“They reject your overbearing Green New Deal regulations.  Y’know, you gotta get an electric vehicle,” human Lego Sean Hannity babbles.  “They want to take away your stove, your refrigerator, your air conditioner, and they wanna– They even want to take away your meat.”

They are all there, the jokes about a meatless Sean Hannity, anatomically ready for the CW’s spin/ripoff series of the Barbie brand, “I’m Only a Kent.”  But the more important issue is:  When the hell are we going to come for the stoves because it’s been, like, YEARS since we put them on the list, along with guns and lawn mowers.  And who added refrigerators?

While allies of sexual harasser and conservative hypocrite Matt Schlapp claim neither he nor his organization paid to dismiss the lawsuit against him, Carlton Huffman, the accuser, received a $480,000 payout from the organization’s insurance company, CNN reports.

“From the beginning, I asserted my innocence,” Schlapp said in a statement released on Tuesday without mentioning the payout.  “Our family was attacked, especially by a left-wing media that is focused on the destruction of conservatives regardless of the truth and the facts.”

Oddly, Schlapp’s lawyers also released a statement from Huffman after the suit was dropped, and it should be read in a very different light given the careful wording:  “The claims made in my lawsuits were the result of a complete misunderstanding, and I regret that the lawsuit caused pain to the Schlapp family.  Neither the Schlapps nor the ACU paid me anything to dismiss my claims against them.”

With an assist from Colombian forces, the US Coast Guard deployed helicopters and ships in a high-speed chase of a speed boat carrying four tons of cocaine as it dashed through the Caribbean Sea, CBS News reports.  Officers became suspicious when they saw the craft speeding and weaving in the water, then dropping packages off the back as Colombian military vessels approached.

It’s the second speedboat interdiction in the last week.  A British destroyer operating off the US Virgin Islands stopped another boat earlier this week that was carrying three tons of cocaine.  Expect a Donald Trump Jr. rant complaining about the misuse of law enforcement on the next episode of Triggered.

A California judge on Wednesday recommended that MAGA lawyer John Eastman be disbarred for misconduct over his involvement in fat former President Trump’s post-2020 election coup attempt.

“After full consideration of the record, the court finds that OCTC has satisfied its burden of proving all charges except for count eleven, which the court dismisses with prejudice. In view of the circumstances surrounding Eastman’s misconduct and balancing the aggravation and mitigation, the court recommends that Eastman be disbarred,” wrote Judge of the State Bar Court Yvette Roland.

The ruling, which took a freaking while considering the hearings were last summer, comes on the same day Eastman’s co-defendant in the Georgia RICO case, former Justice Department Acting Associate Attorney General Jeff Clark, had a really shitty time on the stand in his DC Bar hearing.

One-time Republican New Jersey Governor and guy who heckles Little League umpires Chris Christie turned down the Presidential nomination for the No Labels Party, whose chairman also abandoned the Party as it enters prime campaign season, the Washington Post reports.

“I appreciate the encouragement I’ve gotten to pursue a third-party candidacy,” Christie said in a statement to The Washington Post on Wednesday. “While I believe this is a conversation that needs to be had with the American people, I also believe that if there is not a pathway to win and if my candidacy in any way, shape or form would help Donald Trump become president again, then it is not the way forward.”

While it secured spots on November ballots in several states, No Labels has reportedly been turned down by every politician its leadership has approached to head the Party’s inaugural 2024 ticket.  West Virginia Democrat-ish Senator Joe Manchin and former Maryland Republican Governor Larry Hogan reportedly declined offers.

No Labels founding chairman Joe Lieberman died of something, maybe he was murdered, at the age of 82 on Wednesday. He’s survived by his wife Hadassah and possibly a cat or a dog.

“David Allen Carrier was sentenced to eleven months in prison for making voicemail threats to Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi and United States Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas, announced United States Attorney Ismail J Ramsey, Federal Bureau of Investigation (‘FBI’) Special Agent in Charge Robert K Tripp, and United States Secret Service (‘USSS’) Special Agent in Charge Shawn M Bradstreet. The sentence was handed down by the Hon William Alsup, Senior United States District Judge. Carrier, 44, of Concord, pleaded guilty to two counts of making threats against a federal official, in violation of 18 USC § 115(a)(1)(B), on Dec 19, 2023. A grand jury indicted him on Sept 12, 2023, charging him with the crimes. Court documents describe how on Thursday, Jan 21, 2021, Carrier left a message on the office voicemail of Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, who was at the time the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.”

