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NYPD removes Palestinian flag from CCNY campus, reraises American flag after anti-Israel protest https://t.co/BuN4u9DhGE

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 1, 2024

Preacher Mike Johnson’s Republican majority now hinges on the mood on any given day of just one of the various glory-seeking self-important, delusional conspiracists in the GOP conference.  Democratic state senator Tim Kennedy won a special election for the vacant New York 26th Congressional District seat Tuesday, CNN reports, temporarily leaving the Republican majority with just one vote to spare.

With a 217 Republican-213 Democratic split, Johnson can spare only one GOP defection if he hopes to pass any legislation, something he’s not been able to do effectively lately without Democratic help.  That margin grows in the next eight weeks as other special elections in strong Red districts will fill vacant seats, including former Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s old California district.

The Donald Trump Manhattan criminal election interference hush money trial had a few juicy bits–including the fact that Donald Trump and Michael Cohen hoped to delay the payment to Stormy Daniels until after the election–but from a strategic standpoint, the prosecution continues to lay out the plan and reason for paying off Trump’s lovers:  to help his campaign.

• For the first time, a member of Trump’s family attending the trial:  son Eric was in the gallery.  
• Judge Merchan found Trump in violation of the gag order, assessing $1,000 for each of nine violations.   The judge ordered the offending posts removed from Trump’s accounts by 2:15 p.m. ET; they were gone before the deadline.
• Merchan did not impose a stricter gag order.  In fact, he clarified that his gag order concerning Trump mentioning witnesses does not prevent Trump from responding to an attack on Trump on social media by a witness.  In that case, Trump may respond, Merchan said, a boundary that will surely be tested by Trump.
  Read More ▶ “Back in court, women’s lawyer links Trump to payments”

Kristi Noem murdering her dog in a roadside gravel pit like Canine Soprano is obviously a horrific tale of animal abuse and psychotic behavior, but it also differs in how conservatives treat working people only by degrees.  It’s almost too on-the-nose to be a metaphor.  

To summarize what Noem claims in a new book she did–feel free to skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want the gory details–Noem says she took the family’s 14-month-old dog Cricket hunting, but the dog didn’t behave.  At a roadside stop, Cricket escaped the car and killed some chickens, snapped at Noem when she tried to get him under control. Noem “hated that dog,” she wrote.  So she pulled Cricket into a gravel pit and shot him.  It was so unplanned, her daughter came home from school that day and asked Noem, “Where’s Cricket?”  Noem also killed a goat which annoyed her in a similar manner although–Noem jokes in the book!–the goat was harder to kill.  There were no other options for these animals in Noem’s opinion: No adoption.  No professional training.  Just death.

Unfortunately, Cricket learned what happens to workers conservatives feel are no longer valuable to them–and when I say “valuable,” I mean purely economically.  There is no other value to conservatives besides the value one brings to the economy.  And Cricket’s value to Kristi Noem was like the true value of Trump’s new technology stock:  virtually worthless.

A massive police presence has grown outside the campus of Columbia University, with police special tactics teams entering the building where demonstrators are holed up in protest of Israeli military attacks in Gaza.  It’s unclear how many, if any, of the sixty people believed to be inside the building are affiliated with the University.

The students have taken over Hamilton Hall, blocking entrances, but New York Police officers are using a vehicle with a ramp on the roof to approach a window at the corner of 116th Street and Amsterdam.  Demonstrators appear to want to have impact similar to the 1968 takeover of the building, except now, just sixty people are believed to be inside.

The Department of Justice officially started the process rolling to reclassify marijuana from a serious Schedule 1 drug similar to cocaine and heroin, categorizing instead as a less-regulated Schedule III substance like ketamine or Tylenol with codeine, CNN reports.  Once the rule is printed in the Federal Register, a review within the formal rulemaking process outlined in the Controlled Substance Act begins that could lead to final reclassification.

Reclassification would have ripples up and down cannabis-related activities from medical research to recreational sales.  Schedule III drugs are regulated as controlled substances that have medical benefits when used within guidelines, whereas Schedule 1 drugs are just scourges to society (allegedly).  The change would also allow cannabis-related businesses to use commercial banking systems with federal approval.  It also provides easier access to marijuana and THC for medical researchers.

UPDATE 9:12 p.m. ET:  Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Democratic Senator Ron Wyden (WI) and Cory Booker (NJ) will formally announce Wednesday that they are reintroducing their legislation to decriminalize cannabis, the Cannabis Administration and Opportunity Act.

A panel from the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the latest Congressional district map for Louisiana, saying that an extremely gerrymandered new district designed by the Republican legislature to get a Black majority was unconstitutionally racially gerrymandered.  The state’s original Congressional map had five majority-white Congressional districts and one majority Black, even though more than 40% of the state is non-white.  It’s unclear what this decision, which saw two Trump appointed judges outvoting a Clinton appointee, will have on the 2024 election where individual seats could be the margin between Majority and Minority Party in the House.

