Category: Uncategorized

House Democrats in August raked in $22 million to the House GOP’s $9.7 million, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, adding “Republicans have been freaking out about their fundraising, and here’s another datapoint that will scare them.” Dems have $86.7 million on hand to the GOP’s $70 million.

Sources tell NBC News that convicted felon former President Trump does not plan to pull his endorsement of obese porn freak North Carolina Lt Governor Mark Robinson in the Tar Heel State’s gubernatorial race, despite calls from both within his campaign team and from Republicans such as both of the state’s senators, Thom Tillis and Ted Budd, not to mention other native son, Trump’s own handpicked GOP chairman Mike Whatley, to undorse Señor “Black NAZI” immediately.

“The problem with it is, while he may feel like that might be a smart move – and I don’t know that he does – there’s no way in hell he’s going to risk the base, which will go furious,” one Trump minion told NBC, adding the Orange Slob may instead make a statement “disavowing” Big Mark’s “actions.”

“How bad is it when a Candidate running for Office makes a major part of her Campaign that she works at McDonald’s, and it turns out not to be true, but the worst part is the Media refuses to talk about it!” posted convicted felon former President Trump, still raging over the Golden Arches.

“I saved Flavored Vaping in 2019, and it greatly helped people get off smoking. I raised the age to 21, keeping it away from the ‘kids.’ Kamala and Joe want everything banned, killing small businesses all over the Country. I’ll save Vaping again!” he also posted and that’s verifiably false.

The National Library of Medicine – a federal agency – says “At the beginning of 2020, the FDA initiated a temporary enforcement policy that banned the sale of all capsule-based e-cigarettes with flavors other than tobacco or menthol but did not apply the flavor restrictions to disposable or open-systems e-cigarettes (ie, those with a chamber that users can fill with the e-liquid of their choice).”

There’s still some litigation ongoing but it is beyond dispute that Trump’s Administration initiated the ban on flavored vape cartridges. He also reportedly screamed “I should never have done that fucking vaping thing,” to HHS Secretary Alex Azar when worried about losing the 2020 election.

Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg is playing JD Vance in Minnesota Governor Tim Walz’s vice presidential debate prep sessions, ABC News reports on both an interesting and smart choice to inhabit the role of the assclown-ish fascist wannabe Ohio senator and Mike Pence replacement.

"Rushes into other room"

I was *walking* to the doctor (because one of my kids gave me the plague)

My comment on Mark Robinson is that Kamala Harris cast the deciding vote on the Inflation Explosion Act and because of that a lot of Americans can't afford groceries https://t.co/jYyHAhIGEa

— JD Vance (@JDVance) September 20, 2024

Prosecutors in Russia have determined that American Kremlin fanboy and Sputnik employee Russell Bentley, who went missing in the occupied Donbass region of Ukraine on April 8th, was tortured to death by Russian soldiers who probably mistook him for a US spy, Reuters reports.

The report on Bentley’s disappearance, compiled by the state Investigative Committee, recommended the three be prosecuted for what had to be a gruesome and excruciating death, before two of them put his remains in a car and blown it up. Then a fourth soldier was ordered the next day to move Bentley’s remains to another location in an attempt to conceal the crime.

The soldiers are expected to face trial on charges ranging from exceeding their authority, using physical violence and torture, and causing death by negligence, to attempted concealment of a serious crime. Probably a good chance they’ll be convicted and sent to some remote gulag for the crime, as the Kremlin no doubt doesn’t want other JD Vance and Tucker Carlson fans to be deterred from defecting to serve Tsar Vladimir’s regime in whatever capacity they can.

Sources on convicted felon former President Trump’s team tell the New York Times that – despite acknowledging a “less than ideal” problem for Lord Orange in a crucial state – they pretty quickly gave up on the idea to try to pressure sick freak North Carolina Lt Governor Mark Robinson into dropping out of the gubernatorial race on Thursday, deciding “that direct pressure probably would not work and could in fact backfire, leading him to dig in and defend himself,” per the Times.

