“The Enriched Uranium (Nuclear Dust!) will either be immediately turned over to the United States to be brought home and destroyed or, preferably, in conjunction and coordination with the Islamic Republic of Iran, destroyed in place or, at another acceptable location, with the Atomic Energy Commission, or its equivalent, being witness to this process and event,” posted demented grandpa on Monday after a weekend of various unfalsifiable claims about how he’ll unfuck this.

Convicted felon President Trump will this week undergo the fourth medical exam of his second already failed term, doing in under 17 months what Barack Obama and George W Bush did once a year during their terms, USA Today reports on the steadily worsening health of the old shitbag.

Trump repeatedly fell asleep on stage during the Monday ceremony at Arlington Cemetery.

James Talarico says he is "worried" about the election being rigged this fall and calls voting a "sacred, God-given right"

"Texas is one of the hardest places to vote in the country." pic.twitter.com/6I7p5IflUs

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) May 25, 2026

“One of the worst deals ever made by our Country was the Iran Nuclear Deal, put forth and signed into existence by Barack Hussein Obama and the rank amateurs of the Obama Administration. It was a direct path to Iran developing a Nuclear Weapon. Not so with the transaction currently being negotiated with Iran by the Trump Administration – THE EXACT OPPOSITE, in fact! The negotiations are proceeding in an orderly and constructive manner, and I have informed my representatives not to rush into a deal in that time is on our side. The Blockade will remain in full force and effect until an agreement is reached, certified, and signed. Both sides must take their time and get it right.”

“There can be no mistakes! Our relationship with Iran is becoming a much more professional and productive one. They must understand, however, that they cannot develop or procure a Nuclear Weapon or Bomb. I would like to thank, thus far, all of the countries of the Middle East for their support and cooperation, which will be further enhanced and strengthened by their joining the Nations of the historic Abraham Accords and, who knows, perhaps the Islamic Republic of Iran would like to join, as well!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday.

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu on Saturday told convicted felon President Trump that Israel remains free to do whatever they want in Lebanon irrespective of Trump’s surrender to Iran, whose scope does not include the IDF vs Hezbollah, Reuters reports, citing multiple sources.

“In last night’s conversation with President ‌Trump, the Prime Minister ⁠emphasized that Israel will maintain freedom of action against threats in all arenas, including Lebanon, and President Trump reiterated and supported ⁠this principle,” an Israeli source said, sounding almost like a press release.

Technically it’s Mission: Impossible but two colons in the same sentence would look stupid in the headline. This movie’s a goddamned classic that holds up well because Jon Voight really is a fucking traitor who sold out to the greediest and most sinister of anti-American forces.

SPOILER ALERT: If you’re a fan of Amazon Prime’s The Boys and for whatever reason have yet to see this week’s series finale then, well, definitely don’t click the “Read more” button below…

The Trump Regime’s new “White House app,” billed on the Google Play store as keeping “you connected to President Donald J Trump and his administration like never before. Receive real-time breaking news alerts straight from the White House on key developments, executive actions, and national priorities. Stay up to date with the latest policy initiatives and topics shaping America’s future – from border security and economic growth to energy independence and making America great again,” is now required downloading for all federal employee work phones.

Or maybe not so much “required” as forced whether a federal worker likes it or not, according to a policy memo obtained by Government Executive saying that automatic downloads will begin next week on the phones of at least one unspecified federal agency’s workers. Sur-fucking-prise, it’s shovelware that cybersecurity researchers have warned is filled with all sorts of holes, such as its incorporation of a Russian software kit called Elfsight that one anonymous government cybersecurity researcher told NOTUS last week they had found that the code made public the personal information of some White House staffers through the app. The fucking White House even admitted this, saying “Elfsight went through a full security review by White House IT and was approved for use. This is a vulnerability on Elfsight’s side – and they have been informed of it.”

“Any app that is installed on government-issued devices can potentially create backdoor access to government networks behind the firewall,” said former federal IT executive Sonny Hashmi, almost certainly watering down the gravity of the move by keeping the statement simple.

