Nobody should ever look at Walmart is a good citizen. It’s a pretty scummy, rapacious company with a track record far too long to even entertain listing here in this space. Little if anything they do is altruistic. Yet in taking high road relative to Amazon and Apple‘s apparent submission to convicted felon President Trump’s rage at corporate giants for publicizing the inflationary effects of his stupid trade war they still manage to look better in comparison. CNBC reports that sources within the company tell them the decision to defy the Orange God Emperor’s commands “was motivated by a sense of obligation to explain to customers and investors why prices would increase.”

That “obligation” can ultimately be traced back to profit motive, as retail analyst Steve Shemesh says Walmart “may have decided to be transparent with its shoppers about the financial realities of tariffs for its business, especially since its customer base tends to be price sensitive,” which is a nicer way of saying “poor” or “not actually poor but fucking cheapskates who dress like they’re poor.” Still, according to other analyst egghead Mike Baker, in taking a stand “they’re trying to signal the idea that prices will go up and brace the consumer and the US population for that idea, and also, in a way, send a message to policymakers that it’s impractical to think that the entirety of the tariffs will be absorbed by the retailer or the manufacturer… It’s never good to be on the opposite side of an issue with the US government and particularly with the bully pulpit that Trump tends to use.”

In a bit of fortuitous timing as it comes less than 24 hours after National Zero raised the very important matter of “How’s that hunt for the anti-Tesla terrorist masterminds going?” drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk on Tuesday told some Qatar Economic circlejerk that the “terrorists” who attacked his dealerships “will go to prison. And the people that funded them and organized them will also go to prison. Don’t worry, we’re coming for you,” lame MAGA propaganda site Red State reports.

So there’s the answer to that burning (hehe) question: There’s no new info. He’s just talking shit. It also seems that the campaign kind of worked since Musk also announced he’s stepping back from politics. Red State outright ignores this in their article, writing “It’s clear that the last few months have taken a toll on Elon Musk, but he’s not going back down from this fight. No longer content to let violent extremists hide behind the guise of ‘protest,’ Musk is rightly putting the full weight of his influence – and likely his legal firepower – behind efforts to hold the guilty accountable. And if his track record is any indication, the agitators should take him seriously. Very seriously,” lol.

Convicted felon President Trump will on Tuesday announce his long-hinted “Golden Dome” plan, a bigger version of Israel’s Iron Dome, except named after a more valuable metal, Reuters reports.

The missile defense shield project seems destined to achieve the same level of success and accomplishment as Trump’s previous ambitious major national projects like the giant 1,955 wall along the southern border that Mexico paid for, the Obamacare replacement that took two weeks to finish and get passed through Congress, inventing 6G wireless, and the elimination of the national debt.

“We share President Trump’s call for unity within the House Republican Conference. A fair SALT deduction is a matter of fundamental fairness for the hardworking families we represent, including the many who proudly support President Trump and voted for him, in part, because he promised to restore SALT. We hope his remarks today motivate the Speaker to advance a SALT proposal that delivers meaningful relief for our middle-class constituents, as we have worked in good faith with House Leadership for more than a year. Our states are donor states, consistently subsidizing so-called fiscally responsible red states,” says a joint statement from Republican Representatives Young Kim of California, Tom Kean of New Jersey, and New Yorkers Andrew Garbarino, Nick LaLota, and Mike Lawler. Other Empire Stater, malevolent razorback Elise Stefanik, did not put her campaign logo on the statement, a curious omission from Team SALT. Must be Trump yanking her leash while dangling the fresh meat of an endorsement in next year’s gubernatorial race in front of her.

Love the “he promised to restore SALT.” That’s just going to piss the fat bastard off even more.

Still even with all this mess nobody should declare the bill – or at least some major package down the line – to be doomed. You may however want to recognize the math problem: Assume all Dems show up to vote no. Kentucky hick Thomas Massey is also a hard no. That’s 214 seats out of 431 presently filled, leaving a margin of TWO VOTES. Five are saying they’re not budging. This is even before we get to the Freedom Caucasians, several of whom are not at all happy with the present situation which may or may not end up being exacerbated by further concessions to Team SALT.

And then there’s the Senate, which is a whole other giant clusterfuck of shaky support…

Hardcore conservative Christian college Liberty University agreed to pay $15 million to its former president, Jerry Falwell Jr, in a settlement last year for “wrongfully” firing him in 2020 after finding out that he liked to jerk off while watching his wife fuck the pool boy, USA Today reports.

The settlement’s monetary term went undisclosed until Tuesday, when the paper’s reporters dug into Liberty’s recently filed 2023-2024 IRS disclosures and found the payout. In total, Falwell will receive roughly $5.5 million to settle the lawsuits in addition to roughly $9.7 million he already won as part of his retirement package that was in dispute, according to the tax documents.

