Without anything in the way of context for the statement, Axios’s Barak Ravid reports that US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman General Dan “Raizin” Caine on Tuesday announced that military forces “are ready to resume major combat operations against Iran in a moment’s notice,” which is probably a sign that neckbearded Vice President JD Vance has blown the peace talks in Pakistan yet again.

You had one job Jaydee. Caine’s announcement could also be a comment of convicted felon President Trump’s post screaming that “Iran has Violated the Cease Fire numerous times!”

On an unrelated note and just because it’s more economical to cram Trump’s Truth Social shit into a single article, the fat bastard also posted “VIRGINIA, VOTE ‘NO’ TO SAVE YOUR COUNTRY!” a message that itself could be worth at least a few thousand “Yes” votes to nuke four of the five currently Republican-held districts to even the score in a gerrymandering war Trump started.

Monday’s National Zero headline “Bearghazi attack leave two US paratroopers wounded in Alaska” was a comical use of the -ghazi suffix which was in no way meant to be construed as a serious invocation of the 2012 terrorist assault on the diplomatic mission in the Libyan city that left four Americans dead, including US Ambassador J Christopher Stevens, and for some fucking reason got blamed on Hillary Clinton. It was a not particularly clever joke and the soldiers reportedly suffered only mild injuries during the unexpected encounter with the angry ursine during training maneuvers.

This headline’s use of “Mexghazi” is 110 percent as serious as Reuters reports that President Claudia Sheinbaum on Monday ordered a probe into a Sunday incident that left two US embassy employees and another two Mexican state officials dead, supposedly in a car crash after a raid on a cartel site in Chihuahua State. That State Department personnel were accompanying local law enforcement on a raid was news to Sheinbaum’s administration… because no American officials informed them.

Sheinbaum requested US Ambassador Ronald Johnson (no relation to the scumbag Republican Wisconsin senator of the same name) to meet with Foreign Minister Roberto Velasco.

The Fake News media received their new marching orders to push this trans propaganda story…

Who writes the script? pic.twitter.com/jOMFejhH2M

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) April 20, 2026

Following Monday’s 7.5 earthquake off Japan’s northeastern coast – triggering a tsunami that thankfully ended up being pretty weak and low-energy – officials in the very geologically active archipelago issued an advisory warning that the tremor could be a precursor to larger event on the scale of the cataclysmic 2011 quake and tsunami that killed over 20,000 people, NHK reports.

“Operation Midnight Hammer was a complete and total obliteration of the Nuclear Dust sites in Iran, therefore, digging it out will be a long and difficult process. Fake News CNN, and other corrupt Media Networks and Platforms, fail to give our great aviators the credit they deserve – Always trying to demean and belittle – LOSERS!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 11:22 PM on Monday.

Guess that means he’s admitting he was full of shit about the “dust” the whole time.

Rather than political fundraising theatrics by Mace “introduced” ignoring due process, why not notice for a vote? Nancy thinks allegations and accusations is due process and should concern South Carolinians if she was to be considered for Governor. Even though she’s under… https://t.co/6F5CnpeLoI

— Cory Mills (@CoryMillsFL) April 20, 2026

Let go of the bottom. It is an has always been an illusion. It is the surface of a plane that exists neither in the abstract nor the absolute, the objective or the subjective. Of course a jar of peanut butter has a bottom, it would cease to be a jar without it. This morass, this malefaction, this miasma of dysfunction and degeneracy in the Republican Party is neither chunky nor smooth. Nor is it that tasty honey-mixed Skippy flavor. The end will only come when the institutions that house it themselves end along with the government, the nation, humanity, the entire planet. The “bottom” is a temporal and entropic limit of being to the larger structures the party exists within.

Theoretically there is an apex too but lol if you think these fucks are getting there anytime soon.

Binge-drinking employee-fucker Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-Deremer, whose malevolence would have been legend if not for the malevolence of Pete Hegseth, K$H Patel, Kristi Noem, and… well you got the point… Chavez-Deremer will soon be seeing up close how tough the job market is these days, CNN reports. Worth pointing out that there still has yet to be a male member of convicted felon President Trump’s Arkham Asylum of a team to exit so far during his second reich.

Chavez-Deremer reportedly resigned but lol if you think it’s wholly on her terms, so until other information surfaces consider it a firing. Pretty soon the fat bastard will be out of women and will have to start firing the top men that he previously refused to during batshit disgraceful scandals.

