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Fox News reports there’s a way Emhoff’s affair could help Trump

As we’ve said repeatedly, we’re really trying to be circumspect here, not counting chickens before they hatch, managing expectations, staying positive but sober and realistic, so on and so forth.

That’s getting increasingly difficult every day of constantly seeing this kind of shit, even accounting for the fact that Fox News’s web operation is a cheap content mill constantly firing on all cylinders to print out complete garbage, no doubt some of an AI recomposing other sites’ articles.

This isn’t one of them. Fox News actually contacted “PR maven Juda Engelmayer,” for an “expert opinion” to use to slap together this piece of wishcasting with the terribly worded headline.

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Orange Felon announces desperate bid to regain media attention

Plainly frustrated over the media focus on Vice President Kamala Harris and his own running mate JD Vance’s feckless efforts to differentiate himself by constantly getting in front of cameras to lousy performances over the last few days, convicted felon former President Trump on Thursday announced in a Truth Social post he would be holding a 2 PM press conference at Mar-a-Lago.

Hard to see that going especially well for him, unless it’s restricted to “reporters” from Fox News, Newsmax, RSBN, et cetera, which it very well could be. Even then he could still do damage.

Before that he posted “Kamala refuses to do interviews because her team realizes she is unable to answer questions, much like Biden was not able to answer questions, but for different reasons. He is just plain ‘shot,’ and she is just plain ‘Incompetent.’ [blah blah blah, same bullshit as usual] If she is Elected, our County, and indeed the World, will suffer a 1929 Style Great Depression. It will be the Worst in history and AMERICA WILL BE DESTROYED!” Notice how nobody outside the MAGAverse have been really bitching about Harris not doing a press conference since her campaign launch.

Then later the fat bastard posted “I will expose Kamala during the Debate the same way I exposed Crooked Joe, Hillary, and everyone else during Debates – Only I think Kamala will be easier!” Of course he was non-specific about which debate he thinks is happening and this is not certain to mean that he will in fact show up to the one scheduled for September 10th on ABC News.

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State of emergency declared over Ukrainian incursion into Russia

Aleksei Smirnov, acting governor of Russia Kursk region on Wednesday declared a state of emergency as Ukrainian forces surged across the border and seized control of a major natural gas junction in the town of Sudzha, about five miles inside the Russian Federation, CNN reports.

Dictator Vladimir Putin called the offensive a “large-scale provocation,” saying Kyiv’s troops are conducting “indiscriminate shooting from various types of weapons, including missiles, at civilian buildings, residential buildings, and ambulances,” which sounds like bullshit from a wounded ego.

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Harris 47 – Trump 41 among likely voters: Marquette national poll

A new national survey of likely voters by Marquette University School of Law finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 53 to 47 percent in a head-to-head, and 47 to 41 percent in a full field including Libertarian Chase Oliver and Russian assets Robert F Kennedy Jr, Cornhole Cornel West, and Jill Stein. It’s a marked improvement for Harris over Biden, as Trump 44 to 41 percent among LVs in the full field in Marquette’s last national survey back in May.

Of course this swing is likely to all simply be response bias – the survey was conducted between July 24th and August 1st – with Dem voters who were never going to not show up for Biden more energized now and thus more likely to actually complete a survey, just as Trump’s earlier leads were a product of MAGA scumbags more excited about the momentum the fat bastard had until Joe Biden threw in the towel. That said, the response bias and the lead flip itself is a directional indicator that for now, psychologically, the momentum is unquestionably with Harris, regardless of whether you think these numbers are actually “real” and predictive of what the result would look like.

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Manhunt on for Spanish regional separatist leader in Barcelona

Cops in Barcelona are searching for Catalan separatist leader Carles Puigdemont after the wanted fugitive abruptly returned from exile to make a public announcement that his movement is “still here” and “Holding a referendum is not and will never be a crime,” the BBC reports.

Puigdemont, leader of the Catalan nationalist Junts per Catalunya party, had been hiding in Brussels for the last seven years after he fled charges over a failed 2017 independence referendum for the eastern region, encompassing 16 percent of the country’s population, about 7 percent of its total area, and kicked in 20 percent of national GDP last year. The sudden reappearance in Barcelona on Thursday is seen as a bid to disrupt the investiture of Socialist former Spanish health minister Salvador Illa as the new Catalan president, set for this afternoon local time. Illa is not on team rebel, and, per the BBC, it appears Pudgy’s goal is to cast the frenemy pro-independence party Catalan Republican Left (ERC), as collaborators with Madrid because of their agreement to support Illa’s investiture. That may not end up working out as cops have set up roadblocks on every avenue leading out of Barcelona, aimed at preventing Pudgy from escaping to the countryside.

