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“Iran has just informed us that they are in a ‘State of Collapse.’ They want us to ‘Open the Hormuz Strait,’ as soon as possible, as they try to figure out their leadership situation (Which I believe they will be able to do!)” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, echoing the line from Downfall where Hitler insists Steiner will break through and rescue what remains of the Reich.

Any minute now will be the follow-up where Trump orders everyone out of the room except for Pete Hegseth, General Dan Caine, Tulsi Gabbard, and Kid Rock to scream at them while they sweat.

Earlier was even more embarrassing as Trump posted “Wow, that’s nice. I’ve always wanted to live in Buckingham Palace!!! I’ll talk to the King and Queen about this in a few minutes!!!” above a screenshot of some shitty right wing British newspaper’s article establishing that Trump and Charles’s last known common ancestor – John Stuart, the 3rd Earl of Lennox – died in 1526. Half the readers on this website are probably more “royal-blooded” than that. As is Barack Obama.

What follows is what the US Department of Justice, on behalf of the US National Park Service as defendant, put into the first page of a filing headlined “DEFENDANTS’ RULE 62.1 MOTION FOR AN INDICATIVE RULING DISSOLVING THE COURT’S INJUNCTION,” as in the gestalt of competent legal professionals who ostensibly take their careers in public service seriously but have to submit this to try to convince a federal judge to toss his own ruling halting the White House ballroom construction:

“‘The National Trust for Historic Preservation’ is a beautiful name, but even their name is FAKE because when they add the words ‘in the United States’ to the National Trust for Historic Preservation, it makes it sound like a Governmental Agency, which it is not. In fact, the United States refused to continue funding it in 2005 because they strongly disagreed with their mission and objectives. They are very bad for our Country. They stop many projects that are worthy, and hurt many others. In this case, they are trying to stop one that is vital to our National Security, and the Safety of all Presidents of the United States, both current and future, their families, staff, and Cabinet members. They were asked by the United States Military not to bring this suit because of the Top Secret nature of the important facility being built. They were shown detailed plans and specifications of this knitted, unified, and cohesive structure by Top Officers and Leaders in both the Military and Secret Service. But this did not deter them because they suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome, commonly referred to as TDS, as noted by Democrat Senator John Fetterman, of Pennsylvania, and are represented by the lawyer for Barack Hussein Obama, Gregory Craig. The lower section of the building does not work without the upper section and, likewise, the upper section of the building does not work without the lower,” and it keeps going for a while.

FBI agents executed a series of raids on nearly two dozen shiny objects in Minnesota on Tuesday morning as Director K$H Patel seriously fears losing his job for drinking in a Las Vegas casino bar on weeknights and tries to grab the low hanging headlines like the one in this Fox News tweet.

“🚨 BREAKING: A massive federal operation is unfolding in Minneapolis as part of a sweeping fraud investigation into largely Somali-owned businesses. The FBI raided over 20 locations, including childcare centers,” wrote the Fox News tweet-itorial staff with alacritous excitement. So frenzied was the suckerdom that they failed to realize that this is a far cry from the once-promised floor-by-floor sweep of George Soros’s Onyx Tower of Doom, ending in a grueling boss battle in his skull-adorned, flame-lit throne room at the top of the grotesque Midtown Manhattan redoubt.

A mere Victoria’s Secret catalog to the premium XXX rage porn the fanboys had been teased with.

POISONOUS POLITICS: First Lady Melania Trump’s senior adviser @MarcBeckman is sounding the alarm on an "ecosystem" of harsh attacks following the third attempt on President Trump’s life.

Beckman points to a 'Wall Street Journal' report as proof that this bitter rhetoric is… pic.twitter.com/Z8MacR5zUO

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) April 28, 2026

A court in South Korea on Tuesday sentenced former First Lady Melania Yoon Kim Keon Hee to a total of four years in prison, extending the 20-month bid she had been hit with in January after a judge found she had received an extra Chanel bag as a gift from the Moonies, the AP reports.

The extended stay was the result of appeals by both the defense and prosecution. It’s still a shorter bid than the life imprisonment her husband, disgraced ex-President Yoon Suk Yeol, got hit with in February for his deranged conspiracy theory-fueled attempt to impose martial law.

“The high cost of living continues to top Americans’ list of the most important financial problems facing their families. The 31 percent citing it in an open-ended question is below the 41 percent peak in 2024 but similar to a year ago and among the highest in Gallup’s more than 20-year trend. Energy costs, which have risen notably this year, are mentioned by 13 percent of Americans, up 10 percentage points from last year and the highest since 2008 – tying housing costs as the second-biggest concern. Healthcare ranks fourth at 8 percent, consistent with readings since 2020.”

