Contrary to the constant panic of inflationary prices you’ll hear on mainstream media–yeah, that’s right:  I’m callin’ out the Lamestream Media!–and particularly on the Fox propaganda network, the cost of an average family’s Thanksgiving dinner dropped from last year, falling from $64.05 in 2022 to $61.17 this year in another triumph for Dark Brandon, according to CBS News.  No word on the victor in the canned cranberry versus fresh cranberry sauce debate, however.

A Denver judge rejected a lawsuit challenging Donald Trump’s eligibility to be on the ballot in Colorado’s presidential primary and general election, with the challengers claiming he was ineligible due to his support for an insurrection in violation of his oath of office.  Colorado District Judge Sarah Wallace determined the President of the United States is not a qualified “officer” covered by the Amendment, but that Trump had, in fact, engaged in insurrection against the United States.

According to CNN, the judge found that the insurrection clause of the 14th Amendment does not apply to presidents, but it does apply to other elected officials–which the Amendment refers to as “officers” of the United States.

“After considering the arguments on both sides, the Court is persuaded that ‘officers of the United States,’ did not include the President of the United States,” Wallace wrote. “It appears to the Court that for whatever reason the drafters of Section Three did not intend to include a person who had only taken the Presidential Oath.”

Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis on Friday requested Superior Court Judge Scott McAfee to schedule fat former President Trump and at least 14 of his minions (if more don’t flip on him before then) to face trial on the sprawling RICO case over their attempt to overturn the Orange Warlord’s humiliating defeat in the 2020 election to begin on August 5, 2024.

If McAfee agrees this will be a MASSIVE political weight on the fat fuck as this trial will 100 percent be televised. On Tuesday Willis said she anticipated it to go into early 2025, which means that every single day, for three full months until election day and beyond, Trump will HAVE to be in court and on television for seven, eight hours. The impact of this on the election cannot be overstated.

Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron on Friday rejected disgraced former President Trump’s demand he declare a mistrial in New York Attorney General Letitia James’s $250 million civil fraud lawsuit against the fat bastard’s corrupt business empire, CNBC reports on more “election interference.”

The Acciardi family – Anthony Sr, Doreen, Steve, and Anthony Jr – are out one condom machine, a bunch of sex toys and lube after police raided their strip joint, the XXXV Club in Sayreville, New Jersey on a tip that it was also being secretly operated as a brothel, 1010 WINS reports.

Shocking as it may be that a strip club in which topless women grind on men for five to ten minutes for $100 or so could also be an establishment in which cash was also exchanged for sexual favors – as opposed to say a bakery or a tire store – the allegations in New Jersey Attorney General Matt Platkin’s case against the Acciardis and their associates appear to be credible and damning.

“Our investigation determined that the operators of Club XXXV were using various illegal means to turn their club into a multimillion-dollar racket. We allege that these defendants enriched themselves unlawfully, masked the illicit sources of their income, and generated a host of quality-of-life issues for the residents of their community,” said Platkin and fuck this story is so goddamned funny.

They took the condom machine. Why the hell did they take the condom machine? Like we get seizing the cash and the gold bars, but the condom machine, really? These people are guilty as hell, we can buy that, as we could that the lube and the sex toys are material evidence to their case. Where does the condom machine fit into that? Maybe the 1010 WINS story is missing some detail about how the machine was somehow part of a scam racket. Mafia types love that kind of shit. Who knows. Without that we’re left to wonder if the cops wanted it for the men’s room at their precinct.

Fulton County, Georgia Judge Scott McAfee on Friday stuck “Black Voices for Trump” asshole Harrison Floyd with a protective order – on top of the one he issued on Thursday after one of his idiot MAGA co-defendants leaked the proffer videos from the Kraken and the others who had pleaded guilty so far – prohibiting Floyd from making public any of the records and information about the 2020 election his defense subpoenaed from the Secretary of State’s office.

Earlier this month Floyd had been making noises about how he was going to get the case dismissed because the election really was stolen and blah blah blah. This of course doesn’t stop him from using the Secretary of State’s records in the trial but it stops him from selectively leaking shit to the Gateway Pundit and all those other lame propaganda sites. Floyd also has to show up to court on Tuesday to explain why his bond shouldn’t be revoked so he’s kind of got bigger problems anyway.

“Through its Application for Audiovisual Access, the Media Coalition acts on behalf of millions of Americans who have an unprecedented interest in observing – for themselves – the prosecution of former President Donald Trump on felony charges of attempting to subvert the 2020 election.”

