Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey on Wednesday sort of followed through on his moronic plan to sue New York State at the Supreme Court for prosecuting his Orange Allah, but rather than the vague “unconstitutional lawfare” bullshit he originally promised it’s a “First Amendment” complaint because the Empire State’s “illicit prosecution, gag order, and sentencing,” allegedly interfered with Missourians’ ability to make a fully informed decision in the race, Fox News reports.

“Right now, Missouri has a huge problem with New York. Instead of letting presidential candidates campaign on their own merit, radical progressives in New York are trying to rig the 2024 election by waging a direct attack on our democratic process. I will not sit idly by while Soros-backed prosecutors hold Missouri voters hostage in this presidential election. I am filing suit to ensure every Missourian can exercise their right to hear from and vote for their preferred presidential candidate.”

After not appearing during her father’s weeks-long trial for his election interference hush money conspiracy relating to the sexual interlude he had with a blonde porn star while also having an affair with a nude model as her dad’s third wife cared for her newborn half-brother, Ivanka Trump performatively said her father’s felony convictions were “painful,” the Daily Beast reports.

“It’s a pretty dark world. There’s a lot of darkness, a lot of negativity, and it’s just really at odds with what feels good for me as a human being. And, you know, it’s a really rough business. So for me and my family, it feels right to not participate,” she said displaying the depth of ethereal insight only a true multigenerational millionaire heiress can fake.

“On a human level, it’s my father and I love him very much, so it’s painful to experience,” she said in an effort to stay in the will. “But ultimately, I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Barack Obama has voiced support for beleaguered incumbent President Joe Biden after Biden’s poor debate performance last Thursday, the Washington Post reports, saying words of support for Biden at a Democratic fundraiser on Friday.  Obama phoned Biden after the debate, offering himself as a sounding board and personal advisor, which makes sense given only four other non-(convicted)-felons know what it’s like to serve as President.

To those close to him, Obama noted that Biden’s reelection effort was damaged by the debate showing, telling allies that Biden’s already tough slog to reelection got tougher because of how feeble and confused Biden appeared.  But overall, Obama was understanding given he was widely lambasted for his first debate performance during his 2012 reelection campaign against Mitt Romney.

A cargo ship the same size as the MS Dali, the ship that destroyed the Key Bridge, leaving the Port of Baltimore on Monday lost electrical power and was adrift briefly, but was able to regain control and return to port without incident, the Baltimore Sun reports.

The 965-foot Liberia-flagged cargo ship Bellavia underwent repairs and eleven hours later departed the port without incident.  Late last week, the Biden Administration presented a $3.1 billion plan to rebuild the bridge as well as repair or replace other major highways across the country.

For a Party that wants to allow 13-year-olds to work in meat processing plants, Republicans in Florida are trying their damnest to put a 19-year-old woman on government assistance by refusing to allow her to simply do her job and make a living, so she’s suing Florida’s attorney general and two local prosecutors who went after her employer.

According to ABC News, the owner of Cafe Risque in Gainesville has joined the lawsuit filed by its former employee, Serenity Michelle Bushey, who claims the new state law unfairly restricts her First Amendment freedom of speech and the Fourteenth Amendment equal protection rights after the cafe was forced to fire her for being under 21-years-old.

Florida’s new law prevents anyone under the age of 21 from being in a strip club, but like eight of her other former co-workers, Bushey is between 18 and 21.  “As with similar performers around the state, Bushey earned her living through her art while providing entertainment for the benefit and enjoyment of her audience,” the lawsuit said. “Plaintiffs have a clear legal right to engage in protected speech of this nature.”

Recently disbarred hair dye dispenser Rudy Giuliani will entertain dozens of people now that he’s been hired to be a host on stuffed foam salesman Mike Lindell’s Frank Speech network which is somehow holding on despite multi-million-dollar decisions against its owner, whose pillow company had a massive sell-off recently.

Per Newsweek, Lindell hired Giuliani after the former Trump lawyer’s radio program on New York’s WABC was canceled in May.  It’s unclear if Lindell will pay Giuliani or send his paycheck directly to his employee’s creditors after Giuliani started to liquidate his assets to pay tens of millions of dollars in legal judgments.