“Americans’ financial outlook in 2026 is also historically poor, with a record 55 percent now saying their financial situation is getting worse. While similar to last year’s 53 percent, this is up from 47 percent in 2024 and marks the fifth consecutive year more Americans say their finances are worsening rather than improving,” says the toplines to a new Gallup survey released Tuesday.

It’s time to set the record straight: National Zero is NOT an Icelandic propaganda operation and any claims otherwise are complete nonsense. I’ve never even been to Iceland and don’t know how to pronounce “Hafnarfjarðarkaupstaður” or “Þorbjörn,” nor could I even tell you what that fake letter is that it starts with. Just because like four years ago that dickhead with the “Media Bias Fact Check” and pretty much no one else since then implied that, since the site’s domain registrar is based in Reykjavik, that somehow National Zero is somehow an Icelandic psy-ops campaign. It’s not true and just because it’s a ridiculous, deranged accusation doesn’t mean it should go unaddressed.

National Zero is by and for Americans… but others welcome, of course. Any implications of Icelandic influence are bullshit and the last article covered here wasn’t even a good look for the Icelandic government anyway, okay? So stop bringing it up, it’s just so stupid. What do you have against Iceland anyway? D2: The Mighty Ducks made them out to be villains and unfairly so in my opinion.

Okay? Anyway maybe Katie Miller could have just not complained that Twitter users were accusing her husband of “copping a feel” during their frantic escape from the White House Correspondents Association dinner on Saturday night. Or, barring that, maybe she could have just said “That’s ridiculous, Laura. Why the hell would you even bring that up?” when interrupted by instead of denying to Frau Ingraham that Katie’s husband used her as a human shield when he sensed danger.

Certain malign foreign interests might seize upon such moments. Maybe even ones subliminally promoting an agenda to increase tourism to a mysterious, ancient land filled with volcanic wonders…

“I hope voters remember this in the fall. You’ve gotta keep the grownups in charge, and that’s the Republicans,” said Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Monday on Newsmax in a 16-second clip by the man Aaron Rupar that’s a little too short to justify ripping to a YouTube video.

Statutory rapist musician-like performer Kid Rock on Monday got a free joyride in a US Army Apache helicopter courtesy of drunken date rapist Pete Hegseth, Drop Site’s Ryan Grim reports on the kind of shit DOGE was supposed to eliminate from the federal waste, fraud, and abuse budget.

Cole Allen, the jackass who took a train from California to stupidly try to rush into the White House Correspondents Association Dinner on Saturday night has been, per Politico’s Kyle Cheney, charged with Attempt to assassinate the president of the United States, Transportation of a firearm and/or ammunition in interstate commerce, and Discharge of a firearm during a crime of violence.

Huh. Didn’t know “Attempt to assassinate the president of the United States” was officially a crime and that it wasn’t already covered by “attempted murder of a public official” or something.

“Wow, Jimmy Kimmel, who is in no way funny as attested to by his terrible Television Ratings, made a statement on his Show that is really shocking. He showed a fake video of the First Lady, Melania, and our son, Barron, like they were actually sitting in his studio, listening to him speak, which they weren’t, and never would be. He then stated, ‘Our First Lady, Melania, is here. Look at Melania, so beautiful. Mrs Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.’ A day later a lunatic tried entering the ballroom of the White House Correspondents Dinner, loaded up with a shotgun, handgun, and many knives. He was there for a very obvious and sinister reason. I appreciate that so many people are incensed by Kimmel’s despicable call to violence, and normally would not be responsive to anything that he said but, this is something far beyond the pale. Jimmy Kimmel should be immediately fired by Disney and ABC,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, half-assedly trying to connect that joke – which was pretty funny because of fucking course Melania eagerly anticipates her freedom to be herself after her vile, philandering slob of a husband finally expires on his own, lol – to the lame, failed attack on him at the WHCA dinner Saturday night.

Also lol at “normally would not be responsive to anything that he said” about seven months after his minions got Kimmel temporarily fired for mocking Trump’s reaction to Charlie Kirk’s death. And it would still be a lie even with out that episode since the fat fuck posted “Stupid Jimmy Kimmel, who still hasn’t recovered from his horrendous performance and big ratings drop as Host of The Academy Awards, especially when he showed he suffered from TDS, commonly known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, to the entire World by reading on air my TRUTH about how bad a job he was doing that night, right before he stumbled through announcing the biggest award of all, ‘Picture of the Year,'” and blah blah blah back in 2024. Wasn’t Donald’s first anti-Kimmel rant either.

