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Enter the Cancel-verse: Six months of insanely stupid grievances and bullshit conspiracies that went nowhere for MAGA Nation

The six months since Biden and Harris’s inauguration have been interesting, to say the least. There’s certainly a lot frustration on the left with what many of us may see as certain things being overpromised and underdelivered by Biden and the Dems. But it pales in comparison to the non-stop freakout the right wing have had on certain cultural issues and conspiracy theories – some based in reality but blown way out of proportion and others just completely fucking made up.

National Zero was there covering these stories as they came to us on the interwebs, and they may not be fully appreciated until they’re collected together in one place. You may vaguely recall Fox News-MAGA freakouts over Mr Potato Head and Doctor Seuss, but what about the John Kerry’s “crimes” or the Great Chick-Fil-A sauce shortage of 2021? The mental bandwidth necessary to stay on top of this bullshit is beyond reach for most humans, but luckily we’re here for a trip down dissociative memory lane. Please note the scope of this retrospective is mostly limited to cultural issues and fabricated controversies adjacent to the larger stories of politics and the still-ongoing Coronavirus pandemic between January 20th and July 20th, 2021 that eventually became dead ends for MAGA World. So just for a quick example we won’t be touching on stories like the fake Arizona audit or Critical Race Theory, as those unfortunately are still live wires in the vast, hateful universe of right wing propaganda media. We’ve also included a handful of center-left cultural outrages to serve as a contrast in volumes and actual gravity of the offenses.

January 2021

Trump melting down over Fauci, regrets not firing him: report

QAnon asshole Greene complains that the media never reported on her nice, Bible-themed Facebook posts, just the bad ones

Fox News personality says Fauci caused coronavirus outbreak in network’s ongoing attempt to undermine his credibility

MyPillow clown rants over ‘Cancel Culture’ destroying his business

February 2021

Former Trump spokesworm says there’s money to be made marketing to MAGA fans marginalized by corporations going ‘woke’

“Cancel Culture” not really that important to most Americans

Ilhan Omar hits back at House GOP losers trying to use her to distract from Marjorie Taylor Greene’s unhinged conspiracy bullshit

Mr. Potato Head sort of canceled by the Woke mob

March 2021

Hyatt condemns CPAC stage design

Jim Jordan demands committee hearings on cancel culture, doesn’t say what he thinks Congress is supposed to do about it

McCarthy says Democrats “outlawed Dr Seuss”

Free market-loving Texas Governor to outlaw social media bans

Burger King overshoots the target on International Women’s Day

Utah Republicans want porn sites blocked on all new devices sold

MAGA judge freaks out, wants Supreme Court to overturn 1964 case protecting media from defamation cases by public officials

Krispy Kreme forcing Anti-Vaxxers to chose donuts over freedom

“Cancel culture” coming for Monopoly’s Mr. Pennybags gifts

Trump rambles to Fox News that Dr Seuss and ‘the woke’ something makes America economically vulnerable to China

QAnon freaks connecting Suez canal clusterfuck to Clintons

MAGA Land still downright riveted by Suez Canal clusterfuck

Gateway Pundit freaks out over Biden line about fate of GOP

Twitter libs view Lindsey Graham’s sexuality as forgone conclusion

April 2021

Some MAGA asshole built a website dedicated solely to tracking the removal of dislikes on Biden White House YouTube videos

Texas Governor Greg Abbott cancels first pitch appearance at Rangers’ home opener because the libs are ruining baseball

Not sure if pic of Fox News chyron needs context, it may actually speak volumes about current state of right wing media on its own

Trump commands his fanbase to boycott Coca-Cola products, does shitty job of hiding Diet Coke bottle behind phone in pic

Rand Paul calls for Republicans to boycott Coca-Cola

Dan Crenshaw cries about the fascism of cancel culture

Black Fox News host cuts off Black guest for talking too much about cops abusing Black folks, too little about ‘rioting and looting’

Jim Jordan’s jock strap stretched to the breaking point with rage at Fauci, Maxine Waters screams at him to calm down and shut up

MAGA Land fake outrage machine circles back to Maxine Waters

Spartan NZ ✓TEAM SOROS™ • 3 months ago
️McCarthy’s right.
Calling themselves the “Anglo-Saxon caucus” isn’t a dog whistle. It’s pretty straight up white nationalism.
Fri, 4/16/2021 5:58 PM on ‘McCarthy: GOP not the party of ‘nativist dog whistles”

