Did you expect anything else?  The shitshow was going to be a shitshow.  I knew it.  You knew it.  CNN knew it–although I don’t think they expected the audience of New Hampshirites to laugh at the topic of sexual assault.  The only ones who didn’t think it was a shitshow were Trump’s cult of supporters, which got no new members today.

Trump said he would support a national abortion ban.  He boasted about being the “best president for the Second Amendment” (even though he’s the only president to suggest circumventing the courts to confiscate guns).  He claimed he could stop the Ukraine war in one day–likely meaning he’d “cancel” Ukraine by turning it wholesale over to the Kremlin.  And he slandered a woman to whom he already owes $5 million for defamation which could add to his already mountainous amount of legal difficulties.  And we’ve learned Trump’s list of grievances hasn’t shortened or really been updated in two years.  None of these won him any voters, and they undoubtedly cost him some who have grown tired of his schtick.

Perhaps the biggest message, however, came down to Trump stating he wanted the US to default on its debt, an action that–despite what Trump claimed–would definitely have a detrimental impact on the US and world economies, with the US having a reduced credit rating in the future.  This, to put it bluntly, was Trump trying to crash the US economy for the benefit of Russia and China by ordering his Congressional minions to destroy the nation to save him.

“The level of public corruption that we talked about today was breathtaking and the fact that, that, as you mentioned, Sean, the mainstream media, for the most part, didn’t cover it at all and instead covered the George Santos stuff i-is further proof that this media i-i-is covering for Joe Biden.  They are covering for public corruption at the highest levels in a manner that we’ve never seen in the history of our country.”

So Kentucky’s Jim Comer thinks the media should cover his unsupported claims against a political opponent instead of covering the real-life indictment of a sitting member of Congress, something that has only happened about a dozen times in the last two decades.  And yes, I believe that we’re seeing “corruption at the highest levels in a manner that we’ve never seen in the history of our country.”  That’s what Republicans do.

It’s simple, folks.

Do you want four more years of that?

If you don’t, pitch in to our campaign.https://t.co/EwCflbYn22

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) May 11, 2023

The simplest, most effective question you can ask anyone who watched that absolute mess of a “town hall” in which the Former Guy took credit for ending the right to abortion, refused to call Vladimir Putin a war criminal, and said he wanted the government to default on its debts.

Wednesday’s the big night in the Granite State, as fat former President Trump – fresh off of being found liable for sexual abuse and defamation in a New York federal court and holy shit we had to write that in a sentence – faces voters and CNN anchor Kaitlan Collins in a town hall. We can’t carry the video embedded from YouTube or Rumble, so follow along in the live feed.

Because “humina humina humina” isn’t an effective response to your boss praising the patriotism of white nationalists, Alabama Republican Senator Tommy Tuberville’s office released a statement attempting to clarify.  Asked by a reporter Monday if white nationalists should be kept out of the military, Tuberville responded, “Well, they call them that. I call them Americans.”

“We are losing in the military so fast.  Our readiness in terms of recruitment. And why? I’ll tell you why, because the Democrats are attacking our military, saying we need to get out the white extremists, the white nationalists, people that don’t believe in our agenda, as Joe Biden’s agenda. They’re destroying it,” Tuberville told WBHM, a public radio station, during an interview without mentioning the attrition caused by a two-decade period of war started during the Cheney/Bush administration. “This year, we will not reach any recruiting goals in the military. So if we want to talk about looking weak, that’s where we’re going to look weak. We cannot start putting rules in there for one type, one group and make different factions in the military, because that is the most important institution in the United States of America, and our allies, is a strong, hard-nosed, killing machine, which is called our military.”

A quote attributed to Martin Luther King that appeared in a famous Playboy interview in which the civil rights leader dismissed Malcolm X’s use of violent tactics and insinuated Malcolm’s advocacy harmed the Civil Rights movement was apparently created by writer Alex Haley, who conducted the interview, newly uncovered research shows, the Washington Post reports.