“Mr Clark did not explain his actions to the Hearing Committee, instead invoking the Fifth Amendment. Certainly, he can defend himself here however he chooses. But that does not relieve him ‘from recognizing the seriousness of the misconduct that led to’ this proceeding.”

“Indeed, lawyers can both mount a vigorous defense while acknowledging mistakes and pledging to do things differently if given the opportunity. From the outset of these proceedings, Mr Clark has refused to engage with the facts and the actual allegations against him but has instead treated the process as though it were a totalitarian show trial. His Answer addressed none of the salient facts alleged in the Specification of Charges. Instead, it raised 54 affirmative defenses, including ‘ODC’s Prosecution Here is Political in Nature,’ ‘ODC’s Collusion with Congress Violates the Separation of Power,’ ‘ODC May Not Violate the Confidentiality of the Investigative Stage of the Disciplinary Process or Try Its Case in the Press,’ ‘ODC’s Filing of Charges Occurred at Least in Part to Penalize Respondent for Exercising His Constitutional Rights, a Course of Conduct that Violates Due Process and the First Amendment,’ and ‘Res Judicata/Preclusion’ [based on President Trump’s acquittal at his second impeachment trial]. Needless to say, no evidence was ever adduced to support any of these claims,” writes the DC Bar Association’s Disciplinary Counsel team in their conclusion on Trump toady former Justice Department official Jeffrey Clark’s misconduct proceedings, adding they request that “the Hearing Committee adopt these proposed findings of fact, conclude that Mr Clark violated the Rules as charged, and recommend that he be disbarred.” Womp womp.

MSNBC correspondent Lisa Rubin, who spent Tuesday in the Manhattan courtroom where Donald Trump’s trial is ongoing, reports that Trump has frequently been seen sleeping during the trial, missing long chucks of testimony. Rubin lists some of the way Trump’s lawyer’s are trying to keep him awake, including giving him papers to scan through and keeping an aide nearby to jostle him if his head droops. Rubin notes Trump’s apparent “exhaustion” as he just sits at the table.

Fat former President Trump really lost his shit over being found in contempt of court on Tuesday, writing “This is a total Witch Hunt. Hours of sitting down and listening to nothing except EXONERATION AND LIES. The Trial is going like a speeding bullet, because the Judge is working hard to make all of his friends happy. Merchan is Rigged, Crooked and above all, and without question, CONFLICTED. It’s a disgrace to our Country – They’ve taken away my Right to Free Speech. ELECTION INTERFERENCE!!!” in a Truth Social post following the rough go of it.

The “nothing except EXONERATION AND LIES” is kind of self-contradictory, as was his earlier rant outside the courtroom in which he screamed that Judge Merchan is “rushing this case through,” but also that “somebody just told me they never sat for such a long period of time in a courthouse before. It’s ridiculous.” And yeah it is ridiculous to say that because defendants, lawyers, plaintiffs, judges, bailiffs, and others sit in that courthouse for lengthy trials all the time. Every day, really.

This is Joe Biden’s America.

This is Joe Biden’s campus chaos. pic.twitter.com/rh9dntZVIj

— GOP (@GOP) April 30, 2024

The woke college campuses populated by spoiled elitist brats who have no goddamned idea what it’s like to have to get up in the morning and put in a hard day’s work like real Americans do every day have now been overrun by ultra leftist spoiled elitist brats cosplaying as pro-Palestinian anarchists with no idea what it’s like to have to worry about the price of eggs and gas like regular everyday working families outside their insular Ivory Tower world. This is Joe Biden’s America.

That’s right libs. All those politically correct pussy administrators and professors who hid behind moronic buzzwords like “microaggressions” and “pronouns” to disrespect the free speech rights of those who disagree are now being terrorized by the maniacs who disrupt campus life and refuse to respect the authority of the hardworking administrators and professors who run the place.

Joe Biden should do something to protect all of those Jewish students being harassed by the pro-Hamas leftist freaks. Also the Jews who go to Ivy League and other elite colleges are Democrat-voting dumbasses who hate Israel and their religion. But he won’t because he’s weak and doesn’t care about the regular Americans concerned about what’s happening on the campuses of elite colleges filled with woke Marxist students and snobby globalist professors who indoctrinate them.

In conclusion, this never would have happened if Biden had just called in the National Guard to shoot these protestors in the kneecaps. We need peace through strength to protect higher learning.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve conducted this detailed analysis of the official Republican Party response to the ongoing chaos at America’s elite universities.

Cambodian Army spokesman Major General Mao Phalla told media on Tuesday that some doofus improperly handling ammunition must have been the futz up that caused that huge, loud blowup that really bombed out on 20 soldiers over the weekend, the Associated Press reports on a total bummer.

