A retired Irish mayor on Monday broke a taboo in the deeply Catholic country by endorsing a plan for contraception pills to be hidden in pellets fed to the seagulls that’ve been annoying the absolute shit out of locals – and shitting on them – in his hometown of Drogheda for years, the Irish Mirror reports.

“We have to do something to reduce the Seagull population because it keeps getting bigger and bigger. The streets of Drogheda were like snow this summer, there were so many Seagull droppings around the place. These droppings are bad for your health and make a mess of the place. One solution is to give the birds a contraceptive pill in the food,” said the outer Dublin suburb’s former Mayor Frank Godfrey, pointing to far more progressive and sexually libertine Belgium’s success in controlling the pigeon population around Brussels decades ago by feeding them “the pill”.

Nigel Farage, a former Brexit advocate embraced by the American MAGA movement whom Donald Trump once demanded be named ambassador to the United States by the UK, is set to appear on an upcoming season of the long-running British Fauxality show “I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!” according to Politico.

Once a major influencer in British politics whose media appearances may have pushed the nation out of the European Union, Farage will now battle other washed-up performers and media personalities who will be dropped off in the wilds of Australia, where previous editions of the show had participants eating camel testicles, chomping on crocodile anus, and being enclosed in a coffin full of snakes in a mix of Survivor and Fear Factor.

“Tomorrow, I think, in the Rules Committee, Schumer’s sending over a resolution to bypass what I’m doin’ through the Rules Committee. It would have to be voted on in the Senate and it would have to get 60 votes but, uh, um, I’m hearin’ we’ve got some Republicans that would vote for it and put it at 60-plus, and it would pass and these promotions would, uh, would go through,” Republican Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville declares. “Hopefully that doesn’t happen. We’re gonna continue to fight. We should not give them a win on this because they have not been told no in three years. They’ve done everything they could possibly do, Greg, but we have to stop somewhere. We have to stop the bleeding. It has to stop now.”

Just a reminder that the “them” Tuberville is denying a “win” to are hundreds of non-partisan senior officers who are awaiting promotions to flag and executive offices, so that others can thereby get promoted to fill their vacated spots, and rebuild military readiness Tuberville disrupted with a protest against a military health reimbursement program.

In his proffer session with Fulton County, Georgia prosecutors ahead of his plea deal last month, MAGA lawyer Kenny Chesebro tied disgraced former President Trump directly to the fake electors scam, describing a previously unreported meeting in which he had discussed the plot with Trump and shared a briefing memo with him about the slates, the Washington Post reports.

It’s the first time one of the people in the room with Trump admitted to explaining or updating Trump on the plot to assemble and submit fraudulent slates of electors from states Trump knew he lost to upset the tally in the Electoral College on January 6th.  The WaPo article does not note the date of the alleged meeting, the timing of which could play into Trump’s motive for tweeting out an order for his followers to assemble in Washington, DC on January 6th in the infamous “Will be wild” post.

Chesebro also admitted to physically carrying the forged slate of electors that came from Wisconsin to Washington, DC.  That document ultimately ended up in the hands of dopey Republican Senator Ron Johnson, who tried to shove it into Vice President Mike Pence’s hands on January 6th to further confuse the process.

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 HOMELAND SECURITY SECRETARY ALEJANDRO MAYORKAS HAS BEEN COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY EXONERATED ON WHITE NATIONALIST CONGRESSWOMAN MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE’S HOAX IMPEACHMENT ARTICLES! The House just rejected the sham impeachment inquiry! ACQUITTED, EXONERATED, STILL DHS SECRETARY MAGATARDS! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Ahem. What actually happened, which we might have simply reported straight had we not been inspired by the way the Trump fanboys reacted after their Orange Allah was “exonerated” the first time he was impeached, was that the House voted 209 to 201, with eight Republicans joining the Democrats to punt the “inquiry” to the Homeland Security Committee. So close enough to “exonerated” if we go by the standards of our MAGA hatted, trailer-dwelling friends.

