High school dropout Congresswoman Lauren Boebert’s 18 year-old son Tyler is one bad hombre according to a report by Westword.com on the charges he’s facing. A very bad hombre.

Documents allege Tyler’s crime spree included making a sex tape with a female minor and at least one other male who is/was also a minor, robbing a woman who suffers from a brain tumor of $75 cash, the only money she had “left to her name,” stealing credit and debit cards from cars parked at the Kum and Go (lol) in Rifle, Colorado – while wearing a “Shooters Grill” hoodie, and racking up hundreds of dollars in charges at the store as well as at Shein.com and other online retailers.

“I love my son Tyler, who has been through some very difficult, public challenges for a young man and the subject of attention that he didn’t ask for. It breaks my heart to see my child struggling and in this situation, especially when he has been provided multiple opportunities to get his life on track. I will never give up on him and I will continue to be there for him. As an adult and father, Tyler will take responsibility for his actions and should be held accountable for poor decisions just like any other citizen,” said Tyler’s QAnon fan mom in a statement. Her tweet declaring that “The Biden Crime Family will go down as the most corrupt political family in American history,” posted the same day as Tyler’s arrest, still hasn’t been taken down yet. Might as well just leave it up.

Thousands upon thousands of cable news hits promising the exposure and utter destruction of the “Biden Crime Family” and here we are with two of the MAGA-est Congressmen, Greg Steube and Andy Biggs, trying to settle down the expectations they created with their endless bullshit hype.

So disastrous has this week been for them that on Thursday California Dem Congressman Robert Garcia went right to the floor with a brutal takedown of Jared Kushner and the “Trump Crime Family.”

Pennsylvania Governor’s office press release: “As part of his commitment to ensure safe and secure elections in Pennsylvania, Governor Shapiro has established the Pennsylvania Election Threats Task Force. Led by Secretary of the Commonwealth Al Schmidt, the Task Force is comprised of federal, state, and local security, law enforcement, and election administration partners who are working together to share information and coordinate plans to mitigate threats to the election process, protect voters from intimidation, and provide voters with accurate, trusted election information.”

“‘Pennsylvania is the birthplace of American democracy, and we are working to continue defending Pennsylvanians’ fundamental freedoms and ensure we have a free, fair, safe, secure election this November. As Attorney General, I brought law enforcement leaders at every level together to ensure our elections remained free from fraud, interference, and intimidation here in Pennsylvania – and I made a commitment to continuing that work as Governor,’ said Governor Josh Shapiro.”

“‘We take our responsibility as stewards of our democracy seriously and the Election Threats Task Force will ensure all levels of government are working together to combat misinformation, safeguard the rights of every citizen, and ensure this election is safe, secure, free, and fair.’ As Attorney General, Shapiro went to court dozens of times to defend Pennsylvanians’ right to vote and ensure every legal vote was counted. He prosecuted voter fraud and voter intimidation cases, upholding the rule of law and protecting Pennsylvanians’ rights. In recent years, Pennsylvania has strengthened election administration and improved election integrity by adopting new, state-of-the-art voting systems with auditable paper trails that changed how voters cast their ballot, as well as the introduction of no-excuse mail-in voting in 2020. ‘In recent years, we’ve seen bad-faith actors attempt to exploit these changes by spreading lies and baseless conspiracy theories to delegitimize our safe, secure, and accurate elections,’ said Secretary of the Commonwealth Al Schmidt.

The latest House scorecard from the Cook Political Report finds that, after some mid-cycle redistricting that New York Democrats bitched out of going as far as they could have with retaliating against the North Carolina GOP, there are 210 solid/likely/lean Republican seats to 204 solid/likely/lean Dem seats and 21 toss-ups, of which 11 are held by Dems and 10 by Republicans.

Zero currently Dem-held seats are in the solid/likely/lean Republican columns while two Red seats are on the blue side, which helps make this bummer of a rating go down a little easier.

Donald, man. Check the tape. pic.twitter.com/PwXb9iqP4j

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) February 29, 2024

President Joe Biden’s campaign on Thursday snappily responded to fat former President Trump’s Wednesday night video disputing whether he called Melania “Mercedes” and follow-up rant from earlier this morning demanding “Crooked Joe Biden must take a Cognitive Test. Maybe that way we would be able to find out why he makes such terrible decisions. I took two of them, and ACED them both (no mistakes!). All Presidents, or people wanting to become President, should mandatorily take this test!” Might as well twist the knife when Trump’s making it clear it’s already under his skin.

The opening line of Thursday morning’s Politico Playbook plays on lyrics from Atlanta rapper Ludacris’s 2002 hit “Move Bitch” ft Mystikal and I-20 to segue into what the aftermath of Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell’s surrender to MAGA would look like. Not hard to imagine that a millennial-aged Politico writer thought they were being extra clever getting it past their boomer or Gen-X-born editor as a person unfamiliar with the fairly obnoxious and uninspired track.

