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The president who once advocated for injecting disinfectants into people’s lungs to cure COVID and then hired Robert F Kennedy Jr to run the nation’s public health policy has some interesting ideas when it comes to the cancer prevention qualities of Diet Coke, the New York Post reports.

“Then comes the diet soda pops, which your dad argues that diet soda is good for him because it kills grass when it’s poured on grass, so therefore, it must kill cancer cells inside the body,” an allegedly licensed physician, Dr Mehmet Oz, told Donald Trump Jr of Don Sr’s beliefs.

Now if something kills grass then it shouldn’t actually ki- You know what? Forget it.

First those Iranian thugs increased your gas prices, now they’re coming for your housing too! In a story headlined “The war in Iran hits home as housing rebound stalls,” Politico reports that the Ayatollah and his evil minions raised mortgage rates by half a percent and made the dream of home ownership more expensive for regular Americans! Will Tehran stop at nothing to act on its hatred of you and the president’s pro-family, pro-Christian, pro-freedom, pro-Law and Order agenda?

When you really think about it though, if you don’t find a house that sold for $400,000 in 2003 and sign a 30 year fixed 6.4 percent rate mortgage to buy it for $950,000 even though the school district is shittier than it was two decades ago, then you’re letting the Iranians win, really. Everyone’s gotta pitch in and if that means moving in and then on the first day getting repeatedly asked by your neighbor’s 26 year-old convicted sex offender live-in son if he can inspect your gutters as part of a free consultation for the new business he’s starting then goddamn it you better let him borrow your ladder so he can climb on the roof in sweatpants and Crocs. American national security is at stake here, you can’t be whining about only finding out he was a sex offender after you noticed that he started going outside wearing a Hot Wheels-branded hoodie after he definitely saw your son’s parking garage set in the moving boxes. Iran getting a nuclear weapon is so much more of a threat to him than some 6’3 225 lbs unemployed pederast whose parents insist is just misunderstood.

Whose side are you on? America and Israel’s or Iran’s? Sign the fucking note, you Marxist.

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage after this very important call for all patriotic Americans to make the necessary sacrifices to protect our housing supply from Iranian attacks.

The Acting Attorney General of the United States on Tuesday told Fox News that he totally understands why the First Lady is so upset over the rumors linking her to the most notorious sex criminal in American history, likely because he’s seen the unreleased material she’s trying to get out in front of and there’s only so much document shredding he can do from inside the DOJ.

“As filmmakers, documentarians, and professionals across the movie and television industry, we write to express our unequivocal opposition to the proposed Paramount-Warner Bros Discovery merger. This transaction would further consolidate an already concentrated media landscape, reducing competition at a moment when our industries – and the audiences we serve – can least afford it. The result will be fewer opportunities for creators, fewer jobs across the production ecosystem, higher costs, and less choice for audiences in the United States and around the world.”

“Alarmingly, this merger would reduce the number of major US film studios to just four. Our industry is already under severe strain, in large part due to prior waves of consolidation. We have witnessed a steep decline in the number of films produced and released, alongside a narrowing of the kinds of stories that are financed and distributed. Increasingly, a small number of powerful entities determine what gets made – and on what terms – leaving creators and independent businesses with fewer viable paths to sustain their work,” says an open letter signed by a shit ton of A-listers opposing MAGA oligarch Larry Ellison and his scumbag son’s Saudi-financed takeover of Warner Bros.

Kinda hilariously, and pragmatically, the letter ends with “Fortunately, someone is doing something about all this. California Attorney General Rob Bonta and his colleagues in other states are reportedly scrutinizing the merger and considering legal action to block it. We are grateful for their leadership, and stand ready to support all efforts to preserve competition, protect jobs, and ensure a vibrant future for our industry, for American culture, and for our single most significant export.”

It’s like even they know just stating opposition in principle doesn’t really do shit when you’re up against the evil empire, so a reminder that there’s more going on does ground the whole thing.