With Trump headed to North Carolina for a rally on Saturday – Robinson will not be on stage with him, probably ever again – Donald’s minions told the Times that Donald’s first reaction privately to the story was that it had nothing to do with him and he’s staying out of it, but they said to expect the disgraced former president to address the matter either at the rally or via Truth Social the usual way: By pretending he hardly knows the man he once called “Martin Luther King on steroids.”

The Times reporting comes after Puck’s Tara Palmeri put together a more general dispatch from within the Great MAGA King’s palace, writing that “with less than seven weeks until the election, the mood within Mar-a-Lago is decidedly grim,” and that the best news is that Don Jr’s engagement to Kim Guilfoyle will probably survive him being spotted in public making out with some Palm Beach socialite and that there’s no truth to the far grosser rumors of a Don Sr-Laura Loomer hookup.

You can tell Maria Bartiromo, who isn’t all that chemically balanced herself, is a wee bit taken aback by House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer calling Minnesota Gov Tim Walz’s family “That’s a scary family. It looks like the type of family that’s been indoctrinated,” before trying to Hunter Biden-ize Vice President Kamala Harris’s running mate with the same old “Chayna” bullshit.

In a blow to Kremlin efforts to get convicted felon former President Trump returned to power, the US Supreme Court on Friday tossed an emergency petition from Russian asset Jill Stein to get on the ballot in Nevada, the Associated Press reports on a win for Silver State Democrats who had successfully challenged Stein’s ballot access petition signatures as fraudulent.

“Thank you for your letter regarding the potential for the weaponization of Federal Communications Commission broadcast licensing. The First Amendment is a cornerstone of our democracy. The Commission does not revoke licenses for broadcast stations simply because a political candidate disagrees with or dislikes content or coverage. Our job at the agency is to license broadcast stations in a manner consistent with the Constitution and the Communications Act of 1934 as well as the rules and policies we have adopted pursuant to these laws. There are no exceptions.”

“I appreciate your interest in this matter. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance,” wrote FCC Chairwoman Jessica Rosenworcel in response to Dem Senators Ron Wyden and Ed Markey’s inquiries about whether demented old slob former President Trump’s demands that ABC be punished over his horrifically bad debate performance against Vice President Kamala Harris.

A source at the Apple Store in Downtown Brooklyn on Thursday informed National Zero that most staff members – the source himself included – had to clock in at 6 AM Friday ahead of an 8 AM special opening for the launch of the newest generation of iPhone, iPad, and Apple Watch models.

The source said he anticipated a busy morning and maybe some mild headaches while moving the newest devices but, as a longtime retail employee of the tech brand’s storefronts, nothing even remotely on the scale of the blocks-long lines and instant sellout launches of the early years of the world’s most popular smartphone and – to a lesser extent – its associated tablets and smartwatches.

While we’re pretty confident the source was not savagely beaten to death, much less even threatened with it by hardcore Apple nerds, we’re far less certain the same can be said of the hotly anticipated launch of the Huawei Mate XT – also debuting on Friday – where Huawei superfans were fucking PISSED that the $2,800 USD tri-foldable smartphone was available only to customers who had preordered, with one outside of a store telling Reuters he had “been here since 10 pm last night because this tri-folding phone is a first and I’m excited to support our country.”

Maybe the headline’s less sarcastic than intended, since the media narrative about her hiding from the media is more like bitching that she won’t do a full Ginsburg on Sunday morning while she’s doing less conventional but smarter, more-focused hits like the “Wired Autocomplete” above.

A new national public opinion survey by AP-NORC finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 40 to 39 percent on the question of which candidate would handle crime better, a possible warning sign for the fat, demented old bastard who constantly posts shit like “CRIME IN AMERICA IS OUT OF CONTROL. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT, ALONG WITH THE ECONOMY, INFLATION, STRONG BORDERS, AND ENERGY DOMINANCE, MY TOP PRIORITY.”

On those other “signature issues” Trump’s leads are down to 43 to 41 percent on the economy and 45 to 40 percent on immigration, the second of which was the type of finding Republicans in Congress have been struggling to cope with in particular. Trump’s only other lead was a 36 to 33 percent on handling the War Between Israel and Hamas. Everything else was abysmal, but to be fair they were issues any Dem should naturally have a big lead on, such as climate, abortion, guns, etc.

