New York put your MAGA hats on.

Under our constitutional rights, we WILL support President Trump and protest the tyrants.

I’ll see you on Tuesday.

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) March 31, 2023

If lithium were a public statement, it would resemble something like Ivanka Trump released Friday morning in a defense of her father so ardent, “some people” are comparing it to the slap of a wet noodle.

I love my father and I love my country.  Today, I am pained for both.  I appreciate the voices across the political spectrum expressing both concern and support.

With her husband securing a steady income from his Middle Eastern benefactors, Ivanka has little need to defend her father or his company to secure her future piddling inheritance and because she’s not an officer in the corporation–she resigned her position in 2017 when she moved into a White House office–she has limited criminal exposure in the scandal, unlike her brothers.

On the way to the DA’s office on Tuesday, Trump should smash some windows, rob a few shops and punch a cop.

He would be released IMMEDIATELY!

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) March 31, 2023

What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Between basically breaking down in tears on live television on Thursday and telling Trump to assault a cop we’re enjoying every minute of this breakdown and eagerly anticipate seeing much more of it and reporting it to our audience.

On Monday after it had been revealed that Nashville Covenant School shooter Audrey Hale identified as a man on his/her LinkedIn profile, we wrote that fanboys will “call it a product of ‘gender dysphoric’ mental illness but of course fall silent when asked to explain why that or any other psychological ailment shouldn’t prevent someone from buying two fucking AR-15s.”

Well it appears Ben Shapiro isn’t silent and would be happy to pry guns from the warm, not-dead hands of those whose “mental illnesses” automatically place them on their side of the perpetual culture war. You heard the not-really-a-man: “Gender dysphoria” should prevent someone from bearing arms, but not schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, drug addiction, paranoid delusions, or any other malaise that might drive a person to violence.

The son-in-law of an indicted alleged criminal and former White House senior advisor to said indictee Jared Kushner has secured more than $200 million in “investment” from powerful Middle Eastern oligarchs, adding to $2 billion it received from Saudi friends, the New York Times reports.

Although he had zero experience as a wealth manager or investment advisor, Kushner set up an investment fund after leaving his White House job and quickly secured massive investment from the Saudis.  Kushner claims the investment was independent of his advocacy for Saudi protection and his friendship with Mohammed bin Salman, the Saudi prince accused of ordering the murder and dismemberment of an American-based journalist.  The massive investment will generate at least $20 million in annual management fees for Kushner and his partners.

Tacopenis also told CBS News that Secret Service protocol disallows Donald from being put in handcuffs, but nothing is confirmed yet. Separately, a spokesperson for the Manhattan Criminal Court confirmed that Trump will be arraigned at 2:15 PM EDT on Tuesday, per CBS’s Graham Kates.

A producer for Tucker Carlson’s white nationalist propaganda hour quietly tried to disown his personal love of white nationalist propaganda after the Daily Dot saw his Twitter profile had a shit ton of likes for racist, transphobic, and other hate content and contacted him for comment.

Gregg Re, who has been with Carlson’s show since 2017, added “likes and RT’s are not endorsements. opinions my own,” in an apparent hasty attempt to walk back from liking tweets by Neo-Nazi outlet VDare and stories blaming Black people for crime. The DailyDot generously adds that journalists “have also been known to use the function as a value-neutral way of flagging and highlighting stories they’d like to go back to,” but heavily hints that is not the case here with Re.

If this blows up and Re ends up like his former coworker Blake Neff, a Tucker writer who was fired in July 2020 after he was found to have anonymously posting racist content on a blog, then we’ll just have to reuse the “Tucker Carlson show lead writer fired by Fox News for racist trolling, even though that was pretty much his job description” headline from that story – with minor adjustments.

