Republican former Maryland Governor Larry Hogan probably forgot there was an abortion access measure on the ballot this year in his state before he launched his Senate campaign, the AP doesn’t report but kind of implies in a story about both likely ending up on the ballot in November – especially because his 2022 veto of expanded access is probably going to bite him in the ass.

“ALL POLITICAL PROSECUTIONS OF YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT, ME, MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY. WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ELECTION, PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION IN THE HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY, AND THESE RADICAL LEFT LUNATIC PROSECUTORS AND JUDGES ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE DOING THIS. WHY DIDN’T THEY START THREE YEARS AGO??? BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO INTERFERE WITH THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2024, THAT’S WHY!”

“According to Section 9-85.500 of the Justice Department’s Justice Manual: ‘Federal prosecutors and agents may never select the timing of any action, including investigative steps, criminal charges, or statements, for the purpose of affecting any election, or for the purpose of giving an advantage or disadvantage to any candidate or political party.’ THIS IS ELECTION INTERFERENCE, AND MUST BE IMMEDIATELY STOPPED. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY FAKE PROSECUTIONS BEFORE THE ELECTION. THIS IS COMMUNISM, AND A THREAT TO DEMOCRACY. OUR COUNTRY WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” posted fat angry Donald on Monday.

Apologies for overdoing the Trump posts, but this one’s good as, per usual, there’s a pretty major problem with it. Well, two actually. First off is that it’s traditionally only in effect 60 days before an election, and we’re currently 260 days away from November 5th. Second, is that it only applies to prosecutors, not courts. The courts are in command now and once a case starts the judge – like Tanya Chutkan – is in control of the schedule. Chutkan doesn’t care about the 2024 election.

Overnight, liberals have all become experts on the trucking industry.
Currently, America needs 85K truckers to fill the demand.
I think my job is safe
Liberals are a joke. #BoycottNY#MAGA #Trump2024 #TruckersForTrump pic.twitter.com/SwuzeqZPIf

— The Real Trucker Jake 🇺🇸 (@bigskyfit) February 19, 2024

Chicago Ray may have punked out but here comes Big Sky Jake to tell you that MAGA truckers need not worry about getting fired for declining loads to New York City in retaliation for their Orange God Emperor being “persecuted” by judges and prosecutors… because there’s a driver shortage.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s wild primary challenge revenge tour isn’t just limiting its scope to the Republican state House members who voted to impeach the Picasso-faced scumbag last year, but state appellate judges who didn’t have his back in an “election integrity” jurisdictional pissing contest with a Southeast Texas district attorney who declined to prosecute a local county sheriff over some probably made-up campaign finance crime, the Texas Tribune reports.

One of the three jurists on the Court of Criminal Appeals Paxton is targeting is Presiding Judge Sharon Keller, sort of famous for one pretty fucked-up 2007 incident for which she came preeetty close to getting disbarred over it. Complicated story as short as possible: The lib lawyers at the Texas Defender Service were trying to get a stay for a rapist and murderer named Michael Wayne Richard who was scheduled to be executed that evening. Although the US Supreme Court had already denied the stay for Richard, Los Supremos did grant one in a similar-enough case in Kentucky, the Texas Defenders called the court asking to file an emergency motion asking for a stay, but they needed more time due to computer issues. “We close at 5,” was all Keller said.

The story’s more complicated than that and the lawyers had embellished a lot of details to make Keller look bad. On top of all that it wasn’t her case and it’s not clear what the lawyers told her before she informed them the court closes at 5. Keller was eventually cleared of misconduct charges but she gained a reputation – deserved or otherwise – for being a cold, heartless bitch nicknamed “Sharon Killer.” Which makes it just pretty goddamned comical that Ken Paxton is now accusing her of being in hock to Soros. “I’ve been a conservative judge for a long time, I know the law, and I know how to run the court,” Keller told the Tribune of the Pax-backed primary challenge.

Newly uncovered research reveals that on September 1st, 1864, President Abraham Lincoln issued a pardon for Union Army veterinary surgeon Moses Robinette, who was at that point incarcerated in a military prison in the Florida Keys, serving a sentence for beating the shit out of another civilian army employee during a possibly drunken fight months earlier, the Washington Post reports.

“The sudden death of Alexei Navalny has made me more and more aware of what is happening in our Country. It is a slow, steady progression, with CROOKED, Radical Left Politicians, Prosecutors, and Judges leading us down a path to destruction. Open Borders, Rigged Elections, and Grossly Unfair Courtroom Decisions are DESTROYING AMERICA” posted the Angry Orange Man on Monday.