Did David Weiss write this himself? lol. https://t.co/qn9a2ZEv6y

— House Judiciary GOP (@JudiciaryGOP) November 14, 2023

Texas Republican Congressman Pat Fallon will not seek reelection for a third term in the House and will instead run for his old seat in the Texas state Senate next year, the Texas Tribune reports.

Yeah, you read that right. A federal representative has decided to self-demote back to the state legislature he served in prior to Congress. One that’s quite possibly even more dysfunctional than the chamber in which he currently serves, but Fallon seems actually pretty excited to head back home and swim in a smaller pond. “At the end of the day, the decision came down to, If we lose Texas, we lose the nation,” Fallon told the Tribune. “It’s just terribly important to ensure that Texas has written a great success story and I want to keep moving that forward.” Fallon added that his two years in the state Senate prior to the US House were “the best two years I ever spent” in politics.

In a move that will probably not be very well received among the fanboys already suspicious of and hostile toward Ukraine since Volodymyr Zelensky took office and even more so after Russian dictator Vladimir Putin launched his invasion early last year, Kyiv’s SBU intelligence service on Monday announced that an MP, Oleksandr Dubinsky, had been charged with treason after accepting at least $10 million in payments from the Kremlin for actions that “advantage of the tense political situation in Ukraine and discredit our state in the international arena,” Politico EU reports.

Your average Breitbart douchebag probably won’t recall the name, but per Politico, Dubinsky was one of drunken shitbrain Rudy Giuliani’s main contacts in the country back in the fall of 2019 when he was trying to dig up fake dirt on Hunter Biden to justify the offense disgraced former President Trump was soon to impeached over: withholding military aid to Kyiv in the smaller-scale conflict with Russian-backed separatists in the eastern Donbas region that led to the all-out war until Zelensky announced a bullshit investigation into the Bidens to torpedo a threat to Trump’s reelection.

So yeah, once the MAGA incels get word of this it’ll be “BIDEN ORDERED HIS STOOGE ZELENSKY TO RETALIATE AGAINST AN INNOCENT PEACE-LOVING UKRAINIAN PATRIOT FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES!” all day every day… if they aren’t saying that already. We haven’t checked yet.

Just prior to their plea deals last month, former Trump 2020 “Elite Strike Force” lawyers Jenna Ellis and Sidney “Kraken” Powell gave to Fulton County, Georgia prosecutors some damning accounts of their fat orange client’s final days in the White House, according to video obtained by ABC News.

In her “proffer session,” Ellis told Fulton DA Fani Willis’s team that during a December 19, 2020 Christmas party – days after states had certified their electors and a more than a week after the Supreme Court tossed the lawsuit brought by Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton meant to overturn Biden’s win – Ellis broken the news to Trump Reichsminister of propaganda Dan Scavino that the fight “was essentially over” and thus time for the Orange Tyrant to face the music.

“And he said to me, in a kind of excited tone, ‘Well, we don’t care, and we’re not going to leave,'” Ellis said, saying they’d both been drinking. “And I said, ‘What do you mean?’ And he said ‘Well, the boss… The boss is not going to leave under any circumstances. We are just going to stay in power.’ And I said to him, ‘Well, it doesn’t quite work that way, you realize?’ and he said, ‘We don’t care.'”

A confused and angry old man who spends all day consuming right wing media was unable to summarize one of his core beliefs – that the 2020 election was stolen – during a recent conversation with a journalist who sought to understand why the older man thought that way. “I don’t know… I don’t know anything,” the senior citizen said with a distinct air of anger and defensiveness.

While testifying in his defense in New York State AG Letitia James’s $250 million lawsuit against his father’s corrupt business empire at approximately 12:21 PM on Monday, Donald Trump Jr told the defense lawyers that the Trump brand’s first big licensing deal, the Trump International Hotel in Waikiki, was one of the “most successful” real estate projects in the Aloha State’s history and the owners “understood that they would be closing with the best real estate in the market, no question.”

This was just over three hours after CNN reported that the property’s owners, Irongate, had reached a “mutual agreement for a significant buyout of the hotel management and license agreement” with the Trump Org to end the deal and reopen as the “Wākea Waikiki Beach” as part of the “Hilton LXR” portfolio in February 2024. One of the state’s lawyers later pointed this out during the cross-exam.

