Fat former President Trump’s lawyers on Thursday notified New York Judge Juan Merchan the twice-impeached loser will seek to move the 34 count felony indictment over the 2016 hush money payment to pornstar Stormy Daniels from state court to federal court, CBS’s Graham Kates reports.

It’s not clear which lawyer pushed for the delay tactic. We know it’s not Joe Tacopina, since he was reassigned to the EJ Carroll rape trial a block away. Tacopenis hasn’t had a good day, first having to say “No,” his client isn’t really going to go “confront” Carroll in court and having to watch the tape of the deposition in which Donald basically told Carroll’s lawyer Roberta Kaplan that she’s unattractive, his exact words being “You wouldn’t be a choice of mine, either, to be honest.”

Carroll’s team are expected to rest her case on Thursday and it could go to the jury as early as this afternoon following testimony by her friend, TV anchor Carol Martin, one of two women whom with Carrol confided about the credibly alleged rape in the immediate aftermath circa 1996.

A federal jury in DC on Thursday found the leadership of fascist street gang the Proud Boys -Enrique Tarrio, Ethan Nordean, Joe Biggs, and Zach Rehl – guilty of seditious conspiracy for their role in the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection at the United States Capitol, finally ending an extremely long and complicated trial that lasted nearly four months, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports.

All four, plus the fifth defendant, Dominic Pezzola, were also found guilty of conspiracy to obstruct Congress. The jury is deadlocked on the seditious conspiracy count for Pezzola. It’s not clear yet if they will return to deliberating on that count for the scumbag. Either way, it’s yet another victory in the Justice Department’s long and still ongoing campaign to rain hell on the far right traitors who sought to destroy American democracy following their Orange Allah’s defeat.

In lieu of a reaction from the defendants, we’ll quote from a January 20th, 2021 text message by Nordean – later obtained by federal prosecutors – of his reaction to Donald leaving office without pardoning the Boys and the other insurrectionists. “Alright I’m gunna say it. FUCK TRUMP! Fuck him more than Biden. I’ve followed this guy for 4 years and given everything and lost it all. Yes he woke us up, but he led us to believe some great justice was upon us… and it never happened, now I’ve got some of my good friends and myself facing jail time cuz we followed this guys lead and never questioned it. We are now and always have been on our own. so glad he was able to pardon a bunch of degenerates as his last move and shit on us on the way out. Fuck you Trump you left us on [t]he battle field bloody and alone.” Somebody should print that one out and put it in a nice frame.

The text of Chapter 341, Section 061 of the 2023 Florida Transit Act, passed Wednesday by the Florida state Senate, mandates the Florida Department of Transportation “shall adopt by rule minimum safety standards for governmentally owned fixed-guideway transportation systems, and privately owned or operated fixed-guideway transportation systems operating in this state which are financed wholly or partly by state funds, and any governmentally or privately owned fixed-guideway transportation systems operating in this state which are located within an independent special district created by local act which have boundaries within two contiguous counties.”

Meaning all the owners and operators of privately owned or operated fixed-guideway transportation systems operating in the state which are financed wholly or partly by state funds, and any governmentally or privately owned fixed-guideway transportation systems operating in this state which are located within an independent special district created by local act which have boundaries within only one county don’t have to sweat this bill. Or the ones located within an independent special district created by local act which have boundaries within three or more contiguous counties. They’re also good if they’re located within an independent special district that wasn’t created by local act, even if that special district has boundaries within two contiguous counties.

In fact… and this is funny… There’s only one privately owned or operated fixed-guideway transportation system located within an independent special district created by local act which has boundaries within two contiguous counties. We guess the pluralizations can stay just in case someone else builds a fixed-guideway transportation system within an independent special district created by local act which has boundaries within two contiguous counties.

Facing a protective order prohibiting their mushroom-dicked client from whining publicly about the evidence in Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s 34 count felony indictment against him, far former President Trump’s lawyers argued in a Thursday memo to Judge Juan Merchan that prosecutors “have proposed what would be an unprecedented and extraordinarily broad muzzle on a leading contender for the presidency of the United States,” ABC News reports.