Much to the consternation of local cops and zoo officials an intoxicated man last week ignored the warnings of an employee and climbed into the enclosure housing a 12 year-old Asiatic lion at the Tirupati zoo in Southern India last week, the Times of India reports. “Though the watcher on duty cautioned him not to get close to the enclosure, [drunken selfie clown Prahlad Gujar] intentionally marched towards the enclosure which has a four feet wall and six feet tall iron fencing and jumped into it,” the zoo’s curator C Selvam said. “We have taken utmost precaution to prevent such incidents. We will once again review the security measures to prevent such incidents in the future.”

The zoo won’t have to worry about a repeat from Gujar himself however, as the lion mauled him to death during the incident. It’s not clear if the man was at least able to take the selfie pic.

“We can’t allow Crooked or Compromised Judges and Prosecutors to get away with what they are doing to your favorite President, ME, in New York City and State, Fulton County (Atlanta), Georgia, or Washington, DC. It is a coordinated attack on FREEDOM & LIBERTY. It is an attack on the future of our Nation,” wrote fat former President Trump on Truth Social late Sunday night, naturally skipping the crooked and compromised judge assigned to his case in South Florida.

High school dropout Congresswoman Lauren Boebert recent dropping out from her Colorado 3rd District’s primary to avoid defeat to Dem challenger Adam Fritsch and switching to the 4th to battle in a crowded primary may just end up hastening her exit from the House as she’s been facing an icy reception from the locals on the other site of the Centennial State, the Wall Street Journal reports.

“I will not vote for her. Period. She’s not one of us,” said one GOP voter. ” don’t appreciate, as a Christian, people saying they’re Christian to get your vote and then turning out to be a lowlife, and now I just kind of think of her as a lowlife,” said another. “The idea that because it’s a Republican stronghold that they’re going to nominate a fringe conservative like a Boebert in the primary is a wrong notion – this thing is a horse race,” said local Republican strategist Josh Penry.

https://twitter.com/BruinGOP/status/1758929855742410776

After a scathing review of the Supreme Court justice’s questionable financial history during Sunday’s show, John Oliver, the host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, offered Justice Clarence Thomas a guaranteed $1 million annual income and a luxury motorhome to announce his retirement from the Court within the next thirty days.

“We are prepared to offer you $1 million per year for the rest of your life if you agree to leave the Supreme Court immediately and never come back,” Oliver said grabbing what appeared to be a legal document from his desk.  “Just sign this contract, resign, and the money is all yours.  This is not a joke.  If you’ve watched this show before, you know that jokes really aren’t our thing. …  We have spoken to experts to all say that to the best they can tell, this is all legal, which is crazy to me because it really seems like it shouldn’t be.”

After raking Thomas over the coals for accepting gifts from wealthy “friends” who weren’t Thomas’s friends before he became a justice, Oliver sweetened the deal by adding in a complimentary 40-foot Prevost Marathon motorcoach worth $2.4 million, including four televisions, a washer/dryer, a full-size refrigerator, an upgrade and a bedroom with a kingsize bed–to replace the old one a donor loaned him the money for and which Thomas never paid back.

Unhappy with President Joe Biden’s policy dealing with the war in Gaza, Michigan Democratic Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib wants the state’s Democratic voters to select “uncommitted” on the ballot in the February 27th primary, CNN reports.

“It is also important to create a voting bloc,” Tlaib, the first Palestinian-American member of Congress said in a video posted to social media on Saturday. “Something that is a bullhorn to say, enough is enough. We don’t want a country that supports wars and bombs and destruction. We want to support life. We want to stand up for every single life killed in Gaza.”

Biden has been criticized by some members of the progressive wing of the Democratic House caucus for arming Israel and, they feel, under-funding aid to the Palestinian people, after the terrorist group Hamas launched an attack on Israel last October.

For the first time in its mission to protect commercial shipping traveling through the Red Sea, a US Navy ship encountered an unmanned underwater drone launched by Houthi rebels in Yemen, CBS News reports, which it destroyed.

Between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. local time, multiple ships in the force conducted “self-defense attacks” against three Houthi anti-ship missiles and a drone surface vessel.  There are no details of the attack, the device or how the US Navy vessel defeated the weapon.

Disgraced former President Trump on Sunday posted screencaps of a piece by the TIPP Insights editorial board titled “Biden:Trump::Putin:Navalny” about how “Alexei Navalny’s untimely death shines a light on the Left’s lawfare on Trump,” making it clear enough that the fat bastard agrees with the “parallels between how the Biden administration is targeting the former president of the United States and how President Putin went after his arch-nemesis,” starting with the EJ Carroll case, which literally has nothing to do with the Biden Administration.

Then it lists the New York civil fraud case, which also literally has nothing to do with the Biden Administration. Then finally the classified documents case which, okay Biden appointed Merrick Garland and then Garland appointed Jack Smith who impaneled a grand jury which handed down the indictment, so sure, Biden is behind it. Totally. What’s funny is that we were to understand that TIPP was just a pollster and had no idea they were guzzling the Orange Kool-Aid, so going forward fuck them. Can’t remember the last time we credited their findings but we won’t again soon.