Pelosi ignores Republicans’ tears over Maxine Waters

Herr McVerkterleiben • 3 months ago
️Has she given them any material support? Material support for terrorists is a crime.
Tue, 4/20/2021 1:33 PM on ‘Britney Spears voices support for Black Lives Matter’

MAGA World clinging to Maxine Waters like a life raft

The Great Gazoo • 3 months ago
️SHUT UP NBA……..no wonder their playoff ratings were the worst in 40 years.
Tue, 4/20/2021 6:01 PM on ‘NBA praises Chauvin guilty verdict, vows to push for ‘meaningful change”

Orlando Sentinel publishes guest op-ed titled “I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience” written by this man

Larry Kudlow warns Americans Biden will force them to drink “plant based beer” at their family Fourth of July cookouts

Bar owner refuses to show NBA games until LeBron ‘expelled’

Reward : 6 Gurrilion • 3 months ago
️Boycott Hollywood
Sun, 4/25/2021 9:37 PM on ‘Chloé Zhao becomes first woman of color to win Oscar for directing’

USDA denies Biden trying to limit red meat: ‘This is a fabrication’

MAGA Nation freaking out over John Kerry for some reason

Fox News airs 30 second correction after days and days of falsely reporting Biden’s climate plan aimed to reduce meat consumption


Breitbart bitches about Kamala Harris’s book given to migrant kids, never reported on who bought up Ted Cruz and Don Jr’s books

Surprise! The “copies of Kamala Harris’s book are being handed out to every migrant kid” story is complete overblown horseshit

New York Post deletes Kamala Harris book story

Reporter resigns from NY Post over Harris book story

May 2021

Twitter allows racist slur against Tim Scott to trend for 12 hours, confirming activist bias

Pirro cannot let go of debunked claim that Biden will ban burgers

“They’re just searching for things to be offended by” says Tomi Lahren without a hint of irony about Fox’s new Snow White freakout

Androgynous old hick weighs in on new Snow White “controversy”

Will • 3 months ago
️Get woke go broke. They’ll go out of business in short order.
Mon, 5/3/2021 2:44 PM on ‘Eleven Madison Park to reopen with no meat’

Joe Concha’s insufferable whining reaches new pitch

Star of “Beach Bar: The Movie” asks question at WH Press Briefing

Joni Ernst calls Cheney purge “cancel culture”

Florida racist canceled by Black Dunkin Donuts employee’s fist

Republican Oklahoma Governor’s campaign fundraising off Chick-fil-A sauce shortage, which is Joe Biden’s fault for some reason

Maryland drops anti-Lincoln state anthem, causing members of the ‘Party of Lincoln’ to respond by bitching about ‘cancel culture’

Newest Gateway Pundit “scandal” extra fucking stupid

Newsmax viewers alerted to existence of new homo cereal

Rudy blocks The Contentious Otter on Twitter

Pirro is convinced Fauci knew pandemic was coming in 2017

June 2021

“Cancel Cancel Culture”-branded gear a whole section unto itself at Sarah Huckabee Sanders gubernatorial campaign shop

Rural North Carolina county takes stand against woke cancel culture by canceling Coke machines from government properties

Orange God Emperor freaks out after seeing the words “Fauci” and “emails” in same sentence, not the emails themselves as he claims

Ben Shapiro’s website reports on “chart-topping” white “anti-woke” rapper without actually specifying which chart he topped

Show us on the doll where Wells Fargo woked you

Joint Chiefs Chairman calmly and methodically rips Matt Gaetz and pals’ balls off addressing bullshit “woke military” panic

“Jill Biden Vogue cover sparks calls of media bias” says Fox News chyron on segment of Tomi Lahren making said calls of media bias

Whiny conservative watchdog all but accuses Fauci of ‘election interference’ for October 2020 Washington Post interview answer

Man who was in Star Wars film for about 10 seconds says he hates Disney for going “woke”, quietly dropping “Slave I” spaceship name

July 2021

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Caitlyn Jenner feud on Twitter

USWNT team hit with false claims that members turned away from flag

Life coach has unsolicited advice for younger, more famous fellow Tennesseean woman about the dangers of repressive Marxism

Fox News refuses to acknowledge lies they told about US Women’s National Soccer Team insulting veteran