Seeing as how they never got around to codifying their rebrand of the “Big Beautiful” piece of shit whose name is so politically toxic they retroactively started referring to it as the “Working Families Tax Cut,” the House GOP this week will put to the floor a non-binding resolution reading “Whereas, on July 4, 2025, the President signed Public Law 119–21, commonly known as the ‘Working Families Tax Cuts’; Whereas the Working Families Tax Cuts prevented a $2,600,000,000,000 tax hike on taxpayers making less than $400,000 per year; Whereas, for the 2025 tax year, the Working Families Tax Cuts helped deliver an estimated $222,000,000,000 in tax refunds, putting money directly back into Americans’ wallets; Whereas, for the 2026 tax year, the Working Families Tax Cuts are anticipated to deliver an average tax cut of $3,750, helping make America affordable again,” and blah blah blah. Whether it passes is probably going to come down to attendance, lol.

We were told two years ago that “your pocketbook” matters more than democracy, the rule of law, defending Ukraine against Russia – which is and will always be a greater threat to national security than Iran ever was – and just basic moral integrity. But now higher gas prices are the sacrifice necessary to defeat an enemy that will, in all likelihood, not actually be defeated whenever and however American military assets disengage with Tehran. And gas probably won’t be cheaper then.

“After withstanding higher trade barriers and elevated uncertainty last year, global activity now faces a major test from the outbreak of war in the Middle East. Assuming that the conflict remains limited in duration and scope, global growth is projected to slow to 3.1 percent in 2026 and 3.2 percent in 2027. Global headline inflation is projected to rise modestly in 2026 before resuming its decline in 2027. Slowdown in growth and increase in inflation are expected to be particularly pronounced in emerging market and developing economies. Downside risks dominate the outlook.”

“A longer or broader conflict, worsening geopolitical fragmentation, a reassessment of expectations surrounding artificial‑intelligence‑driven productivity, or renewed trade tensions could significantly weaken growth and destabilize financial markets. Elevated public debt and eroding institutional credibility further heighten vulnerabilities. At the same time, activity could be lifted if productivity gains from AI materialize more rapidly or trade tensions ease on a sustained basis,” says the International Monetary Funds’s 2026 “World Economic Outlook” report.

“Kamala Harris really should’ve gone on Joe Rogan’s podcast,” the report did not say, but implied.

Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni on Tuesday said she’s picked a side in a growing war between two American leaders, and has gone with the one currently wielding power from a tiny enclave in her capital, USA Today reports. “I find President Trump’s words towards the Holy Father unacceptable. The Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, and it is right and normal for him to call for peace and to condemn every form of war,” Meloni said in a statement. And Trump thought she was cool.

The only place to start with on Gregg Phillips, currently the chief of FEMA’s Office of Response and Recovery, which is actually a pretty important job, is why he got hired in the first place: He co-founded “True the Vote,” a conspiracy theory outfit dedicated to proving the 2020 election was stolen from convicted felon President Trump, and along the way got jailed for contempt during a defamation lawsuit in 2022, lent his “expertise” to Dinesh D’Souza’s debunked “documentary” 2000 Mules, and then later admitted in court the fictitious conspiracy thriller was complete bullshit.

So having failed to actually prove the 2020 election was stolen, literally admitted it under oath that it was a lie, should by all measures kind of not be a plus with his principal, right? Lol, no. Not even close. In fact, to Trump, it made Phillips qualified for leading the office responsible for coordinating the federal government’s response to natural disasters and providing the necessary resources to rebuild in the aftermath. Meaning Phillips will be calling the shots if Mount Rainer erupts and sends deadly lahars careening down toward Tacoma, the fault under the Mississippi Valley between Missouri, Arkansas, and Tennessee ruptures again and causes an 8.0+ magnitude earthquake like it did – three times – in 1811 into 1812, or a Category 5 hurricane plows into east Texas, all of these hazards capable of leaving tens of thousands dead and costing $1 trillion+ in economic damage.

The guy who couldn’t prove the 2020 election was stolen is the guy who’s going to be on the ground leading the response to these disasters if they happen before Trump or, possibly less likely, the next president fires him. The “possibly less likely” there is CNN KFile’s work as they report that they brought to the Orange Fuhrer’s attention the not-very-shocking reality that Phillips’ belief in fantastical shit isn’t limited to simply a fucking stupid narrative that cell phone GPS data – that he spent $2 million to acquire from a marketing broker – somehow revealed that still-unidentified “mules” were trafficking absentee ballots to dropboxes in the run-up to the 2020 election in Georgia.