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They still really want Biden back

Trump social media douchebag Dan Scavino is only “hearing” this from his demented orange boss, who posted the same thing on Tuesday, fantasizing about Old Joe making a comeback, somehow.

In related news, the Washington Post reports that the fat bastard “has grown increasingly upset about Harris’s surging poll numbers and media coverage since replacing Biden on the ticket, complaining relentlessly and asking friends about how his campaign is performing,” and recently told a friend that “It’s unfair that I beat him and now I have to beat her, too.”

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European Swifties disappointed after shows canceled due to threat

The Islamic State may have finally picked a fight it cannot win.  After two Austrian citizens linked to the terrorist group were arrested for allegedly planning an attack on one of her concerts, Taylor Swift’s tour producers canceled three shows the global star was scheduled to perform in Vienna, CNN reports.

The two men had taken “concrete preparatory measures” towards a plan to attack Ernst Happel Stadium later this week where Swift scheduled shows on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.  Police found explosives at the home of one of the men, a 19-year-old Austrian they say was radicalized on the internet.

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Republican former governor abandons adopted Ethiopian son

Long before we knew about Matt Gaetz’s “adopted son” Nestor or Preacher Mike Johnson’s adopted son/smut monitor Michael or Harlon Crow’s ward Clarence Thomas, one of the earliest Republicans to tout adopting a child of a different race was former Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin, who brought home four children aged 2 to 10 from Ethiopia in 2012 to join his five other kids.

Reportedly, Bevin adopted from overseas because local adoption agencies wouldn’t place children with a family that already had so many kids; Bevin made overhauling the state adoption agency a priority of his term in office.  His reelection bid failed, and he lost the 2019 race to Democrat and VP short-lister Andy Beshear.

Now, one of the Ethiopian kids Bevin adopted alleges Bevin abandoned him in Jamaica, according to the Independent.  The child, referred to pseudonymously in the story to protect his identity, claimed Bevin shipped him to a boarding school in Florida after the child had trouble in school, and then moved him to an academy in Jamaica that shuttered this past spring after a court found evidence of abuse.

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Laura Ingraham a big fan of Milwaukee, MN

“And these are just facts, Mary Katherine Ham,” the Nurse Ratched of MAGA World Laura Ingraham says, weirdly using her guest’s complete name.  “If you know Minnesota, and I know it well, especially Milwaukee, it’s changed.”

Yes, Laura, it has changed.  It’s changed so much that in the real world, Milwaukee is in Wisconsin.

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Pelosi won’t say she asked Biden to step down from the nomination, but she wanted “a better campaign” to help Democrats keep House

Saying that her “goal in life was that that man would never set foot in the White House again,” Nancy Pelosi said she saw two key flaws with the Biden reelection campaign that pushed her to urge Joe Biden to consider retirement:  Biden wasn’t performing well as a candidate, nor was the campaign operation.

According to the Washington Post, Pelosi said she wasn’t asking for Biden to step aside at first, but felt the trajectory wasn’t good.  “Now I was really asking for a better campaign. We did not have a campaign that was on the path to victory. Members knew that in their districts,” Pelosi said.  Pelosi declined to answer when asked if she directly asked Biden to step aside.  The two have not spoken since Biden announced his retirement and endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris.

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Fat Hitler flew on plane with Project 2025 mastermind

Big shocker from the Washington Post: convicted felon former President Trump in 2022 took a private jet flight with Project 2025 architect Kevin Roberts, who the fat fuck falsely claimed to not know and had nothing to do with him repeatedly over the last few months… Hell, a heads up about this reporting this might have been what prompted Roberts to postpone his book’s street date.

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Greasy lawyer who worked Ken Paxton’s defense in impeachment trial now repping family of Titan submersible implosion victim

Greasy scumbag lawyer Tony Buzbee, famous for his greasy presence at scumbag Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s impeachment trial, is now representing the family of French explorer Paul Henri-Nargeolet in a wrongful death lawsuit against whatever’s left of undersea tour company OceanGate after a not very funny thing happened on the way to the Titanic last year.

