“I am honored to have the President’s endorsement and my intention is to earn and win this nomination… Over the past year, I have traveled across the country, talking with Americans about the clear choice in this momentous election. And that is what I will continue to do in the days and weeks ahead. I will do everything in my power to unite the Democratic Party – and unite our nation – to defeat Donald Trump and his extreme Project 2025 agenda,” says Vice President Kamala Harris in a brief statement confirming she’s running (we didn’t actually know where she stood on that yet, lol).

“Crooked Joe just got knocked out, so now I’ll have to do it a FOURTH TIME!!!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Sunday. If we had to guess the “FOURTH TIME” should have been “THIRD TIME” because he thinks he won the 2020 election and he’s so rattled and drugged up to his eyeballs that he can’t even count properly. Going to call it now that he fucks off from debating Harris in September and the campaign’s excuse is that he agreed to face Biden, not her.

No major potential Democratic candidates like Gavin Newsom or Gretchen Whitmer are preparing to challenge Vice President Kamala Harris at the DNC next month, CBS News reports.

Bill and Hillary Clinton quickly endorsed Harris as have some key Congressional Dems.

Harris herself hasn’t released any statement yet, but hopefully we’ll get a live news conference or address or something to set the tone for Monday’s news coverage of her debut as heir apparent.

And that’s all we have to fit into three brief items just as an excuse to run that deadline.

Brainwormed independent candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr on Sunday announced he will be holding a press conference at 5 PM EDT from the Kennedy Compound in Hyannisport on Cape Cod.

What sticks out is that he’s being allowed to use “Camelot” for the press conference. Like we’re not trying to get ahead of ourselves here but if it means he’s reconciled with his family then what does it mean for his campaign? Is this the end of the line for this whole stupid shitshow?

“Crooked Joe Biden was not fit to run for President, and is certainly not fit to serve – And never was! He only attained the position of President by lies, Fake News, and not leaving his Basement” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Sunday in response to his campaign just losing the elderly opponent they prepared to run against for three fucking years, now facing a 59 year-old Black female former prosecutor who made both of his attorneys general shit their pants on live TV.

My fellow Democrats, I have decided not to accept the nomination and to focus all my energies on my duties as President for the remainder of my term. My very first decision as the party nominee in 2020 was to pick Kamala Harris as my Vice President. And it’s been the best… pic.twitter.com/x8DnvuImJV

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) July 21, 2024

Continued after the cutoff: “Today I want to offer my full support and endorsement for Kamala to be the nominee of our party this year. Democrats — it’s time to come together and beat Trump. Let’s do this.” Not sure if this was some kind of purposeful suspense or what the hell just happened, but here it is a half hour later: Joe Biden officially endorsed Kamala Harris to be his successor.

It’s National Zero’s official editorial position that the whole “blitz primary” fantasy is complete bullshit and Biden should take a few weeks for a farewell tour before resigning and allowing to go into November as the incumbent 47th President of the United States running for a full term.

President Joe Biden on Sunday announced he was abruptly ending his reelection effort, leaving questions about his successor candidate unanswered, while thanking Vice President Kamala Harris for being “an extraordinary partner in all this work,” and that he “will speak to the Nation later this week in more detail about my decision.” Needless to say this is a big fucking deal. More to come.

The above headline is the entirety of the content of convicted felon former President Trump’s 11:58 AM EDT Sunday Truth Social post, followed by another at 12:21 PM EDT that said “MAGA – MAKE AGRICULTURE GREAT AGAIN,” suggesting the fat bastard was trying to come up with backronyms for his infamous metonym for his movement and all the hatred and violence that comes with it.

The agriculture one’s alright while the gas one is more than a little forced. Obviously it should say “MAKE GAS AFFORDABLE AGAIN” but, notwithstanding the fact that a gallon of gas is now in 2024 not significantly more expensive than it was pre-COVID 19 pandemic after spiking in 2022 into early 2023, then that spells “MGAA.” This way it looks like he’s commanding refiners – a pretty right-leaning industry, to say the least – to simply start making their blends of gasoline more affordable.