“On the message, Carrier threatened to assault the Congresswoman. In pleading guilty to the charge, Carrier acknowledged that he acted with the intent to interfere with her performance as she was engaged with her official duties as a Member of Congress. Seventeen months later, on June 30, 2022, Carrier called the United States Department of Homeland Security hotline and left a voicemail message threatening to assault United States Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas. Carrier made his threat to assault Secretary Mayorkas with the intent to interfere with the Secretary while the Secretary was engaged in the performance of his official duties as the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security,” says a Justice Department press release.

In a complete dickpunch to Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin, Washington Capitals and Wizards owner Ted Leonsis will announce Wednesday that he will not be moving the NHL and NBA franchises out of DC and into a new arena in Northern Virginia, WAMU’s Tom Sherwood reports.

Didn’t help that Virginia Dems had last week blocked Youngkin’s plans to use public funds for the new arena, probably making the Vest Guy regret his proposed 15-week abortion ban even more now.

pic.twitter.com/I2hcD3DCHR

— Team Trump (Text TRUMP to 88022) (@TeamTrump) March 27, 2024

The headline was rhetorical. From the “Council on Criminal Justice” cited in the graphic: “The US homicide rate peaked in 1980 at 10.2 per 100,000 people. After falling then rising to another peak in 1991, the rate dropped to a low in 2014 similar to levels in the mid-1960s. An upward trend began in 2015, however, and homicide increased by 30% from 2019 to 2020, the largest single-year increase since 1960. After a small increase in 2021, the rate decreased 9% in 2022 to 6.3 per 100,000 people.”

That was their December 2023 report. So the spike really happened under Trump and receded partially since Biden took office. Not much of a “crime crisis” with a lower homicide rate.

A new Quinnipiac University survey finds 10 percent of would-be Trump 2024 voters saying they’ll supposedly be less likely to support the fat fuck if he’s convicted in Manhattan on the 34 felony counts of falsifying business records to cover up his hush money payouts to pornstar Stormy Daniels. Might’ve helped if QU would’ve printed the percentages among undecided voters.

President Biden leads Trump 48 to 45 percent in a head-to-head, outrunning his 37 percent approval rating by 11 points. Trump’s “favorability rating” is higher at 41 percent.

Really sticking it to the libs on Wednesday, the New York Post reported “internet sleuths” had found that Daily Show Monday night host Jon Stewart is a total hypocrite because he “overvalued” his condo in 2014 and then ten years later explained to the audience why Trump doing the same when lying to banks was not a victimless crime as Donald and his minions have kept insisting.

Thing is that Stewart didn’t “overvalue” his condo so much as just sell it for $17.5 million, significantly higher than the “market-value” of only $1.882 million. The $17.5 million was what financier Parag Pande was willing to pay for it, and he did. Stewart did not just make up a number in order to use it as collateral to obtain loans from a bank, which was what Trump did.

After last week's news that convicted felon Paul Manafort may rejoin Donald Trump's campaign, I'm asking the DNI to declassify details about Manafort's connections to Russian operatives from a Senate Intel report on Russian interference in the 2016 election to benefit Trump. https://t.co/Qjm9KTCOr0

— Ron Wyden (@RonWyden) March 27, 2024

Quite refreshing to see amid the asymmetry of a Republican majority House constantly stirring up bullshit to help their guy in the election while the Democratic Senate just twiddle their thumbs, but this is just an idea now… Let’s see if it actually ends up happening at some point.

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer on Wednesday told Fox News he will not be opening an investigation into Jared Kushner’s ongoing influence peddling scams, claiming they’re “legitimate,” but Hunter Biden’s were not and that Democrat Ranking Member Jamie Raskin’s request that the committee look into Kush was only meant to “shield President Biden from oversight.” Pussy.

Separately this week Comer told some MAGA podcaster that his impeachment effort failed because US Attorney General Merrick Garland is “working with the deep state, who’s working with the liberal mainstream media to try to indoctrinate into people’s minds that there’s no evidence.”