Succinctly addressing questions about the Democratic ticket to bed, Vice President Kamala Harris pushed aside a call from Texas Democratic Congressman Lloyd Doggett for Joe Biden to decline the Party’s nomination, CBS News reports.

“Look, Joe Biden is our nominee. We beat Trump once, and we’re going to beat him again, period,” she said in an interview with the network, adding that she is “proud to be Joe Biden’s running mate.”

The Mississippi journalist who uncovered how Republican Governor Phil Bryant used welfare money to enrich his friends, benefactors and cronies like former NFL quarterback Brett Favre is now preparing for an extended stay in jail for refusing to divulge her sources during a defamation suit the governor filed, NBC News reports.

Anna Wolfe uncovered tens of millions of dollars in questionable or illegal payments directed by Bryant, initially looking into why Mississippi rejects 90% of welfare applicants but still collected and distributed the money.  Bryant brought the suit against Wolfe’s employer, Mississippi Today, saying he was never charged in the scandal and therefore the characterization of his actions as criminal was defamatory.   “I didn’t sue them because they exposed $77 million worth of misspending. He applauds them for doing that,” Bryant’s lawyer said. “The suit is about defamation.”

With Joe Biden bringing in $125 million for his presidential campaign in June, Donald Trump once again came in second to the incumbent, this time in the June fundraising race where Trump raised just over $110 million in the month, Politico reports.

Trump’s haul was less than his May results when he raised $141 million, including a single $50 million donation to his affiliated Super PAC from billionaire Timothy Mellon.  Trump has

Roughly one-third of Biden’s fundraising–$38 million–came in after Thursday’s debate; Trump reportedly raised $33 million after the debate.  Biden reportedly has $240 million cash on hand versus a reported $285 million for Trump’s campaign.  According to the Biden campaign, 95% of donations were less than $200 and 864,000 of the donors were giving to the campaign for the first time.

With a photo apparently depicting him chowing down on a rotisserie canine, independent presidential candidate and parasite-host Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. attempts to explain why he texted a friend traveling in Korea the photo in 2010 and joked that the traveler may enjoy a restaurant that serves dog.  (Reported, veterinarians confirmed the carcass in the photo is that of a dog based on the rib cage structure.)

With questions lingering about his poor debate performance, President Joe Biden will have a one-on-one interview with ABC News journalist George Stephanopoulos that will air Sunday morning, the White House announced, according to CNN.  Clips of the interview will be released Friday for ABC’s evening news broadcast.

It will be the fourth interview Biden has given since the beginning of May, and it will be his first unscripted appearance since last Thursday’s debate, when Biden appeared confused and frequently mumbled.  In appearances since, Biden has spoken clearly and distinctly was he mainly kept to scripted words on teleprompters.

“A woman with gray hair, wearing a brown blazer and black top, sits on a wooden bench in a garden with lush greenery and flowers in the background, embodying the essence of a new beginning. President Biden deserves our respect, our compassion, and our gratitude. The debate last week, however, made clear that the time is now for another Democratic candidate to take his place on the November ballot. The nominating process for the Democratic Party needs to begin again. We need to recalibrate, and we need to do so quickly. Over the next two months we need to do what we should have been doing over the last year and a half: engaging in a robust conversation about this country and how we’re going to beat Donald Trump in November. Today I throw my hat in the ring.”

“We need to have an exciting campaign and an open convention in August. It is imperative that the new process not be manipulated by party and media elites. The search for a new candidate must be not directed by behind-the-scenes players, but rather must be a genuinely democratic process. All news outlets owe it to the public to fairly cover all FEC registered, qualified candidates going forward,” says a statement from New Age weirdo Marianne Williamson. We lost track of whether she had officially re-suspended her campaign after unsuspending it for God knows why in February.

And the copypasta reading “Play Video about A woman with gray hair, wearing a brown blazer and black top, sits on a wooden bench in a garden with lush greenery and flowers in the background, embodying the essence of a new beginning” at the top was intentionally left in because that’s what ended up in our clipboard after we selected the first few paragraphs of her statement in text under a video fitting that meta-description, lol. Why the fuck doesn’t it just say “Marianne Williamson announces she’s running for the Democratic presidential nomination at the DNC in Chicago”?