Asked by Haley to comment on “the articulate former Black Muslim, Malcolm X,” King’s response in the Q&A-style interview was published in the January 1965 issue of Playboy, released one month before Malcolm’s assassination, as this:

I have met Malcolm X, but circumstances didn’t enable me to talk with him for more than a minute.  I totally disagree with many of his political and philosophical views, as I understand them.  He is very articulate, as you say. I don’t want to seem to sound as if I feel so self-righteous, or absolutist, that I think I have the only truth, the only way.  Maybe he does have some of the answer.  But I know that I have so often felt that I wished that he would talk less of violence, because I don’t think that violence can solve our problem.  And in his litany of articulating the despair of the Negro without offering any positive, creative alternative, I feel that Malcolm has done himself and our people a great disservice.  Fiery, demagogic oratory in the black ghettos, urging Negroes to arm themselves and prepare to engage in violence, as he has done, can reap nothing but grief.”

A BBC News article about a Sheffield, England man beating another man to death with a sack full of Pokemon cards does a great job of making you feel guilty over laughing about the circumstances of the gruesome murder, with details about how the 50-year old victim, Simon Wilkinson was a loving father simply minding his business when his criminally insane neighbor Andrew Hague attacked him.

Only an asshole would caption this pic “This detective solved the case!” or something similar

Hague, 31, was sentenced to life in prison this week for the August 2, 2022 murder. The particularly heinous detail that Hague “mercy-killed” Wilkinson with his foot after horribly smashing in the other man’s skull with the heavy sack containing several tins filled with Pokemon cards really makes you feel like a dick for even thinking about working “Gotta Catch Em All!” into a joke about this. Basically you have no soul at all if you think any part of this is funny. You will burn in hell for it, you sick fuck.

The FBI on Wednesday missed a deadline to comply with House Oversight assclown James Comer’s subpoena for documents on some bullshit tip they supposedly received back in 2020 alleging Joe Biden had accepted bribes from Romania or something, the New York Post reports.

We would love to hear some input from Trump fans who high-fived over their Orange Warlord’s regime refusing to comply with oversight from the Dem House back in 2019 and 2020, and how this is totally different now so it’s illegal for the FBI to just ignore Comer. Comments below please.

WHERE’S HUNTER? 🤔

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) May 10, 2023

Manhattan federal Judge Lewis Kaplan on Wednesday unsealed a number of motions filed during the recently-concluded and not-good-concluded for defendant Donald Trump trial in the EJ Carroll rape and defamation lawsuit, one of them Trump’s move to oppose Carroll’s team’s ultimately unsuccessful attempt to get Juror 77, a fan of right wing incel podcaster Tim Pool, replaced.

“A juror’s political affiliation is not grounds for dismissal, even in cases involving a political figure,” Joe Tacopina wrote in the motion, which just kind of contradicts basically everything Trump has said about the jury since he lost the case, such as calling them “partisan” in a late night Truth Social meltdown. The appeal, if it even actually happens, ought to be fun.

Facing 13 federal criminal counts, George Anthony Devolder Santos tries unsuccessfully to portray himself as a victim of a political witch hunt, hoping to inspire his tens of supporters to push back on the increasing accusations (and his own admissions) that he’s a fraud.

The reality is, is it’s a witch hunt because i-i-i-it makes no sense that in four months, four months, five months, I’m indicted.  You have Joe Biden’s entire family receiving deposits from nine family members receiving money from foreign, from foreign destinations into their bank accounts.  It’s been years of exposing.  A lot of you here have been reporting on them and yet, no investigation is launched into them.  I’m gonna fight–well, I’m, I’m going to get into that–I’m gonna fight my battle.  I’m gonna deliver.  I’m gonna fight the witch hunt.  I’m gonna take care of clearing my name and I look forward to doing that.

