The word “narrative” was actually NOTUS‘s in their Monday article examining the mostly correct and fair assessment of convicted felon President Trump’s ownership of the House GOP majority versus Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s compliance. It was “canard” an anonymous White House official used to respond to technically “independent” California Republican Congressman Kevin Kiley’s accurate call for Congress to reclaim its “constitutional authority” from the Orange God Emperor.

“What the media means when they say this stuff is they mean that upholding your constitutional authority is opposing the administration. That’s just not what it is,” the White House official said, adding “And most Republicans, in fact 99.99 percent of Republicans, see through that and vote where their long-standing policy positions are.” And yeah if that were true then Congressional Republicans would have weeks ago voted for authorizing and funding a fucking ballroom with a stupid “drone port” on top for the White House. Thus making the “canard”/”narrative” closer to reality than this shitbag wants to think out loud and anonymously so for reasons unclear.

“It is a total shirking of responsibilities to the White House,” a House Republican said, propagating the canard. “Everything has to be preordained and pre-blessed, and there’s very little that we’re able to have our own will on. We should be empowered to pass our own priorities, not just follow what the mandate of the day is.” Others acknowledged that a two-vote margin and the fact that the president is the one to sign bills passed short of a veto-proof majority (when the hell was the last time that happened?) would naturally make any president paramount over the speaker.

“Both sides, Israel and Iran, are looking to do an immediate CEASEFIRE! Final negotiations on ‘Peace’ are proceeding, subject to ignorance or stupidity getting in its way. The Blockade will remain in place, and in full force and effect, until a ‘Final Deal’ is reached. Things should move quickly. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” posted convicted felon President Trump early Monday.

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu’s forces attacked Iran on Sunday even after convicted felon President Trump supposedly called “Bibi” to order him to hold off, the IDF annnounced.

Rather than getting a call from convicted felon President Trump ordering him not to retaliate against Iran for a wave of missile attacks, Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday presumably got the message via an article by Axios reporter Barak Ravid that convicted felon President Trump will be calling him shortly to order him not to retaliate against Iran for a wave of missile attacks.

“I am going to call Bibi right now and tell him not to retaliate. Each of them had their fun. Israel had its strike, and Iran had its strike. We don’t need another one,” Trump told Ravid point blank of his veto of Israel’s prerogative of defending itself against a belligerent enemy, adding “The Iranian strikes didn’t hurt anybody. Hopefully Israel is not going to retaliate. If Bibi strikes them back, it’s just gonna keep going like the last 47 years – or the last 3,000 years,” and lol what a fucking pussy.

The World is on fire and spiraling out of control, we have no leadership, no one running the Country, we have a non-existent President in Donald Trump, and a completely absent Vice President, JD Vance, who is too busy shitposting on Twitter. No one is in charge and it’s not even clear who is more confused: Trump or Vance. Neither has any idea what is even going on. When Biden was President, Iran was in total check. They were starved for cash, fully contained, and desperate to make a deal to meet their basic day-to-day needs to keep their population from revolting.

Trump flooded them with Chinese weapons and, ever since, they’ve been exporting terror all over, and unraveling the Middle East. Under “President Biden,” we had NO WAR in the Middle East.

Instead, we had PEACE. Now, War is raging everywhere, and the two Incompetents running this Country are leading us to the brink of World War III. You wouldn’t trust Donald or Jaydee to run a lemonade stand, let alone lead the Free World. If Kamala Harris wins in 2028, we will have peace in the World again. If Vance gets 4 more years, the World goes up in smoke and Iran will win.

Thus concludes the portion of this article mad-libbing an October 1, 2024 statement from then-former President Trump that came shortly before the US military and IDF successfully blocked a wave of Iranian drones and missiles. On Sunday the IDF had to defend the country again from the kind of attack Trump said he would have prevented from happening. Nice going, Donnie.

Let there be no further questions about Donald Trump’s electoral legitimacy as President of the United States – and not in terms of whether or not he won the 2016 or 2024 elections. He won them fair and square electorally, emphasizing electorally because both bids were crime sprees with all sorts of scams, one of which from the first bid got him convicted of 34 felonies. But overall legitimacy, as leader of the United States government and military, as capable of making decisions that affect the entire world, as mentally and emotionally in control of himself enough to do the incredibly difficult job at nearly 80 years old? No, he’s not legitimate, at all, and his presidencies should in the future be retroactively declared vacancies of office, with all bills he signed, appointments made, and so on rendered null and void due to the incapacities displayed in this interview. It’s undoubtedly the worst in American history by a sitting president.

