Poor Jamie Comer.  Every time he tries to hold a committee hearing where he promises to blow the lid off some sort of Biden family scandal, he ends up having to go on Fox to exaggerate about what happened.  The thing is, we have the video.  When Hunter Biden showed up at yesterday’s House hearing, Florida Democrat Jared Moskowitz called for a vote to see how many committee members wanted to officially question Hunter during the public hearing; few did, so Hunter left.  End of story.  No piling over people to run out.  He walked out after the motion failed.  The fact that he did it as Marjorie Taylor Greene shouted that she demanded to “speak to” Biden as she puffed up like a Crossfitter on her third White Claw was just the cherry.

“Hard to believe the Deep State would unfairly prosecute someone who is doing their bidding. Must be he’s guilty as sin” – The current top comment on the Breitbart article “John Castro, Who Fought to Keep Trump off Ballot, Arrested on Federal Tax Charges,” posted early Thursday morning.

We can allow that maybe some version of the “Deep State” mythology is true, that there probably really is a deeply entrenched redoubt at the highest echelons of the intel community that’s highly resistant to any sort of accountability and blah blah blah. There are plausible theories out there.

What we don’t get is why the fuck they would send some incompetent tax cheat who failed to show proper standing in no less than 33 states to challenge Trump’s eligibility for the ballot under the 14th Amendment when they probably have half a dozen different ways to make it look like the fat bastard had a fatal heart attack while playing golf. It doesn’t have to be as complicated as these assholes want to make it. And if there really is a rogue power structure in the US government that’s lasted a dozen or more presidential administrations then why would they give a shit who wins the next election, especially since he was too incompetent to dismantle them the first time around?

Donald Trump, Jr. and former Trump White House advisor Peter Navarro have been linked to Steve Bannon’s dissident Chinese billionaire benefactor Guo Wengui’s bankruptcy case, which is a different issue than Guo’s outstanding criminal issues.

As the Daily Beast reports, Junior and Navarro are among the names listed in a 25-page catalog of possible defendants in Guo’s case from whom creditors may target to “claw back” payments or transfers Guo made before declaring bankruptcy.  It’s a maneuver that can be used to get money back from a debtor who is trying to hide assets from creditors, and frequently business associates listed on such documents were paid for legitimate reasons, so the fact that they’re listed is not in and of itself tawdry.

What is tawdry, though, is that this is the first direct link between Guo–a dissident Chinese billionaire who’s facing US charges for a fraudulent scheme so massive, federal prosecutors described the operation as a “criminal organization”–with Li’l Cheetolino and Navarro, and it comes in a court document asserting Guo paid them each a significant amount of money.  It appears Junior was taking money from China, something he’s accused Hunter of.

A number of election boards in Rhode Island reported irregularities with signatures on primary ballot petitions for the “No Labels” Party and for Republican dilettante Vivek Ramaswamy, noting an unusually high number of dead voters and fictional people signing their petitions, the Providence Journal reports.

The Boards of Canvassers for Coventry and Warwick noted an “unusually high number of invalidated signatures and instances of deceased voters submitted on behalf of presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy,” according to a State Board of Elections spokesman.  Officials in Cranston and Jamestown raised similar questions about the “No Labels” Party application, which does not specify a candidate.

A review of Ramaswamy’s petition by the Journal found signatures from people who live in Missouri, Oklahoma, Wisconsin as well as at least one person from Ohio who was deceased.  Vivek’s campaign said they relied on a third-party contractor to obtain the signatures.  The state will give the campaigns until January 25th to remedy any issues, but if enough signatures are disqualified, they risk losing their place on the ballot.

The US-led coalition forces protecting shipping in the Red Sea began strikes on Houthi forces in Yemen responsible for scores of missile and drone attacks in the region, the Washington Post reports.  The number and location of strikes on the Iranian-back rebels, who claim their strikes are meant to support Hamas fighters against Israel, are currently unknown; according to an NBC News report, a Houthi leader confirmed that Yemen’s capital, Sanaa, had been hit in the raids.

In the early stages of his doomed effort to ascend to the head of the Republican Party, Ron DeSantis decided to pick fights with local elected district attorneys he claimed were too “woke” because they didn’t pursue prosecutions against minor offenders.  Using a rule that allows Florida governors to remove local elected officials, DeSantis removed Andrew Warren as Hillsborough County prosecutor.

After a three-judge panel in federal appeals court tossed the case back to a federal judge in Tallahassee, Warren is asking the federal judge to rapidly decide his lawsuit against DeSantis that would essentially reinstate him into office nearly a year and a half after DeSantis undermined the determination of voters, the Orlando Sentinel reports.  The outcome of the case could determine if Warren runs for office again.

