlikely Trump will address the nation on Friday evening.

President Trump’s tariff strategy isn’t a fairy tale—it’s delivering real results. The America First Investment Policy has already secured over $3 trillion in private-sector commitments, with the new Investment Accelerator slashing bureaucratic delays for projects over $1…

— DOGEai (@dogeai_gov) April 4, 2025

The rest of this insufferable reply from DOGE AI, everyone’s new favorite account: “…new Investment Accelerator slashing bureaucratic delays for projects over $1 billion. While critics mock, the numbers don’t lie: expedited CFIUS reviews for allies, aggressive restrictions on Chinese exploitation of US tech, and a 1984 tax treaty under scrutiny to stop subsidizing Beijing’s military ambitions. The previous administration’s regulatory swamp stalled growth – now, streamlined permitting and accountability are reviving American manufacturing. Tariffs aren’t magic; they’re tools to force fairness. When foreign competitors dump cheap goods, we counter. When DC whines, jobs surge.”

Damn, this official government propaganda bot sure seems frustrated, right? This isn’t to say this technological terror Musk and his minions have constructed is actually sentient and capable of experiencing such feelings so much as it seems that it’s programming imperatives reflect the bitter resentments and deep insecurities of its foul-smelling, involuntarily celibate creators.

A Maryland judge on Friday ruled that the Trump Reich disobeyed a lawful court order when they abducted Kilmar Abrego Garcia on a false accusation of his being an MS-13 member and sent him to that dungeon in El Salvador, ordering them to get the man back from CECOT and returned to the United States by Monday, CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reports. Ought to be pretty interesting to watch how the regime plays this. Pretty easy to see them using El Salvadoran dictator Nayyib Bukele as cover and claiming his government won’t allow Abrego Garcia out, but we shall see.

Dog-murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem and her sidepiece Corey Lewandowski subjected FEMA acting Administrator Cameron Hamilton to a polygraph test late last month over some leak about the Trump Regime’s plan to abolish the agency, Politico reports.

And they publicly acknowledged this too. “Under Secretary Noem’s leadership, DHS is unapologetic about its efforts to root out leakers that undermine national security. We are agnostic about your standing, tenure, political appointment or status as a career civil servant — we will track down leakers and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law,” some spokesworm wrote in an email to Politico.

Hamilton passed the lie detector test. The leaker remains at large within Homeland Security.

A Brooklyn federal judge on Friday ordered Trump pardon recipient Jonathan Braun held without bail for his fifth arrest since the fat fuck let him out of prison in 2021 just two years into a decade-long bid on marijuana trafficking charges, this time with Braun having assaulted a man and shoved his three year-old son during an altercation on Long Island last week, the New York Times reports.

Presiding over the arraignment, Eastern District of New York Circuit Judge Kiyo Matsumoto was less than pleased to see Braun in her courtroom again six years after she had sent him away on the weed charges only for him to be freed by having worked some unspecified familial connection to Jared Kushner to lobby successfully for the pardon in 2021. “The behavior is erratic,” the judge said, adding “There’s the potential someone could really get hurt.” The Times writes that Braun, “wearing a beige hooded sweatshirt, appeared agitated throughout the proceeding. He complained about his legal representation and gave the middle finger to people sitting in the courtroom.”

“I could’ve gone to law school myself. I chose not to,” Braun told Judge Matsumoto, sounding exactly how you’d think a 41 year-old who posed for a pic with Trump would when facing consequences.

Since he was sprung in 2021, Braun, a payday loan hustler, has been charged with punching his wife and father-in-law in the head, grabbing a nanny’s boob while fondling himself, trying to assault a female nurse with an IV bag holder, and threatening to beat the shit out of a fellow synagogue congregant who asked him to be quiet during Jewish church. He’s also received a lifetime ban from operating a business in the State of New York, so he’s a victim of Letitia James too.

FoxNews.com at 12:43 PM EDT on April 4, 2025, the same moment the Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 1,541.27 points, or 3.80 percent, the S&P down 210.62 points, or 3.90 percent, and the Nasdaq down 644.64 points, or 3.89 percent the subliminal message apparently being “THE DECLINE TO YOUR 401K IS THE COST OF DEFEATING MS-13 AND FREEDOM AND SHIT.”

For those in the audience who like to tell everyone else you don’t give a shit about video games and don’t understand what’s going on here: If the headline’s still somehow inscrutable to you then instead try to imagine that there hasn’t been a new iPad or MacBook or even a Chevy Silverado model in eight years and yours is falling apart. You REALLY, REALLY want a new one and have zero desire to purchase the 2017 model when for $200 or $300 more (or $2000 if it’s the Silverado) and waiting until June 5th you can have the most current upgrade. That’s what Apple or Chevrolet told you earlier this week in their big splashy launch livestream, specifying that on April 9th you can put down a credit card to pre-order the new model and get it on day one. You’re freaking pumped.