Phalla said the doinker, who was probably nicknamed “Private Pinhead” by his squadmates before he bonked everything up for them permanently, was probably unloading a truck and stacked the crates on the ground, which is such a Pinhead move. Our theory however is that their famously cranky Sergeant “Hayseed” Hupaeng screamed “PRIVATE PINHEAD! What is with these goddamned filthy Thai porno magazines you got in yer bunk after I ordered you to remove all contraband readin’ materials?!? Drop and give me 50 naw!!!” and then he immediately dropped the crates causing the first of the many explosions in the chain reaction that leveled the entire Kampong Speu post.

“Earthquake activity increased sharply just after midnight on April 27 beneath the upper East Rift Zone (between Puhimau Crater and Hilina Pali road) and beneath Kīlauea caldera south of Halemaʻumaʻu. Earthquakes are occurring at depths of 1.5-2.5 km (1-1.5 miles) beneath the surface. Activity intensified yesterday and there have been over 360 earthquakes in the past 24 hours compared to 250 earthquakes in the previous 24 hours mostly beneath the upper East Rift Zone with fewer in the caldera south of Halemaʻumaʻu. In addition, the intensity of activity increased just after 11 p.m. on April 28, when several strong earthquakes including a magnitude 3.3 set off a swarm of earthquakes beneath the upper East Rift Zone that lasted for about 45 minutes. Activity returned to frequent small earthquakes less than magnitude 2 punctuated by occasional larger earthquakes with magnitudes between 2 and 3. The deeper earthquakes that were occurring 5-10 km (3-6 miles) directly beneath Kīlauea caldera over the past few weeks have ceased,” says a new bulletin from the US Geological Survey on seismic activity caused by mole people under Hawaii.

Upon closer inspection of the bulletin it doesn’t actually say “mole people.” In fact it seems to attribute the seismicity to movements of magma underneath an active volcano. Still it doesn’t definitely rule out new burrows being constructed by mole people either. And even if the quakes are being caused by magma there’s nothing that says that such an environment might be suitable for mole people as the lava could be a source for nutrients metabolized by the vast subterranean fields of lichens and fungi that their civilization subsides upon. So we’re comfortable with the headline.

Obviously complying with the lawsuit threat they got on Monday, Fox News began removing defamatory content such as “The Trial of Hunter Biden,” a six-part “mock trial” series presided over by reality TV Judge Joe Brown, from its “Fox Nation” streaming service, the Daily Beast reports.

The best part is that Fox tried to present themselves in a “bring it”-type show of defiance on Tuesday in a statement reading “Hunter Biden’s lawyers have belatedly chosen to publicly attack Fox News’ constitutionally protected coverage regarding their client. Mr Biden is a public figure who has been the subject of investigations by both the Department of Justice and Congress, has been indicted by two different US Attorney’s Offices in California and Delaware, and has admitted to multiple incidents of wrongdoing,” only to just quietly delete this stupid bullshit.

Non-lawyer Jesse Watters on Tuesday qualified his opinion on legal matters with a little self deprecation “but I play one on TV” before getting serious with a non-legal scenario in which the Loch Ness Monster was selected as a juror in New York City as a means of claiming it’s a violation of the Constitution for fat former President Trump to be prohibited from intimidating jurors.

Far right Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito on Tuesday denied a bid from the ACLU to stay Texas’s law requiring age verification to access pornographic websites. And yeah the headline’s lazy, because it’s not Texas that blocked PornHub but rather PornHub that blocked itself from Texas rather than have to force masturbators to upload an image of their drivers’ license to verify their age.

Millions of Americans dependent on the Affordable Connection Program for access to sites like National Zero, 4chan, Pornhub, Twitter (or “X” for douchebags), Rumble, Truth Social, M&Ms World, and other important resources for human knowledge could lose their connection in like hours if Congress doesn’t authorize a renewal immediately, Popular.Info’s Judd Legum reports.

Everyday, I fight the Democrat agenda destroying America and I fight for an America First Republican agenda.

Mike Johnson is officially the Democrat Speaker of the House. Here is their official endorsement of his Speakership.

What slimy back room deal did Johnson make for the… pic.twitter.com/HGDyDzvJQH

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) April 30, 2024

Who the fuck actually knows with this racist conspiracy theory-loving maniac, but maybe the part in this stupid, too-long tweet that where she says “If the Democrats want to elect him Speaker (and some Republicans want to support the Democrats’ chosen Speaker), I’ll give them the chance to do it,” means she’s finally going to do this for real after more than a month of nothing but shit-talk.

“At this moment, upon completion of our national security work, the time has come to turn the page on this chapter of Pro-Putin Republican obstruction. We will vote to table Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Motion to Vacate the Chair. If she invokes the motion, it will not succeed,” says House Dem leadership in a statement, officially closing the door on decapitating Speaker Mike Johnson.

For his part Johnson responded to the statement by telling reporters that there were no deals cut and the only conversations he’s had with Dems was about just generally trying to avoid chaos.

A former senior manager at First Republic Bank will take the stand in Manhattan on Tuesday to testify about how former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen creatively accounted for the $130,000 hush money payment to Stormy Daniels he was fronting for the Orange God Emperor in 2017 and 2018.