Last week’s local elections in South Korea were marred once again by the same American-style “voter integrity” controversies that have plagued their politics for years – and were the basis for the coup attempt that got conservative Yoon Suk-Yeol removed from the presidency and imprisoned for the rest of his life – with Yoon’s “People Power Party” freaking the fuck out and the chief of the National Election Commission handing in his resignation over the failures, the AP reports.

That being said, the problems were pretty limited in scale as it was estimated just 50 of the country’s 14,300 polling precincts ran out of ballots and of those 22 had actually suspended voting, which adds up to just 0.35 percent of all in-person voting locations. That also being said, 12 of those were in Seoul’s Songpa district, a right wing stronghold, which sure doesn’t seem like a coincidence given that the Korean capital city’s conservative Mayor Oh Se-hoon was running for reelection.

Oh did win though. But you know how the “too big to rig” dance goes for the permanently aggrieved.

In unrelated but similar news, right wing former MTV reality show dickbag Spencer Pratt is in serious danger of being eliminated in the Los Angeles mayoral top-two “jungle primary,” with leftie candidate Nithya Raman’s share of the vote steadily outpacing his during the protracted count that for some fucking reason is still only at 68 percent reported. Incumbent Mayor Karen Bass remains on top but would proooooooobably rather face Pratt than Raman in the runoff. The gubernatorial race is a similar-ish story, with former HHS Secretary Xavier Becerra on top and ahead of Trump-endorsed British MAGA douchebag Steve Hilton. Dem billionaire Tom Steyer is further behind Hilton than Raman is to Pratt in Los Angeles, but it’s not out of the question that both runoffs could be Dem vs Dem… All of it leaving California MAGAs screaming like their South Korean brethren.

“As we move closer to Game 3 of the NBA Finals on Monday night, Madison Square Garden and the United States Secret Service want to help ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all ticket holders by sharing important security procedures that will be in place. A strict no-bag policy will be in effect, and fans should make every effort to limit personal items to an absolute minimum.”

“Fans should expect enhanced security measures when entering Madison Square Garden, including TSA-style screening procedures. Guests are strongly encouraged to arrive at least two hours before tip-off to allow additional time for screening and entry. Fans are encouraged to review the complete list of prohibited items before arriving at secretservice.gov/prohibiteditems. There will be no storage available for prohibited items brought to the venue,” says a notice posted by the New York Knicks ahead of convicted felon President Trump’s expected attendance to make their experience less fun.

People already paid fucking thousands and thousands of dollars for these tickets and now they get to have to show up an extra two hours early because of this fat fuck’s egomania. Karma will be if ESPN doesn’t pull some kind of shit to edit out the booing, which will be plentiful.

Ohio rancher Bill Knapke says he was cool with it when convicted felon President Trump last year commanded Knapke and his fellow cattle farmers “to get their prices down” on beef, telling the Wall Street Journal he “took it on the chin, but we’re fine. We’ll give Trump plenty of time to accomplish what he needs to. He’s got a plan.” Knapke did not elaborate on the “plan,” as he understands it.

“Rising fuel and fertilizer prices have stung, but Knapke said it is worth paying more to operate his farm if it means America is respected on the global stage and an Iranian nuclear threat is neutralized,” the Journal writes of the farmer who was no doubt pro-peace until Trump was not.

“The question of what if Democrats got back into power is terrifying for voters here,” Darke County GOP chairwoman KatieDeLand said. “They wonder, ‘Would gas be $7/gallon with Kamala Harris?’”

A January “burglary” of a San Francisco yoga studio in which the perpetrator used a Waymo self-driving taxi to convey himself to and from the scene of the crime remains unsolved five months later despite the number of cameras mounted inside and outside the vehicle that recorded every moment of the unknown male suspect’s theft of a stack of men’s yoga shorts from the small gym.

The problem, according to the San Francisco Chronicle, is that the Google subsidiary’s recording software automatically blurs the faces of every passenger inside and every pedestrian outside of the company’s fleet of Jaguar I-Pace crossover SUV models, rendering the footage useless. “I would think it would be easier to solve in a Waymo,” the case’s detective, SFPD Sergeant Tim Faye, told the Chronicle. Yet despite the company’s willingness to cooperate, he’s been unable to identify the suspect, who apparently used a stolen credit card and/or burner phone to book the ride and make the three minute stop to Hot 8 Yoga in the Marina District. The in-store surveillance footage was at the wrong angle needed to see the guy’s face and thus the crime remains unsolved.

It’s not clear why the Chronicle calls it a “burglary” when it sounds more like shoplifting that, for whatever reason, went unwitnessed by the studio’s staff. Manager Farah Issa laughed it off, saying the incident “was quite funny. He just stole a bunch of men’s shorts,” so it’s possible that the time elapsed and non-violent, low-loss nature of the crime are holding back investigative progress much more than any technical hurdles and/or lack of cooperation from Waymo on a subpoena.