Anyway it seems as though the fat bastard already gave up on trying to come up with other words to cram into a new backronym for “MAGA.” The hard truth is it’s actually pretty difficult. The best liberal memesters were ever able to come up with were “My Attorney Got Arrested” and “Mueller Ain’t Going Away,” with “best” doing a lot of work there. They were pretty fucking cringey even when they were still fresh six years ago, to be honest. We almost certainly saw something along the lines of “Mango-Mussolini Ain’t Getting Acquitted” during the NYC trial. That was alright. Definitely an improvement over the old ones if far short of knock your socks off clever and witty.

What’s left for Trump after “agriculture” though? If we’re talking strictly about policies that he pretends to be stronger on than Democrats then we’re just as lost as he is here.

“I’ve said that the Democrats would stop at absolutely nothing [lists off grievances…] and I’ve said on this show before I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried something even worse, alluding to exactly what happened just over a week ago. And I was right,” Eric Trump on Sunday linked both impeachments and criminal indictments against Trump with the failed assassination attempt.

The New York Times on Sunday printed a guest essay by West Wing and The Newsroom creator Aaron Sorkin, titled “How I Would Script This Moment for Biden and the Democrats.”

And yeah, that’s all we have to add here. Not going to get into the content, or even read it. We’re simply reporting the headline of what Sorkin wrote and the Times decided to print. That’ll do.

Asked why he’s supporting efforts to fuck everything up legally for the Democratic ticket if Joe Biden is replaced after the nomination if he was also against disqualifying Trump for inciting an insurrection against the government, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Sunday told CNN’s Jake Tapper they’re two completely different things and also Joe Biden is a danger to national security.

Useless lame duck “independent” West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin on Sunday told CNN’s Jake Tapper that President Joe Biden should step aside. Not sure if it even counts that he said it.

The bad news in a new Gallup national survey is that 55 percent of respondents favor reducing what’s listed generically as “immigration,” up from 41 percent just a year ago, driven by sagging support for increasing or at least maintaining current inflows. The problem with the question is that it doesn’t differentiate between legal immigration – an expensive, byzantine fucking mess of a system that’s decades overdue for reform, illegal immigration – as in simply jumping the border or overstaying a tourist visa, or the grey area of asylum claims – plenty of them no doubt legitimate, but a system often exploited by people who would’ve otherwise just jumped the border.

And the actual issue at hand when it comes to the Fox News catch-all of “the border,” almost certainly what’s been metastasizing into the finding of that question, something that white nationalist propagandists are going to exploit as “a massive shift against ALL forms of immigration.”

Naturally they’ll skip over the good news in the poll: 81 percent support “Allowing immigrants who were brought to the US illegally as children the chance to become US citizens if they meet certain requirements over a period of time,” and 70 percent supporting “Allowing immigrants living in the US illegally the chance to become US citizens if they meet certain requirements over a period of time,” both of which are total non-starters with Republican politicians dependent on the votes of xenophobic losers. They would never get elected again if they alienated those opposed to both forms of amnesty – no matter how ambiguous the “certain requirements” part is worded.

At least 15 people are dead in eastern Texas in the two weeks since Hurricane Beryl hit and left millions without electricity, much of that toll – on top of eight killed during the storm itself – believed to be heat-related due to the ongoing power outages and expected to climb once the data can be collected and analyzed by the Department of State Health Services, the Associated Press reports.

Convicted felon former President Trump and eyeliner-wearing Ohio Senator JD Vance will on Saturday hold their first joint rally in Michigan. Vance apparently already took the stage and said some shit to make sure that he continues to have the Kremlin’s endorsement on the ticket.

Demoted former Navy physician and current MAGA Congressman Ronny Johnson Jackson on Saturday confirmed in a letter that, based on his examination of convicted felon former President Trump, that a bullet – rather than shards of glass from a teleprompter that was hit – struck the fat bastard’s ear during the assassination attempt at the MAGA rally in Pennsylvania last Saturday.