It’s not clear if the Falwells will use the proceeds to travel around the world in search of adventure and exotic young pool boys for wife Becki to fuck. Not to kink-shame or anything.

On this week’s edition of “Shit Trump voters tell the Economist/YouGov national survey” the question of “How much do you think Donald Trump’s business interests and positions are affecting his decision-making while he is serving as president?” finds a combined 78 percent of Trump 2024 voters (24 percent “A lot,” 29 percent “Some,” and 25 percent said “Not much”) admitting that yeah, he’s directing US executive branch policy in ways that affect his personal bottom line.

Just 21 percent of Trump 2024 voters said “None.” Which is the correct answer to how much he should be doing that and a sign that so few remain of the fanboys still either that fucking stupid or lying to themselves and/or YouGov about the extent of fat Donald’s venality. While it’s no surprise that Trump fans would move the goalposts as soon as a reality they once refused to recognize becomes undeniable, this may be the starkest quantification of such admission ever seen.

And one that they (largely) figured out how to rationalize, as the next question “Do you agree or disagree that what is good for Donald Trump’s business is good for the country?” found 61 percent of MAGA respondents agreeing (23 percent “Strongly,” 38 percent “Somewhat”) to just 21 percent disagreeing (12 percent “Strongly,” 9 percent “Somewhat”), while 18 percent said “Don’t know,” which means “No” but don’t want to say it. Only 2 percent of Harris voters said they didn’t know.

Finally, when confronted by a more direct way of asking the question with “Do you think President Trump is using his office for personal gain?” only 14 percent of his fans said yes, 9 percent didn’t know, and the rest – 77 percent said – no. Damn good survey design to get them to squirm and shift uncomfortably like that. These were all asked within the first six questions out of about 100 too.

President @realDonaldTrump dances to YMCA for the wonderful kids at Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day 🤣🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/sc9tlsiMhT

— Margo Martin (@MargoMartin47) May 20, 2025

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis must be spinning in his political career’s grave after seeing this heinous, bloated, attention whore dressing up like a dumpy, clownish man and teaching young children a dance coded to urge young men to visit flophouses to engage in casual gay sex. It’s like he’s openly spitting on DeSantis’s largest and most impactful legislative accomplishment.

Following convicted felon President Trump’s inspiring pep talk on Tuesday, members of the “SALT Caucus” have “reached out to the Speaker to tell them they are a no on the bill,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports and yeah that might just be kind of a problem in the way of passing it this week.

“Today, Oscar Mayer announces the ‘Wienie 500’ – a first-of-its-kind spectacle where the fleet of Wienermobiles will haul buns to the legendary Indianapolis Motor Speedway for a race unlike any other. Ahead of this year’s Indianapolis 500, which draws more than 330,000 fans who consume nearly 30,000 hot dogs, Oscar Mayer’s beloved Hotdoggers will make their racing debut on the very same track as the pros. The race will be streamed live on Friday, May 23 at 2pm ET on the FOX Sports app and across @INDYCARonFOX social accounts, and fans can catch highlights from the race during Sunday’s Indy 500 pre-race show on FOX,” says a press release from Oscar Mayer.

“The Wienie 500 will also mark the first ‘meat-up’ of all six Wienermobiles in over a decade and the first competitive race for the fleet, each sporting an all-new look. Each Wienermobile will represent a different regional dog, including the Chi Dog (Midwest), New York Dog (East), Slaw Dog (Southeast), Sonoran Dog (Southwest) Chili Dog (South) and Seattle Dog (Northwest). From custom Hotdogger racing suits, to a trophy presentation in the ‘Wiener’s Circle’, complete with a condiment spray and hot dog for the wiener’s enjoyment, every moment of the race is designed to spark smiles, serving up a delightful racing event only Oscar Mayer can,” the press release continued, turgid with anticipation over the very thought of six large phallic objects thundering down the raceway in front of fans sure to be already tantalized by the sweaty, piston-pumping main event’s overtones of dominance over submissive rivals, thunderously loud purring, and the occasional rear-ending.

Also, who the hell decided to call it the “Wiener’s Circle” and who kneels in the middle of it? Lol.

A flamboyant, makeup-wearing New York native who had some liberal sensibilities until he horseshoed into hardcore MAGAism now hates Jews again and wants them to stop bombing Gaza immediately, going so far as to protest the campaign waged by the Israeli state, Axios reports.

The Jew-hater is of course convicted felon President Trump and if what Axios printed about him being “frustrated by the ongoing war in Gaza and upset by images of suffering of Palestinian children, and has told his aides to tell Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu he wants him to wrap it up” is correct then by Trump’s own standards he hates Jews and is basically a Nazi.