The New York Young Republican Club – a pretty culty organization even for a party that is already culty as fuck, and the organizers of the particularly poorly-attended rally in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court early last week after the false start in the Trump indictment news cycle – issued this insane statement Thursday in response to their Orange God Emperor’s being charged:

“Today, our nation careens toward tyranny at an unprecedented pace. An impudent cabal of radical figures abandons all propriety in their dogged attacks on President Donald J Trump. We have taken a decisive step away from the values that define our national character. Every utterance that has escaped these monsters’ lips since President Trump first came down the escalator has built toward this moment, each falsehood, each misdirection, each deliberate misportrayal found its culmination in Alvin Bragg’s desperate action today. Radical leftist interests, beholden to an elite, internationalist cabal have taken the unprecedented step of indicting President Donald J Trump, the leading candidate for the 2024 presidential election. Every American feels today the solid grasp of the Fifth Column on his throat, henceforth, we must openly acknowledge what so many have long known: that control of our nation’s fate has long been prised from our grasp. Let anyone who celebrates this downfall of our republic be forever branded a traitor to our nation.”

“No one who mocks the people’s will can claim the title of an American. President Trump embodies the American people – our psyche from id to super-ego—as does no other figure, his soul is totally bonded with our core values and emotions, and he is our total and indisputable champion. This tremendous connection threatens the established order… Despite our tremendous success holding marquee protests in Manhattan for critical rightwing causes, today we remain at home. Let our silence be a condemnation of the captivity of our nation; a polemic on the state of our republic. We will not allow another Fedsurrection; we will not be pawns in the Deep State’s perpetual effort to delegitimize Americans’ fundamental right of assembly. President Trump assured us that he was our retribution. Now we must return the rejoinder: our victory will be the joint vindication that our great President Donald J Trump and our American people both deserve. This is Total War.”

On Friday the Manhattan District Attorney’s office sent another letter to Trump’s minions in the House GOP just to remind them of the devastating news and to once again fuck off:

“Yesterday, the District Attorney of New York County filed charges against Donald Trump for violations of New York law. The charges filed yesterday were brought by citizens of New York, doing their civic duty as members of a grand jury, who found probable cause to accuse Mr Trump of having committed crimes in New York. Like any other defendant, Mr Trump is entitled to challenge these charges in court and avail himself of all processes and protections that New York State’s robust criminal procedure affords. What neither Mr Trump nor Congress may do is interfere with the ordinary course of proceedings in New York State. Your first letter made an unprecedented request to the District Attorney for confidential information about the status of the state grand jury investigation-now indictment of Mr Trump. Your second letter asserts that, by failing to provide it, the District Attorney somehow failed to dispute your baseless and inflammatory allegations that our investigation is politically motivated. That conclusion is misleading and meritless.”

“We did not engage in a point-by-point rebuttal of your letter because our Office is legally constrained in how it publicly discusses pending criminal proceedings, as prosecutorial offices are across the country and as you well know. That secrecy is critical to protecting the privacy of the target of any criminal investigation as well as the integrity of the independent grand jury’s proceedings The charges contained in the indictment are merely allegations, and the defendant is presumed innocent unless and until proven guilty.”

Democrats want civil war.
They want to push us into reacting so they can use their weaponized government to lock us all up.
They know Trump did not break the law. They know more than anyone because they’ve been trying for years to find a way to put him in jail and they can’t.…

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) March 31, 2023

Don’t forget this is the scumbag who was pushing that “national divorce” bullshit repeatedly. She’s absolutely thrilled that there’s a fresh outrage to get the fanboys fired up for violence.

“On February 3, 2023, a train carrying hazardous materials derailed in East Palestine, Ohio. The derailment caused dozens of rail cars to collide into one another and fall over. Fire broke out and lasted for days. Residents of the town had to be evacuated from their homes. As a result of this incident, hazardous materials vented into the air and spilled onto the ground.”

“These substances contaminated local waterways and flowed miles downstream. EPA, along with other agencies, responded within hours of the incident to ensure the safety of public health and the environment. Plaintiff United States of America asks this Court to hold Defendants accountable for unlawfully polluting the nation’s waterways and to ensure it pays the full cost of the environmental cleanup,” says the introduction to the Justice Department’s complaint against Norfolk Southern.

