Category: Uncategorized

Virginia Dem Congressman Gerry Connolly has passed away, CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reports, making him now the third D to die in office this term and increase breathing room for Speaker Mike Johnson ahead of a crucial showdown over the “Big Beautiful Bill” as Jesus Dork needs every vote.

“It is with immense sadness that we share that our devoted and loving father, husband, brother, friend, and public servant, Rep Connolly, passed away peacefully at his home this morning surrounded by family,” said Connolly’s family in a statement. The ranking Dem on House Oversight was 75 and had recently announced plans to step down from the post amid declining health.

Trump to meet leader of ‘out of control’ South Africa at White House https://t.co/DWdXEa4dyO

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 21, 2025

“In the first quarter, our team navigated a highly challenging environment and focused on delivering the outstanding assortment, experience and value guests expect from Target. While our sales fell short of our expectations, we saw several bright spots in the quarter, including healthy digital growth, led by a 36 percent increase in same-day delivery through Target Circle 360, and our strongest designer collaboration in more than a decade, kate spade for Target. While these highlights reinforce our confidence in the underlying health of our business, we’re not satisfied with current performance and know we have opportunities to deliver faster progress on our roadmap for growth,” says Target CEO Brian Cornell in the retailer’s Q1 2024 earnings statement, not mentioning the boycott movement over its rollback of DEI policies in submission to the Trump regime.

That’s upfront in the Wall Street Journal’s reporting on the earnings statement, crediting the pro-DEI movement’s impact for a 3.8 percent sales decline from Q1 2024. Cornell did acknowledge this on a call with reporters that must’ve been held at some ungodly hour this morning, saying that, while he couldn’t estimate how much the boycott was responsible for the loss, it “played a role in our first-quarter performance.” The CEO vaguely committed to a correction by making Target a place where their “guests and our teams and our partners feel included,” whatever that’s going to mean.

Cornell also blamed lower spending on discretionary items amid a broad decline in consumer confidence but did not assign blame to you-know-who for creating that environment rather than fulfilling his bullshit campaign promises to lower costs for all Americans. Obviously having enough self-inflicted problems to deal with, Cornell barely mentioned tariffs, saying only “we have many levers we can use to mitigate this impact, and price is the very last resort” to mitigate their impact.

Drug addicted billionaire Elon Musk will be present in the Oval Office during Wednesday’s meeting between convicted felon President Trump and South African President Cyril Ramaphosa to help falsely accuse the leader of perpetrating a white genocide in the country, NewsNation’s Libbey Dean reports on what’s sure to be even more of an embarrassment than the Zelensky meeting.

Responding to convicted felon President Trump’s Justice Department opening up a probe into him over last year’s testimony to the House, disgraced former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s spokesman Rich Azzopardi tells the Daily Beast “We have never been informed of any such matter, so why would someone leak it now? The answer is obvious: This is lawfare and election interference plain and simple – something President Trump and his top Department of Justice officials say they are against.” Silly Rich, hypocrisy isn’t a vice, it’s a virtue to these fascist animals.

I very much appreciate President Trump and my Senate colleagues’ leadership on Golden Dome for America. President Trump’s significant down payment on building Golden Dome will make America immensely safer and should be one of our top national security priorities.
 
I look forward… https://t.co/TDPNg0YLFN

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) May 21, 2025

Hahaha… Get it? Lindsey wants to “give Trump some nice dome” which is slang for [CENSORED]? It works because it’s both a “golden dome” and that Lindsey Graham is… Well, you know.

Japan’s Agriculture Minister on Wednesday submitted his resignation to Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba, just four days after he bragged in a speech that he never had to buy any rice because, as a former eight-term elected MP with supposed hardcore following, his fans send him so much of the country’s staple food, which was pretty tone deaf amid increasing costs, the Japan Times reports.

“I have never bought rice. My supporters give me so much rice that, in the food pantry of my house, I have enough to sell it,” said the now former Ag Minister Taku Eto, who got off easy by just getting fired. You know back in the old days he would’ve had to get on his knees and slice open his bowels with a tanto blade and then Ishiba would “second” Eto by swiftly decapitating him with a katana, his head sent rolling on the pavement of the castle’s ornate courtyard. It would’ve been the only way to spiritually atone for the shame and dishonor he brought upon his master’s house and his ancestors.

