Category: Uncategorized

The captain of a parasailing adventure boat in Marathon, Florida cut the line connecting the parasail to the boat in high winds, causing the sail to drag the three people in the harness–a mother, her son and her nephew–across the water before crashing into a bridge, killing the mother, the Miami Herald (via Yahoo) reports.

The three were pulled from the water by a charter fishing boat that came to the rescue.  Supraja Alaparthi, a 33-year-old from Schaumburg, Illinois was killed in the accident.  Her 10-year-old was was pulled from the water injured but conscious.  Her 9-year-old nephew was unconscious and wrapped in the chute’s cords when he was found.  The Good Samaritan boater and his two clients got the three aboard their boat and rushed them to a nearby restaurant to rescue personnel.

The captain of the parasailing boat said that an incoming storm had such force that it “pegged” the sail, pulling the boat backwards, forcing him to cut the cord before the boat was dragged backwards underwater.  Parasailing industry experts, however, say cutting the cord is an absolute last resort and that the captain had many other maneuvers he could have done before the cord needed to be cut, including zigzagging the boat to reduce the force of the wind on the sail.

An elderly woman was killed and two men shot in the parking lot of the historical black Xavier University in New Orleans following a high school graduation at the college’s arena, WAFD CBS-9 in Baton Rouge reports.

The shooting seems to have started as an argument between two women in the parking lot that caused people to draw guns and open fire because everyone should be able to draw guns anywhere to protect themselves from people who draw guns.  Anyway, someone shot first and then everyone fired.

The elderly woman who was killed was not a member of either party involved in the gunfight and was an innocent bystander fatally struck by a stray bullet.

A nine-year-old girl hiking on a Washington mountain trail with two of her friends Saturday morning fought off an attack by a cougar, surviving with wounds to her face and chest, NBC News reports.

While their friend was getting mauled, the other two girls ran away and got help.  The girl fought until the cougar ran off, before adults made it to the scene.  The girl, covered in blood, was flown to a local hospital, where is she is being treated for her wounds and is expected to survive.

The young male cougar suspected in the attack was hunted down and killed.  Wildlife officials say a cougar attack on a human is a rare occurrence, typically when it’s a mother protecting an unseen cub den.  In this case, the cougar attacked like the girl was prey.  “In this instance, this little girl did nothing wrong,” Fish and Wildlife spokeswoman Staci Lehman said. “It happened so quickly, and there’s nothing she could have done to prevent it.”

A lawyer for the unnamed teacher accused by law enforcement officials and Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) of facilitating the murder of 19 students and two teachers by propping a back door to the school open said the teacher intentionally closed the door when she realized there was a gunman on the loose, the San Antonio Express-News reports.

The statement further clouds the issue of the reliability of the accounts given by the school police, the local police, state officials and Cruz, who has lambasted the teachers he thinks should have more responsibility for defending students from gunmen than police or government officials.

On Friday, Texas Department of Public Safety Director Steve McCraw told the media that a teacher had intentionally propped the door open; that claim appears in doubt now.

1. Trudeau quickly filled his father’s shoes, but in Canada not Cuba.

This video emits nauseating weakness.

A full on tyrannical gun control speech announcement with leaders in the background still masking bc of covid, which they’ve all been heavily vaxxed for. pic.twitter.com/3mV9YZpFr2

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) May 31, 2022

We all know Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Georgia) is crazy, and she just continues to confirm our belief.  Here, she repeats an old conspiracy theory from the 1990s that Justin Trudeau is not the son of former Canadian Pierre Trudeau, but is, in (non-)fact the son of former Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.

Greene goes on to claim that Canada is relying on the US to defend its sovereignty–as all NATO nations do, according to conservatives, who refuse to acknowledge that the only nation who ever asked for NATO’s assistance under the joint defense pact laid out in Article 5 of the NATO charter was–wait for it–the United States!