“A button gives the option to ‘text President Trump,’ which, when clicked, opens a text message to a pre-selected number with the default text ‘Greatest President Ever!’ Sending the text signs the user up for alerts, which individuals can also do through the app itself,” GovExec writes in the article, blithely letting the app’s “feature” speak for itself to its public service employee readership.

That Barack Obama and that infamous “57 states” gaffe. Really haunted him for years. Think he meant to say “50 stops across seven states” or something like that in a campaign context. Probably was really tired at the time since yelling into a microphone in front of thousands of people multiple times a day, nearly every day, for months on end takes a lot of physical and mental stamina.

Anyway the above is what his successor, President Donald Trump, is up to online this morning.

A magnitude 6.0 earthquake struck the Big Island of Hawaii late Friday, a temblor that the USGS reports “occurred due to oblique reverse faulting at a depth of 22 km (14 miles). Large magnitude earthquakes in Hawaii that occur at this depth are typically caused by lithospheric flexure due to the weight of the Hawaiian Islands pressing down on the underlying oceanic plate. Given the depth, location and the observed typical mainshock-aftershock behavior, the May 23 event is not directly related to magmatic processes.” Meaning that it’s unlikely to be a precursor to an eruption.

That however doesn’t mean there hasn’t been any impact, though no reports of injuries have surfaced thus far, per ABC News who report structure damage along with numerous rockslides blocking roads. An estimated 500 Hawaiian Electric Company customers are currently without power, with reports of down utility lines and power outages in the South Kona area.

Facing decreasing popularity at home because of all the stupid shit he did, convicted felon President Trump is looking to change the narrative as well as avoid going to his son’s wedding by launching a new attack on Iran, Axios reports, writing that Donald “has raised the possibility of a final ‘decisive’ major military operation, after which he could declare victory and end the war.”

“While I very much wanted to be with my son, Don Jr, and the newest member of the Trump Family, his soon to be wife, Bettina, circumstances pertaining to Government, and my love for the United States of America, do not allow me to do so. I feel it is important for me to remain in Washington, DC, at the White House during this important period of time. Congratulations to Don and Bettina!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, making his fatherly non-attendance official.

On social media no less… Don Jr’s mom will also be remaining in the United States, unable to attend the Bahamas wedding as she is indisposed at the Bedminster Country Club in New Jersey.

Pro-Russian Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard tells Fox News she’s resigning from her post “to support her husband through his battle with ‘an extremely rare form of bone cancer,'” according to the propaganda network. It’s not clear how serious the cancer afflicting Tulsi’s husband Abe – a Caucasian-Hawaiian hipster about eight years her junior who has never served in government or the military – actually is or whether it’s simply a convenient excuse for Tulsi to quit.

Hopefully for Abe’s sake the latter and it is mild/treatable. Because that would fucking suck to have a deranged sociopath like his wife around more often while he suffers horribly.

Good God this is disgusting, especially the slobbery way in which he says he doesn’t know all the details of convicted felon President Trump’s “settlement” with the IRS before defending it anyway.

Trump himself justified it proudly on Truth Social just a few minutes ago, writing “I gave up a lot of money in allowing the just announced Anti-Weaponization Fund to go forward. I could have settled my case, including the illegal release of my Tax Returns and the equally illegal BREAK IN of Mar-a-Lago, for an absolute fortune. Instead, I am helping others, who were so badly abused by an evil, corrupt, and weaponized Biden Administration, receive, at long last, JUSTICE!” Such magnanamy.

“People don’t remember that Thom Tillis, the weak and ineffective Senator from the Great State of North Carolina, a State I won, including primaries, 6 consecutive times, didn’t have the courage to fight it out in the Senate, remain in place, and run again for office, a thing he desperately wanted to do. I called him a ‘Nitpicker,’ always fighting against the Republican Party, and ME, mostly on things that didn’t matter. When I told him that I would not, under any circumstances, endorse him for another run, too much work and drama (he couldn’t have won, anyway!), he immediately quit the race and publicly announced that he was going to ‘retire.’ I said, ‘Wow, great news, that was easy!’ The media said how brave he was to take me on, but he wasn’t brave, he was just the opposite – HE WAS A QUITTER! Now he can have all the fun he wants for a few months, with some of his RINO friends, screwing the Republican Party. In the end it will only get bigger, and better, and stronger, than ever before!!!” posted the Orange Lord of Castle Otranto on Friday.