After 17 winter storms and an 18th on the way, snowpack levels in California’s mountains are at the highest level ever recorded, putting a serious dent in the state’s years-long drought, Axios reports.

Knocked on his ass by Disney World’s not-really-stealthy escape from his imposition of control over their Reedy Creek municipal district, heels-wearing Florida Gov Ron DeSantis vowed Thursday there would be some secret way of getting revenge on them for outsmarting him, Insider reports.

“There’s a lot of little back and forth going on now with the state control,” DeSantis said to the crowd gathered at a gun range in Georgia for a stop on his not-yet-presidential campaign. “But rest assured – you ain’t seen nothing yet. There’s more to come in that regard.” Then his attorney general’s office sent Disney a letter demanding “documents discussing an intention or goal of circumventing, avoiding, frustrating, mitigating, or otherwise attempting” to outplay DeSantis and the Florida legislature. Again, this was all done publicly and Tiny D’s minions had no idea.

MSNBC reports that Juan Merchan, the New York County Superior Court judge who oversaw the criminal trial of the Trump Organization for financial fraud, will be the presiding judge in Donald Trump’s upcoming criminal trial for financial fraud.

With 16 years experience and knowledge about the finances of the Trump Organization, Merchan oversaw the case regarding the company’s manipulation of its properties values to lower tax liabilities or increase paper assets for loan applications.

This reaction rundown has been a long time coming. A very long time, so relish this unique moment of butthurt, defiance, anger, outrage, impotence, and everything in between from the fanboys.

“Go ahead. He still has my vote” – The current top comment on Breitbart’s Trump indictment article and, uh yeah, no shit. Was that ever going to be in question from a fucking Breitbart reader?

“Am I the only person that’s wondering how is this different from Bill Clinton paying $850K for what is supposedly the same thing? Both were trying to avoid a trial for something they denied doing. $850,000 in 1999 would have been worth $1,224,525.51 in 2016 due to inflation. Im wondering where the Clinton’s $850,000 might have come from?” – The current top comment on the Fox News article. Love how he at least nods to “Republican economic messaging” by throwing inflation in the mix here. Anyway, Clinton paid that to settle a sexual harassment lawsuit from Paula Jones. It was public, legal, and under the auspices of a court. It wasn’t paid for by taxpayers or campaign donors.

“Why is it so hard for some people, even here, to realize the Democrats cheated their way into defeating Trump in 2020? They have no morals from leadership down to their diehard voters (which don’t number 81 million)” – Top comment on marginally normal-ish site PowerLine Blog’s article.

Disgraced former President Trump and his minions at Mar-a-Lago were caught off guard Thursday by the Manhattan DA indicting his fat ass, especially after the Wednesday headfake that the grand jury was taking nearly a month off having them fooled into believing the bad news wasn’t coming until the end of next month – or never at all – the New York Times reports.

Maybe it’s whisky. Maybe it’s chardonnay. Maybe it’s an ugly, ugly cry on the fainting couch after hearing his man crush was indicted by a Manhattan grand jury, the first former president–also known as “a citizen” with the same rights as any other–to face criminal felony charges. (By the way, Lindsey getting booed by Hannity’s live audience is priceless.)

On Sean Hannity’s show, disgraced attorney and Fox sycophant Alan Dershowitz announces he’s suing disgraced attorney Michael Cohen for defamation for inferring Alan Dershowitz paid Jeffrey Epstein to have sex with trafficked underage girls.  Now, we’re not saying Alan Dershowitz paid Jeffrey Epstein to have sex with trafficked underage girls.  We can’t prove Alan Dershowitz paid Jeffrey Epstein to have sex with trafficked underage girls.  But Alan Dershowitz says he’s going to sue Michael Cohen for inferring Alan Dershowitz paid Jeffrey Epstein to have sex with trafficked underage girls.