But then again if this were the old days there was no democracy and Ishiba probably wouldn’t have cared if Eto had so mocked commoners. It would take something like Eto getting drunk on sake and insulting a neighboring lord during Ishiba’s daughter’s wedding feast, maybe by saying that lord had prayed insufficiently to the harvest spirits resulting in a lower rice yield. He’d be so screwed then.

In conclusion feudal Japan was pretty fucking badass because shit like that happened all the time.

“Waste brine,” an oil extraction byproduct long considered far too toxic for drinking water supplies that is typically dumped underground or repurposed for fracking, is getting a second look in Texas where H2O supplies are strained by rapid population growth, leaky infrastructure, and uneven rainfall. The Lone Star State’s oilmen, always happy to find a way to make a quick buck and finding themselves with more of the brine than they can offload – the ratio of waste brine to crude oil extracted seriously averages about five-to-one barrels – are looking to fill in the market’s demands.

Buuuuuuuut, as the Texas Tribune reports, even though the oilmen swear the water’s safe to drink after it’s been properly treated, the just want to make sure all their bases are covered. You know, just in case of anything pesky like cancer or birth defects show up in regions of the state whose water utilities are being supplemented with the brine. Better safe than sorry is their thinking on that angle and as such their employees in the state legislator are working on passing a bill to immunize them.

And the companies contracted to treat the water too. Can’t have them getting bankrupted by some kid who needs a double kidney transplant. They’ll be performing an important service for Texans.

One issue the bill doesn’t address is that the name “waste brine” has too many negative if vague connotations. The bill should call it “Liberty Water” or something and market it with “Texas’s own source of freedom from thirst.” That’ll increase social pressure to avoid telling friends and neighbors something like “Ugh, my pancreas failed because of too much Liberty Water” like some gay libtard.

New book details cover-up of Biden's declining health
Watch the full video here: https://t.co/9LngzjHtLk pic.twitter.com/WUhqPuKZ1n

— The Lead CNN (@TheLeadCNN) May 20, 2025

Corrupt shitbag Congressman Andy “Diet George Santos” Ogles on Tuesday told Fox News’s Chad Pergram he’s pumping the brakes on the “Big Beautiful Bill,” saying his “preference would be let’s get it right. Let’s not try to rush it and hit some arbitrary deadline of Memorial Day. I’ll stay here and work all weekend. I’ll stay here and work next week. Let’s get this done for the American people. Well when California and New York are screwing the American people in Tennessee and Florida have to pay for it, I’m a no go,” which sure sounds like he’s opposed to any SALT deduction increase.

Extra cunt points on the part about “the American people in Tennessee and Florida,” implying that Californians and New Yorkers are not Americans. Not like it matters but what the hell let’s run the numbers anyway: New York and California in FY 2022 – the most recent year available – contributed a combined net $113.3 billion to federal tax revenue after expenditures. Tennessee and Florida were in the red by an estimated $57 billion combined in the same year. Who’s paying for who now?

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime violated a court order Tuesday, sending a man from Myanmar and another from Vietnam to goddamned South Sudan after a federal judge specifically ordered them not to send them to any third country, Politico reports on the usual shit in 2025.

“Joe Biden was not for Open Borders, he never talked about Open Borders, where criminals of all kinds, shapes, and sizes, can flow into our Country at will. It wasn’t his idea to Open the Border, and almost destroy our Country, and cost us Hundreds of Billions of Dollars to get criminals out of our Country, and go through the process we are going through now. It was the people that knew he was cognitively impaired, and that took over the Autopen. They stole the Presidency of the United States, and put us in Great Danger. This is TREASON at the Highest Level! They did it to destroy our Country. The Joe Biden that everybody knew would never allow drug dealers, gang members, and the mentally insane to come into our Country totally unchecked and unvetted. All anyone has to do is look up his record. Something very severe should happen to these Treasonous Thugs that wanted to destroy our Country, but couldn’t, because I came along. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, reversing years of claims of Biden being a dictatorial mastermind nearly an hour after the stupid “Golden Dome” announcement was supposed to start.

