Category: Uncategorized

MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon on Wednesday decided to not mix things up and give failed Trump assassin Ryan Routh a chance to maybe go see a movie in a theater or play pinball in two or three decades when he’s old and Donald will be long dead anyway, instead condemning the hapless fuckup to die in prison but totally wishes she could just torture him to death herself for even thinking about harming a golden hair on Trump’s beautiful head, CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reports.

It must be done or democracy is dead https://t.co/KdUALd9ykQ

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 4, 2026

Trump regime officials tell Axios that they’ve informed Iranian regime officials that no, fuck no, they will not move the planned Friday meeting in Istanbul to Oman nor will they unvite other regional powers to the summit or limit the topics to just the nuclear shit and exclude larger issues.

“We told them it is this or nothing, and they said, ‘Ok, then nothing,'” an official told Axios, with another adding “We want to reach a real deal quickly or people will look at other options,” which should be understood as a willingness on Team Trump’s part to Give War a Chance… Again.

The wacky part of this is that the two absolutely domineering titans of diplomacy Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner couldn’t simply intimidate the Iranians into bending to their will. And yeah the rote sarcasm of the previous sentence seems a little dissonant with the much more straightforward if colloquial construction of the prior passages of this brief but it had to be fit in somewhere here.

Asked by NBC News whether forcing Bill and Hillary Clinton under oath to testify about their ties to Jeffrey Epstein might make it easier for Democrats to do the same down the road, House Oversight chairbilly James Comer did acknowledge that his actions “could set a precedent.”

But he’s totally at peace with the present inconsistency of forcing the Clintons to show up but not convicted felon President Trump because Donald’s “been answering questions about Epstein” from the media. Within hours after NBC printed the quote, Trump lost his shit at CNN’s Kaitlin Collins for asking him questions about Epstein, but what’s funnier is that Comer almost seems to be lying to himself more than the reporter. What the hell else is going on in his sassafras-entangled brain if he isn’t on some level knowingly lying that Dems will act the same way when they retake the gavel?

I asked Alex Jones if he thinks Jeffrey Epstein could be alive after prison guard whistleblower documents were released his answer SHOCKED me:

“I think there’s a very good chance Epstein’s still alive… We’re being completely lied to, witness protection like stuff. He was a CIA… pic.twitter.com/VV6FNTOE6J

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) February 4, 2026

Yes, please let this catch on. Thank you, Benny Johnson, for platforming this batshittery from a guy over a billion in the hole who thinks frogs are gay but evidently doesn’t suspect you. Let’s blow this one up far and wide, build up anticipation that Epstein was some kind of “white hat” who will reemerge and expose all the crimes of the not-Republican or otherwise not-MAGA-friendly personalities he’s been alleged to have conspired with. That will be an EXCELLENT angle for the right wing media to work ahead of this year’s midterms. Have right at it fellas!

“I have just completed an excellent telephone conversation with President Xi, of China. It was a long and thorough call, where many important subjects were discussed, including Trade, Military, the April trip that I will be making to China (which I very much look forward to!), Taiwan, the War between Russia/Ukraine, the current situation with Iran, the purchase of Oil and Gas by China from the United States, the consideration by China of the purchase of additional Agricultural products including lifting the Soybean count to 20 Million Tons for the current season (They have committed to 25 Million Tons for next season!), Airplane engine deliveries, and numerous other subjects, all very positive! The relationship with China, and my personal relationship with President Xi, is an extremely good one, and we both realize how important it is to keep it that way. I believe that there will be many positive results achieved over the next three years of my Presidency having to do with President Xi, and the People’s Republic of China!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday after no doubt having had his tiny balls handed to him in the faceoff against Xi.

In a whistleblower complaint sent to Old Man Charles Grassley’s Judiciary Committee and shared with Fox News for reasons not totally clear, a now-former FBI agent last February emailed the Bureau’s public corruption squad and hilariously likened then-Trump-bestie Elon Musk’s use of Twitter on the job to now-former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s private email server.

“I would like to recommend the opening of a criminal 58 matter on the person(s) at OPM who approved the transmission of the earlier email,” the agent wrote, referring to Ketamine Brain’s moronic “List five things you did this week” email to every single federal government employee.

“That person in conspiracy with Elon Musk (who is reportedly an SGE), in addition to wasting a colossal amount of official time, encouraged, abetted, aided, etc thousands if not tens of thousands of government employees to violate government wide security policy and transmit sensitive government information outside of a strict need to know. Musk used a non-government system (twitter) to relate information that allegedly was for official purposes,” the agent wrote.

Then came the burn: “In doing so, because he is monetized (he is a majority owner of twitter) he likely generated income for himself based on Twitter’s monetization model and/or advertising revenues. His use of twitter in this and other instances is conceptually similar to Hillary Clinton’s misuse of a private email server for government business. Furthermore, this likely violates 18 USC 208 and the terms of his SGE agreement—an SGE cannot monetize themselves with their government work,” emphasis added on what Fox News emphasized in their article’s headline.