House Republicans have delivered for the American people with gas prices in 11 Southern states now averaging at under $3 per gallon, Yahoo Finance reports on a major accomplishment promised in tens of thousands of GOP campaign ads in the lead-up to the 2022 midterm elections.

They promised this and they made it happen with all their pro-energy policies like talking about how the American people have had enough of the Biden Administration’s economic policies that President Trump was so great for American energy that gas prices were $1.90 or even lower back in April of 2020. Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy can take a well-deserved victory lap since lowering gas prices was an important part of his pitch to elect members of his caucus like Nancy Mace, Matt Gaetz, Ken Buck, Tim Burchett, Bob Good, and others who were crucial to his winning majority.

But really every Republican in the House deserves credit after campaigning so hard on this important issue and actually making it happen. Voters don’t need to be bored with the details like which specific piece of legislation the House GOP passed and got signed into law that made this price drop possible. They don’t care about the jargon, they care about the results – just like they will when prices rise again and the leftist Democrats will try to avoid taking responsibility for it.

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage after providing an alternative viewpoint for our MAGA readers to consider. We hope they credit their party’s 2022 victory accordingly.

In an obvious dodge to stave off the increased scrutiny being applied over the last few months of stories about far right Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito, ahe United States Supreme Court on Monday formally adopted a code of conduct for the nine justices who sit on its bench.

“The undersigned Justices are promulgating this Code of Conduct to set out succinctly and gather in one place the ethics rules and principles that guide the conduct of the Members of the Court. For the most part these rules and principles are not new: The Court has long had the equivalent of common law ethics rules, that is, a body of rules derived from a variety of sources, including statutory provisions, the code that applies to other members of the federal judiciary, ethics advisory opinions issued by the Judicial Conference Committee on Codes of Conduct, and historic practice.”

“The absence of a Code, however, has led in recent years to the misunderstanding that the Justices of this Court, unlike all other jurists in this country, regard themselves as unrestricted by any ethics rules. To dispel this misunderstanding, we are issuing this Code, which largely represents a codification of principles that we have long regarded as governing our conduct,” says the intro to a document that should’ve been written 234 years ago and should NOT take the heat off Clarence.

Guess who was on Newsmax this morning talking about their candidacy for the US Congress?

What do YOU think of the points made in THIS video?

How do YOU think I handled the questions that were asked of me by these Newsmax anchors?

Would YOU vote for me???#ShamanForCongress pic.twitter.com/Kd4YxW9BMY

— Jake Angeli-Chansley (@AmericaShaman) November 13, 2023

Not that it was a high bar to surmount, but if you only listen to Jake “QAnon Shaman” Chansley speak for just 10 or 15 seconds you can already see how much better he is at this than Ron Watkins, the mastermind behind the movement of the Shaman’s namesake was at comporting himself in interviews also while campaigning to represent a deep-red Arizona Congressional district last year.

“Deranged Jack Smith, Andrew Weissmann, Lisa Monaco, the ‘team of losers and misfits’ from CREW, and all the rest of the Radical Left Zealots and Thugs who have been working illegally for years to ‘take me down,’ will end up, because of their suffering from a horrible disease, TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME (TDS!), in a Mental Institution by the time my next term as President is successfully completed. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” writes former President Donald Trump on Truth Social in response to the news that his beloved older sister Maryanne has passed away.

Literally this was his first and only public statement so far since the New York Times reported she died, posted at 11:42 AM EST, just under an hour after they first published the story about it.

Former federal Judge Maryanne Trump Barry, older sister to disgraced former President Trump, died at her home in Manhattan Monday morning at the age of 86, the New York Times reports on God once again choosing the wrong one of Fred Trump’s evil spawn but at least blessing us with the opportunity to troll National Zero readers with a misleading but still technically accurate headline.

Large headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung did not respond to a request for comment from the Times on this matter. Probably wanted to say Maryanne was a mean old bitch and he hated her.