I love the President and I'm so grateful he's in the Oval Office. Of course, I'll continue to support him and the America First agenda.

At the end of the day, I do nothing for the approval of man. Our purpose on this earth is to glorify Him in all we do. The truth social post…

— Riley Gaines (@Riley_Gaines_) April 14, 2026

Continued: “The truth social post missed the mark. It’s now deleted. Amazing! We’re imperfect people. I know I am. I don’t get my feelings hurt easy and I know with the President it’s really not personal. I want to spend eternity in a real place called Heaven. I’d love for Trump to be there too. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. I’ll keep doing my part by speaking truth and doing my best to lead others to Christ. (and no, I won’t be selling merch with his insults on them hahaha)”

This was a few hours after CBS printed a brief interview with the fat bastard in which he was asked to respond to Gaines’s criticism of his “doctor” meme. “I didn’t listen to Riley Gaines. I’m not a big fan of Riley, actually,” the fat bastard said, not at all ruling out that he simply forgot who she is and that the answer would’ve been more diplomatic if he remembered she’s an attractive young blonde.

In a sterling sign of just how confident Naval commanders are in how readily a multi-billion dollar aircraft carrier can defend itself against some dogshit banditos like the Houthis, the USS George HW Bush is, rather than making use of the Suez Canal that’s been there since friggin 1867, transiting toward the Middle East around South Africa to join the blockade of Iran, USNI news reports.

The detour adds between 10 and 14 days to the trip and, given that the site reported on Monday that the GHWB was off the coast of Namibia, convicted felon President Trump could have TACOed out of the blockade before the ship even passes Madagascar. Indeed, the Wall Street Journal reports that Saudi Prince Bonesaw is urging the Trump Regime to back off the blockade plan because the Houthis, being Shiite proxies of Iran, could threaten KSA oil exports going through the southern Red Sea’s Bab al-Mandeb strait. Which, funny story, is EXACTLY the bottleneck that the GHWB is avoiding by sailing around Africa. Maybe the Team Trump should walk the walk on that.

Crypto billionaire Justin Sun, who dumped at least $75 million into the Don Jr and Eric Trump’s World Liberty Financial slush fund operation, publicly lost his shit on the two failsons Sunday, tweeting that he’s “always been an ardent supporter of President Trump and his crypto friendly policy,” but “this is the opposite of decentralization. This is a trap door marketed as an open door. I denounce the ongoing token scandals by the bad actors at WLFI,” NBC News reports on the predictable.

Sun’s account with the corruption mill has been frozen since September. World Liberty responded to the blowup by accusing Sun of engaging in misconduct himself citing a 2023 SEC fraud case settled last month when Sun agreed to pay a $10 million fine. Putin treats his guys the same way.

“There is a season for everything and God has a plan for us all. When Congress returns tomorrow, I will file my retirement from office. It has been my privilege to serve the great people of Texas,” tweeted the other rapey Congressman on Monday evening, with “retirement” apparently meaning resignation because Tony Gonzales technically already “retired” when he dropped out of the runoff.

“I am deeply sorry to my family, staff, and constituents for mistakes in judgment I’ve made in my past. I will fight the serious, false allegation made against me. However, I must take responsibility and ownership for the mistakes I did make. I am aware of efforts to bring an immediate expulsion vote against me and other members. Expelling anyone in Congress without due process, within days of an allegation being made, is wrong. But it’s also wrong for my constituents to have me distracted from my duties. Therefore, I plan to resign my seat in Congress. I will work with my staff in the coming days to ensure they are able, in my absence, to serve the needs of the good people of the 14th congressional district,” said California Dem soon-to-be-former-Congressman Eric Swalwell in a statement on Monday. Well guess that four-in-one expulsion deal isn’t happening.

This is (apparently) not a joke. Verbatim from Puck’s Dylan Byers: “Drama at this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner. The Wall Street Journal is being awarded the The Katharine Graham Award for Courage and Accountability for its reporting on the ‘bawdy’ letter that Trump set Epstein. Trump, who sued the Journal over this story, is expected to present the reporters with the award.”

