Heels-wearing Florida Gov Ron DeSantis on Monday unveiled a map projected to nuke four of the eight Dem-held Congressional districts in the Sunshine State, per Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman, who adds that it’s unlikely the GOP are actually going to win all 24 seats in November.

A $500 million yacht owned by sanctioned Russian oligarch Alexey Mordashov cruised through the Strait of Hormuz over the weekend, impeded by neither Iranian nor American military vessels and without paying the $2 million toll imposed by the Iranians too boot, NEXTA reports.

How and why US Navy personnel did not interdict such a vessel is not clear. But not surprising.

'COURAGE UNDER FIRE': @FBIDirectorKash praises President Trump’s leadership and announces a rapid, "above board" investigation into the recent tragic incident.

"We are prepared to tackle this investigation as we've done since it started," Patel says, noting that he and Acting AG… pic.twitter.com/ipn5fWSZBG

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) April 27, 2026

German Chancellor Friedrich Merz evidently stopped giving a shit what convicted felon President Trump thinks on Monday as he told a crowd of students that the “Iranians are obviously very skilled ⁠at negotiating, or rather, very skilful at not negotiating, letting the Americans travel to Islamabad ​and then leave again without any result,” Reuters reports from the town of Marsburg.

“An entire nation is being humiliated by the Iranian leadership, especially by these so-called Revolutionary Guards. And so I hope that this ends as quickly as possible,” Merz added as he nodded at German military history of a really ill-advised attack turning against a dictatorial leader.

“Today, as we declare an end to the Upstate measles outbreak, the largest in the United States in more than 35 years, I wish to humbly and profoundly thank the South Carolinians whose hard work prevented this outbreak from becoming far larger and more serious than it could have become.”

“I am very thankful for their efforts and support during this challenging time. While 997 is a large number, without the front-line help from a diverse and dedicated group of people from all backgrounds and walks of life, I believe many more cases – and potentially more hospitalizations or even deaths – would have occurred. The outbreak was predominantly contained to one area of one county and never went statewide, thanks to timely investigations, identification of those exposed, and people’s willingness to stay home. In many ways, this was a textbook response to dealing with an outbreak,” said South Carolina Department of Public Health Interim Director Dr Edward Simmer in a statement Monday after a few weeks passed without a new reported case of the virus.

The statement goes on for a while and at no point does Simmer get anywhere near mentioning that maybe 997 infections from a disease whose vaccine was invented and reproduced at mass scale decades ago should not have happened in the first place and that aversion to said vax comes from the top in a state that again and again and again elects candidates from the party opposed to them.

Mississippi sixth graders Jackson Casnave, who last week grabbed the wheel of his school bus after driver Leah Taylor passed out from an asthma attack while his classmate Darrius Clark hit the brakes and helped put the bus in park after Casnave guided it onto a median, will according to the AP be honored with “a lunch field trip next week at a restaurant of their choosing” for their act of heroism.

So will Darrius’s sister Kayleigh, who dialed 911, and Destiny Cornelius, who administered the nebulizer to driver Leah Taylor, and McKenzy Finch, who held up Taylor’s head, thus saving the life of the driver. Those five, who jumped into action and ensured that none of the 40 or so occupants of the bus, not to mention the occupants of any other vehicle on that highway, left the scene in a body bag, will be rewarded for their courage and quick, resolute thinking with a free lunch field trip.

As will the other 30-odd students who were riding on the bus, ones that Kayleigh said were screaming so loudly she couldn’t hear the 911 operator, which does not foreclose the possibility that at least several were watching TikTok with their headphones on and only noticed that the bus had stopped moving. Those kids will get the same free lunch as the ones who saved their lives and that of the driver. It’s not clear if the restaurant pick – unspecified in the article – at least goes to the five.

Or if Taylor picked up the extra hours to drive them during said special lunchtime field trip.