He might as well start wearing a kiffeyeh and declare himself an honorary Palestinian. Hell, he should be deported to Gaza, really, for betraying Israel, the Jews, and America. He’s no better than the terrorist Jew-haters who seized control of college campuses to protest the war.

This fucking idiot literally said habeas corpus is “a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country,” to which New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan said, very understatedly, “That’s incorrect,” before educating dog murderer Kristi Noem on what the Latin phrase actually means. Later, when asked by Hassan “If the president tries to suspend habeas corpus and a federal court reverses the president’s order, will you comply with the court order and uphold habeas corpus, or will you follow the president’s directive?” Noem said “We are following all federal court orders,” Hassan then replied “That is not true for anybody who reads the news.” The fucking moron then tried for a “mic drop” with “I wouldn’t rely on the news for your facts.”

Noem then had no answer when Richard Blumenthal said “Let me go to some of the expenditures that your department is making. $200 million for an ad campaign fawning over President Trump’s supposed accomplishments… none of these expenditures are in your present budget… you’re just spending recklessly and it would seem wastefully without authorization. That’s against the law.”

From a memo sent to soldiers of the Army’s 43rd Adjutant Battalion based at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri, linked by the Army Times: “The usage of profanity, vulgar language, rude gestures or remarks are strictly prohibited while operating in official capacities during duty hours. Such language does not align with the Army’s core values and undermines the integrity of our Soldiers and our formations therefore will not be tolerated in the 43rd Reception Battalion. Restrictions: Vulgar or disparaging language will not be utilized during meetings, briefings, training exercises, while addressing superiors, peers, or trainees. Vulgar or offensive language will not be displayed on any piece of clothing or personal effects at any time within the Battalion footprint.”

That’s kind of woke, isn’t it? Taking the fun out of being in the military would qualify, right? Someone pass this along to Secretary Petey Pee Pants whenever he’s done sleeping off his breakfast gin.

Convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday warned House Republicans “Don’t fuck around with Medicaid,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports from a source in the closed-door meeting. The words come even as he hopes for them to deliver him a bill that will, in fact, fuck around with Medicaid by imposing onerous paperwork requirements on recipients, a great deal of whom already do work, and simply create attrition through red tape with mail that they’ll probably miss – if it’s even sent.

The fat bastard also urged Blue State Republicans to take the $40,000 SALT cap offered by Mike Johnson on Monday night, an offer that wasn’t received very well by Mike Lawler and pals. Trump then singled out Lawler, saying “I know your district better than you do, if you lose because of salt you were going to lose anyway.” Note that this is less than two weeks after Trump endorsed him.

“TRUMP is now complaining about the debt limit deal that Kevin McCarthy cut with Joe Biden. This is a greatest hit for Trump,” Sherman later tweeted. Poor Kev, a failure even in political death, lol.

Lurching into the Capitol to cajole House republicans to shut the fuck up and vote yes on his “Big Beautiful Bill,” convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday sounded kind of different on the matter of SALT deductions than he did on the campaign trail last year. On September 17th, 2024 the fat bastard posted “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? VOTE FOR TRUMP! I will turn it around, get SALT back, lower your Taxes, and so much more” in the middle of hyping his stupid rally at Long Island’s Nassau Coliseum that week. Now, after losing his original home state, he’s wary of anything that benefits residents of “very blue states that I don’t really believe… if we had honest elections, I think I would’ve won California, I would’ve won New York. I even think I would’ve won Illinois.”

Japan’s top trade negotiator on Tuesday told reporters that there will be no changes to Tokyo’s stance of total repeal of convicted felon President Trump’s stupid tariffs on their exports, Reuters reports on a tough pickle for the credited but not actual author of “The Art of the Deal.”

“The slew of US tariffs including reciprocal tariffs as well as those on automobiles, car parts, steel and aluminium, are regrettable. There’s no change to our stance of seeking a review, which is to say an elimination, of them,” said Ryosei Akazawa at a press conference. Japan’s Kyodo news agency reported on Tuesday that Akazawa will travel to Washington this week to attend the third round of talks potentially starting on Friday and is willing to offer to buy US corn exports.

Senate Dems Liz Warren, Ron Wyden, and Bernie Sanders on Tuesday shared with the Wall Street Journal a letter they sent to Paramount Global Chair Shari Redstone warning her that she and her company are edging close to violating bribery laws by entertaining settling convicted felon President Trump’s batshit stupid lawsuit against the media giant for applying standard edits to former Vice President Kamala Harris’s 60 Minutes interview – the one Trump pussied out of – with the Dems writing it’s likely illegal to do so “in exchange for approval of its merger with Skydance Media.”