During a hearing in front a federal appeals court over the stupid ballroom he’s trying to build, convicted felon President Trump’s lawyers on Friday argued they could destroy the Statue of Liberty on a whim if they wanted to and no one could do anything about it, Politico reports.

“If the government decides, very quickly, to bulldoze the Statue of Liberty – the people whose ancestors that was the first thing they saw coming to this country, but the government moved too fast – nothing can be done?” DC Court of Appeals Judge Patricia Millett asked Trump Regime toady Yaakov Roth, who then said “I think that’s right, yes,” in response to the judge’s question.

Being a friend of Jeffrey Epstein and therefore a friend of a friend of convicted felon President Trump, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, formerly Prince Andrew, knows a thing or two about ripping off the public as a report by the UK’s National Audit Office found. Without any actual right to do so, Andrew received income from renting out the cottages on the Royal Lodge estate, his home near Windsor Castle for more than 20 years. It’s not clear how much he collected, but one would assume it would’ve had to have been pretty substantial given that these “cottages” are historic luxury digs.

“The Ballroom is coming along fantastically well. It’s on time, and under budget (Unlike the Federal Reserve Building, where “Too Late” has done a terrible job of Cost and Time Control!), and at a much higher quality than I ever promised, including the DronePort, and ALL of the other many Military elements, which are all vital for National Security, that are being built throughout the whole integrated, cohesive Project. It is desperately needed, and will be very special! The woman that sued me has absolutely no STANDING to do so. This should not even be a case, and it is highly damaging to our Country. She is highly litigious, a serial plaintiff, and said she was bothered in her walking by the White House, but didn’t state her involvement in distant other places. Why then is she involved in litigation on other Developments in far distant parts of DC. Is she walking there, too?”

“How is she walking on a totally closed street at the Treasury Building – Nobody is allowed to walk there? She never saw a Building, because there is no Building there,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, very focused on the nation’s problems as always.

Bloodthirsty Neocon former Bush and Trump administration official John Bolton is preparing to plead guilty to one count of illegal retention of sensitive national security documents, CNN reports citing sources familiar. Part of his plea deal includes a $2 million fine and anywhere from 0 to 60 months in the joint, though one would imagine it’s 0 since it’s a plea deal for a 70-something first time offender.

Bolton’s case represents a rare win for convicted felon President Trump’s campaign of weaponizing the justice system against his political enemies, the main reason for this being the fact that Bolton just happened to have committed an actual crime rather than take a picture of fucking seashells.

Turns out that when they put their terminally-pilled minds to it, right propaganda site the Gateway Pundit can be pretty thorough and detailed… or maybe this is campaign payola written by the other other guy’s team in the Alabama US Senate primary runoff and printed by the Pundit.

Either way the site’s founder Jim Hoft is on the byline as the article purports the circulation of “a detailed memorandum with” leading candidate MAGA extremist Congressman Barry Moore’s “accompanying military records alleges that Moore, (AL-02) has materially misrepresented his military service record for over a decade, while simultaneously signing a high-profile letter condemning Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz for the same category of conduct.”

Just gotta pause there to lol at the Gateway Pundit telling Moore he shouldn’t have thrown bricks from his glass house. Not to mention that Tim Walz fucked up once in the tiniest of gaffes and his saying “those weapons of war that I carried in war” despite never having served in a combat zone during a speech doesn’t even come close to the level of valor theft by Moore the Pundit lays out.

“The Dumocrats are at it again! They are trying to STEAL THE GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA PRIMARY, AND THE MAYOR OF LOS ANGELES, PRIMARY, AWAY FROM TWO GREAT REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES. Here we go with the very late and massive numbers of MAIL IN BALLOTS” posted convicted felon President Trump early Thursday, then adding “There’s BIG cheating by the Dumocrats in California. Votes are all tied up. May not be in for weeks. Under investigation by the US Attorney’s Office in Los Angeles. Why the vote counting DELAY???”

“Yesterday, in a meaningless vote, the House voted, 4 bad Republicans and all of the Dumocrats, to limit my War Powers, right in the middle of my final negotiations to end the War with the Islamic Republic of Iran. Who would do such an unpatriotic thing. They know where the negotiations stand. The Democrats are fueled by Trump Derangement Syndrome. They would rather have our Country fail than give me another, of many, victories. The four Republicans, that’s a whole other story, they’re GRANDSTANDERS! They should be ashamed of themselves. MAGA!!!” the fat bastard later posted.