“We must maintain our status as the Worldwide Leader in WiFi, 5G, and 6G, connecting every American to the World’s BEST Networks, while also keeping everyone safe. We can do both at the same time. Bottom line, I am going to free up plenty of SPECTRUM for auction, so Congress must put 600 MHz in ‘THE ONE, BIG, BEAUTIFUL BILL.’ Let’s make sure all options are on the table. Never bet against American Ingenuity. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” the fat bastard continued in a subsequent post, obviously concerned with the brass tacks of getting his bill passed over intraparty opposition. That “6G” promise will definitely win over both the Freedom Caucasians and SALT crew.

Nobody should ever look at Walmart is a good citizen. It’s a pretty scummy, rapacious company with a track record far too long to even entertain listing here in this space. Little if anything they do is altruistic. Yet in taking high road relative to Amazon and Apple‘s apparent submission to convicted felon President Trump’s rage at corporate giants for publicizing the inflationary effects of his stupid trade war they still manage to look better in comparison. CNBC reports that sources within the company tell them the decision to defy the Orange God Emperor’s commands “was motivated by a sense of obligation to explain to customers and investors why prices would increase.”

That “obligation” can ultimately be traced back to profit motive, as retail analyst Steve Shemesh says Walmart “may have decided to be transparent with its shoppers about the financial realities of tariffs for its business, especially since its customer base tends to be price sensitive,” which is a nicer way of saying “poor” or “not actually poor but fucking cheapskates who dress like they’re poor.” Still, according to other analyst egghead Mike Baker, in taking a stand “they’re trying to signal the idea that prices will go up and brace the consumer and the US population for that idea, and also, in a way, send a message to policymakers that it’s impractical to think that the entirety of the tariffs will be absorbed by the retailer or the manufacturer… It’s never good to be on the opposite side of an issue with the US government and particularly with the bully pulpit that Trump tends to use.”

In a bit of fortuitous timing as it comes less than 24 hours after National Zero raised the very important matter of “How’s that hunt for the anti-Tesla terrorist masterminds going?” drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk on Tuesday told some Qatar Economic circlejerk that the “terrorists” who attacked his dealerships “will go to prison. And the people that funded them and organized them will also go to prison. Don’t worry, we’re coming for you,” lame MAGA propaganda site Red State reports.

So there’s the answer to that burning (hehe) question: There’s no new info. He’s just talking shit. It also seems that the campaign kind of worked since Musk also announced he’s stepping back from politics. Red State outright ignores this in their article, writing “It’s clear that the last few months have taken a toll on Elon Musk, but he’s not going back down from this fight. No longer content to let violent extremists hide behind the guise of ‘protest,’ Musk is rightly putting the full weight of his influence – and likely his legal firepower – behind efforts to hold the guilty accountable. And if his track record is any indication, the agitators should take him seriously. Very seriously,” lol.

Convicted felon President Trump will on Tuesday announce his long-hinted “Golden Dome” plan, a bigger version of Israel’s Iron Dome, except named after a more valuable metal, Reuters reports.

The missile defense shield project seems destined to achieve the same level of success and accomplishment as Trump’s previous ambitious major national projects like the giant 1,955 wall along the southern border that Mexico paid for, the Obamacare replacement that took two weeks to finish and get passed through Congress, inventing 6G wireless, and the elimination of the national debt.

“We share President Trump’s call for unity within the House Republican Conference. A fair SALT deduction is a matter of fundamental fairness for the hardworking families we represent, including the many who proudly support President Trump and voted for him, in part, because he promised to restore SALT. We hope his remarks today motivate the Speaker to advance a SALT proposal that delivers meaningful relief for our middle-class constituents, as we have worked in good faith with House Leadership for more than a year. Our states are donor states, consistently subsidizing so-called fiscally responsible red states,” says a joint statement from Republican Representatives Young Kim of California, Tom Kean of New Jersey, and New Yorkers Andrew Garbarino, Nick LaLota, and Mike Lawler. Other Empire Stater, malevolent razorback Elise Stefanik, did not put her campaign logo on the statement, a curious omission from Team SALT. Must be Trump yanking her leash while dangling the fresh meat of an endorsement in next year’s gubernatorial race in front of her.

