https://youtu.be/ESmIix1X-zM

Hours after reports emerged that Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel offered her resignation to Lord High Monarch and One Who Shall Not Be Challenged Donald Trump, stuffed foam magnate Mike Lindell told multi-shirted criminal Steve Bannon he’s ready to step into the breach to save the RNC, saying it will empower him with “the tools [he needs] to secure these elections immediately.” Unreassuringly, there is a non-zero chance Lindell would win a Party election.

Earlier reporting that Donald Trump appeared to back away from the conservative culture war boycott of Bud Light led me to speculate in the comments that he was begging the Busch family–of the Anheuser-Busch Busches–for campaign donations.  Turns out, the reason might be more obvious:  Donald Trump needs money, and he holds as much as $5 million in stock of Bud Light’s parent company, InBev, as the Daily Beast reports.  Trump’s InBev shares, noted on financial disclosures, reportedly netted him income between $30,000 and $100,000 in the last year.

Investigators uncovered evidence that the mid-cabin door plug that blew out of an Alaska Airlines aircraft’s fuselage after takeoff in January had not been secured with any bolts at the time of the accident, USA Today reports, meaning basically nothing but friction was holding the panel in place over multiple flights.

After recovering the panel and its hardware, investigators realized the four points where the panel was supposed to be attached to the plane’s frame were peculiarly undamaged when they were inspected.  The parts didn’t show the expected shearing or wear patterns indicative that the bolts broke off or loosened over time; the lack of damage indicates the bolts were never in place.

Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s ongoing effort on Tuesday to impeachment someone, anyone from the Biden Administration because her political god Donald Trump was justly impeached got torpedoed when Texas Democratic Congressman Al Green was wheeled into the chamber to vote, according to Bloomberg Government reporter Jonathan Tamari.

Green, you see, had an unspecified surgery earlier in the day, and he was brought into the House chamber while wearing hospital scrubs under his suit coat to comply with the decorum of the House.  Republicans waited until Green was scheduled for surgery to hold the vote to impeach Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas because they did not have enough votes thanks to a handful of Republicans putting their Constitutional duty over partisan performance art.

“Wouldn’t it’ve been nice to still have Kevin McCarthy in the House of Representatives,” Republican Florida Congressman and uncle who gives his nieces weird vibes Matt Gaetz complains to former somebody Eric Bolling.  “Never thought you’d hear me say that, but Kevin McCarthy after being dislodged from Speaker, took his marbles and went home.  He would’ve been a reliable vote for impeachment, but if he wasn’t Speaker, he wasn’t willing to stick around and I think the errant expulsion of Santos and the abject selfishness of Kevin McCarthy contributed to this result as much as the three Republican members who voted ‘no’ sincerely.”

Let’s get this straight:  Gaetz pushed to oust Kevin McCarthy from the Speaker’s chair because McCarthy allowed the Ethics Committee to reopen an investigation into Gaetz’s alleged sex trafficking, and now it’s McCarthy’s fault that Congress ejected the admitted conman Santos, who was needed to pass this “legitimate impeachment.”  TL;DR:  Gaetz is just dumb.

Republican National Committee chair Ronna Romney McDaniel will resign as chair of the Party, the New York Times reports.  A product of nepotism–her uncle is former GOP presidential candidate and Utah Senator Mitt Romney–RRM oversaw one of the bleakest periods in Republican Party history, as it became a cult.  The Times reports McDaniel told Trump she will step down after the upcoming South Carolina primary.

A very angry white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Tuesday explained the defeat of her impeachment article against DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas by saying the Democrats hid one of their members so she couldn’t count the votes, lol. Maybe there’s some truth to it as CNN’s Manu Raju reports Dem Al Green’s presence was unanticipated. But the bottom line is Republicans just suck at counting votes. “Maybe we shouldn’t have kicked out [George] Santos,” one person described as a “GOP aide” texted NBC News’s Sahil Kapur after the debacle.

A measure championed by Speaker gettin’-pro-temier-by-the-second Mike Johnson that would provide $17.6 billion in military and humanitarian aid to Israel failed to get the two-thirds majority needed in a parliamentary measure to pass immediately failed to get the required supermajority, ending on a 250-180 vote, dealing Johnson his second beating in an hour after the GOP’s Mayorkis impeachment failed.