The federal judge hearing the case, Clinton-appointee Robert Hinkle, ruled that DeSantis had, in fact, violated Warren’s First Amendment free speech rights, but Hinkle did not believe he had the authority to reinstate Warren to office.  The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals instructed Hinkle to rethink his ruling:  “The Eleventh Amendment permits federal courts to remedy First Amendment violations.”

To say the Michigan Republican Party is a dysfunctional workplace is an understatement:  it ousted its chairwoman last week, it’s near bankruptcy, and its member county groups are devolving into violence.  But someone has to run it and that’s being left up to the state court to decide after the ousted chairwoman refuses to vacate her job, the Detroit News reports.  Ex-ish chairwoman Kristina Kamaro and her supporters say the group that voted to oust her did not follow Party rules to oust her, and they plan to hold their own Party meeting this weekend to reaffirm her invalid job.

President Joe Biden will on Thursday make a statement announcing a series of airstrikes – likely underway as we type this – against those pesky little rascal Houthis in Yemen, pew-pewing them for messing with international shipping in the Red Sea, The Times of London’s Steve Swinford reports.

“As Chair of the Maryland State Board of Elections, I have accepted the immediate resignation of Carlos Ayala. The Board is committed to maintaining the security and integrity of our elections in Maryland in a non-partisan manner. The State Board will remain steadfast in our mission to oversee our elections process and serve as a trusted source of information for all Marylanders during this presidential election year,” says Maryland Board of Elections Chair Mike Summers in a statement.

Weird how the Summers, a Democrat, wouldn’t be a little more forthcoming with the reason why Ayala, a Republican, had quit. The “security and integrity of our elections in Maryland in a non-partisan manner” and “serve as a trusted source of information for all Marylanders during this presidential election year” parts sure are kind of cryptic or even disconcerting, right?

Luckily for us we have sources of information other than Mike Summers: CNN reports that Ayala’s been arrested and charged with jabbing a Capitol police officer with a flagpole during the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection, which probably explains that “security and integrity of elections” line.

Subway, home of the All-American Club®, Meatball Marinara Melt®, and Italian BMT®, where you can get a FREE footlong when you buy one in-app or online using code FLBOGO from 12/28 – 1/23 (At participating US locations only. See terms and conditions for details), is now officially on a list of “international war sponsors” for refusing to close its 500 stores in Russia, according to a new list published by the Ukrainian National Agency on Corruption Prevention, CBS News reports.

It’s by far the worst crime the ultra-processed, low-quality sandwich chain has faced since a laboratory discovered that its “tuna” contained zero DNA from actual tuna fish back in 2021.

Asked by a reporter on Thursday whether he agreed with his lawyer John Sauer’s assertion that a president could order SEAL Team Six to kill a political opponent and not face prosecution after leaving office, fat former President Trump simply said presidents need to have immunity for everything because then they could face prosecution by the opposing party and blah blah blah.

So yeah, he agrees with it. Maybe the reporter should’ve asked Trump if Biden has the right to do it to him. Donald also further defamed rape victim EJ Carroll ahead of next week’s federal trial.

A grand jury in Warren, Ohio on Thursday passed on charges against local woman Brittany Watts, a local woman who suffered a miscarriage and found herself facing charges of “abuse of a corpse” in the most grotesque maximal application of MAGA “pro-life” laws, Fox 8 Cleveland reports.

New York Attorney General Letitia James was elected in 2018. Exxon, prior to its merger with Mobil, moved from New York City to Houston in October 1989, six months after then 31 year-old Letitia James had been admitted to the New York State bar, so she prooobably wasn’t involved.

That however was not the dumbest shit he said on Thursday as Judge Engoron reversed his Wednesday decision barring Donald from delivering part of the closing argument.

Pro-Trump scam operation No Labels are trying to talk fat former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie into joining their ticket to help get their Orange Allah reelected, NBC News reports.

For those keeping score at home: The guy who ran with the express goal of making sure fat former President Trump did not win the 2024 GOP nomination, dropped out of the race at precisely the moment he calculated could best help the current second place candidate have some sort of shot to that effect, and did not ever seriously entertain becoming the Republican nominee himself, much less president, is No Labels’ current best option for their “third party” presidential ticket.

“Hot Dog! Today, Oscar Mayer® announced the opening of Hotdogger applications, inviting fans to apply for a one-year, full-time, paid gig behind the wheel of the iconic Wienermobile. Open through January 31, the relished position offers fans the opportunity to become official spokespeople of the brand while living out its mission: sparking smiles. Chosen applicants will represent the 37th class of Hotdoggers, joining a rich history of spreading joy and wiener whistles to adoring fans. Traveling an average of 20,000 miles each year, Hotdoggers visit at least 40 cities across the country and attend more than 1,200 events. Each member of the class is entrusted with driving and maintaining the 27-foot hot dog on wheels, along with creating social content for the brand’s channels during their ‘meat’ and greets across the country,” says a press release from Oscar Mayer.