“Stephen Colbert’s firing from CBS was the ‘Beginning of the End’ for untalented, nasty, highly overpaid, not funny, and very poorly rated Late Night Television Hosts. Others, of even less talent, to soon follow. May they all Rest in Peace!” the fat fuck later added in a separate post.

“On 03 January 2026, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced that the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) recruitment campaign launched in 2025 has brought in an additional 12,000 ICE officers and agents. DHS has been advertising the recruitment efforts across several official US government social media accounts, and while the content is generally understood to be patriotic and motivated by the desire to protect Americans, some of the messaging has drawn criticism for mirroring popular white supremacist rhetoric and imagery. Regardless of the mission of DHS and the controversy surrounding the intent of the messaging, the information outlined below indicates that some violent extremist groups and individuals are interpreting the messaging as reflective of white supremacist imagery and rhetoric. The CIAC urges safety and security officials to practice increased situational awareness surrounding immigration events and ICE operations in the state and maintain awareness of this potential threat environment, including: ▪ (U//FOUO) The potential for white supremacist violent extremists to attempt to join or infiltrate ICE and engage in bias motivated violence, endangering the public, other ICE personnel, and local law enforcement.”

“▪ (U//FOUO) The potential for white supremacist violent extremists to misinterpret DHS messaging as a permissive environment to engage in vigilante action and/or violence against individuals perceived to be immigrants. ▪ (U//FOUO) The potential for anti-ICE protestors and anti-fascist violent extremist groups to misinterpret DHS messaging and perceive all ICE personnel, and by extension law enforcement and government officials, as supportive of or complicit in white supremacy, therefore creating perceived justification for violence targeting those individuals,” says a March memo from the Colorado Department of Public Safety’s Information Analysis .

It’s 11 pages long and operates under the assumption it’s a bug not, a feature.

Never in 250 years has America witnessed a sitting president shield himself and his family from tax scrutiny, after leveraging policies that benefit his own businesses and personal portfolios, as Donald J. Trump has done. https://t.co/B6axJYDxIC

— Jim VandeHei (@JimVandeHei) May 22, 2026

Axios on Friday printed a behind the curtains look at the unconventional income streams of a billionaire real estate developer whose net worth has skyrocketed over the last two years, marveling at how the tycoon “leverages policies that benefit his own businesses and personal portfolios.”

Be smart: Axios is really plugged-in to the top tiers of the business and tech elite.

A Memphis man tells CBS News that he and an associate were duct-taped and thrown in a “dungeon” by Epstein Island’s new owners after landing on the cursed patch last month. Benjamin Owen, 44, doesn’t believe he and fellow anti-sex-trafficking activist Ryan Dalton were “supposed to leave that island alive.” In reality the two were trespassing and were handed over to US Virgin Islands Police by staff of an LLC owned by the island’s new proprietor, billionaire Stephen Deckoff, who is supposedly developing the notoriously cursed place into a luxury resort.

Following a meeting with his conference Auditioning Attorney General Todd Blanche that did not go well, Senate Majority Leader John Thune of Thursday called time out for the Senate, announcing the chamber will not be returning to work until next month, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, separately adding that an afternoon White House meeting between Hill GOP leaders and convicted felon President Trump has been canceled. So yeah, everything’s going great for the bad guys.

Then House Majority Whip Tom Emmer put out a notice saying “Members are advised that, upon completion of today’s scheduled legislative business, votes are no longer expected in the House on Friday, May 22nd. Last votes for the week will take place at approximately 4:30 pm. This is a change from the previously announced schedule,” similarly bitching out over the slush fund uproar.