Enter the Cancel-verse: Six months of insanely stupid grievances and bullshit conspiracies that went nowhere for MAGA Nation

The six months since Biden and Harris’s inauguration have been interesting, to say the least. There’s certainly a lot frustration on the left with what many of us may see as certain things being overpromised and underdelivered by Biden and the Dems. But it pales in comparison to the non-stop freakout the right wing have had on certain cultural issues and conspiracy theories – some based in reality but blown way out of proportion and others just completely fucking made up.

National Zero was there covering these stories as they came to us on the interwebs, and they may not be fully appreciated until they’re collected together in one place. You may vaguely recall Fox News-MAGA freakouts over Mr Potato Head and Doctor Seuss, but what about the John Kerry’s “crimes” or the Great Chick-Fil-A sauce shortage of 2021? The mental bandwidth necessary to stay on top of this bullshit is beyond reach for most humans, but luckily we’re here for a trip down dissociative memory lane. Please note the scope of this retrospective is mostly limited to cultural issues and fabricated controversies adjacent to the larger stories of politics and the still-ongoing Coronavirus pandemic between January 20th and July 20th, 2021 that eventually became dead ends for MAGA World. So just for a quick example we won’t be touching on stories like the fake Arizona audit or Critical Race Theory, as those unfortunately are still live wires in the vast, hateful universe of right wing propaganda media. We’ve also included a handful of center-left cultural outrages to serve as a contrast in volumes and actual gravity of the offenses.

January 2021

Trump melting down over Fauci, regrets not firing him: report

QAnon asshole Greene complains that the media never reported on her nice, Bible-themed Facebook posts, just the bad ones

Fox News personality says Fauci caused coronavirus outbreak in network’s ongoing attempt to undermine his credibility

MyPillow clown rants over ‘Cancel Culture’ destroying his business

February 2021

Former Trump spokesworm says there’s money to be made marketing to MAGA fans marginalized by corporations going ‘woke’

“Cancel Culture” not really that important to most Americans

Ilhan Omar hits back at House GOP losers trying to use her to distract from Marjorie Taylor Greene’s unhinged conspiracy bullshit

Mr. Potato Head sort of canceled by the Woke mob

March 2021

Hyatt condemns CPAC stage design

Jim Jordan demands committee hearings on cancel culture, doesn’t say what he thinks Congress is supposed to do about it

McCarthy says Democrats “outlawed Dr Seuss”

Free market-loving Texas Governor to outlaw social media bans

Burger King overshoots the target on International Women’s Day

Utah Republicans want porn sites blocked on all new devices sold

MAGA judge freaks out, wants Supreme Court to overturn 1964 case protecting media from defamation cases by public officials

Krispy Kreme forcing Anti-Vaxxers to chose donuts over freedom

“Cancel culture” coming for Monopoly’s Mr. Pennybags gifts

Trump rambles to Fox News that Dr Seuss and ‘the woke’ something makes America economically vulnerable to China

QAnon freaks connecting Suez canal clusterfuck to Clintons

MAGA Land still downright riveted by Suez Canal clusterfuck

Gateway Pundit freaks out over Biden line about fate of GOP

Twitter libs view Lindsey Graham’s sexuality as forgone conclusion

April 2021

Some MAGA asshole built a website dedicated solely to tracking the removal of dislikes on Biden White House YouTube videos

Texas Governor Greg Abbott cancels first pitch appearance at Rangers’ home opener because the libs are ruining baseball

Not sure if pic of Fox News chyron needs context, it may actually speak volumes about current state of right wing media on its own

Trump commands his fanbase to boycott Coca-Cola products, does shitty job of hiding Diet Coke bottle behind phone in pic

Rand Paul calls for Republicans to boycott Coca-Cola

Dan Crenshaw cries about the fascism of cancel culture

Black Fox News host cuts off Black guest for talking too much about cops abusing Black folks, too little about ‘rioting and looting’

Jim Jordan’s jock strap stretched to the breaking point with rage at Fauci, Maxine Waters screams at him to calm down and shut up

MAGA Land fake outrage machine circles back to Maxine Waters

Spartan NZ ✓TEAM SOROS™ • 3 months ago
️McCarthy’s right.
Calling themselves the “Anglo-Saxon caucus” isn’t a dog whistle. It’s pretty straight up white nationalism.
Fri, 4/16/2021 5:58 PM on ‘McCarthy: GOP not the party of ‘nativist dog whistles”