A “well-known Democratic operative” anonymously tells CNN that he/she is beyond ready to put Vice President Kamala Harris at the top of the Dem ticket, saying “Fuck it, I’m coconut pilled, I just want this to stop,” referring to Harris’s punchline about something falling out of a coconut tree.

My statement on why I believe President Joe Biden should pass the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris. pic.twitter.com/RZUzVKCCcj

— Mark Takano (@MarkTakano) July 20, 2024

Meanwhile California Congressman Mark Takano became the umpthirtieth House Dem to call on President Joe Biden to step aside, but as far as we know he’s the first one to explicitly say Harris should take over. Senator Liz Warren meanwhile did not directly call on Biden to throw in the towel, but instead offered a contingent endorsement for Harris, telling MSNBC “If President Biden decides to step back, we have Vice President Kamala Harris, who is ready to step up to unite the party.”

“We are under attack from Crooked Joe Biden, the WORST PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE United States, and a Weak and Pathetic man who uses the ‘Justice’ Department to harass and intimidate his Political Opponents because he is in no way capable of winning by himself.”

“He has created a horrible precedent for the future. Democrat appointed Judges and Prosecutors, together with local DA’s and Attorney Generals, have played the game with them. Based on the opinion of legal scholars and experts, they had no good case out of the many against me, but of all the cases, their best shot was the documents case, a complete HOAX, in Florida. They illegally RAIDED MY HOUSE, Mar-a-Lago, in that one. Well, that case was just THROWN OUT IN FULL IN THAT IT WAS UNCONSTITUTIONAL. THE OTHERS ARE ON WEAK GROUNDS, including those where we have Crooked Judges and Prosecutors. It is all a Political Witch Hunt, and Biden should insist that EVERYTHING NOW BE DROPPED. RUN A FAIR AND OPEN CAMPAIGN!!!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Saturday, just under a week after a failed assassination attempt that we were told was the direct result of rhetoric like saying the country is “under attack” from the fat fuck.

The demented 45th President also congratulated Peter Navarro, his “Harvard educated and brilliant expert on trade, for having endured a totally unfair and unnecessary 4 month stay IN JAIL. VERY UNFAIR! He was released on Wednesday and went directly to Milwaukee where he Spoke about his trials and tribulations at the Republican Convention. He was given a rousing reception, and looked better than he did when Biden put him in – But Biden looks far worse (interesting, isn’t it?)!”

Zambian President Hakinde Hichilema on Thursday fired every member of the country’s Anti-Corruption Commission (ACC) after finding credible evidence that they engaged in you guessed it.

More specifically, the BBC reports the members were accused of taking kickbacks from corrupt politicians in exchange for commission investigators clearing them of accusations. The house cleaning comes days after the ACC’s chief Thom Shamakamba resigned amid accusations of corruption against him and Solicitor General Marshal Muchende over some kickback scam.

Then there’s now-former Finance Minister Stanley Kakubo getting caught on tape accepting bribes from some Chinese Communist scumbags back in December. And former First Lady Esther Lungu, her daughter Chiyeso Katete, and another family member getting arrested on charges of possession of stolen property in May. And Old Man Lungu himself effectively placed under house arrest for basically threatening a coup. It’s like you could even call Zambian capital Lusaka a “swamp.”

• I’m voting Democrat straight down the ticket in November and I am encouraging others to do the same because (1) the candidates are better, (2) they reflect my views and (3) they’ll make sure we get to vote again.  Oh, yeah, and no matter who is at the top of the Democratic ticket, they won’t be an adjudicated rapist.
• Trump-Vance, a made-for-TV pairing of five-letter names that fit nicely on a campaign sign.  That’s probably as much consideration as went into that decision.  Programming over policy.
• To gain financial support nowadays, Republicans must practice Theilism, the new Scientology, before MAGA or Christianity.
• Nothing personifies the GOP more than drunken, stumbling Rudy Giuliani, a drunk, corrupt, bankrupt old white man attempting to avoid responsibility for any- and everything.  
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXXXII”