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Apricot Adulterer scheduled to appear at Minnesota campaign fundraiser on same day as son Barron’s high school graduation

After begging the court to cancel proceedings on May 17th so he could attend son Barron’s graduation, persistent defendant Donald Trump has decided that celebrating said graduation isn’t all that important and booked a fundraiser in Minnesota for later in the day, People Magazine reports.

The Minnesota Republican Party announced Trump will be the keynote speaker at its annual Lincoln Reagan dinner fundraiser in Saint Paul that evening.  “We are thrilled to welcome… Trump back to Minnesota to headline our Lincoln Reagan dinner, an annual tradition that reminds us of the roots of our Party and the leaders that have been the most impactful in promoting our American values,” which apparently includes violating at least eight of the Ten Commandments.

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Biden 39 – Trump 38 among likely voters in Arizona: poll

A new survey of likely Arizona voters by Grand Canyon State pollster Data Orbital finds President Biden leads fat former President Trump 39 to 38 percent while Dem Congressman Ruben Gallego leads batshit idiot Kari Lake 48 to 44 percent in the race for the open Senate seat. Russian asset Robert F Kennedy Jr places third in the presidential race at 14 percent support.

Yeah we’ve never heard of Data Orbital either but what we like about this is that in the final 2022 statewide poll they found Dem Senator Mark Kelly ahead of Reptiloid fascist Blake Masters by less than 2 percent – Kelly won by almost 5 percent, Lake leading now-Governor Katie Hobbs by 1.1 percent – Hobbs won by 0.67 percent, MAGA asshole Abe Hamadeh leading now-Attorney General Kris Mayes by 3 percent – Mayes won by 280 votes, and “Stop the Steal” shitbag Mark Finchem leading now-Secretary of State Adrian Fontes by 1.3 percent – Fontes won by about 4.5 percent.

So if their most recent past performance is repeated in future results, if Biden vs Trump is still this tight in Data Orbital’s October 2024 poll we’d be feeling pretty good about Joe’s chances there.

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Surprise! Cannon rules Trump trial can’t start in two weeks

Oh damn. Judge Aileen Cannon on Tuesday ruled that she’s determined “that finalization of a trial date at this juncture – before resolution of the myriad and interconnected pre-trial and CIPA issues remaining and forthcoming—would be imprudent and inconsistent with the Court’s duty to fully and fairly consider the various pending pre-trial motions before the Court, critical CIPA issues, and additional pretrial and trial preparations necessary to present this case to a jury The Court therefore vacates the current May 20, 2024, trial date (and associated calendar call), to be reset by separate order following resolution of the matters before the Court, consistent with Defendants’ right to due process and the public’s interest in the fair and efficient administration of justice.”

Oh well. Was really hoping she could get her act together and start a massive federal trial with a defendant who’s already on trial in another jurisdiction, but sometimes shit happens.

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LIVE UPDATES: Annoying “Stormy weather in NYC” puns ahead

It’s actually a beautiful mid-spring Tueday here in Gotham. For now. Amazon Echo just gave a notification for a “coastal flood advisory” for Brooklyn starting at 6 PM EDT through 10 PM EDT.

Meaning that it’s not inaccurate to say there’s “Stormy weather ahead.” It’s just kind of rote to use it as a pun to describe the expected testimony of the pornstar in disgraced former President Trump’s ongoing 2016 election interference/hush money payoff trial. But to say it will be tumultuous for the fat fuck might be kind of an understatement given that his legal team possibly told him he had crossed a line on his gag order with a Truth Social post – that did not name names – from 7:30 AM EDT. We just might be in for another show cause order from the DA’s team.

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Looms big mad over based God flirting with Bobby Jr

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Ukrainians arrest two in alleged Zelensky assassination plot

Ukraine’s main intelligence directorate on Tuesday announced that two high-level Ukrainian defense officials had been arrested in an alleged Russian-backed plot to assassinate President Volodymyr Zelensky, CNN reports. “One of the tasks of the FSB’s agent network was to find perpetrators among the military close to the President’s security who could take the Head of State hostage and then kill him,” the SBU said in a statement about the L for Vladdy Daddy.

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Orange Defendant rages over being unable to intimidate witness

“I have just recently been told who the witness is today. This is unprecedented, no time for lawyers to prepare. No Judge has ever run a trial in such a biased and partisan way. He is CROOKED and HIGHLY CONFLICTED, even taking away my First Amendment Rights. Now he’s threatening me with JAIL, and THEY HAVE NO CASE – This according to virtually all Legal Scholars and Experts! Why isn’t the Fake News Media reporting his Conflict?” wrote fat former President Trump on Truth Social Tuesday morning, evidently freaking out that the gag order specifically prohibits him from shitposting about said witness. Too bad he’s being “disciplined” here and not letting his impulses get the better of him. Maybe the rage-induced spike in blood pressure will do him in for good finally.

Also that’s complete bullshit where he says “the Fake News Media” isn’t reporting on the gag order’s provisions as we just posted clips of Fox News’s coverage on that from Monday afternoon.

JustSecurity’s Adam Klasfeld reports none other than the lady herself, Stormy Daniels, is up.

UPDATE 5/7/2024 8:25 AM EDT: The big fat man-baby deleted the Truth Social post. The Daily Beast seems to be hinting that it was because this was indeed a gag order violation.

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Vladimir Putin re-inaugurated

Russian dictator Vladimir Putin swore to uphold the rule of lawlessness and remain faithful to corrupting the effective non-existent constitution on Tuesday as he began his fifth term of office ruling over his impoverished, dysfunctional, and partially radioactive kingdom, AFP reports.

“We will pass through this difficult, decisive period with dignity and become even stronger,” the Prince of Polonium said to his assembled supplicants. “We are a united and great nation. Together we will overcome all obstacles, achieve everything we have planned, and together we will win.”

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Might be yet another Trump gag order violation here

Stick a pin in this two-fer of bullshit Fox News clips stitched together from two of fat former President Trump’s Truth Social posts – one posted Monday at 9:28 PM EDT and the other with the same time stamp just seconds later. It’s easy enough to imagine that they probably would’ve been just one clip/post but that this Andrew McCarthy dickhead was shit-talking witnesses in between them so Trump’s handlers cut out the middle. There doesn’t appear to be anything that McCarthy actually says that could be a violation, but some of the text on the screen mentions witnesses by name and – in the still frame we picked for the above video – Assistant DA Josh Steinglass.

And it’s definitely not to praise his professionalism so much as make him seem like a weasel playing unfairly against Donald. We’re hedging toward no, that this won’t be another violation, but better to be right about that and nothing happens than wrong and let some other site catch it first.

In related news, Reuters reports that former supermarket tabloid hustler David Pecker was hit with a swatting call early in the morning on the day of his testimony for the prosecution last month.

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QAdulteress demanded Johnson defund Ukraine, Jack Smith

During her lengthy hostage negotiation meeting with House Speaker Mike Johnson on Monday, white nationalist conspiracy freak Congresswitch Marjorie Taylor Greene demanded that the Jesus dork commit to no further military aid to Ukraine, defunding Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s ongoing prosecutions of her Orange God Emperor, and to stick to the “Hastert rule,” a proviso which requires that only legislation with the support of a majority of the majority can be put to the floor for a vote, Punchbowl News reports. They explained what the rule means but not that it’s named after a guy who served over a year in a federal prison after pleading guilty to paying his male molestation victims to stay quiet about him abusing them when they were kids.

“Greene doesn’t really see those political realities as hurdles – or care. She wants to cause legislative crises and get media coverage,” Punchbowl writes succinctly about her goals, making it all seem like an “exit ramp” for both her and Johnson. Ukraine isn’t getting any more aid before 2025, if ever. Jack Smith’s electricity and internet bills are paid for through at least the rest of the fiscal year, and trying to pull the plug on him would be DOA in the Senate. There’s not a lot of actual legislating left to do before September beyond an FAA reauthorization. All of which seems to not really worry Johnson.

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German cops raid Fourth Reich MEP’s office over ChiCom spy aide

Investigators with Germany’s Federal Prosecutor’s Office on Tuesday searched the offices of far right Member of European Parliament Maximilian Krah’s office in Brussels as part of their investigation into Krah’s hiring of suspected ChiCom spy Jian Guo, Deutsche Welle reports.

Krah, a member of Germany’s extremist Fourth Reich party, Alternative for Germany (AfD), fired Guo after his arrest on April 22nd but refused to step down from his seat in the European Union’s main legislature or suspend his reelection campaign. Guo, a German citizen of Chinese origin, is just the most salient case in a larger suspected ring of ChiCom spies said to have infiltrated the ultra-nationalist, immigrant-hating German party’s ranks (and yes the irony of a pretty important AfD asshole hiring a Chinese immigrant is not lost on us). The German prosecutors said in a statement Belgian officials had greenlit the raid and that Krah himself was not a suspect, yet.

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Fascist MAGA legal “expert” clearly frustrated with Jim Jordan

Far right possible future Trump Regime Attorney General Mike Davis on Monday barely suppressed his rage at spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan for not finding a way to halt fat former President Trump’s ongoing criminal trial on 34 felony counts in Manhattan, telling white nationalist alcoholic Steve Bannon (who will soon find himself in the same courtroom) that “Jim Jordan and this Weaponization Committee need to step up immediately” to interfere with justice.

“Your point you’re trying to make is that [the House] Judiciary [Comnmittee] is fully empowered by kind of mandate to go do something like this. They don’t need to get signed off, so they can go do everything you just said the subpoenas, the documents, subpoenas for documents, for testimony to do under oath, videotaped depositions, all of it. Correct?” Bannon asked Davis on “War Room.”

“Yes. I would say to Jim Jordan, I’ll go volunteer for you if you need help. Like, let’s get moving on this. We are in week four of this criminal prosecution, they’re going to put Trump in prison if they can. This judge is already threatening this. This is illegal lawfare and election interference by these Democrats. This is a conspiracy against rights under 18 USC § 241,” said Davis, and we’re not experts but we’ll just go ahead and say it isn’t a conspiracy against Trump’s rights and even if it was, who does this asshole think controls the Justice Department and thus federal law enforcement?

“It’s a very serious civil rights felony that Biden, his White House Counsel, his Justice Department, including Garland and Colangelo. This is a criminal conspiracy,” Davis continued. “They timed this lawfare, these indictments and these civil prosecutions, to go after Trump during the election season to interfere. And so the House Republicans, the Weaponization Committee must step up, what the hell did they set up this committee to do if they’re not stepping up right now?”

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Pandemic flashback: Trump claims he didn’t restock medical supplies because he had “a lot going on”

As the nation hurtles toward a rematch of the last presidential election, it’s important to remember why the nation made the choice it did in 2020, and four years ago on May 6th, another nail was put into Trump’s coffin.  Two weeks after he suggested Americans inject disinfectant or shove a UV light inside themselves to kill the virus, Trump told ABC News’s David Muir that he was just too busy to order PPE at the start of the pandemic.

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Dakota ditch dog death dealer included Cricket’s assassination in draft of her first campaign bio in 2022

One-time VP aspirant and Republican South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem included the story about how she shot the family dog in a roadside ditch in the draft of her first campaign “fluff” biography in 2022, but removed it after her editors, agents and publicists urged her to, Politico reports.

Remember:  biographies like the one Noem put her name on–it was actually written by a ghostwriter–are supposed to help attract voters to the subject.  Just two years ago, when Noem was not running for any office, she put out a bio where she wanted to feature the assassination of the family pet as a metaphor for how Noem handles problems, like her political career.

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Congresswoman battling brain disorder uses app to deliver speech

Battling a degenerative brain disorder, Democratic Virginia Congresswoman Jennifer Wexton took the floor of the House Monday afternoon to present legislation to name a post office in her district after former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright using a text-to-speech app to compensate for her inability to speak due to her condition.  The third-term representative is believed to be the first to deliver a floor speech using the technology.  Wexton was diagnosed with progressive supranuclear palsy, a degenerative disease similar to Parkinson’s, in April 2023; she is not seeking reelection in the fall.

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Testimony links Terracotta Transgressor to checks cut to Cohen

On the twelfth day of Donald Trump criminal election interference hush money trial in Manhattan, testimony shifted to

  • Eric Trump attended today’s hearing, his second session in a row.  Apparently, running the Trump Org doesn’t take a lot of time when it’s being operated by court-appointed officers.
  • Merchan determines Trump violated his gag order by his “95% Democrat” comment about the jury.  He says the $1,000 fines are not having intended effect.
  • Merchan mentioned that he would jail/detain Trump. “The magnitude of this decision is not lost on me but at the end of the day I have a job to do. So as much as I don’t want to impose a jail sanction … I want you to understand that I will if necessary and appropriate.”
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