They describe the agent as now being “retired,” which while obviously better than being fired outright, does not automatically mean it was voluntary and/or amicable. Also unclear is the overall scope of the whistleblower complaint, who it’s directed at, and so on if it was not solely Musk and that’s even before whose agenda was served by Team Grassley handing this one email to Fox News.

Said some paunchy edgleord Dave Landau on Fox News “comedian” Greg Gutfeld’s show on Monday night via Media Matters: “You look at somebody like Bad Bunny, or you look at somebody like Trevor Noah. They don’t actually have the ability to talk trash in their own countries, so they come to America, make a great living, living the American dream, insulting our country, because they know in their homeland they would be killed for doing the very same thing. You look at Trevor Noah – and you look at Trevor Noah, there’s parts of Africa where they’ll put a gas-soaked tire around your neck and light you on fire, which is only slightly less painful than watching his version of The Daily Show.”

Bad Bunny is from Puerto Rico. The United States of America is his own country. Nobody corrected Landau on that, nor the part that South Africa would not summarily execute Trevor Noah. All of this was part of the propaganda network’s tantrum over the anti-ICE-heavy Grammys awards show.

NRSC chair Senator Tim Scott on Tuesday privately gave what Axios describes as a “sobering” presentation to his colleagues about how the party’s hold on the upper chamber is imperiled, especially concerning for Maine’s Susan Collins. Get it? “Concerning”? Because Susan Collins…

“We’ve got some headwinds,” an attendee told the bullet-point factory. Scott’s strategy for combatting said headwinds amounted to urging Republicans to hype the “accomplishments” of the Big Beautiful Piece of Shit and rip Dems for voting against it, as though the tax giveaway to corporations and the rich has broad appeal to those who weren’t already voting MAGA anyway.

Oh and “focus on affordability issues,” per Axios, who do not note that those specific issues were the focus of the last election that delivered them the current trifecta with which they were supposed to have addressed affordability issues by supercharging wage growth… Even that’s actually giving them too much credit since it was condensed down to “Trump Low Prices, Kamala high prices.”

In related-enough news and from the same outlet, Axios also reports that dog-murdering DHS Secretary Kristi Noem is holding up over 200 miles of new border wall construction because the languorous control freak simply hasn’t approved the vendor invoices yet. Bad habits die hard.

Yeah, MAGA people still have “a lot of questions” and this CNN lady “may say 100 times that it’s ‘false claims,'” of that election being rigged “but there are a number of people in this country that don’t believe that, okay? They believe that something happened” so, you know, it totally makes sense for convicted felon President Trump to want to seize control in 15 states or whatever the fat bastard thinks is going to happen. If only “a number of people believe in UFOs” was good enough to open Area 51 to public tours too. Hell why don’t Republicans just run on that?

“Eagle Ed” Martin, the former Capitol rioter defense lawyer who sucked so badly at his first Trump 2.0 job of Acting DC US Attorney that he got replaced by deranged alcoholic crone Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro, is now on his way to being forced out of his second job as “Weaponization” commissar/pardon attorney at Justice Department headquarters by Trump defense lawyer/current Deputy Attorney General, who CNN reports has found the disciplinary pretext to toss Martin.

To actually dignify said pretext by reprinting it here feels wrong on like a base fundamental level because propagating even the smallest impression whatsoever that the Trump Regime places any value on integrity and professionalism. At the same time it’s darkly funny for precisely the same reason. So screw it: Blanche found that Martin had improperly shared with outsiders details of the grand jury “investigations” into California Senator Adam Schiff and New York Attorney General Letitia James’s mortgages, denied it when confronted, and then saw that denial promptly implode when Blanche found emails in which Martin had shared with outsiders the details of those “investigations.”

Again, this is as though Blanche gives a shit about misconduct when they’re already blatantly (and incompetently) weaponizing the federal criminal justice system against the Orange God Emperor’s political enemies and in favor of his friends. Blanche himself moved a profligate convicted sex offender to a cushy Club Fed for white collar criminals even when she had lied to him in an interview.

He just thinks Martin’s a thirsty amateur who never should’ve been allowed to work with men and wants him gone. Martin, who doesn’t know how to work with men, gave Blanche a reason.

There’s not a lot of info available Marshfield, Wisconsin man Mathew Samson’s actual campaign for a seat on the school board in the town about 100 miles west of Green Bay and, as such, the lack of any online presence for his bid is an early sign that he’s not going to win on the 17th.

Another, more perilous sign however might be the four felony charges of child abuse and one count each of first-degree recklessly endangering safety, false imprisonment, strangulation and suffocation, and a misdemeanor count of battery, all as a domestic abuse incident, that he was hit with last week, according to the Marshfield News Herald, who laid out the allegations against him in exhaustive and wince-inducing detail that will not be reprinted here. It was however both Samson’s wife and kids who have suffered physical and psychological abuse – including him constantly threatening suicide – at his hands for which Samson, 41, faces 48 years in the clink.