At $291,043 raised as of 3:43 PM EDT on Sunday, “militant Scientologists” Trump fans Elena and Grant Cardone have reached 0.081983943 percent of the $355 million goal of their “Stand with Trump” GoFundMe, meant to cover the judgment imposed by a New York City court for the fat former president’s years of outright fraud in running his corrupt business empire, putting them just shy of the all too-important 0.1 percent milestone after just two days of the campaign.

“The recent legal battles he faces are not just an attack on him, but an attack on the very ideals of fairness and due process that every American deserves. It’s a moment that calls into question the balance of justice and the application of law, disproportionately aimed at silencing a voice that has been at the forefront of advocating for American strength, prosperity, and security,” Elena Cardone wrote in the description on the fundraiser, which at this rate will meet its goal on or about November 9th, 2030… Oh wait… Fuck, the Cardones weren’t calculating for the 9 percent interest.

Which means they should’ve set it at $450 million and puts the current haul at 0.0646762 percent of the penalty to Trump. So at this rate it’d take them until about July 13, 2032 to pay it off.

A sample of 525 historians have ranked Joe Biden 14th on the annual “Presidential Greatness Project Expert Survey” run by Brandon Rottinghaus at the University of Houston and Justin Vaughn at Coastal Carolina University, putting the current commander-in-chief behind Lincoln in first place, FDR in second, Obama at 7th, and ahead of Reagan at 16th, Carter at 22nd, and George W Bush at 32nd. You’ll never guess who’s last, behind even James Buchanan and Andrew Johnson.

MAGA lawyer Jon Mitchell, architect of Texas’s draconian ban on reproductive health and who recently argued against disgraced former President Trump’s disqualification from the Colorado ballot in front of the US Supreme Court, tells the New York Times he hopes the fat bastard “doesn’t know about the existence of” the conservative establishment’s plans to use the Comstock Act to halt the sale of abortion pills and medical equipment used in clinics for the procedure “because I just don’t want him to shoot off his mouth,” and that he thinks “the pro-life groups should keep their mouths shut as much as possible until the election,” on how things are going to go if the GOP wins big.

Pretty interesting how this asshole manages to be arrogant and hubristic enough to openly say this to the Times while simultaneously acknowledging that he’s fearful of how independent voters would react to such plans if they so happened to read up on the plans to make life much, much worse for women without having to bother with Congress or even the courts. Per Mitchell, how far they go with cracking down on females is up to “whether the president wants to take the political heat and whether the attorney general or the secretary of Health and Human Services are on board,” which you already know the answer to. Mini Timmaraju, president of Reproductive Freedom for All says Trump is “trying to masquerade in public as a moderate. It’s mind-blowing that anyone would imagine he wouldn’t do worse in a second term. He’s going to do whatever Jonathan Mitchell wants.”

NBC’s Kristen Welker on Sunday pressed House Intel Chair Mike Turner on how he could trust fat former President Trump to run the country again after a courts repeatedly found that he had engaged in all sorts of scams and on Friday one in New York hit him with a $450 million judgment for his fraudulent business practices, to which Turner said “Actually I don’t trust this court decision.”

Turner also said he wasn’t surprised that an “associate” of the Bidens would be caught lying to the FBI when asked if he thought the impeachment inquiry should continue after the asshole behind that “FD-1023” ended up getting indicted last week. Logic so circular it had more digits than pi.

Far right Arizona state Senators last week scoffed at the notion that private and parochial schools would ever show “sexually explicit material” to students in classrooms after a Dem pushed to amend the state’s 2022 law which only applies to public schools, the Arizona Republic reports.

“Sounds to me that voting against this amendment means you want to protect the owners of private schools,” Dem state Senator Mitzi Epstein said as the chamber debated a bill to make violations of the law a felony. “If a teacher is going to be subject to a felony under the vague terms spelled out in the underlying statute, then we need to apply this risk across the board to private schools as well.”

Sponsor Jake Hoffman, a fake Trump 2020 elector, was triggered “Apparently Senator Epstein thinks that Christian schools are referring students to sexually explicit material. The idea that private Christian schools are showing these completely inappropriate and disgusting images to children is completely laughable.” Fellow election denier scumbag Sonny Borrelli said “Private schools are not showing these sexually explicit materials. It’s all doing it in public schools.”

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott, who quite literally owes his Senate career to Nikki Haley, who appointed him to the seat in 2012, thinks that her son Nalin Haley calling Scott “Judas” and Haley herself calling fat former President Trump too old is just as bad as or worse than Donald going birther on Haley and suggesting her husband is deployed in Africa to hide from her.