One, witch hunts don’t end up finding witches, Anthony.  But pay attention to the crowd who immediately and loudly boo when Devolder tries to deflect to a conspiracy theory–debunked by the New York Times in 2019–that the Bidens illegally profited from a business relationship Hunter Biden had with a Romanian businessman, Gabriel Popoviciu–who also hired Rudy Giuliani to handle the same issue.

Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis has withdrawn her motion to have the lawyer who was representing the fake electors who attempted to undermine Georgia voters’ choice for president by submitting fake Electoral College ballots in January 2021 because the impacted targets have all hired new counsel.  Kimberly Bourroughs Debrow was representing 10 of the 16 fake electors, but reportedly failed to pass along offers of immunity and other beneficial deals to secure cooperation with investigators; lawyers who fail to share pertinent communications with opposing counsel, such as an offer to drop or reduce charges for their cooperation, breach their fiduciary responsibility to their clients and may be subject to bar discipline for not working in their clients’ best interests.

Appearing in federal court on Wednesday, Long Island Republican Congressman George Santos pleaded not guilty to the 13 count federal indictment against him, which we guess means he is guilty because… well you get the joke. CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane reporting on the plea, adding that Santos was released on $500,000 bond and will next appear on June 30th.

As Republicans around the country continue their quest to control women’s reproductive health, two Food and Drug Administration panels approved by a unanimous vote a birth control medication for over-the-counter sale without a prescription, CBS News reports.

HRA Pharma’s proposed Opill brand product would be the first birth control pill available without a prescription, opening the availability of the medication to consumers.  Opill’s primary agent is a drug called norgestrel, which has been prescribed since the 1970s.  Today’s prescription birth control formulations normally include multiple medications including estrogen.

“Last month, Ranking Member Raskin wrote a letter to Chairman Comer urging him ‘not to take any actions that would set a dangerous precedent for this Committee regarding the potentially unlawful disclosure of confidential and law enforcement information.’ Ranking Member Raskin also urged the Chairman to exercise ‘caution with regard to this confidential law enforcement information and avoid characterizing or mischaracterizing the unverified allegations’ contained in the SARs documents. Yet Chairman Comer has intentionally mischaracterized SARs documents, presenting unverified tips from financial institutions as facts. Committee Republicans’ inexplicable misuse of these confidential law enforcement documents is not only irresponsible, it demonstrates the hyper-partisan nature of Committee Republicans’ probe into the Biden family.”

“Although Chairman Comer continues to portray SARs as ‘bank violations’ during his media appearances, they clearly are not that. According to the Department of the Treasury, SARs are merely ‘preliminary and unverified tip-and-lead information.’ They are not evidence of a crime, wrongdoing, or even evidence of an existing investigation. The sheer number of SARs filed every year demonstrates this point: in 2020 alone, financial institutions submitted 2.5 million SARs to the U.S. government. Of the millions of SARs filed each year, very few produce actionable leads that are pursued by the government. According to the Bank Policy Institute (BPI), a nonpartisan public policy, research, and advocacy group that represents the nation’s leading banks, only 4% of SARs result in any follow-up action from law enforcement agencies. As BPI has explained, ‘Since banks are subject to enforcement action if they fail to file a SAR when they should have, but suffer no sanction if they file a useless SAR, the general presumption is to file a SAR,'” writes House Oversight Committee Ranking Member Jamie Raskin in a letter thoroughly demolishing the “bombshell evidence” of Biden family corruption Comer and his minions hyped to death before their weak rollout Wednesday.

TLDR: The “suspicious activity reports” are just tips filed to the Treasury Department from any random asshole who wants to do it. There’s no evidence any of them were actually acted upon.

Racist scumbag and future pardonee of Texas Governor Greg Abbott Daniel Perry was sentenced to 25 years in prison Wednesday for the murder of white US Air Force veteran Garrett Foster during a July 2020 Black Lives Matter protest in downtown Austin, the Texas Tribune reports.