Pelosi ignores Republicans’ tears over Maxine Waters

Herr McVerkterleiben • 3 months ago
️Has she given them any material support? Material support for terrorists is a crime.
Tue, 4/20/2021 1:33 PM on ‘Britney Spears voices support for Black Lives Matter’

MAGA World clinging to Maxine Waters like a life raft

The Great Gazoo • 3 months ago
️SHUT UP NBA…… wonder their playoff ratings were the worst in 40 years.
Tue, 4/20/2021 6:01 PM on ‘NBA praises Chauvin guilty verdict, vows to push for ‘meaningful change”

Orlando Sentinel publishes guest op-ed titled “I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience” written by this man

Larry Kudlow warns Americans Biden will force them to drink “plant based beer” at their family Fourth of July cookouts

Bar owner refuses to show NBA games until LeBron ‘expelled’

Reward : 6 Gurrilion • 3 months ago
️Boycott Hollywood
Sun, 4/25/2021 9:37 PM on ‘Chloé Zhao becomes first woman of color to win Oscar for directing’

USDA denies Biden trying to limit red meat: ‘This is a fabrication’

MAGA Nation freaking out over John Kerry for some reason

Fox News airs 30 second correction after days and days of falsely reporting Biden’s climate plan aimed to reduce meat consumption

Breitbart bitches about Kamala Harris’s book given to migrant kids, never reported on who bought up Ted Cruz and Don Jr’s books

Surprise! The “copies of Kamala Harris’s book are being handed out to every migrant kid” story is complete overblown horseshit

New York Post deletes Kamala Harris book story

Reporter resigns from NY Post over Harris book story

May 2021

Twitter allows racist slur against Tim Scott to trend for 12 hours, confirming activist bias

Pirro cannot let go of debunked claim that Biden will ban burgers

“They’re just searching for things to be offended by” says Tomi Lahren without a hint of irony about Fox’s new Snow White freakout

Androgynous old hick weighs in on new Snow White “controversy”

Will • 3 months ago
️Get woke go broke. They’ll go out of business in short order.
Mon, 5/3/2021 2:44 PM on ‘Eleven Madison Park to reopen with no meat’

Joe Concha’s insufferable whining reaches new pitch

Star of “Beach Bar: The Movie” asks question at WH Press Briefing

Joni Ernst calls Cheney purge “cancel culture”

Florida racist canceled by Black Dunkin Donuts employee’s fist

Republican Oklahoma Governor’s campaign fundraising off Chick-fil-A sauce shortage, which is Joe Biden’s fault for some reason

Maryland drops anti-Lincoln state anthem, causing members of the ‘Party of Lincoln’ to respond by bitching about ‘cancel culture’

Newest Gateway Pundit “scandal” extra fucking stupid

Newsmax viewers alerted to existence of new homo cereal

Rudy blocks The Contentious Otter on Twitter

Pirro is convinced Fauci knew pandemic was coming in 2017

June 2021

“Cancel Cancel Culture”-branded gear a whole section unto itself at Sarah Huckabee Sanders gubernatorial campaign shop

Rural North Carolina county takes stand against woke cancel culture by canceling Coke machines from government properties

Orange God Emperor freaks out after seeing the words “Fauci” and “emails” in same sentence, not the emails themselves as he claims

Ben Shapiro’s website reports on “chart-topping” white “anti-woke” rapper without actually specifying which chart he topped

Show us on the doll where Wells Fargo woked you

Joint Chiefs Chairman calmly and methodically rips Matt Gaetz and pals’ balls off addressing bullshit “woke military” panic

“Jill Biden Vogue cover sparks calls of media bias” says Fox News chyron on segment of Tomi Lahren making said calls of media bias

Whiny conservative watchdog all but accuses Fauci of ‘election interference’ for October 2020 Washington Post interview answer

Man who was in Star Wars film for about 10 seconds says he hates Disney for going “woke”, quietly dropping “Slave I” spaceship name

July 2021

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Caitlyn Jenner feud on Twitter

USWNT team hit with false claims that members turned away from flag

Life coach has unsolicited advice for younger, more famous fellow Tennesseean woman about the dangers of repressive Marxism

Fox News refuses to acknowledge lies they told about US Women’s National Soccer Team insulting veteran