The AP writes the economy finding’s “a warning sign for Trump, who has tried to link Harris to Joe Biden’s economic record. The new poll suggests Harris may be escaping some of the president’s baggage on the issue, undercutting what was previously one of Trump’s major advantages.”

Ohio Governor Mike DeWine laments convicted felon former President Trump and his Mike Pence replacement JD Vance’s batshit lies about DeWine’s hometown in a New York Times op-ed:

Might be another hour or two before Truth Social lights up with “Ohio ‘Governor’ Mike DeWhiner is an America Last Globalist RINO who does Not have the courage to protect the people of his Great State. I love Ohio and they need a Fighter to protect them from these people the illegals who are eating the dogs, eating the cats, eating the pets. Mike DeWhine is not that Fighter. Very sad.”

Former President Donald Trump maintains a 2-point lead over Vice President Kamala Harris in the race for the White House in the first Rasmussen Reports survey conducted since the candidates' debate. MORE: https://t.co/hdgHiTMIup pic.twitter.com/aLirKjRgES

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) September 20, 2024

What makes this even funnier is that Trump himself on Thursday had posted “New Rasmussen Poll has us leading by 8 points, 52-44. Smart people want a Great Economy, No Inflation, Energy Independence, a Strong Military & Border, NO CRIME, a Powerful Second Amendment, Honest Elections, and much more. MAGA!!! TRUMP2024,” meaning one of them is lying or mistaken.

We would go find the actual Rasmussen poll to find out, but that would require actually caring.

Giant-foreheaded Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz was present a drug-fueled sex party in 2017 with the 17-year-old girl at the center of the sex trafficking scandal that brought down his bro Joel Greenberg, according to legal documents filed to a Florida federal court just before midnight Thursday, that cite sealed affidavits from three eye-witness testimonies, NOTUS reports.

The details about the party, hosted by another Gaetz bro lobbyist Chris Dorsworth, surfaced in the documents that were only filed because Dorsworth had filed a lawsuit against the witnesses that ended up getting tossed, and their lawyers posted these filings early Thursday as part of their push to recoup fees. “The discovery taken in this case to date reflects that on Saturday, July 15, 2017… Dorworth, hosted a party at his residence… with the following guests present: (1) AB; (2) KM; (3) BG (4) Matt Gaetz,” the filing says, detailing specific testimony mentioning that, “AB” the then-17 year-old who was seen nude at the party where revelers were present to “engage in sexual activities,” and consume “alcohol, cocaine, ecstasy… and marijuana.” Sounds like Gaetz’s kind of time.

The crucial 11:59 PM deadline came and went Thursday and obese “black NAZI” psychopath Lt Governor Mark Robinson did not withdraw from the North Carolina gubernatorial race, WSOC TV’s Joe Bruno reports, dooming the state Republican Party to what had already been a pretty highly likely defeat at the hands of Dem Attorney General Josh Stein even before CNN dug up all the horribly embarrassing shit Robinson posted on “Nude Africa” over a decade ago.

Olivia Nuzzi is on leave from New York Magazine after acknowledging she had an affair with worm-brained presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. while she was covering he 2024 campaign and he was married to actress Cheryl Hines, The Wrap reports.

The magazine reportedly learned of the affair before Nuzzi disclosed it.  “Recently our Washington Correspondent Olivia Nuzzi acknowledged to the magazine’s editors that she had engaged in a personal relationship with a former subject relevant to the 2024 campaign while she was reporting on the campaign, a violation of the magazine’s standards around conflicts of interest and disclosures,” read a statement from the magazine.

Nuzzi had written a profile of the Man Who Dumps Bear in Park in 2023, but a person close to the report told a reporter anonymously that the affair started after it was published.

The group that claims to represent the uncommitted voters of America–presumably a bunch of single forty-somethings who live in rented apartments where they’re still trying to decide between MeatLovers and Hawaiian–lived up to their collective reputation and declined to endorse a candidate in the upcoming presidential election.

Yes, predictably, Uncommitted National Movement leaders decline to outright endorse Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, according to USA Today, although they did publicly oppose a second term for Trump and all other independent candidates.