Tim Apple is out, John Apple is in. Per a press release from the House that Steve Apple built before he died wishing he’d consulted with a real oncologist and not some quack: “Tim Cook will become executive chairman of Apple’s board of directors and John Ternus, senior vice president of Hardware Engineering, will become Apple’s next chief executive officer effective on September 1, 2026. The transition, which was approved unanimously by the Board of Directors, follows a thoughtful, long-term succession planning process. Cook will continue in his role as CEO through the summer as he works closely with Ternus on a smooth transition. As executive chairman, Cook will assist with certain aspects of the company, including engaging with policymakers around the world.”

Meaning he’ll still show up at the White House with a golden iPhone from time-to-time but also be less-than-committal on advising the Trump boys on how to design, produce, and market their own smartphone. Tim can only debase himself so much and humoring the two failsons is a red line.

👍 https://t.co/RgrcqTHTWp

— Tim Sheehy (@TimSheehyMT) April 20, 2026

Cryptic, eh? Like shouldn’t it be closer to “👊🇺🇸🔥” or similar if Sheepie was REALLY amped by Donald’s screaming fucking meltdown? The thumbs up just seems kind like “Okay, gramps. Sure.”

“The Democrats are doing everything possible to hurt the very strong position we are in with respect to Iran. Despite World War I lasting 4 years, 3 months, and 14 days, World War II lasting 6 years and 1 day, the Korean War lasting 3 years, 1 month, and 2 days, the Vietnam War lasting 19 years, 5 months, and 29 days, and Iraq lasting 8 years, 8 months, and 28 days, they like to say that I promised 6 weeks to defeat Iran, and actually, from the Military standpoint, it was far faster than that, but I’m not going to let them rush the United States into making a Deal that is not as good as it could have been. I read the Fake News saying that I am under ‘pressure’ to make a Deal. THIS IS NOT TRUE! I am under no pressure whatsoever, although, it will all happen, relatively quickly!”

“Time is not my adversary, the only thing that matters is that we finally, after 47 years, straighten out the MESS that other Presidents let happen because they didn’t have the Courage or Foresight to do what had to be done with respect to Iran. We’re in it, and it will be done RIGHT, and we won’t let the Weak and Pathetic Democrats, TRAITORS ALL, who for years have been talking about the Dangers of Iran, and that something has to be done, but now, since I’m the one doing it, belittle the accomplishments of our Military and the Trump Administration. This is being perfectly executed, on the scale of Venezuela, just a bigger, more complex operation. The result will be the same. In my First Term, I built the Greatest Military our Country has ever seen, including adding Space Force. In my Second Term, I am properly and judiciously using our Military to solve problems left to us by others of far less understanding or competence,” posted President Invincible God Titan on Monday.

Sources tell NOTUS that domestic abuser, valor thief, and possibly secretly a Muslim MAGA Florida Congressman Cory Mills has been putting the finishing touches on a resolution to expel utterly deranged fellow Republican Nancy Mace from the House because of that one time she lost her shit on some cops at the airport that one time when she couldn’t find them for a security escort.

Which was embarrassing and unbecoming but… She also didn’t almost get arrested for punching one of her girlfriends and then get slapped with a restraining order by another. Nancy Mace is a freaking maniac but she’s already on her way out the door and more likely than not is going to lose the Palmetto State GOP gubernatorial primary, so voters are going to have the final say on her. Plus it’s not like anyone else is agitating for her expulsion over that or any of her other deranged behavior because, again, they know she will not be in Congress this time next year. Why even bother?

Unless, of course, you’re Cory Mills and that fucking reckless and arrogant that you’re going to draw more attention to your own misdeeds by trying to take Nancy Mace down with you in retaliation for supporting an expulsion resolution for domestic abuse, valor theft, ethical/financial violations, etc.

Now grant that maybe the average intelligent quotient of a person born in Somalia or Haiti is lower than that of the United States just as a simple reality of nutritional and educational advantages that no one can ever truly control for. And grant that these two men – Benny in particular – do not have extremely deep-seated psychosexual issues that influence their political opinions. And that there’s a wide variation reported in Somalia at least – ranging from the 68 that they cited, to 84, which is just 10 points below that of Mississippi. Haiti is typically cited at 71 but Haiti also has lead levels that would trigger federal intervention (from a real EPA) if they showed up in a New Jersey suburb.