A hearing is set for later in the day, after which Merchan will decide if Trump’s attorneys bitching and moaning that the DA’s “attempt to gag a leading candidate for the Presidency of the United States and it is a clear infringement upon the First Amendment rights of the President Trump and the American electorate,” will be worth trying to enforce or if it might be more fun to let Donald find exciting and interesting new ways to incriminate himself ahead of the trial set for early next year.

Fat former President Trump on Thursday told reporters he’ll “probably” head to New York City to catch the tail end of the trial in write EJ Carroll’s federal lawsuit against him over a credible accusation of rape from the 1990s. “I will probably attend and I think it’s a disgrace that it’s allowed to happen, false accusations against a rich guy, or in my case against a famous, rich and political person,” said the twice-impeached loser from his golf course in Ireland. “I have to go back for a woman that made a false accusation about me, and I have a judge who is extremely hostile.”

Putin Regime spokesworm Dmitry Peskov on Thursday told reporters that the sketchy at best “assassination attempt” on Lord Vlad was planned by the United States, The New Daily reports

“Attempts to disown this (attack on the Kremlin), both in Kyiv and in Washington, are, of course, absolutely ridiculous. We know very well that decisions about such actions, about such terrorist attacks, are made not in Kyiv but in Washington,” said Peskov about the likely false flag.

The vicious liberal attack on the integrity of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas continues, as it turns out MAGA billionaire Harland Crow paid the $6,000 per month tuition for Clarence’s adoptive son Mark Martin at the Hidden Lake Academy in Georgia and Randolph-Macon Academy in Virginia over the course of four years, ProPublica reports in another “hit piece” on Clarence.

Republicans on the House Oversight Committee launched a fishing expedition Wednesday, demanding the FBI turn over information it may have received about Joe Biden in June 2020, when an unnamed whistleblower claims the future president was involved in a corruption scandal.  The whistleblower apparently claimed there was a major FBI cover-up of this report, and Republicans view this as the latest evidence of the Biden Crime Family in action!

If you dip a toe into the conservative cesspool in the next few days, you’ll likely hear about FBI form FD-1023, the FBI forms requested by the conspiracists on the committee which they claim proves the criminal scheme involving changing US policy to meet a foreign government’s demands.  Republicans like Marjorie Taylor Greene claim they have an FD-1023 that “links directly to Joe Biden.”  (We’ll insert the sound clip of a studio audience going “Oooohhhhh” here.)

This story from the Daily Beast is fucking nuts: Deadbeat dad loser 2022 Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker solicited a campaign donation from a MAGA billionaire named Dennis Washington and scammed the guy into wiring the money to an LLC rather than a campaign account.

Put very simply, Walker stole more than half a million dollars. Even better, emails obtained by the Beast reveal Walker refused to give it back or at the very least transfer the money from the LLC (called “HR Talent”). “We will need your assistance to get the prior contributions made to the HR Talent account in March corrected,” wrote Tim McHugh, executive VP at Washington’s company.

The Beast’s article is sprawling and rather than clip the many campaign finance experts quoted for analysis, we’ll just paste in their summary of it. “In fact, these experts all said, the scheme was so brazen that it appears to defy explanation, ranking it among the most egregious campaign finance violations in modern history,” Roger Sollenberger writes in this excellent piece of reporting.

One of the cornerstone beliefs in the American criminal justice system is that a defendant is innocent until proven guilty.  People learn this in law school.  Hell, watch a rerun of Cops and you hear the same message:  ” All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.”  Insurrectionist-loving Virginian Josh Hawley, the Republican Senator representing Missouri, apparently didn’t get that lesson in his years at Yale Law School, either in the classroom or on the TeeVee, because he wants Democrats to exonerate Joe Biden of some unspecified crime.