Further down is an actually newsworthy quote from a Senate GOP source on the plans to maneuver a MAGA Republican into the top spot rather than would-be McConnell successors and current lieutenants John Barrasso, John Cornhole Cornyn, and John Thune. “The idea that it’s just between the ‘Three Johns’ is an outdated narrative from a year ago. There will be somebody else – and possibly a scenario where none of the ‘Johns’ can get consensus, so it takes another candidate to step in,” the source said. There’s no mention of Rick Scott as a potential leader, lol.

Maricopa county at its finest…

My first time ever voting in a presidential preference election and I received not one but two mail-in ballots 🫣

Thank you @stephen_richer pic.twitter.com/DSLtZK4SU9

— Aubrey Savela (@aubrey_savela) February 29, 2024

Maricopa County, Arizona Recorder Stephen Richer, a Republican who constantly catches a lot of shit from paranoid MAGA assholes for their “election integrity” conspiracy theories, cheerfully put on his customer service hat in response to this deranged Karen’s complaining late Wednesday with “Hi Aubrey! Thanks for reaching out. You changed your voter registration on the last day of voter registration (Feb 20) from your Chandler address to your new Tempe address. Because early ballots must go out on Feb 21, your Chandler ballot was already set to go out, and so it did. Then we sent out a new ballot to your Tempe address when we processed your voter registration modification.”

“That’s why you had to redact out different lengths in the address (because they were sent to different addresses). You’ll also notice that one of packet codes ends in ’01’ (the one to your old address) and one ends in ’02’ (the one sent to your new address). As soon as the ’02’ one goes out, the ’01’ packet is dead. Meaning even if you sent it back, it wouldn’t proceed to signature verification, and it wouldn’t be opened. That’s how we prevent people from voting twice. So just use the one with your new address ending in ’02’ – that’s the only one that will work. Hope this helps!”

“Have a great night! Happy voting!” Richer concluded. He should’ve recorded a video and put on a really patronizing voice, but you can easily imagine it while reading through his response.

The Palestinian Health Ministry claims least 104 Gazans have been killed and 760 injured as Israeli troops opened fire on a crowd that rushed food aid trucks Thursday, CNN’s Jim Sciutto reports.

More than 100 rabbits were rescued in what the Bunny World Foundation [no, really, it’s an actual animal welfare group] called a likely “hoarding situation” in the Granada Hills neighborhood of Los Angeles, NBC News reports.  BWF President Lejla Hadzimuratovic said the situation apparently started months ago when a man in the neighborhood saw a bunny in an alley, then noticed another a few days later.  Soon, he saw a rabbit in his backyard and then another, and then the first rabbit strangely playing with a skunk in his garage.  (Look, guys, it’s Los Angeles.  It was Florida before Florida was Florida.)

Well, it took the guy a few months before he realized he had a big problem… and growing.  When the BWF got to the property on February 24, it removed more than 70 rabbits and bunnies, including some who were pregnant and nursing.  Three days later, the group was called back to the property to collect another group of thirty the homeowner found.  While they were collecting those, control officers saw “multiple litters” that hid under the house and were unable to be trapped.  The BWF expects to have to return to the property multiple times because… y’know… rabbits.

The Teamsters and Anheuser-Busch reached an agreement on a five-year contract that includes an average 23% wage increase for workers, including an immediate $4.00 per hour raise (on average), averting a strike that would have taken 5,000 workers off production lines, CNN reports.  The agreement is pending approval by union members.

While this is another victory in the labor-management partnership that has prospered in the Biden administration, it was also somewhat of a surprise given that the Teamsters walked out of a meeting on Wednesday afternoon, saying the company’s offer “continues to ignore many of the Teamsters’ key issues. They are lowballing workers on wages, they’re not investing enough money in our members’ pensions, and they’ve made no firm commitment on job protections.”  Those issues were apparently addressed quickly in the follow-up meeting.

Doesn’t the video still-frame look like a promo photo from a low-budget failed spinoff for Love Connection: Sugar Daddy Edition?  But that’s not the best part of this clip from Trump advisor Sean Hannity’s show.  Check out Dr. Congressman Feelgood Ronny Jackson, Republican of Texas, who a Pentagon Inspector General found oversaw a pill mill, for all intents and purposes, while he was White House Physician.  Dr. Popper seems to have enjoyed a bit of something before appearing on Fox.

With Ted Cruz packing his bags if it gets too smoky down south, more than 850,000 acres of the Texas panhandle remain on fire, with Republican Governor Greg Abbott declaring all or parts of 60 counties a disaster area, NBC News reports.