The Uvalde Police Department and the police department for the city’s school district has ceased cooperating with the state probe into the police response to the shooter who killed 19 students and two teachers at Robb Elementary School, ABC News reports.

According to ABC’s sources, the local departments stopped cooperating with state authorities after the head of the Texas Department of Public Safety, Col. Steven McCraw, told a Friday press conference that the people handing the response to the active shooter made  “the wrong decision” in not sending in officers.

Supreme Court Justice Sammy Alito put a temporary hold on counting undated ballots in the razor-thin Pennsylvania Republican Senate primary between Mehmet Oz and David McCormick on Tuesday, reversing a lower court decision that permitted the votes – thought to mostly favor McCormick who trails Oz by less than a thousand going into the recount – to be counted, which could tip a judicial race where David Ritter, a Republican state judge candidate in the Lehigh Valley trails Dem opponent Zachary Cohen, CNN reports. Ritter brought the case, which was joined by the Oz campaign legal team, putting McCormick’s team on the side of a socialist Dem.

Also on Tuesday he Court upheld a lower court injunction blocking the Texas state law that would ban social media companies from monitoring and censoring content on their sites, a major defeat for conservative complaints that they are being silenced online. The decision does not rule on the legality of the law, but it does make it unlikely that the Court would uphold the law; the Supreme Court would have allowed the law to go into effect if it felt that it had reasonable legal merits. Alito, Thomas and Gorsuch, joined by liberal Kagan, voted to lift the lower court injunction.

A lot of the MAGA kids are crying in their Fruity Pebbles today over their hero John Durham failing to convict one guy nobody had ever heard of before for lying about something that was of molecular level importance in the overall investigation that nobody understands anyway. The fanboys would call them “process crimes” when Robert Mueller would prosecute Trump minions for smaller level and/or unrelated stuff as leverage to get them to cooperate, something their tiny little gerbil brains couldn’t quite understand (And that might’ve worked had Trump not corruptly interfered and dangled pardons for his crew of scumbags, letting them wait out Mueller).

It’s not clear if Durham had the same goal in mind, that Michael Sussman would “flip” and take down Hillary Clinton and John Podesta and Obama and probably Hugo Chavez in exchange for leniency at sentencing, but the question is moot because Sussman walked. In a rather short order we may add. Apparently the jury didn’t like that a certain piece of crucial evidence was withheld from them by Team Durham until literally this morning. It was a receipt for a cab ride Sussman took to FBI HQ that he paid for himself rather than expense to the Clinton campaign which was apparently exculpatory because it proved that Sussman was telling the truth and blah blah blah which doomed what some had said was an already extremely weak case against Sussie.

Lady Cham • 3 hours ago
️No, it was a rigged jury…you’re as guilty as hell…
Tue, 5/31/22 1:49 PM on “‘I Told the Truth to the FBI’ – Michael Sussmann Statement Following Acquittal” – Gateway Pundit

Of course, don’t let those details get in the way if you’re hell bent on being victimized again. By all means, please go right ahead and don’t read any of the shit we skimmed and sort of half-read in between an effort to finally wrap up Assassin’s Creed Valhalla (have to go back to Mercia and finish the main story after the Dawn of Ragnarok DLC is over, so probably another 50 hours at least).

“Clearly, we’re disappointed,” for Republican California Congressman and current CEO of the failing Truth social media platform Devin Nunes tells the dozens of people watching Newsmax about the acquittal of Durham target Michael Sussmann by a jury; note that Nunes doesn’t describe who the “we” in that sentence is.  “This is not what any of use wanted to see as somebody who, y’know, it was our investigation that unearthed all of this, that then led to Horowitz that, y’know, who also found all of this, erm, very damaging information and here you have an acquittal by a jury wi–, wit–, with Durham’s first prosecution.”