“The lawsuit alleges serious issues with the Titan submersible. I think it is telling that even though the Univ of Washington and Boeing had key roles in the design of previous but similar versions of the Titan, both have recently disclaimed any involvement at all in the sub model that imploded. We are hopeful that through this lawsuit we can get answers for the family as to exactly how this happened, who all were involved, and how those involved could allow this to happen,” said Buzbee.

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We’re now entering the “polls are fake” stage from Team MAGA

We suppose we empathize with Jesse Watters here. Hell, we still try not to take polls all that seriously, save for a handful of trustworthy-ish outfits. Even then they still regularly put out wacky numbers in the crosstabs – like this SurveyUSA sample with Trump leading by 4 among respondents aged 18 to 34, even as Harris is +3 overall. It was especially cunty how late last year they all suddenly started shifting toward Trump for a reason we still have not been able to discern.

But none of that means we can’t enjoy the coping from this dickweed who does in fact take them seriously, or at least did until nine months of fondling himself over the numbers was so rudely interrupted by the Dems replacing Joe Biden with a candidate that has some actual, real momentum.

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Biden not confident “bloodbath” can be avoided if Trump loses

Sitting down for his first network interview since dropping out of the 2024 race, President Joe Biden tells CBS News’s Robert Costa that he’s not confident convicted felon former President Trump won’t unleash a wave of violence from his fanatical death cult if he loses the election.

“If Trump loses, I’m not confident at all. He means what he says. We don’t take him seriously. He means it, all the stuff about, ‘If we lose, there’ll be a bloodbath, it’ll have to be a stolen election.’ Look what they’re trying to do now in the local election districts where people count the votes or putting people in place in states that they’re going to count the votes, right?” Biden told Costa of the quiet infiltration of swing state clerks’ offices. The full interview will air on Sunday morning.

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Orange God Emperor praised Walz response to Floyd riots

In audio obtained by ABC News of a June 1st, 2020 call to governors in the turbulent days after George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis, demented autocrat then-President Trump praised Minnesota Governor Tim Walz’s response to the unrest in the state, saying “I know Gov Walz is on the phone, and we spoke, and I fully agree with the way he handled it the last couple of days,” calling Walz an “excellent guy… I was very happy with the last couple of days, Tim. You called up big numbers and the big numbers knocked them out so fast it was like bowling pins.”

This pretty obviously undercuts the current attempts to use Walz’s response as a campaign issue this year, but they’re still going to try. Asked for comment, Trump spokesworm Karoline Leavitt told ABC in a statement that “Walz allowed Minneapolis to burn for days, despite President Trump’s offer to deploy soldiers and cries for help from the liberal Mayor of Minneapolis. In this daily briefing phone call with Governors on June 1, days after the riots began, President Trump acknowledged Gov Walz for FINALLY taking action to deploy the National Guard to end the violence in the city.”

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Couch fucking joke now officially in Trump campaign statement

“It has been 17 days since Kamala Harris replaced her mentor Crooked Joe Biden and she has refused to engage with the press or participate in interviews. It sounds like the Kamala-Walz campaign is scared of talking about their liberal records or policies, instead talking about non-sensical things like couches and coconuts. We’re not going to talk about couches or coconuts or whatever weird fetish KamalaHQ is into. When we have something to say, we’ll say loud and clear. If Kamala is a coward, we’ll call her a coward. If Tim Walz is a liar, we’ll call him a liar,” says large-headed Trump campaign spokesman Steven Cheung in a typically angry statement.

Well there you have it. They’ve officially addressed the couch meme in the public record. The Rubicon has been crossed and the die is cast as they say. There’s no un-pushin this cushion.

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Sabato’s Crystal Ball moves Georgia back to toss-up

“In the few weeks that Vice President Kamala Harris has emerged as Democrats’ standard bearer, she has ‘reset’ the electoral map to some degree, as she has polled better than President Biden was performing before he ended his campaign. We are upgrading Democrats’ chances in Minnesota, the home state of now-vice presidential candidate Gov Tim Walz (D), as well as in similarly blue New Hampshire. As Harris has performed better against Donald Trump in the Sun Belt than Biden, we are moving Georgia back into the Toss-up category,” writes election UVA egghead Larry Sabato.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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