The lion who escaped from a circus outside Rome, Italy on Saturday did not eat any Christians during five hours spent roaming the seaside town of of Ladispoli prior to his recapture, with the circus’s trainer telling AFP the predatory cat does not possess his ancestors’ performative urges to consume the flesh of Jesus worshippers for the cruel entertainment of the pagan vox populi.

Rony Vassallo, owner of the Rony Roller Circus, said his troupe’s eight year-old lion Kimba “met with people in an environment he wasn’t used to… and nothing happened, he didn’t even for a second have the instinct to attack a person,” and Vassallo was far more fearful “that someone could have harmed the animal, out of fear, or excess enthusiasm,” while the animal was missing. It could also have been that the Italians who encountered Kimba did not look him in the eyes or start praying the Hail Mary for divine protection, which would have driven the beast to instinctively pounce.

Large-headed Trump spokesman told Axios that “Disgraceful and talentless John Carl [sic] is a back-bencher who could never get his own show for obvious reasons. Excerpts previously released from this ‘book’ have already been thoroughly debunked,” when asked to comment on an unrelated story about Trump hanging up on Kim Kardashian because he believed she had voted for Joe Biden.

Anchorage, Mat-Su Valley, and other school districts across south-central Alaska are switching to remote learning-mode Monday after an incoming snowstorm is expected to drop as much as 1 to 1.5 inches per hour between 5 AM and 10 AM local time, the Anchorage Daily News reports on a plowing challenge apparently too mighty for municipalities located north of the 60th parallel.

Large-headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung railed against “snowflakes” who are “grasping for anything because they are suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome and their entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House,” in an unrelated Washington Post story about his boss promising to “root out” his “vermin” political opponents if reelected.

Asked to comment on the Biden Campaign seizing upon his Orange Allah’s ongoing flurry of batshit stupid mental slips during speeches to his fans, large-headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung’s response was a few notches above his typical abrasiveness, angrily telling the Messenger in a statement that “The Biden campaign must be confused like their own candidate because Biden is in a constant state of confusion, shuffling around like a Roomba, and falling on his ass in front of the American people because he’s weak and frail. But even more damning is that Biden is just plain stupid. He doesn’t have the intelligence to lead a junior high book club let alone the entire country.”

He seems frustrated, right? Like Cheung definitely could’ve come up with something snappier if the bizarre mistakes his Messiah has been making lately weren’t actually starting to worry him. A “junior high book club” is the best he’s got while the Biden campaign keeps hammering fat Donald?

A lengthy review published Monday by the Washington Post concludes the Arizona, Georgia, and Michigan state Republican Parties are all but defunct due to an array of interconnected reasons such as leaders listening to Steve Bannon’s advice on how to manage things, legal bills from the aftermath of the 2020 election, purges of “RINOs” for thoughtcrimes such as – you guessed it – not believing the 2020 election was stolen, and a lack of support from Chair Ronna Not-Romney.

Which is to say it’s all Trump’s fault one way or another. Interestingly it’s his problem too as his 2024 campaign is going to have to do the fundraising and field work that the state parties would have handled in past election cycles. This might be less of an issue in Georgia since “RINO” Governor Brian Kemp’s political operation has effectively taken over for the MAGA-brained state GOP and Kemp has publicly said he’d rather see Trump than Biden win in 2025. Who knows how it’ll play out in practice when they actually have to work together given all the bad blood since 2020 though.

There are no such backstops for the Arizona and Michigan GOPs gutted by infighting and piss-poor money management. Arizona GOP Chair Jeff DeWit took a lot of shit from fanboys after he was forced to back out of a plan to circumvent the state government-run presidential primary election and have the party run its own one-day, in-person vote with paper ballots that would have been counted by hand because they simply didn’t have the money to do it. When DeWit asked Ronna for some cash to help prop up his party back in July, RNC officials referred him to what the Post describes as “a program intended to incentivize state parties to build out their own finance, data and political operations,” like a wealthy aunt giving a used copy of a Suze Orman book to the nephew who needs $1,400 for a new transmission on his 2009 Mustang so he can get to work at Applebee’s.