Yes, it is true Devin “Midnight Run” Nunes, who ran to the White House to disclose information that was given in the confidentiality of a House hearing room, started the investigation that led to the disclosure of the inconsistency of Sussmann’s statement–which did not in any way adversely impact a federal investigation.  Like all of the investigations “led” by Nunes or his gutter conspirator Jim Jordan, nothing at all came out of the political kerfuffle they initiated.

There are more than 20 million sentient species in the Star Wars galaxy, don’t choose to be a racist.

— Star Wars (@starwars) May 31, 2022

Depressing, but not surprising they still have to do this. While we’re of the opinion that the new villain Reva – aka The Third Sister – is a pretty badass addition to the universe who pursues her ambitions with both cold calculation and red hot rage, we get some fans might disagree legitimately, irrespective of her race and gender. And that’s okay. She is kind of a rehash of Adam Driver’s Kylo Ren, though we’re not sure how wide the range of millennial-aged middle management dark Jedi characters is supposed to be. Aren’t they all pissed off all of the time? She’s sure as shit less emo than Kylo and a lot more efficient dealing with a total dick of a boss, give her that at least.

But you know… Black woman bad. Disney casting department woke and racist toward white people. Christians oppressed. Diversity hire controversial to incels who can’t dislike new character on her own merits. Orange man good. Ultra MAGA awesome. Dark MAGA is coming. So on and so forth.

The founder of Truth Social reacted Tuesday to the verdict in the trial of Dem lawyer Michael Sussman about as poorly as expected. Here’s an abridged and annotated version of his copium:

“Our legal system is corrupt, [BLM talking point] our Judges (and Justices!) are highly partisan, compromised or just plain scared, [says the guy who appointed Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Barrett… And let’s not talk about Thomas and Alito], our borders are open, [deflection noted] our elections are RIGGED, [proven lie], inflation is RAMPANT, [because of the pandemic, which he encouraged to spread], gas prices and food costs are ‘through the roof,’ [Why does he hate capitalism?], our Military ‘Leadership’ is WOKE [because they’re letting all Americans serve in the military and fighting racism, misogyny, homophobia and white nationalists in their ranks], our country is going to HELL, [he’s the one who programmed the GPS], and Michael Sussmann is not guilty.  [Yes, he is.  Unlike your minions, he doesn’t need a presidential pardon] How’s everything else doing?  [Seven million new jobs, punishing Putin, reuniting NATO, rising wages, and the workers dictating their situations are pretty damn good] Enjoy your day!!! [We will, knowing he’s infuriated and going off on random tangents because the justice system got this one right]”

“While we are disappointed in the outcome, we respect the jury’s decision and thank them for their service. I also want to recognize and thank the investigators and the prosecution team for their dedicated efforts in seeking truth and justice in this case,” says a “drop” from enigmatic America First lawman John Durham following his secret 5D chess victory over the Clinton Criminal Empire on Tuesday. Digital soldiers from around the world are already using the latest Gematria techniques to decode the hidden meaning of the message, which is no doubt filled with explosive clues.

Republican Pennsylvania gov candidate Doug Mastriano, a sick son of a bitch who checks pretty much every box in the MAGA conspiracy Q-universe, turns out also to be pals with the “Rod of Iron Ministries”, a cult of gun worshipping freaks based in the state and a sub-sect of the far-right South Korean Unification Church, aka the “Moonies”, the Bulwark reports. “Rod of Iron”, led by the Rev Sean Moon, son of the late Unification Church founder and megalomaniac Sun Myung Moon (hence “Moonies”), have hosted Mastriano at a number of their events, most of which feature a golden, jewel-encrusted AK-47 being touted in the aisle amid the congregation.

Moon himself is alleged to have made it further than Mastriano did on January 6th, leading as many as 50 of his cult members into the building, though he has not been charged by federal prosecutors, probably owing to a lack of definitive video evidence showing him inside. This is one of those stories that could go on for probably another 1,200 words about these fucking animals, there’s just too much going on here. Check out the Bulwark piece.