Media floated 25th Amendment for Trump hundreds of times while in office, viral video shows https://t.co/V19xguNU7q

— Fox News (@FoxNews) July 2, 2024

The New York State Bar Association on Tuesday tossed loudmouth drunken slob Rudy Giuliani from their ranks, a disgraceful end to the once admired and feared federal prosecutor.

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s office on Tuesday informed Judge Juan Merchan they do not oppose pushing back convicted felon former President Trump’s sentencing date by two weeks to allow Merchan to consider Donald’s stupid motion to overturn the verdict following the Supreme Court’s irrelevant and fascistic decision in the DC coup attempt case.

A new survey by right-leaning pollster Tipp Insights sampled the day before, of, and after President Joe Biden’s train wreck of a debate performance against convicted felon former President Trump finds Biden leading the Orange God Emperor 43 to 41 percent in a head-to-head and by a slimmer 40 to 39 percent when Brainwormed sexual abuser Robert F Kennedy Jr and the other Russian assets Jill Stein and Cornel West are added to the mix. The Libertarian guy was not included.

The pollster’s write-up of the findings go through the already tedious narrative about Dems wanting to replace Biden as the nominee and all that shit but for some reason does not find room to simply carve out a sub-sample of the responses recorded on Friday after the debate when its impact on Biden’s support would’ve been the most raw. Yet TIPP Issues and Insights editor Terry Jones, who would absolutely have access to that data and be able to split out the third day, did not. Which kind of leads us to suspect he’s either deliberately omitting it because even with the pro-MAGA response bias in a lot of these national polls TIPP did not see a meaningful difference between before and after the debate, or he just an incompetent asshole who sucks at polling. Or some of both.

Alcoholic shitbrain former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani this week agreed to allow a bankruptcy trustee to liquidate his assets and sell them off to pay his creditors, the Wall Street Journal reports.

In a very lengthy piece about Brainwormed conspiracy freak independent candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr’s campaign to get convicted felon former President Trump returned to power, Vanity Fair’s Joe Hagan excerpts from the 1998 diary entries by then-23 year-old Eliza Cooney, who at the time was working as the live-in babysitter to both Bobby Jr and then-second wife Mary Richardson’s four kids and as an assistant at Bobby’s environmental law clinic during office hours.

And yeah, you already knew where this was going. “From everything everybody says about the Kennedys + their Babysitters, they had me worried. Like I have to watch out, be careful. And the other night in the kitchen w/ Murray I could have sworn [Bobby Jr] was touching my leg + hand. It seemed like he thought I was somebody else or wasn’t paying attention. Like he would come to every once in a while and snap out of it or I would move away. It was like he was on something or really tired or was missing Mary or was testing me,” Cooney wrote in an entry dated November 7.

It gets worse, even worse than Bobby coming into her bedroom in the middle of the night asking for a backrub. Early the next year, Cooney wrote that she was wearing her yoga clothes and was looking for something to eat in the kitchen pantry “when Kennedy came up behind her, blocked her inside the room, and began groping her, putting his hands on her hips and sliding them up along her rib cage and breasts” per Vanity Fair’s description of an incident that could have gotten worse if not for another domestic worker coming in and interrupting. Cooney recalls that the male worker told Bobby something along the lines of “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your wife to know about” or “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” as if this guy was Bobby’s sex addicts anonymous sponsor.

What makes this “Florida Patriots PAC” – which Punchbowl reports is probably backed by Kevin McCarthy’s “revenge tour” – so sure that painting Congressman Matt Gaetz as a total raging party dude who does drugs and bones underage chicks is a turnoff to primary voters in his district? What if they like a guy who lives out their fantasy wish-fulfillment lifestyle? Maybe this even backfires.

President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign on Tuesday announced they had raised $264 million in the second quarter of 2024, a $75 million increase over Q1 and $38 million of it in the four days since the debate train wreck in Atlanta for $240 million cash on hand, the Washington Post reports.

Convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign and joint committees have not announced their quarterly haul yet, the most recent announcement being that they raked in $106 million last month after the fat fuck was found guilty on 34 felony counts due to a partially-successful effort by his 2016 campaign at covering up a two-minute long sexual encounter that occurred in 2006.