Evidently unwilling to suffer the embarrassment of sitting in the cheap seats now that he’s been removed from power after 16 years of strongman rule, former Hungarian dictator Viktor Orban on Saturday announced he’s stepping down from Budapest’s parliament, to lead “the reorganization of the patriotic movement,” the BBC reports on some not-at-all-uncharacteristic butthurt.

Watch this whole 13 minute bit if you care enough. Can’t blame you if you do not, however.

The headline is not a verbatim quote so much as additional context to Acting Attorney General Todd Blancher’s pretty half-assed fan service nod at how Saturday night’s pretty lame “assassination attempt” – for which the suspect was not killed at the scene, contrary to uncorrected too-early sourcing here on National Zero – was obviously inspired by the hateful, treasonous rhetoric of those who mock convicted felon President Trump as a drug-addled senior with serious mental issues.

Bad rhino! Very stupid! That specific human was trying to protect you from poachers who want to mount your head and horn on their wall or grind it up into whatever the hell magic healing powder they think your ivory creates! Schoeman Van Jaarsveld was friend, not goring and stomping target!

Hmmm… Maybe could’ve gone with “Bleeding heart leftist thinks the rhinos are his friend, heart and rest of torso left bleeding on the ground from rhino horn” but that gets dicey because the guy was obviously an Afrikaner and it all starts tracking with all the fake “white genocide” shit and…

Anyway The George Hearld reports that the 58 year-old Van Jaarsveld was fatally attacked by a black rhino while on patrol on the Samara Karoo Reserve Thursday morning. “He will be sadly missed and we extend our deepest condolences to his family and team,” the reserve said in a statement.

The latest Reuters/Ipsos national survey finds 64 percent of respondents opposed to ending birthright citizenship versus 32 percent in favor, fairly symmetrical with so many other questions on MAGA fascist policy ambitions, such as the 65 percent who said mail-in ballots arriving after election day but postmarked on or before should be counted rather than thrown out.

Shots were fired at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner on Saturday night with Secret Secret agents putting down the unidentified assailant before he could take down whoever he was targeting, CNN’s Jake Tapper reports from the room. Convicted felon President Trump is apparently demanding the show continue with him as the headliner.

“I just cancelled the trip of my representatives going is Islamabad, Pakistan, to meet with the Iranians. Too much time wasted on traveling, too much work! Besides which, there is tremendous infighting and confusion within their ‘leadership.’ Nobody knows who is in charge, including them.”

“Also, we have all the cards, they have none! If they want to talk, all they have to do is call!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday, no doubt spiking oil prices.

Substacker G Elliot Morris, aka Strength In Numbers, a guy who kind of knows his shit about polling even if he may not have the years of experience as a pollster himself quite yet, found this week that 21 percent of convicted felon President Trump’s 2024 voters said the fat bastard should be impeached and removed from office. What a fun and novel quantification of just how avoidable this was if those respondents had just listened to literally any real news source.

Checkmate, assholes

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 25, 2026

Florida federal Judge Kathleen Sullivan on Friday told convicted felon President Trump and the IRS that no, she won’t be granting them the extension they want and that they need to explain to her in a hearing whether they’re “sufficiently adverse.” Which prooooobably means she’s not going to allow the federal government to just hand the fat fuck $10 billion in a “settlement” if she can stop it.

“People and Companies that have taken advantage of our Country for decades, because of the horrible and ridiculous United States Supreme Court decision on Tariffs, are now supposed to be given back 159 Billion Dollars. All they had to do was one little half sentence, ‘that the United States does not have to pay back monies that were already paid’ — and our Country would be 159 Billion Dollars richer. That’s more than most Countries are worth! Think of it — Just one half sentence, and we would have saved 159 Billion Dollars. Couldn’t they have done that for our Nation?” posted the credited author of “The Art of The Deal” on Friday, his legendary genius at ripping people off and never paying them coming out after the Supreme Court nuked his tariffs.