MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon on Thursday apparently decided that completely dismissing 32 charges against fat former President Trump for stealing classified documents from the White House probably wasn’t going to fly with the public or the rest of the judicial system so she denied the motion and settled for more subtle ways to sabotage the government’s case against fat Donald.

West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin is unlikely to do it, but tells CNN he hasn’t completely closed the door on un-retiring and running as an independent for his seat against fellow corrupt coal baron Governor Jim Justice, all but certain to defeat whatever scrub Democrat shows up.

“I think that’s a long, long, long-shot scenario,” Manchin said. “So I don’t anticipate that happening. I don’t anticipate running,” but added “I don’t know if anything in Washington, DC is 100 percent.”

The letter adds: “potentially allowing China to track the locations of Federal employees and contractors, build dossiers of personal information for blackmail, and conduct corporate espionage.” #TikTok #POTUS

— Edward Lawrence (@EdwardLawrence) August 7, 2020

Found the above post because Donald himself had retweeted it on August 6th, 2020, a month and a half after K-Pop fans organizing themselves on TikTok had famously sabotaged what was to be his big comeback rally in Tulsa in the middle of the pandemic. Now this is what the slob just posted:

“TIKTOK IS LESS OF A DANGER TO THE USA THAN META (FACEBOOK!), WHICH IS A TRUE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE. THEY SPENT $500,000,000 AGAINST ME AND OUR GREAT REPUBLICAN PARTY, ‘LOCKBOXES’ AND ALL, AND SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO DO THAT. TIKTOK DIDN’T. LIKE CROOKED JOE BIDEN, FACEBOOK IS A GREAT THREAT TO DEMOCRACY, AND IT WILL ONLY GET BIGGER AND STRONGER IF TIKTOK IS TAKEN OUT. DO THEM BOTH? – AND RESTRICT THE MONEY ALLOWED TO BE SPENT ON POLITICS, AND LOCKBOXES, BY META/FACEBOOK!!!”

We’re still nowhere near understanding what the fuck “LOCKBOXES” means in the context of the 2020 election. Is it that Zuckerberg’s funding for local elections offices helped them install more ballot drop boxes or something? We’re only conversational in MAGA horsehit, not quite fluent, so if one of the friendly right wingers in our audience can translate that’d be helpful to us.

“Defendant has moved for an adjournment or dismissal based on claimed discovery violations, and also seeks to adjourn the start of trial by 90 days because of the production since March 4, 2024 of approximately 73,000 pages of records by the United States Attorney’s Office. These records were produced in response to defendant’s January 18, 2024 subpoena to that office. The People’s opposition to defendant’s motion is currently due tomorrow, March 15. The People’s opposition will set out in detail our full compliance with Article 245 throughout the discovery process in this case.”

“We submit this notice in advance of that opposition to advise the Court of additional developments yesterday, after defendant filed his motion and after the People submitted our one- page letter response. Specifically, yesterday the USAO produced approximately 31,000 pages of additional records and represented that there will be another production of documents by next week.”

“Based on our initial review of yesterday’s production, those records appear to contain materials related to the subject matter of this case, including materials that the People requested from the USAO more than a year ago and that the USAO previously declined to provide. These developments do not affect the People’s compliance with all obligations under Article 245 and certainly do not warrant dismissal, and the People are ready for trial on March 25. Nonetheless, in light of the distinctive circumstances described below, the People do not oppose a brief adjournment of up to 30 days to permit sufficient time for defendant to review the USAO productions,” writes Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg in a Thursday filing to Judge Juan Merchan, before going on about 157 pages of relevant testimony that SDNY dragged their asses on producing to both sides.

Bragg notes that “the timing of the current production of additional materials from the USAO is a function of defendant’s own delay,” but of course this is going to be spun as a win by the fat defendant and his fanboys as “exonerating” and “the case has collapsed” and blah blah blah.

“Dear user, As you may know, your elected officials in Texas are requiring us to verify your age before allowing you access to our website. Not only does this impinge on the rights of adults to access protected speech, it fails strict scrutiny by employing the least effective and yet also most restrictive means of accomplishing Texas’s stated purpose of allegedly protecting minors.”

“While safety and compliance are at the forefront of our mission, providing identification every time you want to visit an adult platform is not an effective solution for protecting users online, and in fact, will put minors and your privacy at risk. Attempting to mandate age verification without any means to enforce at scale gives platforms the choice to comply or not, leaving thousands of platforms open and accessible. As we’ve seen in other states, such bills have failed to protect minors, by driving users from those few websites which comply, to the thousands of websites, with far fewer safety measures in place, which do not comply.” “Very few sites are able to compare to the robust Trust and Safety measures we currently have in place. To protect minors and user privacy, any legislation must be enforced against all platforms offering adult content. Unfortunately, the Texas law for age verification is ineffective, haphazard, and dangerous. Not only will it not actually protect children, but it will also inevitably reduce content creators’ ability to post and distribute legal adult content and directly impact their ability to share the artistic messages they want to convey with it,” says PornHub in a message to Texans visiting the site. Lol at the “artistic messages” part.

