Categories
Uncategorized

“You know that joke when a guy plays a prank pretending to be a corpse and then moving? It ain’t funny,” Iowa mortician says

This Weekend at Bernie’s preboot is horrific.  An Iowa mortician found a live 66-year-old woman gasping for air inside a body bag sent to his funeral home by a nearby Alzheimer’s care facility last month, costing the company a $10,000 fine and confirming the adage that it never hurts to check one more time.

According to NBC News, the woman was admitted to hospice at the Glen Oaks Alzheimer’s Special Care Center in Urbandale December 28th suffering from “senile degeneration of the brain.”  During early morning rounds on January 3rd, a nurse checked the unnamed patient and found no signs of response, with the woman lying in bed, eyes open and pupils fixed.  The nurse saw no signs of breathing and could not locate a pulse or a heartbeat using a stethoscope.  Believing the patient to be dead, the nurse contacted her supervisor and the patient’s designated family member.

But there was a problem.  She wasn’t dead yet.  The mortician on call put the patient in a cloth body bag on a gurney around 8 a.m. and observed no signs of life.  After around five minutes to exit the facility, a ten-minute drive to the funeral home, and form processing for around five minutes, the staff of the funeral home opened the bag to find the woman gasping for air.  EMTs called to the scene found the woman breathing but unresponsive.  She was taken to a local hospital where she was treated and released back to the hospice facility, where she died with her family–who undoubtedly now know more lawyers than at any other time in their lives–by her side.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Iowans attending Jaydee rally were paid $100 each

17 hours ago

Tyler Robinson trial to be televised

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Corpse makes everyone feel worse

2 days ago

Virginia Supreme Court overturns redistricting referendum

2 days ago

Regime releases 162 boring UFO files

2 days ago

John Solomon reports K$H just swinging for the fences now

2 days ago

Labour takes a savage beating in local UK elections

2 days ago

Comey tries to duck next court appearance

2 days ago

“That bitch”

2 days ago

US bombs Iranian port but war totally not starting again

2 days ago

Mike Huckabee deeply disappointed in his manchildhood hero

3 days ago

Lula leaves White House without scheduled joint media hit

3 days ago

Chinese oil tanker hit by Iranian fire in Strait of Hormuz

3 days ago

Supreme Court to testify at Senate hearing on May 20th

3 days ago

Lower-profile MAGA outlet airs the rage porn Fox News won’t

3 days ago

Karoline, grandfatherly-aged husband welcome baby girl

3 days ago

The Brainworm turns

3 days ago

Orange Karen screams for Jeffries to be charged

3 days ago

Raisin-textured man confronted with dismal MSM poll on Newsmax

3 days ago

Average gas price increase inches toward price Trump promised

3 days ago

Tim Scott says he thinks “there is a good chance that we will be able to expand the majority if everything goes our way”

3 days ago

President Trump forcefully counters narrative of him as nearly dead

3 days ago

Israel still bombing Gaza

3 days ago

Concern Lady admits to neurological condition

3 days ago

Orange Fuhrer claims Pope wants Iran to have a nuclear weapon

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Robo-wife and Catheter Cushion play pretend

4 days ago

Reich FBI raids Virginia state senate president’s offices

4 days ago

Ted Turner has died

4 days ago

K$H launches witch hunt to find out who “lied” about him

4 days ago

Fox News reports vice president has gone completely woke

4 days ago

Insecure tyrant unwilling to commit to false victory narrative

4 days ago

Jesus Trump post’s approval rating could use some work

4 days ago

Howard Nutlick has rough morning of testimony ahead

4 days ago

Wall Street Journal reports OpenAI suppressing truth about goblins

4 days ago

Putsch fails

4 days ago

Unstable man’s mood swings again

4 days ago

Regime DEI purge missed wannabe Trump assassin at FAA

5 days ago

“Presidential fitness” to be said with a straight face: Watch live

5 days ago

Putsch aims to topple Ramaswamy in Ohio

5 days ago

Trade deficit increase quantifies Trump failure on his own terms

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Boozebreath and General Tendies battle media

5 days ago

US sends Iran a message by blowing up boat in Carribbean

5 days ago

One more cringey misappropriation of Star Wars for the road…

5 days ago

MAGA Congressman Chuck Edwards likes his staffers young

5 days ago

The words “Biden” and “Buttigieg” absent from Spirit’s bankruptcy

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump another day closer to death

5 days ago

Cranky old asshole a little late on the “fact check” on ABC News

6 days ago

Orange Ayatollah threatening to wipe Iran out again

6 days ago

May 4th tradition of cringey desecration continues apace

6 days ago

Supreme Court unblocks abortion drug availability

6 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x