Tucker has a hissy fit that a reporter is checking his NSA claim

Tucker pissed at Fox News for not buying his NSA ‘spying’ tales

The Future

Happy six months in office to President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Senators Reverend Raphael Warnock, Jon Ossoff, and Alex Padilla. Happy Loser-versary to Trump.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Who killed the MAGA media universe’s stories about Kevin Cramer defending the Capitol cop who killed Ashli Babbitt

5 hours ago

Insurrectionists’ volunteer defense attorney recommends they read book, gets called traitor, Nazi, communist for her efforts

6 hours ago

Washington DC reinstates mask mandate for all persons over the age of two

7 hours ago

As Florida suffers, Gaetz jokes he has “Florida variant” of virus

8 hours ago

Florida reports over 21000 new Covid19 cases in a single day

9 hours ago

Bitcoin investors fear new financial transaction reporting rules in Senate infrastructure bill

9 hours ago

Long Island county may allow police to sue protesters for damages

10 hours ago

Unreliable narrators

11 hours ago

Senators meeting over the weekend to hash out details of infrastructure bill

11 hours ago

When Trump’s candidate Susan Wright knew she was screwed

12 hours ago

Ronny Deathsentence engages in MAGA political theater by banning mask requirements for schools

13 hours ago

Why the shortage of workers for retail and service jobs may be permanent

14 hours ago

Tennessee right wing radio host now on ventilator

17 hours ago

Texas Civil Rights project claims a million new voter registrations since September 2020 court win on drivers’ license update rider

17 hours ago

Cawthorn caught trying to bring gun on plane

18 hours ago

Service robots used during the Tokyo Olympics offer a glimpse of the future of eldercare

19 hours ago

Sudden surge of vaccinations reported in Delta-hit regions

19 hours ago

Federal prosecutors hacked by Russia in 2020, DOJ says

1 day ago

Random thoughts Friday, Volume XXX

1 day ago

Three GOP Congressmen accused of hiding $22 million in stock trades

1 day ago

Women for Trump founder still won’t let go

1 day ago

Carlson didn’t get the memo that conservative now favor vaccines

1 day ago

Boston transit officials not ruling out agonized utilitarian resolution to ethical dilemma as factor in trolley collision that injured 23

1 day ago

Who killed the MAGA media universe’s stories about Kevin Cramer defending the Capitol cop who killed Ashli Babbitt?

1 day ago

Ethics complaint filed against Cawthorn by GOP WV Rep’s staffer

1 day ago

Woman who oversees state with third-worst coronavirus infection rate says she still won’t promote vaccines

1 day ago

You mean that metaphorically, right?

1 day ago

Walmart imposing vax mandate on all corporate staff

2 days ago

He doesn’t need a blue check mark

2 days ago

Republican Senator anonymously disputes Trump’s omnipotence in Politico report on Herschel Walker’s potential run in Georgia

2 days ago

White House fence jumper tackled by cops and Secret Service

2 days ago

DOJ rules Treasury must turn over Trump taxes to Congress

2 days ago

RawStory fucking sucks

2 days ago

Ted Nugent quits NRA post

2 days ago

Sixty-seven year old man such an obsessed fangirl he actually added “Endorsed By President Trump 🇺🇸” to his Twitter name

2 days ago

Trump told Justice Department in December: “Just say that the election was corrupt and leave the rest to me”

2 days ago

Walmart to require masks for workers in high-outbreak regions

2 days ago

“I should have gotten the damn vaccine”: Las Vegas man, 39 years old, father of five children, shortly before dying of Coronavirus

2 days ago

Michigan GOP pretty much completely overrun by MAGA cult

2 days ago

Turning the “freedom” bullshit around on anti-vaxxers

2 days ago

South Carolina MAGA jerkoff to primary Republican Congressman Tom Rice for insufficient loyalty to Orange God Emperor

2 days ago

Frau Ingraham just a bit salty with GOP leadership

2 days ago

Mysterious jetpack-flying asshole spotted again near LAX

2 days ago

QAnon adulteress melts down over getting booted from DC lockup

2 days ago

Myanmar regime weaponizing Coronavirus against dissent

2 days ago

Space Station soared out of control after Russian module misfires

2 days ago

Man injured at Florida zoo after… oh, c’mon, you know what he did

2 days ago

Former Michigan Senator Carl Levin dead at 87

2 days ago

MyPillow asshole pulls all ads from Fox News after network refuses to run promo for his stolen 2020 election cyber something bullshit

2 days ago

Tucker Carlson says someone else has “no adult skills”

2 days ago