More seriously the Republican voting porn lovers and the assclowns who are eligible to vote but didn’t have only themselves to thank for this. You could’ve had Beto O’Rourke in the governor’s mansion and a Dem legislature that would never pass this kind of bullshit. Serves you right.

Florida MAGA Congressman Rapey McForehead was subpoenaed by a now 20-something year-old woman who says McForehead had sex with her when she was 17 to sit for a deposition in a defamation and racketeering lawsuit brought by Gaetz’s bro, former Florida House member and lobbyist Chris Dorworth, against the woman and other parties, ABC News reports.

The DC Circuit Court of Appeals on Thursday told former Trump White House Economic something and failed board game entrepreneur Peter Navarro tough shit on his attempt to delay reporting to federal prison for a four month bid on a criminal contempt of Congress conviction.

“ORDERED that the motion for release pending appeal be denied. Appellant has not shown that his appeal presents substantial questions of law or fact likely to result in reversal, a new trial, a sentence that does not include a term of imprisonment, or a reduced sentence of imprisonment that is less than the amount of time already served plus the expected duration of the appeal process,” the three judge panel wrote as Navarro faces a deadline to report to the slammer on Tuesday.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Congressman Jim Jordan on Thursday threatened to hold Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis in contempt for ignoring his bitching and complaining about her prosecution of fat former President Trump and his minions in the Peach State.

“Today, House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan (R-OH) sent a letter to Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis threatening to begin contempt of Congress proceedings for Willis’s failure to comply with the Committee’s subpoena and document requests. The Committee issued a subpoena on February 2, 2024, after several attempts to obtain voluntary compliance. The subpoena compelled the production of two specific categories of documents: (1) documents and communications relating to the Fulton County District Attorney’s Office’s (FCDAO) receipt and use of federal funds and (2) documents and communications relating to any allegations of the misuse of federal funds by the FCDAO,” said Jordan’s House Judiciary Committee in a statement.

“As I’m on the record saying in the past, what happened in Sandy Hook was an absolute tragedy. I am not and have never been of the opinion that the events did not take place. Again, I hope that we learn from this and other tragedies to identify the signs that will allow us to prevent unnecessary loss of life. My thoughts and prayers continue to remain with the families affected along with the entire Sandy Hook community ❤️” writes New York Jets quarterback and RFK Jr running mate hopeful Aaron Rodgers in a very carefully curated statement on his unorthodox beliefs.

Must really want that second string spot on the RFK offense squad.

Funny how Schumer isn't calling for new elections to replace the leadership of China or Iran. https://t.co/Jk35tDo96a

— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) March 14, 2024

Wonder what this dipshit gets paid to write for the “traditional” conservative outlet. In related news Chuck Schumer’s call for new elections in Israel was met with a less stupid but similarly obtuse take by Mitch McConnell, who said “It is grotesque and hypocritical for Americans who hyperventilate about foreign interference in our own democracy to call for the removal of a democratically elected leader of Israel. This is unprecedented. We should not treat fellow democracies this way at all,” as if an asshole like Netanyahu could ever be reasonably described as a “small-d democrat.”

Four or maybe five times indicted New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, finding himself a few gold bars short on the funds needed to pay his and his wife’s massive legal defense bills in the upcoming trial on charges that’ll probably put them away for life if sentenced to the max, is looking outside the Congress box for how to keep his attorneys happy and wealthy as he also faces the imminent end of his time in public office too as he has zero chance of clinching the Democratic nomination.

NBC’s Julie Tsirkin reports the idea that’s being floated – very similar to one already understood to be currently in action by other corrupt assclown George Santos – is Menendez running as an independent to raise campaign funds to pay for his legal fees. Getting people to actually to donate is a different story, of course. Then there’s that Menendez’s trial is in less than two months, and it’s probably not going to take very long. Egypt might as well kick in with some straw donations, get a little more ROI before he’s convicted and hopefully fucking finally expelled after that.

It seems indicted Republican “informant” and Russian asset Alex Smirnov and disgraced former President Trump have some friends in common, as the Guardian reports Smirnov was paid $600,000 by Texas company Economic Transformation Technologies in 2020 – the same year he filed his false report to the FBI – and ETT’s UK branch is co-owned by Pakistani-American investor Shahal Khan who has partnered with Trump on a number of projects. Also listed as an adviser on ETT’s American website is Farooq Arjomand, a former chairman and current board member of Damac Properties in Dubai, the company holding the license for the Trump International Gold Club in the gilded emirate.

It’s not clear what the hell ETT does, as its website makes it sound like NXIVM or some shit. “ETT set up the chess board to bring in top notch executives from those sectors to help implement its vision of love and social impact to improve the quality of human existence through the application of ‘new age’ technologies,” whatever the fuck that means. Surely we can look forward to the Senate Judiciary Committee hauling Condon and his buddies in to explain themselves.