The fire and smoke was so bad that it forced the partial evacuation of the Pantex nuclear weapons facility in Amarillo, the only nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly location in the country.  A death in the town of Borger has been blamed on the fire, which is currently the second largest in the state’s history and is reportedly only 3% contained.

“What are the Democrats doing?  They are paying liberal students to register more liberal students with taxpayer money,” Autotune celebrity and future last chair of the RNC Lara Trump yells into a microphone.  “Imagine that Donald Trump while President, impacted an election and influenced voters with taxpayer money.  We know the impeachment would already be drawn up and signed.”

Yeah, Lara, they would be.  In fact, they were:  that’s exactly what Trump was accused of doing in his first impeachment.  He threatened to withhold aid to Ukraine–paid with US taxpayer dollars–unless Ukraine’s president helped slander Joe Biden.  Does he not remember?  Does she not remember her father-in-law’s first impeachment?  Is she having memory issues?  Is she cognizant enough to run the RNC?  She seems feeble.

Hard to run from prison, Ken https://t.co/6oQ3oMqjCN

— Senator John Cornyn (@JohnCornyn) February 29, 2024

Sometimes, when the enemy of your enemies are still your enemies, you still gotta give them props for a legit social media game.  And US Senator John Cornyn’s got it in spades.  But Cornyn takes it to fellow Republican Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who’s keeping one eye on a potential hurdle in his political career and his other eye on his upcoming criminal fraud trial.

A Cook County, Illinois judge ruled on Wednesday that Donald Trump is ineligible for office for violating the 14th Amendment, making Illinois the third state to officially make such a ruling, with other states waiting to act until the Supreme Court rules on Colorado’s effort, the Chicago Sun-Times reports.

Judge Tracie Porter stated that her order would be immediately put on hold in anticipation of an appeal, and she said it would also be put on hold if the Supreme Court rules to overturn the Colorado Supreme Court’s decision.  Colorado’s primary is scheduled for next Tuesday, while the Illinois primaries are slotted for March 19th.

New York Democrat Tom Suozzi, the not-George Santos, was sworn in for his House seat representing New York’s 3rd District, saying that people are fed up with Washington gridlock, even as he closes the GOP majority in the House to 219-213, with three seats vacant.  “Enough of the hyperbole and the histrionics.  Enough of the shutdowns and the put-downs.  The people aren’t paying us to make things worse.  The people pay us to be in the solutions business,” he said in his most recent first speech on the House floor.  (He had previously represented the district, so it’s not his first first House address.)

“Legal Scholars are extremely thankful for the Supreme Court’s Decision today to take up Presidential Immunity. Without Presidential Immunity, a President will not be able to properly function, or make decisions, in the best interest of the United States of America. Presidents will always be concerned, and even paralyzed, by the prospect of wrongful prosecution and retaliation after they leave office. This could actually lead to the extortion and blackmail of a President. The other side would say, ‘If you don’t do something, just the way we want it, we are going to go after you when you leave office, or perhaps even sooner,'” Trump posted on his failing social media platform.

“Page 2: A President has to be free to determine what is right for our Country without undue pressure. If there is no Immunity, the Presidency, as we know it, will “no longer exist.” Many actions for the benefit of our Country will not be taken. This is in no way what the Founders had in mind. Legal Experts and Scholars have stated that the President must have Full Presidential Immunity. A President must be free to make proper decisions. His mind must be clear, and he must not be guided by the fear of retribution!”

“We are in agreement that Congress must work in a bipartisan manner to fund our government.
Negotiators have come to an agreement on six bills: Agriculture-FDA, Commerce-Justice and Science, Energy and Water Development, Interior, Military Construction-VA, and Transportation-HUD. After preparing final text, this package of six full year Appropriations bills will be voted on and enacted prior to March 8. These bills will adhere to the Fiscal Responsibility Act discretionary spending limits and January’s topline spending agreement,” says a joint statement from House Speaker Mike Johnson, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Minority Leader Jeffries, House Appropriations Committee Chair Kay Granger and Ranking Member Rosa DeLauro, and Senate Appropriations Committee Chair Patty Murray and Vice Chair Susan Collins. No House Freedom Caucasians signed on to the statement. Here’s the bill.

Calling it “a vast overreach that is full of poison pills that go way too far, far beyond ensuring legal access to IVF,” and other such bullshit, Republican Mississippi Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith on Wednesday blocked a bill protecting in-vitro fertilization brought by Dem Illinois Senator Tammy Duckworth, who had sought to pass it by unanimous consent, the Huffington Post reports.

The US Supreme Court on Wednesday took up disgraced former President Trump’s bid for “presidential immunity” in the case brought by Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith over the fat fuck’s post-2020 election coup attempt, setting arguments for April 22nd and seriously jeopardizing any chance of a timely trial prior to the 2024 election.