“US District Judge Brian J Davis has sentenced Samuel Arthur Thompson (53, St Augustine) to 220 years in federal prison, followed by a lifetime of supervised release, for producing, receiving, and possessing child sex abuse material, producing CSAM while required to register as a sex offender, violating the Sex Offender Registration and Notification Act, sending unauthorized damaging commands to a protected computer, and possessing a firearm as a convicted felon. The court also ordered Thompson to forfeit computers and a firearm that were used in the offenses. Thompson was convicted by a federal jury on November 17, 2023,” says a Justice Department press release.

It’s not clear why the judge tacked on the lifetime of supervised release to a convict who is never going to be released. Maybe it was just a little extra “fuck you” to the scumbag.

“Judge Juan Merchan, who is suffering from an acute case of Trump Derangement Syndrome (whose daughter represents Crooked Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Adam ‘Shifty’ Schiff, and other Radical Liberals, has just posted a picture of me behind bars, her obvious goal, and makes it completely impossible for me to get a fair trial) has now issued another illegal, un-American, unConstitutional ‘order,’ as he continues to try and take away my Rights. This Judge, by issuing a vicious ‘Gag Order,’ is wrongfully attempting to deprive me of my First Amendment Right to speak out against the Weaponization of Law Enforcement, including the fact that Crooked Joe Biden, Merrick Garland, and their Hacks and Thugs are tracking and following me all across the Country, obsessively trying to persecute me, while everyone knows I have done nothing wrong!”

“So, let me get this straight, the Judge’s daughter is allowed to post pictures of her ‘dream’ of putting me in jail, the Manhattan DA is able to say whatever lies about me he wants, the Judge can violate our Laws and Constitution at every turn, but I am not allowed to talk about the attacks against me, and the Lunatics trying to destroy my life, and prevent me from winning the 2024 Presidential Election, which I am dominating? Maybe the Judge is such a hater because his daughter makes money by working to ‘Get Trump,’ and when he rules against me over and over again, he is making her company, and her, richer and richer. How can this be allowed?”

https://youtu.be/rPtr6CwVrrg

Sorry for getting to this late, but former Acting Attorney General Jeff Rosen is taking the stand in a DC Bar misconduct hearing against Trump toady Jeffrey Clark, the former Acting Associate Attorney General who the fat bastard tried to install to run the Justice Department in hopes of creating a pretext to overturn his humiliating defeat to now-President Joe Biden in the 2020 election.

“This lawsuit, brought by twenty-six Pennsylvania State Representatives and one Pennsylvania Senator, challenges certain executive actions regarding voter registration taken by both United States President Joseph R Biden and various federal officials and Pennsylvania Governor Joshua Shapiro and various state officials on the ground that these executive actions violate both the Electors and Elections Clauses of the United States Constitution. Before the court are the motions to dismiss for failure to state a claim and lack of jurisdiction filed by the Federal and State Defendants.”

“The motions to dismiss will be granted because this court does not have subject matter jurisdiction due to Plaintiffs’ lack of standing to raise the claims at issue,” wrote US District Judge Jennifer P Wilson – a Trump appointee – tossing a lawsuit the Orange Allah demanded last year.

🚨 @GOPoversight has worked expeditiously to expose the Biden Administration’s radical environmental policies and unchecked regulations that have jeopardized economic opportunities & raised energy costs.

Americans deserve to hear directly from DOE @SecGranholm.👇 https://t.co/eTy6BhnvkP

— Rep. James Comer (@RepJamesComer) March 27, 2024

Former RNC chair and more recently former NBC “talent” Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel is considering taking her more recent former employer to court over not just the $600,000 for the two-year contract, but with defamation claims against her former colleagues, Politico Playbook reports.

“The part that pisses me off most about this is not necessarily that they folded, it’s they allowed their talent to drag Ronna through the mud and make it seem like they were innocent bystanders,” a person close to Not-Romney said, the “mud” meaning all the stolen election shit she talked.

Fair is fair on the contract. NBC News promised Ronna $300,000 a year for two years and she should get it in full, as disgusting and shameful this whole fucking thing has been. It’s the defamation part that’s going to be interesting, to say the least, should she want to pursue it. The old “JUST WAIT FOR DISCOVERY” very much applies here, so if she wants to litigate everything she’s said publicly since the 2020 election to try to prove malice on the part of the actual NBC on-air talent who shit-talked her on live television the last few days, well… Please, please do it Ronna.

The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals late Tuesday froze Texas Governor Low Energy Greg Abbott’s law allowing local law enforcement to detain suspected undocumented immigrants, the AP reports.