“Because Trump is not only a former president but also a current candidate campaigning to return to the White House, the public’s ability to monitor his trial is a basic matter of democratic self-governance. Moreover, in supporting audiovisual access, Trump has characterized this action as bearing ‘all the unfortunate badges of a trial in an authoritarian regime, lacking legitimacy or due process.’ This rhetoric, and its challenge to the very legitimacy of this proceeding, only underscores the crucial need for the public to be able to see this trial firsthand,” says a motion filed in support of the media coalition led by NBC News trying to convince DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan to allow cameras in the courtroom during disgraced former President Trump’s coup attempt conspiracy trial.

“It is unacceptable to repeat the hideous lie behind the most fatal act of Antisemitism in American history at any time, let alone one month after the deadliest day for the Jewish people since the Holocaust. Like President Biden said weeks ago memorializing the victims of the Pittsburgh Synagogue shooting, the October 7 ‘devastating atrocity has brought to the surface painful memories left by millennia of Antisemitism;’ and under his presidency ‘we will continue to condemn Antisemitism at every turn.’ We condemn this abhorrent promotion of Antisemitic and racist hate in the strongest terms, which runs against our core values as Americans. We all have a responsibility to bring people together against hate, and an obligation to speak out against anyone who attacks the dignity of their fellow Americans and compromises the safety of our communities,” says White House spokesman Andrew Bates in a statement responding to Elon Musk’s latest endorsement of “replacement theory” as being a Jewish plot to destroy white America.

This is so wild and far out there. Never in a million years would you be able to guess why Texas MAGA Congressman Troy Nehls doesn’t want to expel fellow Republican and lying piece of shit Long Island Congressman George Santos after that scathing report from the House Ethics Committee.

Well most of you probably already figured it out. If somehow this is your first ever time seeing an article about American politics, let this serve as your introduction to the Republican Party: Nehls told Axios on Thursday “Why would we want to expel a guy when we’ve got a three-seat, four-seat majority. What are we doing?” even as Nehls also said the report “looks pretty damaging.”

“I think until he’s convicted, I’m going to hold off,” Nehls added, as if Santos is going to skate.

In related news, House Ethics Committee Chairman Michael Guest on Friday introduced the now third resolution to expel the former Brazilian drag queen from the halls of power.

Weird how reporting on Joe Biden being cleared of any wrongdoing in his classified documents fuckup can be both “FAKE” and extremely upsetting to the Orange Slob simultaneously, as if it exists in some quantum superposition of reality to him… Or he’s just so demented he doesn’t even re-read the shit he writes before he taps the “Truth!” button on his phone. That’s probably it.

Anyway when we write that Biden is “cleared of any wrongdoing” rather than “No charges” we’re operating on an assumption based on the closest analogue we have to Robert Hur’s investigation: The Mueller Investigation, in which the former FBI director-turned-Russia special counsel (obviously) did not indict Trump because of Justice Department proscriptions on doing so – or even publicly conclude that the fat bastard had committed crimes for which Mueller would have brought before a grand jury if he could have, save for 10 “discrete acts” of “possible” obstruction of justice.

We’re extremely confident that Hur’s report won’t go anywhere close to that, but the “No charges” would be true either way. Even if Joe drove his Corvette up and down Pennsylvania Avenue tossing the documents out in the street, he can’t be charged as long as he’s still president. Still, this is an assumption we’re making and we could be wrong about whether Hur will identify any conduct by Biden that will be prosecutable after he leaves office. We just probably won’t be.

Globally-recognized news website commenting platform Disqus on Friday stealth-launched their hotly-unanticipated new Magically Erasing Comments™ feature which allows users to write a comment and then be unable to see it again if they refresh the page. The incredible new innovation is sure to bring a dramatic increase productivity among the employed readers of websites featuring Disqus comments – or at least encourage them and others to try different platforms to get their fix.

Seriously this is fucking lame and we hope it doesn’t last too long. Our admin panel’s queue confirms that the comments are sticking in the databases in Disqus’s servers, which indicates to us that this is a scripting and/or markup problem and should be a quick fix when management are made aware of it. That could be a while however as it’s currently 3:53 AM in California where they’re based.

National Zero will continue reporting to all readers the news as it comes but not very happily if we have to do so without the feedback and affirmation from our lively commenting community.

A new grand jury impaneled in California is looking at new tax charges and possibly violations of the Foreign Agents Registration Act against crackhead criminal mastermind Hunter Biden, CNN reports on some new action by “totally biased and compromised” Hunterghazi special counsel David Weiss.