Again, not a joke. Still funny. Apparently this is the tradition. The fat fuck is going to blow his stack when he finds out about this. At minimum cancel his attendance. Probably sue the WHCA too.

Mark Morgan, who served as Acting ICE Commissioner, acting CBP commissioner, and chief of the Border Patrol in convicted felon President Trump’s first failed administration, was pretty unsparing in his criticism of the Orange God Emperor on Monday, telling Axios that his new “mass deportation coalition” is ready to turn up the heat on the fat bastard “with what we call kind of a right flank, saying, ‘No, Mr President, you’re listening to the wrong people,'” and not going full throttle again.

“If Trump had said what industry wanted, ‘I’m going to keep the illegals here so you can have cheap labor,’ he would not be in the White House,” another Trump 1.0 Homeland Security official, Mike Howell, said, adding “He’d be in a prison cell right now.” Ugh, thanks for reminding us, you dick.

“The President has only gotten pressure in his face to tone down the enforcement. The truth is the first year was not a year of mass deportation. A conscious decision was made to go after the worst first, which was, we’ll call it a deviation from the central campaign promise of mass deportations,” Howell continued, plainly despondent over the caving to political pressure from the wider public.

'DoorDash Grandma' Sharon Simmons from Arkansas made a special delivery to the White House—and shared how President Trump’s “no tax on tips” policy is impacting her bottom line.

“Half my income is tips,” she told America Reports—adding the measure has helped her save thousands.… pic.twitter.com/fqFCk4C114

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 13, 2026

A stunning new revelation surfaced Monday in the saga of the Arkansas grandma who works for DoorDash proudly showcased by the White House and its media apparatus as no longer having to pay tax on the tips that some people can optionally pay her for delivering McDonald’s, Popeye’s, and KFC to other people: Retired grandmas, as in the ones who have stopped working because they have enough in savings, pension, and other resources to maintain their lifestyle, do not have to pay taxes on tips either. In fact in a lot of other countries where the social benefits for elderly citizens are more equitable they usually simply stop working at a certain age irrespective of whether they have savings, pensions, etc. They don’t have to deliver fast food on DoorDash if they don’t want to.

“The European Commission is carrying out unannounced antitrust inspections in two Member States at the premises of a company active in the chocolate confectionery sector. The Commission has concerns that the inspected company may have violated EU antitrust rules that prohibit cartels and restrictive business practices, as well as abuses of a dominant market position. In particular, the Commission is investigating possible market segmentation in the form of restrictions on the trade of goods between Member States in the Single Market and obstacles to multi-country purchases,” says a vague statement from the European Commission on a double raid to find the secret to what makes Wonka bars so delicious and why the magical recipe hasn’t been shared with the entire world.

Or it could’ve been some more prosaic sort of monopolistic abuse. When they don’t even name the company let alone the location of the raids it kind of leaves it open to such interpretation.

You will not be surprised to learn that the “DoorDasher” who brought a bag full of McDonald’s to convicted felon President Trump in the Oval Office on Monday is not a DC local who legitimately picked up the order and was invited in, but a woman from friggin Arkansas who delivers for the app.

“A DoorDash delivery made its way to one of the most recognizable addresses in the world today: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Sharon Simmons, a Dasher from Arkansas, marked her order complete at the doors of the Oval Office on the South Lawn of the White House – an unconventional drop-off to commemorate the first anniversary of the No Tax on Tips policy,” says a blog post on the site.

God forbid that someone in another government office nearby actually place the order, rope the likely non-white driver into a brief Secret Service vetting and get their consent to have them meet the president to complete the delivery, and have this be an impromptu event with an actually more-or-less randomly-selected “DoorDasher” that the company could still promote. Barring that, and if it still had to be staged, you have to wonder if they ever even tried to cast someone from DC or if they were just like “fuck it. Arkansas it is.” Can’t really blame them when they knew it’d be hard, if not impossible, to find a local who would be willing to be seen standing next to the orange slob.

Whatever happened behind the scenes, it’s pretty on-brand for DoorDash to be the service to team up with Trump as he tries to promote one tiny crumb he gave to the poors in the Big Beautiful Piece of Shit, as they don’t like New York Attorney General Letitia James either. She got them to pay a $16 million settlement last year over – wait for it – tips they withheld from DoorDash drivers.