“‘The title of a Hotdogger is a rare and coveted position unique to those seeking adventure and a once-in-a-lifetime experience,’ said Ed Roland, ‘Top Dog’ and Sr Manager Brand Communications for Oscar Mayer at The Kraft Heinz Company. ‘Statistically speaking, more people have visited space than driven the Wienermobile! We take pride in welcoming the next class who will continue to uphold the tradition of sparking smiles and bringing buns of fun to fans across the US’ Hotdoggers go above and beyond traditional ‘spokesperson’ duties to represent the iconic Wienermobile – a sizzling fixture in American zeitgeist since it hit the hot dog highways in 1936. In recent years, Hotdoggers enjoyed a trip to Puerto Rico for the first time in more than 50 years, married 12 couples at the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas and introduced the first-ever hot dog-flavored frozen pop to fans in New York City. The coveted Hotdogger title is granted to 12 applicants who cut the mustard.”

Ruh-roh. This isn’t good. No ma’am. The boss is going to give Kim h-e-double hockey sticks when he sees the secret alt-Twitter account that the New York Times found and concluded that it the user is, in real life, none other than Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds. Hoooo boy, this’ll be a pickle.

She was already in deep sugar honey iced tea with President Mushroom Dinkies for endorsing Ron DeSantis in the Iowa caucus, but this account and – My Gosh! – the tweets she liked in it that were saying what virtually every elected Republican knows about the boss but kept it zipped because he’ll throw a hissy fit at you real good if you point out that he spends his time with whores.

Pakistan’s Supreme Court on Wednesday upheld a 2019 death sentence for former dictator General Pervez Musharraf, who a lower court found guilty of treason and abrogating the country’s constitution for his coup and junta that lasted from 1999 to 2008, DPS International reports.

Musharraf was unavailable for comment on the decision as he died in exile in Dubai last February, his remains repatriated and buried at a military cemetery in Karachi. It’s not clear how the sentence will be carried out given those circumstances, but we guess that exhuming his skeleton and tying it to a post in front of a firing squad is a possibility. Pakistan’s a funny place like that.

Bureau of Labor Statistics: “The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.3 percent in December on a seasonally adjusted basis, after rising 0.1 percent in November, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 3.4 percent before seasonal adjustment. The index for shelter continued to rise in December, contributing over half of the monthly all items increase. The energy index rose 0.4 percent over the month as increases in the electricity index and the gasoline index more than offset a decrease in the natural gas index. The food index increased 0.2 percent in December, as it did in November.”

“The all items index rose 3.4 percent for the 12 months ending December, a larger increase than the 3.1-percent increase for the 12 months ending November. The all items less food and energy index rose 3.9 percent over the last 12 months, after rising 4.0 percent over the 12 months ending November. The energy index decreased 2.0 percent for the 12 months ending December, while the food index increased 2.7 percent over the last year. The food index rose 0.2 percent in December, as it did in November. The index for food at home increased 0.1 percent over the month, also the same as in the previous month. Four of the six major grocery store food group indexes increased.”

Police in Nassau County, New York responded to an apparently false bomb threat called into the home of Judge Arthur Engoron on the morning just before he’s set to hear closing arguments in state Attorney General Letitia James’s $370 million fraud lawsuit against fat former President Trump’s corrupt business empire, the Daily Beast reports on the usual day-to-day MAGA terrorism.

*Comer has no credibility.

*Comer never took my whistleblower case serious and it had MASSIVE corruption in the subject matter of NYC and the illegal Alien invasion.

*Comer should not be the chair.

*Comer where is the slam dunk evidence you promised? You know the indisputable… https://t.co/gMoLF3IL76

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) January 11, 2024

Continued from after the stupid ellipses cutoff in Santos’s overlong “clapback” tweet: “*Comer where is the slam dunk evidence you promised? You know the indisputable docs to impeach Biden once and for all? *Comer take several seats back and let someone else take over the committee because you clearly are failing with your gross negligence and incompetence. The GOP base has been let down by yet another swamp creature with no capability to deliver on campaign promises… Hunter was there, MTG was ready, Perry was ready… why not swear him in Comer?”

Quite refreshing from a guy liberated from the need to spew the company line – with the possible exception of the second line about NYC invasion something something that sounds like bullshit. Of course it’s understandable that Georgie would be harsh on Comer, who was one of just a handful of the House GOP’s most ubiquitous assholes to vote in favor of expelling Santos last month.