And yeah, Samson is MAGA. “I recently posted about the shooting in Madison in anger and frustration. It was a response post out of anger and frustration with the continued youth Trans epidemic and the anger was against those that harm Christian children, and underneath it those that enable these youths to be like this. I took it down because my conscience weighed on me over how un Christ like it was,” he wrote in a December 2024 Facebook post on his personal profile.

Examining the set of quotes in this Tuesday night Politico article headlined “Republicans are freaking out about Hispanic voters after a Texas upset” first requires one crucial but not especially difficult assumption: That they really are freaking out after that 15 point state Senate special beatdown on Saturday and rather than just performatively dialing up the panic meter to keep their base engaged.

If it was limited to just the actual politicians then maybe it’s mostly fear porn. But that Texas GOP consultant Brendan Steinhauser says that the “imagery coming out of Minnesota in the last few days has had a huge impact on not only Hispanic voters, but swing voters, independents in Texas and around the country. What’s transpired there has definitely led to a bit of a political backlash,” and Latino Never Trumper GOP strategist Mike Madrid said younger Latino men are activated against MAGA because all this ICE shit has “angered and upset them” then, well, maybe it really is as bad as Politico and Ted Cruz and fucking asshole Lt Gov Dannie Goeb aka Dan Patrick make it sound.

The problem for the rest of us is there’s zero quantification of how bad it’s supposed to be because the actual turnout numbers are completely useless. On Saturday Dem Taylor Rehmet won by 15 in a district Trump carried by 17 percent in 2024, which sounds impressive when you don’t actually present any of the raw counts whatsoever, which Politico didn’t. Rehmet took 54,267 votes to Republican Leigh Wambsganns’ 40,598 for a total turnout of 94,865 in this runoff. Both of them also lost a few thousand raw votes from their first round on November 4th in which some other GOP d-bag and Wambsganns combined for 52.4 percent. So that was stupid and hopefully the Texas GOP fired whoever was supposed to bribe third place loser John Huffman to drop out back in September.

Hey Nancy, this you?https://t.co/InkxwaVeeh

— Andrew Jara (@Jara_Films) February 3, 2026

A whistleblower’s complaint against Hindi nationalist freak Tulsi Gabbard so classified it had to be hidden in a safe for months has been handed over to Congressional Intel Committee leaders, CBS News reports so buckle up for another really fucking batshit scandal.

“Warren County Prosecutor David P Fornshell announced that Olivia Clendenin, 29, of Franklin was convicted by a Warren County jury of attempted murder, two counts of felonious assault, and illegal discharge of a firearm at or into a habitation, along with accompanying firearm specifications,” says the prosecutor’s office in a press release and even the long headline here can’t quite do it justice.

“On January 1, 2025, Clendenin became aware that her husband and her boyfriend were together at a party after both men found out earlier that evening about the relationship each had with Clendenin. After unsuccessfully attempting to persuade her husband to leave the party, Clendenin responded to 5559 Dearth Road in Clearcreek Township, the location of the party,” and just gotta break it there mid-sentence to note that these people are already such freaking hicks before…

…”with a .40 caliber handgun. Clendenin then fired eight shots striking a male victim, who was sitting on the porch at that residence, in the abdomen nearly killing him. ‘The victim had simply been invited to a New Year’s Eve party and found himself in the middle of Clendenin’s barrage of gunfire,’ said Fornshell. ‘Clendenin may have started 2025 as a free person but will spend the rest of 2026 and at a minimum the decade thereafter incarcerated for attempting to murder at least one of her romantic interests – albeit striking and almost killing an innocent victim,'” the press release continued.

The victim was neither the boyfriend nor the husband, he’s never been publicly identified and, as mentioned, the prosecutor only knows that Clendenin shot him, not why. Even freaking wackier is that the only jealousy involved was Olivia’s over the husband – described as “estranged” in some reporting – getting along with the boyfriend at the latter’s house, even after they both knew of the love triangle-ish sitch. Which ended in some dude getting shot in the gut eight times in a drive-by.

This pair of tweets from Minneapolis Fox 9 reporter Paul Blume need be copied and pasted here for the full effect because holy freaking shit this is where the Minnesota US Attorney’s office is at:

“SHOCKING FEDERAL COURT MOMENT: DOJ attorney Julie Le, ‘The system sucks, this job sucks’ to Judge Jerry Blackwell who pressed her on why so many court orders are being ignored by ICE/Trump admin. She asked to be held in contempt just so she could get 24 hours of sleep. Judge Blackwell had ordered the SHOW CAUSE hearing because he was frustrated that in five Habeas cases he was presiding over, he felt his orders were being ignored, leaving immigrant detainees unconstitutionally locked up for days. Le said that govt lawyers just cannot keep up,” wrote Blume.

You read that right. “This job sucks,” and asking to be held in contempt so to sleep in a jail cell is where the Trump Administration’s Justice Department’s morale is right now. Epic rage quit.