Something to be said about these new Biden 2024 signs spotted in Brooklyn recently. One is that Brooklyn is not a swing county and the only place you’ll ever see a Trump sign is in the hardcore Hasidic neighborhoods like Borough Park and East Williamsburg, so it might be a little to early to hope to see these dot lawns and highways across the swing states. But it sure is pretty distinctive and in a good way compared to simply “BIDEN HARRIS 2024” in generic block letters.

House Republicans invited fat former President Trump to speak to them at their annual retreat in West Virginia this week, only for the twice-impeached loser to turn them down, CNN’s Melanie Zanona reports, adding that their Orange God Emperor would rather be in federal court in Florida to sit in on some tedious evidentiary hearing that he did not at all have to be present for.

A Thursday piece by the Daily Beast doesn’t add much to what’s already known about the schedule for disgraced former President Trump’s upcoming trial over the last-minute interference in the 2016 election by paying Stormy Daniels to stay quiet over their 45-second sexual encounter from 2006: Trump will have to be in court four days a week, 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM with Wednesdays off so Judge Juan Merchan can handle other cases, prosecutors say they the’ll need 15 to 17 days for testimony and presentation – which isn’t accounting for cross-examinations, and that it’s expected to last until mid-to-late May – or longer if Trump’s team can score a week off for Passover but that’s TBD.

It’s just that it’s kind of hard to appreciate before seeing it all laid out the way the Beast did, estimating the impact on his campaign during a crucial stretch when money’s supposed to be pouring in – and they didn’t even get too deep into what it would mean for the fat fuck himself. The time, energy, and focus required to sit there quietly while Joe Biden is less tethered is probably beyond Trump’s capacities, especially the way he’s been lately. To show up on time on a Monday after hitting the swing states both weekend days and trying to squeeze in another on Wednesday for nine or 10 weeks straight is going to be an immense strain on him physically and mentally.

The Beast writes that the irony is that it might incentivize Trump to act out during the trial and prompt Merchan to order him removed from the courtroom. Except if he pushes the judge’s buttons too hard it could end up with Donald getting tossed in a jail cell for a few days which, all bullshit about how much “sympathy” that would stir up aside, would on balance not be a good look and further the Orange God Emperor’s spiral into utter madness while he’s running for his life.

Exclusive — Donald Trump: ‘I Will Never Do Anything that Will Jeopardize or Hurt Social Security or Medicare’ https://t.co/pRIgs8mWrH

— Jason Miller (@JasonMillerinDC) March 14, 2024

The DNC are taking the threat posed by third party presidential candidate assclowns like RFK Jr, Jill Stein, and Cornel West very seriously this cycle and for the first time are putting together a team aimed specifically at crushing them on messaging and ballot access, NBC News reports.

Leading the communications side of the effort is veteran Dem operative Lis Smith, who led Pete Buttigieg’s 2020 campaign to victory in Iowa, while DNC insiders Mary Beth Cahill and Ramsey Reid will work on the oppo and legal sides, all working to keep the scrubs’ vote share closer to the 1.5 percent they took in 2020 than the 5 percent they were able to scrounge up in 2016.

“We’re facing an unprecedented election and we know the GOP is already working to prop up third-party candidates like RFK Jr to make them stalking horses for Donald Trump,” said Smith’s deputy Matt Corridoni. “With so much on the line, we’re not taking anything for granted. We’re going to make sure voters are educated and we’re going to make sure all candidates are playing by the rules.”

President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign will soon begin an all-out blitzkrieg on housing policy messaging, a clusterfuck of an issue with few obvious or easy solutions, particularly when it comes to rental costs these days, Politico reports on the kind of shit that Trump is just going to respond to with “I know housing. I’m in real estate. I used to build housing for the Blacks in New York City.”

“A Massachusetts man was sentenced today to three years and six months in prison for sending a communication containing a bomb threat to an election official in the Arizona Secretary of State’s Office. According to court documents, on or about Feb 14, 2021, James W Clark, 40, of Falmouth, sent a message via the Arizona Secretary of State’s website through ‘Contact Elections,’ addressing the election official by her first name and warning her that she needed to ‘resign by Tuesday February 16th by 9 am or the explosive device impacted in her personal space will be detonated.'”

“Shortly after transmitting the message, Clark conducted online searches that included the full name of the election official in conjunction with the words ‘how to kill’ and ‘address.’ Additionally, on or about Feb 18, 2021, Clark conducted online searches involving the Boston Marathon bombing.”

“In response to Clark ‘s message, law enforcement conducted partial evacuations and bomb sweeps of the building in which the Arizona Secretary of State’s Office was located, including an evacuation of the floor of the Office of the Arizona Governor located in the same building. Law enforcement also conducted bomb sweeps of the election official’s personal residence and of the official’s car. Clark pleaded guilty in August 2023 to one count of making a threatening interstate communication… This case is part of the Justice Department’s Election Threats Task Force. Announced by Attorney General Merrick B Garland and launched by Deputy Attorney General Lisa O Monaco in June 2021, the task force has led the Department’s efforts to address threats of violence against election workers, and to ensure that all election workers – whether elected, appointed, or volunteer – are able to do their jobs free from threats and intimidation” says a Justice Department press release.