RNC Chairwoman Ronna Not-Romney on Thursday told Fox News that Arizona Secretary of State Adrian Fontes is in big trouble mister if he certifies the new right wing “Patriot Party” after what she claims was a botched and/or fraudulent petitioning process in which at least 8,000 of the 34,127 signatures gathered to qualify the party for the ballot were fake or duplicated.

“Upon review of the filing, it’s become clear that this party doesn’t even have the necessary signatures to make it onto the ballot. If Fontes chooses to certify their petition in the face of these glaring issues, the RNC, NRCC and AZGOP will take him to court and win,” Not-Romney said.

Former Ottawa County, Michigan Health Commissioner Adeline Hambley is suing to hold the board of county commissioners to its word for a promised $4 million cash payment it offered her if she resigned, a move seen as a huge GOTCHA! against the health official who promoted the Covid vaccine, the Daily Beast reports.

Yeah, you read that right:  the new conservative members of the Ottawa County board wanted to get rid of Hambley so badly because she promoted accepted public health advice, they held a closed-door session during which they negotiated a $4 million cash payment for Hambley’s resignation because they could not fire her for cause.  The board members want to appoint a local HVAC business owner who is not a public health professional and who has never held public office before to the position.

Local journalists reported the amount was the largest settlement in the county’s history, and it amounted to the same amount cut from the county health department’s budget by the conservative commissioners.  The commissioners, however, claim no such deal exists.  Unfortunately for them, the county’s lawyer had already emailed a draft of the agreement to Hambley’s lawyers after the November 6th closed board meeting.

A fun little statistic to throw out to your MAGAt friends who go on a rant about “illegals” all over the country:  the number of undocumented residents in the United States is now lower than it was in 2007–and not just a little bit:  by 14%, according to a new Pew Research Center study reported by MSNBC.  In fact, the number of undocumented residents in the US now stands at the same level as when Donald Trump took office in 2017:  10.7 million.

Per the report, the number of foreign-born residents in the US stands at 47 million, with just under half–23.1 million–now naturalized US citizens.  Around 14 million people are here in the US with one of many legal statuses, from student visas to resident alien cards.  In total, the number of legal migrants in the US increased by 29% over that period of time.

Special counsel Robert Hur’s office, investigating a handful of government documents including classified information found at Biden family properties, reportedly interviewed Hunter Biden last month as part of his investigation, NBC News reports.  Although specific details were not available, Hunter Biden had access to the family’s homes in Wilmington and Rehoboth Beach, both locations at which official documents were found.  According to earlier reports, President Joe Biden is not expected to face any charges relating to his careless handling of the documents, largely because he fully cooperated with the efforts to return them to the National Archives.

“You have to ask yourself, why do they keep pushing this?” Megyn Kelly lite and celebrated victim Riley Gaines ponders.  “Who are they trying to appeal to, because what how the media portrays or how politicians are voting this doesn’t represent the overwhelming majority of how this country–really, how the world–feels on this issue.  I think the majority of people, parents especially, they can acknowledge that gay Nutcracker and Black disabled Santa has gone way too far, the pendulum has swung to far.”

“Gay Nutcracker“?  The ballet?  That’s what Fox is upset about now?  And Santa is a fictional character.  Why is it so hard for Fox hostesses to understand that?

Audio recorded for Jon Karl’s new book “Tired of Winning” aired Thursday on CNN reveals disgraced former President Trump told Karl he had demanded that he be taken to the Capitol a second time on January 6th and was turned down again so he could “stop the problem.” Meaning the fat bastard knew there was a violent insurrection happening but did not otherwise act for three hours.

The audio comes the same day his lawyers filed a motion to “Strike inflammatory allegations” in his DC indictment, complaining that Jack Smith seeks to try the fat bastard “for crimes the grand jury never charged, based on actions Trump did not take, in a place he never was on January 6, by people he never directed, and opposite to actions he actually did take and statements he made.”

“Despite exhaustive investigation, the FBI found no evidence that President Trump was responsible for the actions at the Capitol on January 6,” they write, even though in the audio above the Orange God Emperor made it clear that he was intent on going there to stop it in person.

A 22-year-old Canadian white supremacist was convicted of four counts of first-degree murder and one count of attempted murder for driving his pickup truck into a Muslim family out for a walk in London, Ontario in June 2021, the CBC reports.  Nathaniel Veltman will be sentenced to mandatory prison time without the possibility of parole for 25 years.

Yumnah Afzaal, 15, her parents Madiha Salman, 44, and Salman Afzaal, 46, and family matriarch Talat Afzaal, 74 were all killed after, prosecutors claimed, Veltman floored the accelerator of his pickup truck and aimed it at the family, who was out for their traditional evening walk.  Another member of the family, a nine-year-old boy, survived the attack.