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Fur trade group calls Iowa mink farm jailbreak “terrorism”

“Fur Commission USA confirms that one or more attackers illegally entered a mink farm near Woodbine, Iowa, between 9 pm and 8 am last night. The intruder cut through fencing, destroyed animal housing, and released more than 1,000 mink. About half of the animals were recovered within hours by the farmer, his son, and his grandson, who operate the multi-generation family farm. Local law enforcement and the FBI are investigating the attack,” says Fur Commission USA in a statement.

“‘This was not activism – it was terrorism,’ said Challis Hobbs, Executive Director of Fur Commission USA. ‘Breaking into a lawful business, destroying property, and releasing animals to suffer and die is a violent crime. These extremist attacks put families, animals, and rural communities in danger.'”

“Under the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act, any person who interferes with or damages an animal enterprise is considered a terrorist under federal law. Such actions are criminal and carry severe penalties. The release of mink causes immense suffering. Farm-raised mink lack survival skills and quickly die from starvation, exposure, predators, or being struck by vehicles. These actions also devastate farm families who depend on their work for their livelihoods. Fur Commission USA thanks law enforcement for their quick response and will continue to support farmers under threat from these ongoing acts of rural terrorism,” the trade group’s outraged Facebook post continued.

Laying it on a little thick, right? Like sure, a large percentage of the mink who escaped will indeed die in the wild but that’s short of the 100 percent of the high-quality ones who will end up in some pinky-ring wearing Russian scumbag’s wife’s walk-in closet and then the slightly lower-quality ones that will end up in his mistress’s walk-in closet. Mustelids are smart and adaptable, they can figure out how to eat bugs and evade raptors. Maybe the commission should look into press releases about cattle rustling, learn how to focus on the product value instead of this lame virtue signaling.

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Regime outraged to learn loyal plutocrats not actually all that loyal

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime are shocked and furious to learn that a bunch of the ghoulish Silicon Valley plutocrats they consider to be close allies are involved in politics to further their own interests, NBC News reports in an article that opens with “The White House is threatening some of Silicon Valley’s richest and most powerful players over their efforts to spearhead a $100 million midterm strategy to back candidates of both parties who support a national framework for artificial intelligence regulations” and naming MAGA tech bros like Andreesseen-Horowitz cofounder Marc Andreesseen, OpenAI cofounder Greg Brockman, and Palantir cofounder Joe Lonsdale as potential traitors to the America First cause through their unsanctioned political operation.

“Especially frustrating to White House officials is that it plans to back AI-friendly candidates from both political parties – which could potentially help Democrats win back control of Congress – and one of the leaders of the new super PAC is a former top staffer to Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer,” the article continues, its text copied here verbatim because it doesn’t actually matter what the policy framework they want to build or the lobbying objective of the effort is.

Like they’re “frustrated” that ruthless nihilistic capitalists who went MAGA to gain political clout are going “bipartisan” to maintain their political clout? Christ, what a bunch of mental children.

Any group run by Schumer acolytes will not have the blessing of the president or his team,” a White House official told NBC News, as if these guys didn’t know that. “Any donors or supporters of this group should think twice about getting on the wrong side of Trump world. We are carefully monitoring who is involved,” the official added. OOOOOOOOOHHHH CLOSELY MONITORING!!!!

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Avis employee arrested for stealing 47 of company’s rental cars

A now-former employee of the Avis Budget rental car company’s Syracuse Hancock International Airport lot in upstate New York is being sought on grand larceny and scheme to defraud charges after he somehow stole no fewer than 47 vehicles from the lot last summer, the AP reports.

The 31 year-old male was not named in the article but that gap is kind of smaller than the details about just how the fuck this dude stole 47 cars. There’s some vague and confusing mention of how the scheme “involved renting out the purloined vehicles at other locations around Onondaga County,” then the AP says that cops “declined to release details of how the vehicles were stolen.”

Maybe the cops don’t really know either. They did however say that 42 of the vehicles had been recovered and returned to Avis but then again who knows if that inventory is accurate if the company let 47 cars get fucking stolen off of their lot over two months without knowing.

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Large volcano in Iran reawakening after 700,000 years

Just in case you’re considering a visit to the remote Sistan and Baluchestan province in southeast Iran near the border with Afghanistan, wait. ABC News reports researchers have determined that an eruption at the Taftan Volcano, dormant for at least the last 700,000 years, may be reawakening.