What these two betas are leaving out – besides the fact that they’re simply being racist and impotently so since there’s never going to be any meaningful, permanent policy change to address this “problem” absent a full Fourth Reich USA – is that those not-at-all concrete averages are themselves dragged down by the very fucking “problem” they’re railing against. Surviving perilous outmigration and making it into the United States win, lose, or draw in the immigration process favors those who are resourceful and smart enough to find their way in. It’s a selective, almost Darwinian filter that should right off the bat prompt one to imagine that maybe that Somalian guy was sick of living with a bunch of dumbasses for neighbors and is willing to sweep the floors of a pillow factory outside Minneapolis if it means there’s access to a public library where he can read up on why crack cocaine and spirited, faith-driven entrepreneurship are incompatible lifestyle choices.

“Israel never talked me into the war with Iran, the results of Oct 7th, added to my lifelong opinion that IRAN CAN NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON, did. I watch and read the FAKE NEWS Pundits and Polls in total disbelief. 90 percent of what they say are lies and made up stories, and the polls are rigged, much as the 2020 Presidential Election was rigged. Just like the results in Venezuela, which the media doesn’t like talking about, the results in Iran will be amazing – And if Iran’s new leaders (Regime Change!) are smart, Iran can have a great and prosperous future!” posted the Pussy of the United States of America in all his immense power to bitch and complain on Monday.

That took him like six minutes to write and post to his personal social media network, which is so much quicker and easier than months and months of hard, meaningful work and tough decisions to improve the lives of respondents to the polls -irrespective of whether or not they’re “rigged.” Any poll showing a job approval rating below 100 percent of Republican and independent respondents should be seen as a challenge to step up and actually deliver to them. Crying about “disbelief” is for soyboy libtards and losers who scream at the sky in agony after a horrific, mortifying defeat.

In related news it seems like Trump changed his mind once again about sending Jaydee packing for Pakistan, as CNN’s Alayna Treene reports the couchfucker will be wheels up Monday or Tuesday.

With possible options like “sober up, take the fucking job seriously, make some high profile arrests, show up to the office more than two days a week,” not really realistic at this point, or ever if we’re really being honest here, comically inept binge drinker FBI Director K$H Patel instead took the first page out of the old man’s damage control handbook and filed an unwinnable defamation lawsuit against the Atlantic, Meidas Touch’s Scott MacFarlane reports. The magazine on Friday described K$H as “conspicuous inebriation and unexplained absences” – and that on at least one occasion they had to bash through the door of his hotel room to wake him up after a night of partying – in an obviously deeply-reported piece that nobody in their right mind would want to sit for a discovery.

“Print it, all false, I’ll see you in court – bring your checkbook,” K$H is quoted in the account.

Technically Buddy Carter isn’t Jon Ossoff’s opponent yet but that’s kind of a smaller untruth against the overall assertion that the incumbent senator “likes” higher gas prices. What a dick, lol.

The US Supreme Court on Monday agreed to take up and – let’s be honest here, eventually rule in favor of the bad guys – a case over whether preschools that reject the children of gay couples can are still eligible for state funding, CNN reports on another sled sitting at the top of the slope.

“This National Crime Victims Week, my Administration reaffirms our unwavering support for every American who has suffered at the hands of violent criminals. Their stories strengthen my resolve to seek swift and unrelenting justice for those who harm our citizens and to uphold law and order across every corner of our Nation. Since returning to office, I have worked every day to fulfill my promise to the American people to restore public safety. I immediately took action to secure the border and end the invasion of criminal illegal aliens into our country. I deployed federal resources to secure America’s most dangerous cities to make them safe and beautiful again – because to truly live in the land of the free, you cannot live in fear in your own neighborhood. I also signed the One Big Beautiful Bill into law, which bolsters the funding, resources, and manpower of our Border Patrol and Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers to further empower them to arrest and deport illegal criminals” and blah blah blah, says convicted felon President Trump’s White House in an anodyne official statement, emphasis added on a glaring fuckup by his junior comms staffers.

It’s the “Working Families Tax Cuts Act,” you idiots. The whole goddamned GOP hasn’t been working their asses off on changing the name on TV – not to mention passing a goddamned non-binding resolution to change the name, lol – so get your act together and de-brand it properly!

These pikers also failed to mention any of the horrors the biggest crime victim of them all has suffered over the years. “National Crime Victims Week” is already a messaging failure given all the other self-inflicted distractions preventing an orderly exercise of presidential power to create a news cycle singularly painting Dems as the party of crime, so why not at least get some fan service in.

All that said, they did manage to insultingly lie about ICE and CBP making cities safer. That counts.