Johnson crafted the measure as a publicity stunt to make it seem that Democrats did not want to support Israel, but the measure was quickly labeled a “ploy” by the White House to skirt votes on aid to Ukraine and border security legislation.

After the Marjorie Taylor-Greene-led effort to impeach a member of the Biden Administration failed by a vote of 214 to 216, with four Republicans voting not to impeach the Secretary of Homeland Security, Alejandro Mayorkas. Democrats cheered as Speaker of the House Mike Johnson announced the motion’s failure.

Colorado Republican Congressman Ken Buck told CNN in a televised interview that Preacher of the House Mike Johnson would reintroduce the impeachment resolution on Wednesday, after Louisiana Republican Steve Scalise, who missed today’s vote, returns to the chamber.

[Editor’s Note:  A member of House GOP leadership changed his vote to “no”–the fourth Republican Nay–in a procedural move that will allow the resolution to be brought back to the floor for a new vote on Thursday, when Louisiana Republican Steve Scalise will be on the floor for a vote, presumably to impeach, to make it 216-215 in favor of the motion… because when you need a parliamentary trick to support an official’s impeachment, it’s surely a sign of its legitimacy.]

The final report in Biden classified documents fuckup special counsel Robert K Hur’s investigation will be issued in the next few days and – as was reported a few months ago by the Wall Street Journal – there will be no charges filed against anyone, sources tell MSNBC.

Again, Joe Biden cannot be charged with a crime as he’s currently the sitting president, per an OLC memo that anyone who followed the Mueller Investigation knows quite well, so it would follow that Hur cannot and will not try to charge Biden with any crimes. It would also follow that if Hur were to state Biden broke the law and recommend any charges to be shelved until Joe is a private citizen again then we would probably have gotten word of that from either the Journal or MSNBC.

At least Hur can look forward to Jim Jordan subpoenaing him and yelling angrily in a public hearing at him for not charging Hunter Biden with smoking crack near the docs in the garage or something.

A Miami-Dade mom tells Local10.com she’s more than a little freaked out after her kid who attends a local magnet school came home with a permission slip asking her to sign off on “class and school wide presentations showcasing the achievements and recognizing the rich and diverse traditions, histories, and innumerable contributions of the Black communities,” during February.

School Board Member Steve Gallon claims it’s more about permission for when any outside groups or individuals come to deliver presentations to kids in auditoriums and what not. “This is a policy that’s an extension of a new state board rule. We have to follow the law. We have to implement the rules that are adopted by the State Board of Education, but we cannot throw the baby out with the bath water and we have to square some obligations we have to academic freedom,” Gallon said, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. If the guy’s just trying to keep his head down and not get removed by the DeSantis Regime simply for publicly pointing out an outrageous real-world consequence of Tiny D’s reverse-reverse-racism we feel for him and maybe that’s the case.

Or he’s down with it. Either way, that he didn’t say anything like “Hey we sent parents a permission slip when the fire safety guy came for a presentation last month and then for the magician in December too and nobody complained” indicates that it’s not actually standard operating procedure and that’s just some apolitical cover for allowing parents to opt kids out of Black History month.

“The Bud Light ad was a mistake of epic proportions, and for that a very big price was paid, but Anheuser-Busch is not a Woke company, but I can give you plenty that are, am building a list, and might just release it for the World to see. Why not, the Radical Left does it viciously to well run, Conservative companies – and people! Very nasty, but it’s the way they play the game!”

“On the other hand, Anheuser-Busch spends $700 Million a year with our GREAT Farmers, employ 65 thousand Americans, of which 1,500 are Veterans, and is a Founding Corporate Partner of Folds of Honor, which provides Scholarships for families of fallen Servicemen & Women. They’ve raised over $30,000,000 and given 44,000 Scholarships. Anheuser-Busch is a Great American Brand that perhaps deserves a Second Chance? What do you think? Perhaps, instead, we should be going after those companies that are looking to DESTROY AMERICA!” decreed Allah Bin Fatfuck.

New Hampshire Attorney General John Formella on Tuesday announced his office had identified two Texas based companies and an individual as behind the fake Joe Biden robocall that went out to Granite Staters discouraging them from voting in last month’s primary, CNN reports.

“We have issued a cease-and-desist letter to Life Corporation that orders the company to immediately desist violating New Hampshire election laws. We have also opened a criminal investigation, and we are taking next steps in that investigation, sending document preservation notices and subpoenas to Life Corporation, Lingo Telecom, and any other individual or entity,” said Formella, stressing that the investigation continues and more entities will be named.