Startling, right? From a white paper by Mohammadhossein Mohammadnia, Man Wai Yip, A Alexander G Webb, and Pablo J Gonzalez: “We unambiguously document unrest at Taftan volcano. Summit uplift was detected using Interferometric Synthetic Aperture Radar time series and its timing tightly constrained applying a new common mode filtering method. Uplift started and ended gradually lasting 10 months (July 2023 to May 2024). Uplift peaked at 11 cm/year rates, and during slowing-down several gas emission events occurred. Unrest was triggerless, uncorrelated with rainfall or seismic events. We favor internal driving processes with two possible scenarios: (a) dynamic hydrothermal alteration leading to permeability changes, shallow gas storage and pressurization, followed by opening of degassing pathways; or (b) a minor, undetected deep magmatic intrusion causing volatile exsolution and pore pressure increases within the hydrothermal system.”

“Lack of post-unrest subsidence suggests persistence of hydrothermal high-pressure conditions at the summit and associated hazards. Our study shows how satellite imagery reveals hidden volcanic hazards at Taftan, and the need to implement a holistic volcano risk reduction strategy.”

That wasn’t even that dense, but in even plainer English: This fucker means business and soon.

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Senate GOP admits healthcare a problem, not doing anything

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Ivermectin claims the life of another patriot

The Douglas County, Colorado coroner this week confirmed that a 74 year-old horse paste superfan died of “ivermectin toxicity” from ingesting too much of the miracle drug, CBS Colorado reports

The inquest into the August 2 death of Mary Doran concluded that “The decedent and her husband were reportedly taking ivermectin intermittently over the past year which was being taken 2 times a day over the past 6 days… Ivermectin was present at the decedent’s home,” in containers that say outright “for oral use in horses only.” As in not human beings, no matter what Q told you to do.

Horse paste abuse has taken the lives of at least seven patriots in the United States since 2021.

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Average Obamacare premium to increase by 30 percent

Documents leaked from Mehmet Oz’s Center for Medicare and Medicaid obtained by the Washington Post reveal that the Trump Administration itself knows that ACA insurance premiums are about to go up an average of 30 percent which, coupled with the likely expiration of pandemic-era subsidies, means millions will see their health insurance payments double or even triple in 2026.

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New Hampshire MAGA gerrymander bricked

A MAGA New Hampshire state Senator Dan Innis on Friday announced he’s yanking his bill to redraw the Granite State’s two congressional districts to make one of them far easier for a Republican to win in what Politico reports is a “blow to the White House’s aggressive effort to protect the GOP’s House majority in the midterms” as though the whole project had ever been about something else.

Republican Gov Kelly Ayotte, a former Senator, has been taking a lot of shit from MAGA for resisting the convicted felon President Trump’s commands, but still isn’t budging. “The governor wasn’t that supportive of it since it’s in the middle of the normal redistricting cycle. Rather than create a difficult situation, I thought it made sense to save this for another time,” said Innis, plainly disappointed.

The failure comes at a period of renewed urgency for the fascists’ efforts to rig the 2026 House map in their favor as California’s Prop 50 will wipe out the net five seats in Texas and Virginia Dems’ new plan will cost the GOP as many as three. Outside of Texas, only one new GOP seat is truly in the bag as Indiana Republicans are stalling and Missouri’s move to kill a Kansas City Dem seat may be frozen or even overturned outright. Next year the Trump GOP could kill some Dem seats in Florida and Ohio but by then other Blue States may have already gotten their act together.

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Regime to send “election observers” to California, New Jersey

Scumbag US Attorney General Pam Bondi is expected on Friday to announce that the Trump Regime is deploying federal “election observers” to California and New Jersey to do something something as voters turn out for a key redistricting referendum and gubernatorial election in the two blue states, respectively, the AP reports on what sure as shit sounds like a trial run for 2026 and 2028.

“Transparency at the polls translates into faith in the electoral process, and this Department of Justice is committed to upholding the highest standards of election integrity,” said Bondi.

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New York City to empty out if Mamdani elected: New York Post

A very SHOCKING new survey from “Victory Insights” finds that 26.5 percent of New Yorkers will consider fleeing the city if leftist Dem mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani’s glide path to Gracie Mansion is not miraculously interrupted somehow, the New York Post reports.

Just to play along, the resultant crash in housing prices would lower the overall cost of living, thereby wildly outstripping Mamdani’s campaign promises. The doom loop would be immediately arrested by a massive influx of newcomers with more modest means which would then re-escalate costs, but not fast enough for Bill Ackman to mount a successful challenge to Mamdani in 2029.

And bagel shops in Sarasota, Florida will still have even more customers complaining that the bagels suck, it’s too hot, flood insurance is too expens… Marty, we should’ve moved to the Poconos! My sistah Rachelle showed us that house but you said you didn’t wanna have to shovel the driveway!

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Mike Johnson apparently cancels daily press conference

National Zero had planned to carry Speaker Mike Johnson’s 10:00 AM EDT press conference buuuuuuuuuut maybe he just really doesn’t want to answer any questions about the $230 million payout convicted felon President Trump wants from the DOJ or something so there will be none.