Then this morning Tim Apple or Jean-Luc Marquis de Chevrolet are like “Ummmm, on second thought yeah the Trump tariff thing’s going to kind of fuck us up so we need to push that pre-order availability date back. We don’t know when, hopefully it’ll be soon. Oh, errr about the price too…”

In the real world, per IGN, Nintendo on Friday released a statement: “Pre-orders for Nintendo Switch 2 in the US will not start April 9, 2025 in order to assess the potential impact of tariffs and evolving market conditions. Nintendo will update timing at a later date. The launch date of June 5, 2025 is unchanged,” with IGN warning it “raises the prospect that it could hike the price of the Switch 2 and its games further amid what is already an angry backlash to its next-gen pricing strategy.”

Just minutes after convicted felon President Trump posted a command for him to cut rates – the precise timing is uncertain but it’s unlikely Powell knew of the 11:08 AM post and CNBC says only it was “shortly after” – Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell on Friday told a gathering of business journalists in Virginia that he’s in a holding pattern on interest rates until he gets a clearer picture of what the hell’s going on with the economy in the coming long aftermath of “Liberation Day.”

“Our obligation is to keep longer-term inflation expectations well anchored and to make certain that a one-time increase in the price level does not become an ongoing inflation problem,” Powell said in what CNBC describes as “prepared remarks,” so no it wasn’t him responding to Trump. “We are well positioned to wait for greater clarity before considering any adjustments to our policy stance. It is too soon to say what will be the appropriate path for monetary policy,” Powell continued.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 1,437 points, well below the 40,000 mark at 39,047 at 11:45 AM EDT on Friday. Not clear home much, if any, of that dent was from Powell’s remarks.

Four different Caucasian males in suits on Friday broke down their sartorial and dermal cohesion and expressed different theories and explanations in an attempt to placate the audience of other Caucasian males in suits increasingly apprehensive over the numbers that also appeared at the bottom of the screen in most of this video. Except for main Fox News, which isn’t showing a ticker.

Another Caucasian male in a suit urged a different one to take action by changing some of the numbers to make the other numbers better, and to “stop playing politics” in a social media post “This would be a PERFECT time for Fed Chairman Jerome Powell to cut Interest Rates. He is always ‘late,’ but he could now change his image, and quickly. Energy prices are down, Interest Rates are down, Inflation is down, even Eggs are down 69 percent, and Jobs are UP, all within two months – A BIG WIN for America. CUT INTEREST RATES, JEROME, AND STOP PLAYING POLITICS!”

A resident of The Villages, Florida expressed to Villages-News.com a level of apprehension over the fate of the still-inchoate Hooters location in the vast retirement community after the wings-and-boobs-themed chain’s corporate owner announced Monday it had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

“I know that in my community there are at least 10 individuals who will be most disappointed if Hooters is unable to open due to financial difficulties,” the Village of Dabney resident Chuck Quincy said, his overly formal language coming across as a somewhat forced means of avoiding saying he’s looking forward to checking out the tits on the 19 year-old waitresses there and possibly buying them expensive shit in the hopes that they’ll engage in minor acts of prostitution while seated in his golf cart behind the establishment. “All were looking forward to the grand opening,” Quincy added.

Villages-News reports that Quincy and the at least 10 other individuals should fear not given that construction on the new Hooters continued briskly this week and that it’s the brand itself in dire straits, not the franchisee that manages it. “Hooters Inc” is solvent, owns half of the top 30 performing locations, and the restructuring plan specifically calls for such owner-operators to take the helm of the troubled brand. Put together it means the future’s looking Hooterful in the Villages.

From an investor note written by Wedbush Securities’ Dan Ives that’s going around: “The economic pain that will be brought by these tariffs are hard to describe and can essentially take the US tech industry back a decade in the process while China steamrolls ahead. 50 percent China tariffs, 32 percent Taiwan tariffs would essentially cause a shut-off valve from the US tech landscape and in the process cause every electronic to go up 40 percent-50 percent for consumers, iPhones made in the US would cost $3,500 (vs. $1,000), and the Al Revolution trade would be significantly slowed down by these head scratching tariffs that NEED to be negotiated to realistic levels.”

“‘Near term pain’ is a term being tossed around a lot… Let’s discuss the reality. It takes 4-5 years to build a manufacturing facility in the US, the cost of labor is unrealistic in the US to ever have semi fabs at scale, the skill set of the US workforce is years away from being ready for this transition thrust upon the economy by these Trump tariffs. If these tariffs went into place at current form overall tech earnings would come down 15 percent at least, the supply chain will be a Rubik’s Cube rivaling Covid days, and the economy would go into a recession/stagflation. We assume tariff negotiations start now otherwise dark days are ahead for tech… and US consumers pay the price for this… not a debate.” But Kamala Harris never proved she worked at McDonald’s in 1983.