The Axis of Buzz Alerts – Politico Playbook, Punchbowl, and Axios – appear to have collectively decided to curry favor with ascendant Dems Thursday and Friday, directing their “disarray” narrative onto the bloated old corpse their house accountants abso-fucking-lutely wanted to win in 2024.

First up is Axios, who printed “A year into Trump’s term, voters say Biden was better,” firing off three bullet points supporting their thesis, starting by citing abject Trump ballsucker Mark Penn’s polling firm finding that 51 percent of respondents saying Biden did a better job than Trump is doing. Then it was an even uglier finding from hardcore MAGA pollster Rasmussen Reports finding Biden 48 to Trump 40 percent on a similar question, and lastly the Economist/YouGov at Biden 46 to Trump 40 percent, then another 7 percent saying “about the same.” That could actually kinda sting the most.

On Friday Axios printed “Behind the Curtain: Resistance rising” because “Resistance” drives clicks and “the law of political gravity is starting to apply to Trump.” AXIOS IS SO INSIGHTFUL.

Thursday morning’s Punchbowl AM was about as blunt as possible, writing “Trump is wasting his energy. He can veto any tariff termination resolution and the vast majority of Republicans would absolutely uphold his veto. These resolutions are nothing more than a bad headline for the president. But Trump doesn’t like the optics of any Republicans voting against him. Ever,” accurately portraying him as a mental child and warning if his “approval ratings stay where they are, Republicans may continue to buck him, betting that opposing an unpopular president is smart for the midterms.” What happened to the shining virtuoso at the center of the political solar system?

They’re turning suburban women into ISIS radicals https://t.co/YfDkyuvagI

— Jack Posobiec (@JackPosobiec) February 13, 2026

Suspecting a 7-Eleven is an inside job that goes all the way to the top, douchebag Trump Admin pencil pusher General Services Administration deputy chief Michael Lynch tells Fox News he’s sent the chain’s COO a sternly worded letter following an altercation where now-demoted weenie Gregory Bovino and his posse were denied service at a Minneapolis gas station last month.

“As 7-Eleven, Inc/Speedway LLC locations accept the GSA SmartPay fleet card for fuel and other authorized purchases on behalf of Federal fleets – including those operated by the US Department of Homeland Security – these actions raise concerns about the ability of Federal vehicle operators to access necessary fuel and services at convenient locations,” Lynch wrote to COO Doug Rosencrans.

One manager of a Speedway – an affiliate of the 7-Eleven network – gas station in Minnesota told Bovino to get fucked and would not be serving him and his goons and now the MAGA Reich literally thinks it goes all the way to the top. These stupid cocksuckers and their delicate little feelings.

Convicted felon President Trump on Thursday pardoned convicted drug traffickers Travis Henry, Nate Newton, and Jamal Lewis simply because they used to play in the NFL, the AP reports on a two-tiered justice system. Perjurer Joe Klecko and counterfeiter Billy Cannon were also pardoned.

As long as she doesn’t drug and rob our agents, we’ll consider that an improvement over her past behavior. https://t.co/P9wqWk416L

— Homeland Security (@DHSgov) February 12, 2026

If we talking about drugs let’s talk about Epstein and friends drugging underage girls to rape them. Why yall don’t wanna talk about the Epstein files? https://t.co/U7yCarPIXs

— Cardi B (@iamcardib) February 12, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime failed to get another stay before a Manhattan judge’s expired on Thursday so the funding to continue constructing the $16 billion Gateway Tunnel project is now unblocked, Politico’s Chris Marquette reports. It does not appear Penn Station will be renamed for Trump either, so really the fat bastard got nothing for his arbitrary hostage-taking.

The super-duper secret DNI whistleblower report that shitbag Hindu fascist Tulsi Gabbard is still trying to hide from Congress concerns, as the Wall Street Journal puts it, a “conversation intercepted last spring in which two foreign nationals discussed Jared Kushner.”

Probably wasn’t just Bonesaw and one of his aides trying to remember what brand of hummus Jared prefers to have in his hotel suite when he’s in town for their regular money laundering meetings.

This will be immediately appealed.

Sedition is sedition, “Captain.” https://t.co/dKrvhqy1a5

— Pete Hegseth (@PeteHegseth) February 12, 2026

National office supply retailer Staples is a great source for tech services, which are critical in today’s digital environment. From repairs to preventative maintenance, customers can find the technological services to keep their PCs, Macs, tablets, or mobile device in top shape for when they need help they most. Staples’ priority is getting customers’ technology back up and running, or to help prevent issues before they happen with proper setup and protection services. With over 900 locations nationwide open seven days a week, Staples’s trained tech professionals are ready to tackle your tech troubles and have your device back to you usually within three to five business days!

Unless you got the viruses from downloading thousands of child sexual abuse images, like one Staples troubleshooting pro did when examining a laptop dropped off by 55 year-old Hanover, Pennsylvania man Troy Wesley Tracey. The Hanover Evening Sun reports that the tech had to call law enforcement professionals to examine Tracey and diagnose him with that really pesky rural Caucasian pedophilia virus, hitting him with two felony counts of child pornography possession, all with the help of the friendly tech who told them the child porn sites definitely caused the viruses.

