“There will be no deal with Iran except UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER! After that, and the selection of a GREAT and ACCEPTABLE Leader(s), we, and many of our wonderful and very brave allies and partners, will work tirelessly to bring Iran back from the brink of destruction, making it economically bigger, better, and stronger than ever before. IRAN WILL HAVE A GREAT FUTURE. ‘MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN (MIGA!)'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, all but screaming for mercy and begging for some way to keep his egomaniacal strongman image intact.

FUCK YEAH! The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that “total nonfarm payroll employment edged down by 92,000 in February, and the unemployment rate changed little at 4.4 percent, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Employment in health care decreased, reflecting strike activity. Employment in information and federal government continued to trend down.” WOOHOO!

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AWESOME! IT HELPS DEMOCRATS GET MORE VOTES IN NOVEMBER IF IT CONTINUES! THIS IS SUCH GREAT NEWS THAT AMERICANS ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE THAT MEANS THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE IT OUT ON REPUBLICANS AT THE BALLOT BOX! EVEN BETTER IS THAT ECONOMISTS HAD EXPECTED JUST 50,000 US JOB LOSSES!!! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, NO TIME FOR MAGA, CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS… OF AMERICA!!!

What? Why are you looking at this article like that? Was there a typo? Why can’t National Zero act the same way Republicans and right wing media did back in 2022 and 2023 every time there was a bad inflation or jobs report or when someone tweeted a pic of an $18 Big Mac extra value meal on the menu board at a rest stop McDonald’s on I-95 in Connecticut? The all caps victory dance above was just as subtle as their shit was back in those days. Stop being such weenie leftist libs about it.

And to be serious for a second, no. Nobody should ever want people to suffer if it’s politically advantageous for their team (“Leopards Ate My Face“-type situations are by and large anecdotal and individual, and thus are different). It was fucking ridiculous how over the top the fanboys got during the Biden years. Going even more over the top here simply to remind them how they looked.

Russian intelligence has been feeding the Iranian military with targeting information on the locations of American ships and aircraft in the region, the Washington Post reports on the friendly assistance from the US’s top adversary that for almost a decade had been a close political friend of convicted felon President Trump. “It does seem like it’s a pretty comprehensive effort,” said a source.

Maybe kind of surprisingly the officials told the Post the ChiComs are by contrast not doing anything to help the Iranians fend off the American/Israeli onslaught, despite similarly close ties.

“We have a little bit of an interruption right now to finally put an end to their ability to wreak havoc.”

.@SecretaryWright says relief at the pump is coming soon, predicting it will take “weeks, not months” for gas prices to come back down pic.twitter.com/cOGI5PCaBk

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) March 6, 2026

Futures for a barrel of Brent crude oil hit $89.93 on Friday morning, up from $68.05 a month ago and creeping toward the $90 mark while US West Texas Intermediate was not far behind at $86.06, up from $63.55 a month ago, CNBC reports from the war on America’s energy independence.

Dow Jones Industrial Average futures were also down 232 points to 47,451. Nobody gave convicted felon President Trump the memo on that because on Thursday the fat fucking demneted slob said the Dow was over 50,000 at a moment when it was most certainly not and had not been for days.

Scumbag Republican Texas Congressman Tony Gonzales on Thursday night finally dropped his reelection bid hours after House GOP leadership had urged him to call it quits – but definitely just on the campaign, not his seat altogether. “My hope is he would finish out the rest of his term… We didn’t call for him to resign, we asked him to withdraw from the race,” said overmedicated harridan Conference Chair Lisa McClain when asked by a reporter if Gonzales should resign and vacate the seat. Worth noting here is that Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson, who signed onto the statement, had in July 2024 called on President Joe Biden to resign “immediately” after dropping his reelection bid, tweeting “If Joe Biden is not fit to run for President, he is not fit to serve as President.”

Anyway it may not have been that mid-Thursday afternoon statement that finally pushed Gonzales off the ledge as at 5:42 PM CST hometown paper the San Antonio Express-News acquired a selfie of Gonzales with now-deceased aide Regina Santos-Aviles before she committed suicide by self-immolation in September 13, 2025. While the date and on whose phone it was taken was taken cannot be established, the metadata of the image establishes that Santos-Aviles downloaded it to her phone as a text message attachment five days earlier at 9:07 pm CDT on September 8, 2025, according to estranged husband Adrian Aviles’s lawyer, who provided it to the Express-News.

