Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday arrived at Andrews Air Force Base expecting to jet off to London only to be told his designated plane was experiencing some mechanical issues. Per Punchbowl News, officials offered to bump another Congressional delegation off their flight but he declined and booked an economy-plus United Airlines seat to head to England.

Which means one of two things happened: (A) Johnson called Trump, JD Vance, or Pete Hegseth to ask to borrow Air Force One or some other government/military plane that wasn’t booked and was told “Lol, no” or (B) He didn’t even bother asking because he knew the answer would be “Lol, no.”

Look, you can laugh all day about the Trump Regime caring so little about the second in line to the presidency and the top-ranking elected official in a putatively coequal branch of government that he has to book a commercial ticket, question whether there’s any real actual purpose to him flying to London to exchange awkward handshakes with Tory leaders, and so on. It’s funny when it happens to Mike Johnson. But to the Speaker of the House, especially when in 350-odd days that Speaker of the House is more likely than not to be Hakeem Jeffries? No, that’s not cool. Even if you wouldn’t be all that upset if five burly soccer hooligans somehow drunkenly mistook Johnson for Inter Milan’s president and summarily throttled him to death while the United flight was two hours from the nearest landmass with a runway it could divert to, the office is important enough to merit access to a plane good enough to take a high-ranking passenger. Doesn’t mean there has to be a “Speaker Force One” fueled, crewed, and flight-ready 24/7 everywhere he goes, but the largest single air fleet in the world also should be able to shake one loose for him or her at the last minute if need be.