Watch out for MAGA heads exploding!  Hillary Clinton campaign lawyer Michael Sussmann, charged by Department of Justice special counsel John Durham of lying to the FBI when telling them of an alleged tie between the Trump Organization and Russian interests because he did not disclose that he was retained by the Clinton campaign during an informal lunch with a former co-worker who worked for the FBI, CNN reports.

The jury in the Washington, DC court took just six hours to come to a not guilty verdict.  The case had been a talking point for right wing extremists from Congress through Alex Jones, claiming that it would be the straw that broke the Clintons’ backs and would lead to an avalanche of prosecutions, convictions and jail time for the “Clinton crime family,” in an obvious bit of projection on their side.

Ohio Senate hopeful JD Vance wants to save possible future colleague Ted Cruz’s family from pornography, according to a 2021 interview newly unearthed by the Huffington Post. “I think the combination of porn, abortion have basically created a lonely, isolated generation that isn’t getting married, they’re not having families, and they’re actually not even totally sure how to interact with each other,” said Vance to “Crisis Magazine” in 2021. Although he wasn’t naming names, the implication that Vance wants to save Ted Cruz specifically was obvious.

After all, if Vance wants to set American men on a righteous moral path if elected, then where else would be a better place to start than with his future coworkers? Vance should take it further and pledge to voters that he’ll become Cruz’s recovery coach, constantly monitoring his internet use and ensuring the Texas Senator is safe from the wicked temptations of “Reality Kings”.

The US Supreme Court on Tuesday refused to shield three Republican Texas state lawmakers from depositions in the Biden Administration’s lawsuit over the state’s racially discriminatory voting district maps, independent court blogger Amy Walter reports, adding no dissents were noted.

Just as Trump-endorsed douchebag Jody Hice has Democrats to thank for his loss in the Georgia GOP Secretary of State primary last week, North Carolina MAGA bro Madison Cawthorn’s 1,500 vote loss in his primary almost certainly came the same way, as an Associated Press analysis finds that at least 5,400 of those who cast votes in the race had voted in the 2020 Dem primary.

The AP piece quotes a Georgia Republican operative raging over the Raffensperger win. “It was a Democratic version of ‘Operation Chaos.’ I did not realize just how heavily the Democrats were going to cross over,” said Debbie Dooley, president of the Atlanta Tea Party, referring to a Nixon-era plan to interfere in Dem primaries. The AP adds that Dooley launched a petition last week to close Georgia Republican primaries to non-Republicans, without specifying if she thinks Republicans should still be free to vote in Dem primaries if they so choose.

Violent psychopath Hershel Walker was upset at fat former President Trump during a Monday interview, calling the bloated orange degenerate a liar for taking undue credit for encouraging Walker to run for the US Senate. “He never asked. So, I’m mad at him because he never asked. But he’s taking credit that he asked,” said Walker, obviously not afraid at all of the Holy MAGA King, who could totally kick Herschel’s ass for disrespecting him like this. Walker better watch it.

Bidenflation hit 8.1% in the Eurozone during May, the AFP reports, showing that European President Joe Biden’s policies are wrong for hard-working Europeans struggling to put food on the table. We could sure use some mean tweets from former European President Donald Trump right about now. The price of a litre of petrol was lower when he was in charge of Europe. Biden is a Europe-last president. Allons-y Brandeun!!! Trump 2024! MAKE EUROPE GREAT AGAIN! ULTRA MEGA!

European Union leaders on Monday reached an agreement banning 90% of Russian oil imports, a move seen as unthinkable just months ago before the Putin regime invaded Ukraine, the AP reports. Russia was predictably butthurt, with Vienna-based diplomat Mikhail Ulyanov claiming “Russia will find other importers.” The European ban follows the lead of US President Joe Biden, who in March ordered a halt to American imports of Russian fuel. The Russian energy sector is just one part of a multi-pronged economic plan to crush Russia and sap its attack on Ukraine.