Outgoing traitor MAGA Congressman Barry Loudermilk this week sent a criminal referral to the Trump Regime Department of Justice, urging them to prosecute former Trump 1.0 White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson for allegedly lying to Congress during her infamous 2022 testimony to the House January 6th Select Committee, CNN reports on Loudermilk cementing his legacy.

Should’ve seen it coming because of course it would go this way. This die was cast long ago even if nobody could quite have precisely foreseen its abhorrent shape and venal composition:

Polymarket and smaller competitor Kalshi – not to be confused with the lame “health-conscious” breakfast cereal brand Kashi – both launched around the same time, 2020 and 2021 respectively, aimed at putting industrial-scale prop betting on anything and everything people would bet for or against into their hands. Both were obscure and niche until 2024 when many in the wider political world first become acquainted with Polymarket as it asserted itself during that election year.

Leonidas at Thermopylae. Caesar at the Rubicon. Napoleon at Waterloo. These previously obscure places became history’s granite for those men’s actions: blood spilled, iron rattled, great empires thwarted, founded, or felled. It is in that vein that The Villages’ news site of record sings of David Alan Bobilya, 60, as he who “will forever be remembered as the younger male half of the notorious after-hours tryst” in the “2014 escapade that brought unwanted headlines to The Villages.”

Bobilya, then 49, drunkenly effed 68 year-old Margaret “Peggy” Klem in front of horrified onlookers at the pavilion at Lake Sumter Landing Market Square, a crime of indecency for which both served six months in jail. Klem’s husband Frank at least forgave her for the indiscretion, according to a 2019 recap that says the incident put “The Villages on the map for all the wrong reasons” after it “had reeled for years about being an STD mecca after a Villages gynecologist in 2006 was quoted as saying she’d treated more cases of herpes and human papillomavirus in Florida’s Friendliest Hometown than she did when she practiced in Miami. She later somewhat recanted the statement”

The site says it was their most popular story for 2014 “followed by the death of Villages Developer H Gary Morse and the story of a Villages couple who also was sentenced to six months behind bars after they were caught having sex on a utility box behind the wall at the Morse Boulevard circle off US Hwy 27/441.” It’s not clear if that couple were married or had at least met each other before.

Anyway Bobilya was arrested again after driving away and suspiciously so from Sumter Landing Market Square on Sunday, he blew a .127 BAC and was booked for driving under the influence.

Urgently calling all Matt Taibbi, Glenn Greenwald, Michael Shellenberger, and Tristan Leavitt-type iconoclasts! This is a red alert! First Amendment DEFCON-a-million! Lengthy Substack post rapid response needed immediately as the AP reports conservative icon former top Border Patrol official Greg Bovino is under investigation for merely questioning whether Orthodox Jewish US Attorney for Minnesota Daniel Rosen was available on a Saturday during a January 12 conference call!

All he allegedly did was use the term “chosen people” in an allegedly disparaging way and asked, in an allegedly sarcastic tone, whether Rosen understood that some Orthodox Jews don’t take the Sabbath off work. “Do Orthodox criminals also take off on Saturday?” Bovino allegedly asked, and now the Deep State is saying “Following a letter from a Congressman inquiring about reporting on anonymous allegations, CBP opened an internal inquiry to determine the full story. This is standard procedure and does NOT indicate any confirmation of wrongdoing.” THIS IS CENSORSHIP!!!

Ahem… Is this them just pissing on Bovino when he’s already down and on his way out?

It’s a slightly whole new world for Petey Pee Pants, Pam Bondi, and the others now that they realize they are actually replaceable, so let’s see if that factors in to how Kegsbreath handles himself.

Israel’s chief rabbis on Thursday sent a formal letter to Transportation Minister Miri Regev ripping into her for ordering the train running from Ben Gurion airport to Tel-Aviv open on Saturday while the hub is expected to continue taking in a shit ton of flights inbound from elsewhere in the Middle East as Israelis flee the still-ongoing Iranian missile and drone attacks, the Jerusalem Post reports.

The rabbis assert there’s no pikuach nefesh, meaning an exception to Shabbat rules to preserve life and limb, that justifies running train service in and out of the airport and holy shit what the hell is wrong with these clowns. What the fuck is your sternly-worded letter going to do other than just make you look like you have your bearded head up your ass and don’t live in the real world? If your say over pikachu neckfish is such a big deal how about you form a human chain and block the tracks on Saturday? Stand up for your principles if imposing them on others is so goddamned important.