Tucker has a hissy fit that a reporter is checking his NSA claim

Tucker pissed at Fox News for not buying his NSA ‘spying’ tales

The Future

Happy six months in office to President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Senators Reverend Raphael Warnock, Jon Ossoff, and Alex Padilla. Happy Loser-versary to Trump.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Bravest flight crew to pilot first Boeing Starliner manned spaceflight

2 hours ago

“COMPLETE LOCKDOWN mode”

2 hours ago

Day 3 of the Trump election interference trial: Pecker testimony flips to cross-examination as he spills names of other Catch/Kill clients

3 hours ago

Trump claims he was never really gonna “lock her up”

3 hours ago

Britain preparing for another monarch’s funeral already

4 hours ago

Giuliani sounds like he’ll flip on Christina Bobb in Arizona

5 hours ago

Planned Parenthood announces $10M voter drive in North Carolina

6 hours ago

USC cancels main graduation ceremony over Israel controversy

7 hours ago

Doddering Defendant babbles about nation needing something now that it hasn’t needed during its first 248 years

8 hours ago

Merchan schedules another contempt hearing

8 hours ago

Judge completely rejects Trump’s appeal of Carroll judgment

12 hours ago

First cargo ships leave Baltimore harbor after bridge collapse

13 hours ago

LIVE UPDATES: Trump legal apocalypse double-header

16 hours ago

Comer hasn’t been on Hannity’s show since March 12th

16 hours ago

US Q1 2024 GDP growth slows to 1.6 percent, misses expectations

16 hours ago

The Grey Lady’s kind of a psychotic bitch to the Biden White House

17 hours ago

Heroic Florida man runs over alligator chomping on neighbor’s leg

17 hours ago

Biden 2024 marks one year since 2023 launch of campaign

18 hours ago

Venice begins charging admission fee to selfie-stick holders

19 hours ago

Galled Gourd lightens slap at former AG Barr

1 day ago

The numbnuts videotaped their crime

1 day ago

A recap before Day 2 of Pecker exposés on stand

1 day ago

Watters has literal conniption on air after Arizona indictments

1 day ago

Secret Service agent assigned to protect VP Harris removed after exhibiting “disturbing behavior” prior to flight

1 day ago

The five “Unindicted Coconspirators”

1 day ago

Arizona Attorney General charges all 11 fake Trump 2020 electors; others indicted include Meadows, Giuliani, Ellis, Eastman

1 day ago

Nunes asks his buddies in the House to harass DJT short sellers

1 day ago

Trump campaign, PACs using vendor to conceal legal payments

1 day ago

Which genius thought showing up at Columbia was a good idea?

1 day ago

Georgia prison inmate’s bold “steal pepper spray and use it to temporarily blind corrections officer” plan works all too brilliantly

1 day ago

Arizona state House passes repeal of 1864 abortion ban

1 day ago

RNC chair not only creates election conspiracy theories, she manufactures the US states where she’s suing to prove them

1 day ago

RFK Jr pulls more Trump support in new QU poll

1 day ago

New Jersey Democratic Congressman Donald Payne Jr. dies

1 day ago

Gateway Pundit declares bankruptcy

1 day ago

Michigan AG names Trump, Rudy, Meadows as co-conspirators

1 day ago

New right wing Slovak government replaces public broadcaster Radio and Television of Slovakia with Slovak Television and Radio

1 day ago

Fox News goes with “the ballots were already printed” excuse

2 days ago

Voyager 1 unfucked: NASA

2 days ago

Comer “fed up,” hoping “Jesus comes so he can get out”

2 days ago

“Birdbrain” still pulls 16.5 percent in Pennsylvania GOP primary

2 days ago

Biden and Buttigieg increase airline executive pain and suffering

2 days ago

Orange God Emperor demands GOP “TAKE ACTION” for him

2 days ago

A key battleground state, Pennsylvania’s primary foreshadows challenges for Trump in November

2 days ago

FTC bans non-compete agreements for employees

2 days ago

Senate overwhelmingly passes foreign aid bill along with deadline for Chinese government sale of TikTok

2 days ago

Tennessee legislature passes bill allowing teachers, staff to carry concealed weapons on school grounds

2 days ago

FBI Director, a Trump appointee, says Bureau won’t follow Trump’s demands to investigate political rivals if he gets second term

2 days ago

The inanity of Jesse Watters goes to 11 during Trump trial

2 days ago

Biden Administration extends overtime pay rules to millions

2 days ago

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