“I’m not going to give you an exact number but I can say it’s beyond the two – it’s beyond Texas Life Corporation, Walter Monk, and Lingo Telecom. There are other entities that we think have relevant information, and I would not be surprised if we discover additional entities or individuals beyond those that we have discovered up to this point,” Formella told reporters.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on Tuesday official declared the border-Israel-Ukraine bill dead, Punchbowl’s Max Cohen reports on a total capitulation to the Orange God Emperor.

Fat former President Trump went with the old L’etat c’est moi Tuesday on Truth Social after getting his ass kicked as the DC Appeals Court, writing “A President of the United States must have Full Immunity in order to properly function and do what has to be done for the good of our Country.”

“A Nation-destroying ruling like this cannot be allowed to stand. If not overturned, as it should be, this decision would terribly injure not only the Presidency, but the Life, Breath, and Success of our Country. A President will be afraid to act for fear of the opposite Party’s Vicious Retribution after leaving Office. I know from personal experience because I am going through it right now. It will become a Political Weapon used for Election Interference. Even our Elections will be corrupted and under siege. So bad, and so dangerous for our Nation. SAVE PRESIDENTIAL IMMUNITY!”

He really sold his belief that he’s right on the merits pretty well. You could actually see something sort of approximating sincerity and principle rather than just pants-pissing panic that the path to delaying the trial until after the election became far more narrow and perilous.

“As you are undoubtedly aware, in an article in the February 1, 2024 on-line edition of the New York Times, headlined ‘Trump’s Former Finance Chief in Negotiations to Plead Guilty to Perjury,’ William K Rashbaum, Jonah E Bromwich, and Ben Protess write that defendant Alan Weisselberg ‘is negotiating a deal with Manhattan prosecutors that would require him to plead guilty to perjury.’ What’s more, he ‘would have to admit that he lied on the witness stand’ in the case pending before me (and during a pre-trial interview plaintiff conducted). As the presiding magistrate, the trier of fact, and the judge of credibility, I of course want to know whether Mr Weisselberg is now changing his tune, and whether he is admitting he lied under oath in my courtroom at this trial.”

“Although the Times article focuses on the size of the Trump Tower Penthouse, his testimony on other topics could also be called into question. I also may use this as a basis to invoke falsus in uno. As the article notes ‘perjury – particularly in a high-profile trial – undermines the broader ends of justice and cannot be ignored.’ I do not want to ignore anything in a case of this magnitude. By Wednesday at 5pm, please submit, as officers of the court, a letter to me detailing anything you know about this that would not violate any of your professional ethics or obligations. I would also appreciate knowing how you think I should address this matter, if at all, including the timing of the final decision. Thank you,” writes Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron in a Tuesday email to New York AG Letitia James and fat former President Trump’s teams asking for an update in response to reporting that former Trump Org CFO Allen Weaselberg Weisselberg will plead guilty to perjury.

If that sounds bad it’s because it is bad. Very bad. “What we’re seeing here is how a company that lied to banks… allegedly had its executive lie in court… and lawyers work around those lies. Trump isn’t just losing his fraud case. His entire orbit is unraveling,” writes the Daily Beast’s Jose Pagliery.

The Huffington Post reports there’s serious doubt that the Republicans are going to be able to get the 215-ish yes votes to actually impeach the Homeland Security Secretary after two defections.

In today’s reminder that history doesn’t echo, it rhymes, Jewish Insider is reporting a Black, likely Russian-backed independent presidential candidate with the surname West sent to split votes off from Joe Biden and help Donald Trump return to the White House defended his associations with virulent antisemites, as Cornel West is saying the very Reich-y cartoons by his campaign’s art director Dwayne Booth aka Mr Fish. The cartoons depict “Zionists” drinking the blood of Gazans, the Star of David replacing a Swastika on a Nazi flag, a mock painting of a 1945 photo of newly-liberated Holocaust survivors holding up signs saying shit like “Stop US aid to Israel.”

“Like the great satirists of the past – from Jonathan Swift to Ishmael Reed – he exposes the hypocrisy and cruelty in our lives and society!” West wrote. “He’s my dear brother and I am blessed to have him as the premier art director in my presidential campaign for Truth Justice Love!”