Speaking with a fill-in host in Tucker Carlson’s former slot–a fill-in so bad I won’t even mention his name because he’ll be back doing reports on-location in the swampy waters of the Rio Grande or at some antifa meeting next week–Hawley demands Democrats prove Biden innocent of some unspecific crime for which Hawley admits he has no actual evidence:  “And I just say again to those Democrats out there screaming about how Joe Biden is innocent:  ‘Joe Biden hasn’t done anything.’ Well, fine, then show us what you know.  Show us what the evidence is and the allegations.  Don’t be afraid of what the facts are.”

A new Vanderbilt University polling survey published Wednesday found majorities of Tennesseeans supportive of some pretty common sense gun control measures, with 72 percent in favor of red flag laws to seize weapons from those who threaten violence and 82 percent backing Governor Billy Lee’s executive order aimed at strengthening background checks.

Jack Smith’s investigation into the mishandling of classified documents by Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago is expanding to include questions about how surveillance tapes at the Florida geriatric supper club were handled, CNN reports.

Smith will bring two key witnesses before the grand jury:  Matthew Calamari Sr., the one-time security guard who rose to become executive vice president and COO of the Trump Org, and his son, Matthew Calamari Jr., who ran security for the company.  Prosecutors want to know what Trump and others did in response to a subpoena for government records, including if boxes or documents were moved after the subpoenas were issued in an attempt to hide the documents.

Donald Trump’s defense team will opt not to put on a defense in writer E. Jean Carroll’s battery and defamation lawsuit, a sign they believe Carroll did not provide enough evidence to support her claim that Trump assaulted her, Politico reports.  Carroll claimed Trump raped her in a New York City department store dressing room in the mid-1990s.

Joe Tacopina, the latest in a long line of questionable counsel hired by the former president, said Wednesday he had planned to call a psychiatrist to the stand as the defense’s only witness, but due to a medical issue, the witness was not available.  During Wednesday’s session, Carroll’s attorneys questioned a number of witnesses to whom Carroll gave contemporaneous accounts of the Trump assault before her claim became public in a 2019 New York Magazine.

A New York judge on Wednesday tossed disgraced former President Trump’s lawsuit against his niece, Mary and the New York Times over their publishing of his tax returns back in the heat of the 2020 campaign, and ordering Donald to pay the defendant’s legal fees, the Daily Beast reports.

The asshole Trump kids have been refusing to turn over documents sought by New York Attorney General in her ongoing fraud lawsuit against the corrupt family business, Forbes reports.

“Not only have defendants failed to offer any substantive response to this inquiry, but there have been no documents produced by Ms Trump,” AG Leticia James wrote in a letter to the judge.

Speaking to reporters from USA Today and other outlets on Wednesday, sycophantic wuss Lindsey Graham decried President Biden’s plan to send up to 1,500 troops to the southern border as “ridiculous theater.” When a reporter brought up that Lindsey’s master did the same thing in a panic over the stupid “caravans” in October 2018, Graham responded with “I feel that Donald Trump did the best job in my political lifetime. When Donald Trump did something, it worked.”

National Zero once got in trouble with readers for referring to Graham as a “homosexual chihuahua.”

Hick Congressman James Comer on Wednesday subpoenaed FBI Director Chris Wray for June 2020 documents which include allegations of a “criminal scheme involving then-Vice President Biden and a foreign national relating to the exchange of money for policy decisions,” Punchbowl reports.

Not to spoil the ending, and of course we could be wrong about this, but the key word here is “allegations.” Meaning that in June 2020, probably some Russian-allied Ukrainian scumbag told the FBI that Hunter Biden promised them access to Joe for a payoff and blah blah blah some shit like that and agents looked into it, found nothing, documented that they found nothing, and that was the end of it. Now three years later they dredge it back up to try to get some new mileage out of Hunterghazi ahead of the 2024 election because it’s not like they have anything else to work with.

Disgraced former President Trump’s sole live defense witness, an “expert” whose name and field are unspecified, will not be testifying in the EJ Carroll trial, Law and Crime’s Adam Klasfeld reports.