So if you’re not a chomo – or at least one smart enough to simply throw out your laptop with child porn on it and need a clean one fixed – visit Staples.com to find a location near you today!

Now actual Venezuelan President Delcy Rodriguez tells NBC News that her former boss, Nicholas Maduro – the guy she sold out to the Trump regime, is still the legitimate leader of the nation.

Even though he’s going to die at ADX Florence and wasn’t really fairly elected in the first place.

“I can tell you President Nicolás Maduro is the legitimate president. I will tell you this as a lawyer, that I am. Both President Maduro and Cilia Flores, the first lady, are both innocent,” Rodriguez told Kristen Welker in an interview taped in Caracas that’ll probably air Sunday. “I can tell you I am in charge of the presidency of Venezuela, as it’s stated clearly in the constitution of Venezuela. And from the amount of work that I have, from how busy I am, I can tell you it’s very, very hard work and we’re doing it completely day by day,” the venomous snake in Maduro’s garden continued.

Rodriguez said she’s “been invited to the States.” Womp womp Maria Corina Machado.

A DC federal judge on Thursday sided with Dem Arizona Senator Mark Kelly and blocked binge-drinking date rapist Secretary of War Defense Pete Hegseth from demoting the decorated retired Navy captain and former NASA astronaut – as well as docking his pension – for having reminded service members of their duty to disobey illegal orders from a tyrannical and incompetent regime in the “Don’t Give Up The Ship” video. That everyone saw this ruling coming is prooooobably why Hegseth’s fellow alcoholic former Fox News host Jeanine Pirro slapped together her amateurish and similarly doomed attempt to punish Kelly – and the five other Dems – through different means.

Wrote District Judge Richard Leon, emphasis his: “United States Senator Mark Kelly, a retired naval officer, has been censured by Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth for voicing certain opinions on military actions and policy. In addition, he has been subjected to proceedings to possibly reduce his retirement rank and pay and threatened with criminal prosecution if he continues to speak out on these issues. Secretary Hegseth relies on the well-established doctrine that military service members enjoy less vigorous First Amendment protections given the fundamental obligation for obedience and discipline in the armed forces. Unfortunately for Secretary Hegseth, no court has ever extended those principles to retired service members, much less a retired service member serving in Congress and exercising oversight responsibility over the military.”

You will not be surprised to learn that convicted felon President Trump was not what most people would call “honest” when questioned specifically about the Warner Bros-Netflix-Paramount drama during his interview with NBC’s Tom Llamas last week, per CNN media guy Brian Stelter’s newsletter.

“You are close with the Ellisons who are trying to stop a merger between Warner Bros, Discovery, and Netflix. This deal could change the make-up of the media as we know it. Are you personally gonna get involved in that deal?” asked Llamas, to which Trump said “I haven’t been involved. I must say, I guess I’m considered to be a very strong president. I’ve been called by both sides, it’s the two sides, but I’ve decided I shouldn’t be involved. The Justice Department will handle it,” and blah blah blah too senile to recall the word “antitrust” and blah blah blah. Emphasis added on the denials.

The interview, aired prior to the Super Bowl, was taped last Wednesday – timing that Stelter finds interesting because it was most likely after the fat bastard welcomed loyal oligarch Larry Ellison to the White House – as well as two days before the Wall Street Journal reported that the Regime DOJ’s Antitrust division had opened an investigation into Netflix… And just Netflix as it is right now.

Not like an investigation of the streaming giant’s bid to acquire Warner, which is still at a stage far too early for there to be any official regulatory scrutiny from the division. As for Trump’s meeting with Ellison, Stelter’s sources did not provide any detail on what they talked about but you have to be pretty goddamned daft if you think CNN’s future didn’t come up one way or another given that months ago Ellison specifically told Trump he would fire Erin Burnett, Brianna Keilar, and other anchors the fat bastard hates if and when he and his dickhead son can get the keys to the building.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday floated an interesting epistemological hypothesis regarding theoretical inappropriate conduct by Attorney General Pam Bondi having a list of searches of the unredacted Epstein files by Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal in Bondi’s binder during her Wednesday hearing: That IF Johnson were aware of the voluminous photographic evidence that Bondi indeed had such a printout in her binder while sitting at the table during the contentious testimony then it WOULD BE “inappropriate,” in Johnson’s words. However, like many other inexplicably distant video clips, racist rants by convicted felon President Trump, and so on, Johnson asserted unfalsifiably that he remains outside the sphere of awareness of this transgression by Bondi and concordantly she remains outside the sphere of his judgment on inappropriate conduct.

It’s almost like these Hill reporters should have an iPad on hand with whatever it is they already know Johnson is going to say he hasn’t seen yet very clearly displayed on the tablet. Hand it to him first, explain it briefly, THEN ask him to comment. Or print it out if an iPad’s too clunky, whatever.

In related news the House is out on recess for the week and DHS will shut down Friday.