The only purpose of linking this article is to question if the baby girl is legally a US citizen or if Stephen Miller is going to order the DOJ to argue she’s technically a citizen of Delta Airlines and must be deported immediately, even if her parents appear to be natural-born citizens themselves.

“We extend our sincere thanks to the crew and medical volunteers on board who stepped in to provide care to a customer onboard prior to landing in Portland,” Delta spokeswoman Sabrina Cole told various outlets in a statement. “The health and safety of our customers is always our top priority, and we wish the family all the best,” she added, without elaborating on whether they will be sending the family a cleaning bill for the in-flight delivery that happened 30 min before landing.

Americans were shocked and horrified that a disturbed individual whose manifesto reads like a CNN.com article criticizing President Trump got within a few dozen feet of making it into the room at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner on Saturday night before he was tackled, arrested, and tossed in a jail cell ahead of what will likely be a life sentence. It’s just the latest in a series of a string of attempts on the president’s life by people suffering from a disease known as “TDS,” a terminal psychological condition that causes patients to engage in extreme outbursts of hateful rhetoric and actions in response to the President’s never-ending successes.

The only proper response to such threats is for Republicans in Congress to solidify their commitment to the president’s leadership on election integrity issues by eliminating the filibuster and passing the SAVE AMERICA Act. Doing so would be a strong signal of defiance against the radical leftists that would spread evil lies about President Trump raping young girls being held captive by Jeffrey Epstein. He barely even knew Epstein and the Wall Street Journal’s fake lies about the so-called “birthday letter” were exposed when Trump filed a $10 billion defamation lawsuit against them.

Enough delays. Pass the SAVE America Act now to protect the midterms. If the Democrat party gains power in Congress then they will inspire thousands of more attempts on his life through all of their biased rhetoric and allegations of corruption that they never cared about when Obama and Biden were president. America needs Republican leadership to continue to ensure the historic achievements from this president in bringing peace to the Middle East through strength last forever.

Without his leadership, Iran would have a nuclear weapon they could use to threaten Israel and gas prices could go up to $6 a gallon if the Green New Scam Democrats win. Abolish the filibuster.

Kimmel’s hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country. His monologue about my family isn’t comedy- his words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America.

People like Kimmel shouldn’t have the opportunity to enter our homes each evening to…

— First Lady Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) April 27, 2026

“Kimmel shouldn’t have the opportunity to enter our homes each evening to spread hate. A coward, Kimmel hides behind ABC because he knows the network will keep running cover to protect him.”

“Enough is enough. It is time for ABC to take a stand. How many times will ABC’s leadership enable Kimmel’s atrocious behavior at the expense of our community,” continued the unhappy wife of the man who five months ago called for six Congressional Democrats to be hanged. The comma at the end was added for lexical purposes here. Had the rhetorical question been properly punctuated with a question mark instead of a period then it would have been pasted in accordingly.

Heels-wearing Florida Gov Ron DeSantis on Monday unveiled a map projected to nuke four of the eight Dem-held Congressional districts in the Sunshine State, per Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman, who adds that it’s unlikely the GOP are actually going to win all 24 seats in November.

A $500 million yacht owned by sanctioned Russian oligarch Alexey Mordashov cruised through the Strait of Hormuz over the weekend, impeded by neither Iranian nor American military vessels and without paying the $2 million toll imposed by the Iranians too boot, NEXTA reports.

How and why US Navy personnel did not interdict such a vessel is not clear. But not surprising.

'COURAGE UNDER FIRE': @FBIDirectorKash praises President Trump’s leadership and announces a rapid, "above board" investigation into the recent tragic incident.

"We are prepared to tackle this investigation as we've done since it started," Patel says, noting that he and Acting AG… pic.twitter.com/ipn5fWSZBG

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) April 27, 2026

German Chancellor Friedrich Merz evidently stopped giving a shit what convicted felon President Trump thinks on Monday as he told a crowd of students that the “Iranians are obviously very skilled ⁠at negotiating, or rather, very skilful at not negotiating, letting the Americans travel to Islamabad ​and then leave again without any result,” Reuters reports from the town of Marsburg.

“An entire nation is being humiliated by the Iranian leadership, especially by these so-called Revolutionary Guards. And so I hope that this ends as quickly as possible,” Merz added as he nodded at German military history of a really ill-advised attack turning against a dictatorial leader.