Love the “he promised to restore SALT.” That’s just going to piss the fat bastard off even more.

Still even with all this mess nobody should declare the bill – or at least some major package down the line – to be doomed. You may however want to recognize the math problem: Assume all Dems show up to vote no. Kentucky hick Thomas Massey is also a hard no. That’s 214 seats out of 431 presently filled, leaving a margin of TWO VOTES. Five are saying they’re not budging. This is even before we get to the Freedom Caucasians, several of whom are not at all happy with the present situation which may or may not end up being exacerbated by further concessions to Team SALT.

And then there’s the Senate, which is a whole other giant clusterfuck of shaky support…

Hardcore conservative Christian college Liberty University agreed to pay $15 million to its former president, Jerry Falwell Jr, in a settlement last year for “wrongfully” firing him in 2020 after finding out that he liked to jerk off while watching his wife fuck the pool boy, USA Today reports.

The settlement’s monetary term went undisclosed until Tuesday, when the paper’s reporters dug into Liberty’s recently filed 2023-2024 IRS disclosures and found the payout. In total, Falwell will receive roughly $5.5 million to settle the lawsuits in addition to roughly $9.7 million he already won as part of his retirement package that was in dispute, according to the tax documents.

It’s not clear if the Falwells will use the proceeds to travel around the world in search of adventure and exotic young pool boys for wife Becki to fuck. Not to kink-shame or anything.

On this week’s edition of “Shit Trump voters tell the Economist/YouGov national survey” the question of “How much do you think Donald Trump’s business interests and positions are affecting his decision-making while he is serving as president?” finds a combined 78 percent of Trump 2024 voters (24 percent “A lot,” 29 percent “Some,” and 25 percent said “Not much”) admitting that yeah, he’s directing US executive branch policy in ways that affect his personal bottom line.

Just 21 percent of Trump 2024 voters said “None.” Which is the correct answer to how much he should be doing that and a sign that so few remain of the fanboys still either that fucking stupid or lying to themselves and/or YouGov about the extent of fat Donald’s venality. While it’s no surprise that Trump fans would move the goalposts as soon as a reality they once refused to recognize becomes undeniable, this may be the starkest quantification of such admission ever seen.

And one that they (largely) figured out how to rationalize, as the next question “Do you agree or disagree that what is good for Donald Trump’s business is good for the country?” found 61 percent of MAGA respondents agreeing (23 percent “Strongly,” 38 percent “Somewhat”) to just 21 percent disagreeing (12 percent “Strongly,” 9 percent “Somewhat”), while 18 percent said “Don’t know,” which means “No” but don’t want to say it. Only 2 percent of Harris voters said they didn’t know.

Finally, when confronted by a more direct way of asking the question with “Do you think President Trump is using his office for personal gain?” only 14 percent of his fans said yes, 9 percent didn’t know, and the rest – 77 percent said – no. Damn good survey design to get them to squirm and shift uncomfortably like that. These were all asked within the first six questions out of about 100 too.

President @realDonaldTrump dances to YMCA for the wonderful kids at Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day 🤣🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/sc9tlsiMhT

— Margo Martin (@MargoMartin47) May 20, 2025

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis must be spinning in his political career’s grave after seeing this heinous, bloated, attention whore dressing up like a dumpy, clownish man and teaching young children a dance coded to urge young men to visit flophouses to engage in casual gay sex. It’s like he’s openly spitting on DeSantis’s largest and most impactful legislative accomplishment.

Following convicted felon President Trump’s inspiring pep talk on Tuesday, members of the “SALT Caucus” have “reached out to the Speaker to tell them they are a no on the bill,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports and yeah that might just be kind of a problem in the way of passing it this week.