With the sentence officially on the books, the paraplegic governor – unaffectionately nicknamed “Low Energy Greg” for his failures to provide adequate electricity for Texans – can follow the orders of now-fired white nationalist TV host Tucker Carlson and pardon a man who texted friends about hunting “a negro daddy” and Muslims prior to murdering Foster. And appears to be a pedophile too.

Dem-aligned watchdog group Congressional Integrity Project on Wednesday told the Washington Examiner they’re launching a six-figure ad campaign aimed at pressuring House Oversight Chairman James Comer to take some time to investigate the Trump family too – specifically Jared and Ivanka – if he’s so interested in pursuing allegations of corruption by presidential relatives.

“It has been over a hundred days since Comer said his committee would investigate the Trump family, and they have been radio silent on announcing hearings or sending letters requesting information. If Comer actually cared about potential influence peddling and corruption, he would be investigating how Ivanka, Don Jr, Eric, and Jared Kushner profited off their time in the White House instead of these baseless political stunts,” CIP director Kyle Herrig to the Examiner, adding “Comer would rather use his time to hold conspiracy theory-filled hearings and go on Fox News and Newsmax than hold these investigations that are all teed up for him.”

It’s not news that House Oversight Chairman James Comer is dumb and simply isn’t up to the task of selling the story of “Biden family corruption” to anyone outside of the MAGA voter base. Still, this moment is breathtaking, as a reporter asks Comer how he can “discount that Hunter Biden maybe just used his father’s name to get this money without any direct involvement from President Biden himself” and the fucking idiot simply walks right into it, saying “It would be hard for me to believe that Hunter Biden is so charismatic that he could convince foreign nationals to wire him millions.”

In other words, yes. Yes, it’s quite possible “just used his father’s name to get this money” because of said lack of charisma. Comer then tops it off with “We believe there was a return on the investment,” rather than “We have incontrovertible proof that Joe Biden knew and personally profited” from whatever the fuck this scheme was. None of the many clips of the rollout of this new Hunterghazi we almost used for this made any mention of that FBI document supposedly indicating some atrocious bribery scheme. The other lowlights include Comer boasting “We’re pretty confident that the president was very knowledgeable,” Congresswoman Nancy Mace saying “If these allegations, any of these allegations are proven true, then someone with the last name Biden needs to be charged, prosecuted, maybe spend a little time in prison,” and MAGA Congressman Byron Donalds begging the media to get on board by claiming “I’m giving you Pulitzer stuff here.”

Top House Republican political corruption expert George Santos was not present at the Capitol to address the media in the press conference, as he was currently indisposed for some reason.

The 13-count federal indictment against lying piece of shit Republican Long Island Congressman George Santos was unsealed Wednesday, as he turned himself in to face justice.

The sweeping indictment touches on several different scams associated with the former Brazilian drag queen and it is bloody: Five counts of wire fraud related to ripping off donors and falsely soliciting charitable contributions, three counts of unlawful monetary transactions when he apparently embezzled $74,000 in campaign contributions, and two counts of false statements on his House disclosure reports. Sounds like quite a bit of prison time if he’s found guilty at trial.

A woman described by the Daily Beast as a “senior Granite State Republican” says a CNN rep has been trying to convince her to show up and ask a question at the Wednesday night town hall because “they’re having a bit of an issue with women,” adding “I said to her, ‘What do you think that tells you?’ Because [Trump has] lost a lot of the female vote,” and that unsurprisingly most of the questions submitted to the network ahead of the town hall were from men.

Meanwhile Trump minions are freaking out about the timing of the event coming just over 24 hours after Donald was found liable for sexually abusing and defaming writer EJ Carroll, with one former adviser saying the disgraced former President is “walking into a complete ambush.”

“If I were on his communications team, I would be shitting my pants right now,” and that it “could not have come at a worse time for them, so I think this thing takes on a whole new dynamic. Majorly,” the former adviser said, adding that female moderator Kaitlan Collins is likely to cause “a real messaging problem” because “the more they try to say another witch hunt and bullshit like that, especially if you couple it with this abortion thing… women are very turned off by this shit.”