As mentioned briefly in the Sunday live blog feed but this needs its own report to fully appreciate the grievous self-sabotage by convicted felon President Trump’s regime. Justice Department sources tell NBC News that actual federal prosecutor Maria Medetis Long has been removed from the “Grand Conspiracy” case in Fort Pierce, Florida and well be replaced with 81 year-old Reagan-era DC US Attorney Joe DiGenova who, among other batshittery, in October 2019 called the first impeachment case against Trump “regicide” and the whistleblowers “suicide bombers.”

The “Grand Conspiracy” of course refers to the Obama indictment fantasy. Convoluted circlejerk story short, leading masturbators in the upper echelons of the MAGA legal community in January reportedly got a grand jury empaneled in the federal court bailiwick in which you already know disgraced Judge Aileen Cannon is the sole jurist. The big 5D checkmate move is this: FBI raided Trump in 2022 as the direct result of a RICO conspiracy that began in 2016 and Barack Obama was the ringleader, and since that conspiracy is still ongoing plus the jurisdictional nexus to Cannon’s turf, there are no statute of limitations or Sixth Amendment issues. All of that assumes that an 81 year-old man – who in November 2020 called for Chris Krebs, then the top federal cybersecurity official, to be “drawn and quartered” for publicly stating that Trump lost to Joe Biden in a free and fair election unmolested by foreign hacking operations – is up to the job of using the 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid as the stepping stone to indict former CIA Director John Brennan for crimes allegedly committed before and after the 2016 election. And then presumably Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Even with a sick, fascist, disgrace to her profession like Cannon holding his hand the entire time.

As the Jewish state, Israel cherishes and upholds the Jewish values of tolerance and mutual respect between Jews and worshippers of all faiths. All religions flourish in our land and we view members of all faiths as equals in building our society and region.

Yesterday, like the…

— Benjamin Netanyahu – בנימין נתניהו (@netanyahu) April 20, 2026

“Yesterday, like the overwhelming majority of Israelis, I was stunned and saddened to learn that an IDF soldier damaged a Catholic religious icon in southern Lebanon. I condemn the act in the strongest terms. Military authorities are conducting a criminal probe of the matter and will take appropriately harsh disciplinary action against the offender. While Christians are slaughtered in Syria and Lebanon by Muslims, the Christian population in Israel thrives unlike elsewhere in the Middle East. Israel is the only country in the region that the Christian population and standard of living is growing. Israel is the only place in the Middle East that adheres to freedom of worship for all. We express regret for any hurt this has caused to believers in Lebanon and around the world,” the Israeli dictator continued, emphasis added on the “Catholic religious icon” part of his self-serving platitude.

The “Catholic religious icon” was Jesus. Earlier the IDF admitted that the footage of a soldier knocking the statue of Jesus off the crucifix and smashing it in the face with a fire axe was genuine and not AI-generated as surely plenty of Zionist dickheads had claimed. It’s not clear why Netanyahu won’t just fucking say it was Jesus’s image defaced but then again “Bibi” is a piece of shit who will hopefully die in a prison cell at the Hague. If this largely isolated act of iconoclasm had been the worst thing the IDF did so far this decade then maybe his morally relativistic bullshit would be worth more time and space rather than just another snapshot to add to his awful record.

Netanyahu needs to be removed from power. That’s the real take here. The Jesus statue can be replaced. All the innocent lives ruined and outright annihilated in service of his power cannot.

“Employees of the Alaska Department of Fish and Game (ADFG) responded to the location of a reported bear attack Thurs, April 16, in Anchorage on Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson (JBER). Two soldiers sustained injuries in the attack during a land navigation training event on JBER. They reported having bear spray with them to responding personnel. No bears were encountered at the site by first responders or ADFG staff during the subsequent investigation. The attack occurred in a remote area of JBER, with limited access, on the west side of the Glenn Highway.”

“JBER has closed the area near the attack for all recreational activity. Based on the scene investigation and information from other responding agencies, this appears to be a defensive attack by a bear recently emerged from a den. Initial reports identified the involved animal as a brown bear; however, samples collected during the initial investigation will be processed with the goal of positively identifying species and gender of the animal involved. DNA analysis of collected samples will be performed by the ADFG Gene Conservation Lab in Anchorage, and samples from the attack will be analyzed to determine if they match any materials collected in other research or management activities,” wrote the Alaska Department of Fish and Game in a Friday press release.

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has yet to announce whether Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr will lead a special investigative committee aimed at running the bear over with a Humvee, cutting off its penis, and then barbecuing the rest of its remains.