“Redstone hasn’t seen the letter, which was sent Tuesday night, a spokeswoman said” the Journal writes in a temporal fuckup since it’s still Tuesday morning. The spokeswoman then claimed Redstone “has recused herself from the settlement talks,” and lol at that bullshit.

CNN’s Brian Stelter reports that Redstone is full MAGA, hardcore pro-Netanyahu, and constantly harasses journalists over what she says is “unfair” coverage of the ongoing genocide in Gaza as part of a longer segment about the abrupt Monday departure of CBS News President Wendy McMahon.

Scott Adams was the only one man enough to publicly admit he was wrong about the vaccine. Big respect for doing it. https://t.co/uQU0NpowO1

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) May 19, 2025

Was wondering when the fanboys would start dredging up the pic of Joe Biden pulling up his sleeve and getting the COVID shot as a means of explaining his cancer. Guess they get to sidestep that now that Scott Adams took the lead and is making his nigh-deathbed “redemption,” lol.

“Congressman Jared Golden of Lewiston today announced his campaign for re-election to Maine’s 2nd Congressional District. ‘While I have considered many options for how best to continue serving the people of Maine, I have decided to run for re-election because the surest way to restore balance in Washington is for Democrats to win back the House of Representatives,’ Golden said. ‘While the election is still 18 months away and I remain focused on my responsibilities to my constituents and my family, I also know the path to the majority runs through Maine. And I am going to do what it takes to make sure no one like Paul LePage blusters his way into Congress.'”

“‘The stakes are clear: While the GOP in Congress is working overtime to take away Mainers health care and further rig the tax code for the rich, Jared is standing up for our health care, workers’ rights, reproductive freedom and Maine’s heritage industries,’ Golden’s campaign manager. ‘He’s a proven winner and the right choice to beat a candidate like Paul LePage and restore checks and balances in Congress,'” says a statement from Golden’s campaign via WABI.

House Dem leadership had been worried Golden would launch a bid against Concern Lady Susan Collins. It’s not clear how well he would’ve done, maybe it’d be a rough primary but if he survived he might’ve been a solid favorite in a general against Collins. Less uncertain is how the 2nd District would’ve gone with fat racist slob former Governor Paul LePage against a new Dem nominee – who in 2018, as he left office basically told Maine voters to go fuck themselves and moved to Florida – as LePage probably would’ve won pretty easily, despite the stink of reverse carpet-bagging.

The South African government is working on a cave to its least-favorite son by bending its laws mandating local Black ownership for tech infrastructure and opening its market to Starlink in what Bloomberg reports is President Cyril Ramaphosa’s administration “aiming to ease tensions with both the billionaire and US President Donald Trump” ahead of the leader’s Wednesday visit to the Orange Allah’s White House. Note these “tensions” stem solely from white nationalist masturbatory agitprop.

The exit ramp for Ramaphosa from the country’s Black Economic Empowerment laws requiring a minimum of 30 percent Black ownership for concerns operating in the country isn’t unprecedented, as in 2019 Toyota, Ford, and BMW were allowed carveouts in exchange for investments in empowerment programs. Bloomberg writes the “so-called Equity Equivalent option would instead involve investments in infrastructure or training, or providing Starlink kits to rural areas in order to help improve Internet access,” which amounts to an actual “DEI” program. Not like when Republicans and their fanboys use “DEI” when they want to say the n-word, but the true definition of the term.

So yeah, let’s see how this goes. That the article upfront says this is about supplicating to Trump and Ketamine Brain before it says anything about what Ramaphosa’s government gets to save face and about how few homes in rural South Africa have reliable internet access probably says a lot about what to expect from this “deal.” It is however a pretty safe bet that Musk will be hiring few if any of those would-be “refugee” white trash slob Afrikaners to work for him on the ground in his home country and will probably instead send Indian engineers to do the legwork there.

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth on Monday pointed to the “success” of the bombing campaign against Houthi positions in Yemen as a reason why it’s not a big deal that now-former National Security Advisor Mike Waltz fucked up and added the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic to the Trump Regime’s Signal chat before the strikes began. This of course is a subjective assessment dependent on one’s definition of “success.” Some might look at $1 billion in weaponry burned, two $67 million F/A-18 Super Hornets now at the bottom of the Red Sea because they fell off their aircraft carrier, several more nearly getting shot down by anti-aircraft fire, seven Reaper drones worth $30 million each actually getting shot down, and convicted felon President Trump looking for an “offramp” to declare victory before one or more US service members got killed and disagree with Hegseth’s take.

Oh and missiles are still being fired from Houthi country at Israel after said victory declaration. Can’t forget that, since it was pretty much the whole reason for bombing them in the first place. 👊🇺🇸🔥