“AG Pam Bondi, under intense fire from the Trump Deranged Radical Left Lunatics, was fantastic at yesterday’s Hearing on the never ending saga of Jeffrey Epstein, where the one thing that has been proven conclusively, much to their chagrin, was that President Donald J Trump has been 100 percent exonerated of their ridiculous Russia, Russia, Russia type charges. Actually, it is the SLIMEBALL Democrats, many of them big Donors and Politicians, that have been proven GUILTY! ‘Republican’ Loser, Sanctimonious RINO Congressman, Thomas Massie, made a total fool of himself yesterday, fighting aimlessly against a hopeless agenda of Hate and Stupidity, as most clearly stated by his crashing Job Approval Numbers in the Great Commonwealth of Kentucky, where a Military Hero Opponent, Ed Gallrein, is crushing him in the Polls. He is now in ‘Wacky’ Liz Cheney territory!”

“Nobody cared about Epstein when he was alive, they only cared about him when they thought he could create Political Harm to a very popular President who has brought our Country back from the brink of extinction, and very quickly, at that! In fact, this attempt by the Democrats to take away attention from tremendous Republican SUCCESS is backfiring badly. Maybe they should focus on their quest to Open our Borders to the World’s Greatest Criminals, have Transgender for Everybody or, get Men, no matter their size or strength, to play in Women’s Sports. Thank you for your attention to this matter,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, thanking everyone for their attention to the Epstein matter that he just drew attention to by claiming he’s been exonerated.

Fresh off her and five other Congressional Dems not-at-all-narrowly escaping a grand jury indicting them for reminding US service members of their duty to disobey illegal orders, Michigan Senator Elissa Slotkin tells Punchbowl’s Anthony Adragna that she’s hearing that daydrinking DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro is going to present a “case” again to try to land an indictment on charges that Slotkin still has no idea what federal statute… Reportedly neither did Pirro, who brought in a dance photography studio owner/former Westchester County prosecutor who used to work for her to present the case. Seriously. They also got zero votes for probable cause. Full shut-out.

“I don’t expect this administration to give up. They have a pattern. This president doesn’t like to lose,” other would-be accused criminal seditionist Mark Kelly told Adragna, adding “I don’t expect this is going away any time soon.” Fact check-ish: It’s been over a month since the last reports of a no bill of the lame “case” against New York Attorney General Letitia James. There’s been no reporting of another try against former FBI Director James Comey. Neither are completely out of the very thin woods but the efforts sure seem closer to sputtered out than getting back on track.

“Remember, it was RINO Governor Kevin Stitt, of Oklahoma, who was massively behind his Opponent in his previous Election for Governor, who called me to ask for help. I Endorsed him (Barely!), and he won his Race. He then went on to modestly represent among the greatest people on Earth, the incredible Patriots of ‘The Sooner State,’ who gave me unprecedented Voting acclimation in all three Elections, winning every County within the State, three times, and getting more Votes than anyone who has ever run for Office, including the Late, Great Ronald Reagan. In any event, we will soon have a Governor in Oklahoma who knows how to accurately write a Press Release to the Public, in this case, to state that I invited, not happily, almost all Democrat Governors to the Governor’s Dinner at the White House. Stitt, a wiseguy, knew this, but tried to get some cheap publicity by stating otherwise. Anyway, I’ll see whoever shows up at the White House, the fewer the better!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, his third in less than 24 hours screaming at Stitt over this governors’ association drama that’s pretty far out into the edge of the media’s radar.

Joining late and RonAnon just asked Minnesota AG Keith Ellison if he encouraged his constituents to go out and “exercise their First Amendment” rights to which Ellison responded that he admits “to being in favor of the First Amendment,” in case you want an idea of how it’s going so far.

After having suffered grievous political casualties, Trump regime borderfuhrer Tom Homan on Thursday announced a “significant drawdown” to the occupation of Minneapolis by DHS.

“I have proposed, and President Trump has concurred, that this surge operation conclude. A significant drawdown has already been underway this week and will continue,” said Homan.

Staffers for Republican Ohio Senators Bernie “M4M” Moreno and Jon “I am not Jon Huntsman” Husted on Tuesday affirmed their commitment to full opacity on the $3,500 campaign contributions each accepted from Dirty Jeff’s close friend and credibly suspected statutory rape enthusiast Les Wexner. NOTUS reached out to both, as well as the NRSC – to whom Wex donated $250,000 last year – for a comment on his support for their campaigns and got no answer from their teams.

Nor from Republican Ohio Congressman Mike Carey, who received $3,300 from Wexner.

To be completely fair also silent was Dem Ohio Congresswoman Joyce Beatty on the $3,500 she took from him. Same with Husted’s all-but-certain November opponent, former Senator Sherrod Brown, whose hands are marginally cleaner as he got multiple $2,500 donations from Wexner’s wife between 2011 and 2017. It might be smart to get on a sizable transfer, far larger than that sum total, to whatever organization the Epstein survivors have formed. Or to just form one for them.

Anyway, the closest the reporter got was “A source familiar with the situation told NOTUS that Moreno would not be returning the funds, and said that the donation was unsolicited.”