Cops in Butler County, Ohio on Thursday announced the arrest of registered Republican voter Tanya McCreadie on two felony counts of Pandering Obscenity Involving a Minor after they had determined that McCreadie had “disseminated videos and images depicting prepubescent children in a state of nudity and engaged in sexual acts” and that they “seized several electronic devices believed to contain evidence related to the case. A preliminary review of those devices revealed at least two images and/or videos consistent with the material reported to investigators. Detectives have also determined that two of the images were sent to other recipients,” per the county sheriff’s office.

“This type of crime is among the most disturbing that law enforcement encounters,” said Sheriff Richard K Jones of the likely Trump voter’s crimes. “You have to be a pretty low person to possess such vile material where the ultimate victims are innocent children. We will continue to work tirelessly to identify anyone involved in exploiting children and hold them fully accountable.”

Incompetent asshole now former US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia Lindsey Halligan’s license to practice any kind of law is now under review by the Florida Bar Association, the New York Times reports, citing a notice in the federal register that the Justice Department is seeking to intervene in the proceedings in the Sunshine State. The Times also were made aware of a Bar letter to an outside group demanding they look into Halligan with a letter reading simply “We already have an investigation pending,” and noting Halligan’s numerous reprimands from various judges.

Halligan, an insurance lawyer with no prosecutorial experience whatsoever, was appointed by convicted felon President Trump for the sole purpose of indicting former FBI Director James Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James, cases that were complete bullshit before they were thrown out in a matter of weeks precisely because of Halligan’s illegitimacy serving in an acting capacity in a US Senate-confirmed position for which Trump didn’t even bother trying to nominate her. Disbarment, if it ever happens, could take years, but Halligan simply having this headache at all is another chilling effect for the cogs in the already pretty rusty Trump legal retribution machine.

A relatively massive 4.9-magnitude earthquake struck northern Louisiana at about 5:30 AM local time Thursday morning, its epicenter about 50 south of Shreveport, USA Today reports.

The national paper for some reason called Republican state Senator Tom Pressly for a quote to have him say that “a 4.9 earthquake isn’t insignificant,” adding that his wife slept through the whole thing because she’s from California. He did not add if she was also loaded up on gin and barbituates until 3:30 AM and that’s why she slept though it because two things can be true at the same time.

“Today, the Office of State Attorney Bill Gladson of the Fifth Judicial Circuit announces the Life sentence of 45-year-old Andrew Paul Johnson. Back in February of this year, Johnson was found guilty of Lewd or Lascivious Molestation of a Victim less than 12 years of age, Lewd or Lascivious Molestation of a Victim 12 years of age or older but less than 16 years of age, two counts of Lewd or Lascivious Exhibition, and Transmission of Material Harmful to a Minor by Electronic Device.”

“In July of 2025, deputies with the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office responded to a residence in Brooksville in reference to a sex offense. When law enforcement arrived on scene, they were informed by the complainant that two juvenile victims stated they were both inappropriately touched by Johnson. Furthermore, the complainant provided deputies with a cell phone found in possession of the first victim, who indicated Johnson had provided the device to talk to them,” says a press release from the Florida Fifth Judicial Circuit DA’s office, that fails to mention that the only reason Johnson, a January 6th Capitol insurrectionist, was in proximity to these victims – at least one of them a male – was because convicted felon President Trump had pardoned him and thus released him from the 1 year federal prison sentence he had been serving since October 2024.

Johnson and fellow rioter Zach Alam are the only two known insurrectionists who had been released from custody on January 20th, 2025 and then went on to commit felonies they would not have been free to had former Vice President Kamala Harris won. That other asshole Jake Lang – who was in jail awaiting trial early last year – has only been hit with misdemeanors for threatening cops and other stupid bullshit. National Zero errored in a January article describing Johnson’s molestation offenses as having been committed after the insurrection but prior to his incarceration. This was incorrect as he unquestionably sexually assaulted the children again after Trump freed him from the clink.

“I am pleased to announce that the Highly Respected United States Senator from the Great State of Oklahoma, Markwayne Mullin, will become the United States Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS), effective March 31, 2026. The current Secretary, Kristi Noem, who has served us well, and has had numerous and spectacular results (especially on the Border!), will be moving to be Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas, our new Security Initiative in the Western Hemisphere we are announcing on Saturday in Doral, Florida. I thank Kristi for her service at ‘Homeland,'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday and lol at that fake-ass “exit ramp” job.

The Democrats are about to score a scalp because weak Republicans want someone at DHS that’s merely a seat-filler who won’t carry out mass deportations.

— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) March 5, 2026