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Inflation hit 3 percent in September

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.3 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis in September, after rising 0.4 percent in August, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 3.0 percent before seasonal adjustment. Note that September CPI data collection was completed before the lapse in appropriations. The index for gasoline rose 4.1 percent in September and was the largest factor in the all items monthly increase, as the index for energy rose 1.5 percent over the month.”

“The food index increased 0.2 percent over the month as the food at home index rose 0.3 percent and the food away from home index increased 0.1 percent. The index for all items less food and energy rose 0.2 percent in September, after rising 0.3 percent in each of the 2 preceding months.”

“Indexes that increased over the month include shelter, airline fares, recreation, household furnishings and operations, and apparel. The indexes for motor vehicle insurance, used cars and trucks, and communication were among the few major indexes that decreased in September. The all items index rose 3.0 percent for the 12 months ending September, after rising 2.9 percent over the 12 months ending August. The all items less food and energy index also rose 3.0 percent over the last 12 months. The energy index increased 2.8 percent for the 12 months ending September. The food index increased 3.1 percent over the last year,” says the BLS’s monthly CPI report.

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Fat Hitler continues raving like a fucking lunatic over Canada tariffs

“CANADA CHEATED AND GOT CAUGHT!!!They fraudulently took a big buy ad saying that Ronald Reagan did not like Tariffs, when actually he LOVED TARIFFS FOR OUR COUNTRY, AND ITS NATIONAL SECURITY. Canada is trying to illegally influence the United States Supreme Court in one of the most important rulings in the history of our Country. Canada has long cheated on Tariffs, charging our farmers as much as 400 percent. Now they, and other countries, can’t take advantage of the US any longer. Thank you to the Ronald Reagan Foundation for exposing this FRAUD. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” Orange Grandpa posted on his social media site Friday.

It’s so stupid yet requires some explanation.

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Bear breaks into Northern California zoo

In a Facebook post last week, the Sequoia Park Zoo in Eureka, California admitted that their facility isn’t all that secure from bears penetrating the fencing and roaming freely around the facility, though to be fair – and as already spoiled in the headline – the bear was an outside infiltrator.

“Staff conducting the Redwood Sky Walk daily inspection spotted a wild American black bear within the Zoo facility. Emergency procedures were implemented immediately, and the facility deployed a rapid response to assess and resolve the situation. We are grateful to Eureka Police Department and California Department of Fish and Wildlife for their swift response and assistance in creating a calm and safe resolution. This was an exemplary execution of our emergency systems which resulted in the best outcome for everyone involved – including the bear!” Sequoia Park Zoo wrote in the post.

“The wild bear did not appear aggressive and was observed interacting with Tule, Ishŭng, and Kunabulilh through their habitat fencing. At no point did the wild bear enter any animal habitats and, after a brief exploration of the enrichment items around the night house, the bear was safely coaxed back into the woods through a service gate. Overall, he was a very polite visitor. He stayed on the boardwalk path, kept two feet on the ground and didn’t try to climb over the railings! (But seriously, when we say ‘wildlife welcome,’ this isn’t exactly what we have in mind. 😅) The perimeter fencing separating the Zoo from Sequoia Park is intact and secure, and it is currently unknown how the animal gained access to the Zoo. We will continue to monitor the situation,” the post continued.

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“Mr President, we don’t have the time”

New Jersey MAGA Congressman Jeff Van Drew, a traitor who switched from a Democrat to a Republican after convicted felon President Trump’s first impeachment trial, tells Politico he recently warned the fat fuck that the Obamacare situation needs to be fixed immediately and with a clean extension of the subsidies before the next enrollment period begins on November 1st – but the imperative simply wasn’t getting through with the legendarily stubborn and stupid “leader.”

“Can’t we do something better?” Trump asked, per Van Drew, who replied “Mr President, we don’t have the time,” speaking to how long it takes to craft legislation that would actually pass.

A “person familiar with the administration’s thinking” said they “don’t think the president cares to save Obama’s legacy legislation that has proved to be a failure and an ongoing headache for everyone involved,” as if that’s the fucking point. “I do see a scenario where the president sees a pathway for a health care policy bill that could receive some bipartisan support,” the person added, again in a panglossian fugue where there’s a “concept of a plan” let alone an actual, you know, plan.

“Democrats have to be really careful, because they’re going to get exposed on one, how expensive Obamacare is. And two, they were the ones that put that in the Inflation Reduction Act, where the subsidies sunset,” the source continued, as though their Orange God Emperor won last year on voters’ ability to see nuance and complexities of economic policy rather than vinyl campaign signs that said “TRUMP: LOW PRICES – KAMALA: HIGH PRICES” and other gratingly reductive pablum.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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