“The coalition was set up to counter and reverse what George Soros and Harry Reid did back in 2004. And that’s what we’re doing. We started it last year, May 1 was our inaugural meeting, and we’ve had a lot of success. We’ve created a lot of momentum, and we’ve got some great candidates that are part of our coalition. And if we get elected, they know exactly what’s in for them – you know, their power. They’re going to be out of power. And that’s exactly what they know. And that’s why they are so afraid of what we’re doing. And my opponent knows that. And, you know, every opponent, the Democratic Party knows that. George Soros knows that. That’s why they’re dumping in all the money that they have, not only in my race, but Finchem in Arizona, Kristina in Michigan. Everywhere we have a candidate, they’re just dumping a massive amount of money because they know that they can’t win if we’re successful,” said Marchant.

To which Steve Bannon, who will probably die in a New York State prison, then replied “The game’s over. They actually kind of imply it in the article. I mean, actually, the Democrats are kind of saying that. That’s where, out to the donors, saying if these madmen win, the game’s up.”

A couple in Winnipeg, Manitoba were arrested Tuesday after they handed out THC-laced cannabis candy to Halloween trick or treaters, the CBC reports which sort of but not really at all vindicates all the “rainbow fentanyl” bullshit from right wing media in the United States.

More than a dozen packets of candies with names like “Medicated Nerds Rope” – a bootleg weed version of the Nerds Rope candy – were handed out to children between the ages of 6 and 16 in the Tuxedo neighborhood of Winnipeg, leading cops to arrest an unnamed 63 year-old man and a 53 year-old woman residing at a home at the south end of Coleraine Crescent following a search warrant. So now here we are with an incident of two stoners probably high off their asses getting their stash of pricey THC edibles mixed up with regular candy being publicized internationally, while domestically we still have zero reports of lethal opioids being intentionally distributed to children trick-or-treating on Halloween domestically like we were warned they would be.

The choice is simple: McMuffin is a leftwing Democrat pretending to be an independent to get elected. He will support Biden's radical agenda 100%. Mike Lee is a strong conservative who we can count on to push back against Biden's leftwing policies. He will always put Utah first! https://t.co/9p0zUImrG2

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) November 2, 2022

We’ll give the Trumps this one. “Evan McMuffin” sounds funny. Of course, Utah Independent Senate candidate Evan McMullin is not really a person we associate with McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches and to our knowledge does not own a franchise of the fast food giant or is known to be a regular customer. Donald Trump certainly is however, and his intimate familiarity with the McDonald’s menu is the most likely reason for this nickname. But it still sounds kind of funny.

Not as funny as “Gym Jordan,” “Faux News,” “Hitlery Clinton,” or “Cucker Carlson,” classics that both play on their given names and negative qualities they’re associated with. Our homegrown “Freedom Caucasians” for the House Freedom Caucus and “Allen Weaselberg” for Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg also have the advantage of being contextually-based wordplays. When we spell the names of Republicans wrong, like with Maryland governor candidate Dan Cox “Dan Cocks” and Texas Senator John Cornyn “John Cornhole” it’s merely for cheap and sophomoric laughs.

A new Monmouth University survey conducted entirely following the debate in which recovering stroke victim Dem Pennsylvania Lt Governor John Fetterman struggled badly but was kind of saved by rival Republican TV quack Doctor Mehmet Oz’s serious abortion fuckup finds Fetterman still leading 48 percent to 44 percent among likely voters in the Keystone State.

“The month-to-month shifts in support for Oz are not statistically significant. The overall trend suggests he has been chipping away with some voters who have not been completely comfortable with him, but that mainly happened prior to the debate. Fetterman’s performance may have had an impact on the margins but we don’t see any evidence of a wholesale shift in the race,” said Monmouth University Polling Institute egghead Patrick Murray.

Fascist MAGA lawyers John Eastman and Kenny Cheseboro in late December 2020 saw a direct appeal to extremist Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas as their last best hope to stop Congress’s certification of the 2020 election, according to emails obtained by Politico that were among those that last month a California federal judge ruled were subject to the crime-fraud exception to attorney-client privilege. The two assclowns also worried that having fat former President Trump sign knowingly false statements to a federal court would leave him criminally exposed, something that same federal judge, David Carter, agreed with in last month’s ruling.

“We want to frame things so that Thomas could be the one to issue some sort of stay or other circuit justice opinion saying Georgia is in legitimate doubt,” Chesebro wrote to Trump’s legal team on New Years Eve 2020, saying Thomas would be “our only chance to get a favorable judicial opinion by Jan. 6, which might hold up the Georgia count in Congress,” as they worked to get a last minute challenge case before Thomas, who has jurisdiction over cases originating in the Southeast.

“I think I agree with this,” Eastman replied. Separately Eastman feared having Trump sign onto the case, which they knew was complete bullshit, would leave all of them open to charges. “I have no doubt that an aggressive DA or US Atty someplace will go after both the President and his lawyers once all the dust settles,” Eastman wrote, before scrambling to find a notary to witness the signatures on New Year’s Eve. “Presidential trip to a UPS store?” Eastman wrote. They ended up finding one who witnessed over Zoom, per Politico’s Kyle Cheney, on what was pretty obviously deliberately leaked to him by the House January 6th Select Committee after Eastman asked them not to use the emails for their investigation while he appealed Carter’s ruling.

A jury in Colorado on Monday convicted former two-time Idaho governor candidate Steven Pankey in the December 1984 murder of 12 year old Jonelle Matthews, CBS News reports. It was Pankey’s second trial after a jury deadlocked on the charges in November 2021. Pankey, 71, who ran in the 2014 general election for Idaho governor under the Constitution Party ticket and then in 2018 placed fifth in the Republican gubernatorial primary, was sentenced to life with the possibility of parole after 20 years following the conviction. The right wing dumbass became a suspect in the murder in 2019 when he came forward and offered information in exchange for immunity after Jonelle’s body was found by a crew digging at an oil and gas drilling site in rural Weld County.

Jonelle, who was last seen when she was dropped off at home after performing at a Christmas concert, became the face of a national campaign led by the Reagan Administration to help find missing children, with her photo being among the first to be printed on milk cartons. Such an apparently sincere effort from the Republican Party now seems kind of quaint compared with the modern batfuckery of QAnon and their supposed core goal of exposing a secret child sex trafficking network run by Hillary Clinton and other Democrats that has now mostly taken a back seat to fantasies about aliens and JFK Jr and COVID vaccines turning people into bio-mechanical zombie robots and all sorts of other insane shit. Whatever it takes to ignore that yet again an actual convicted child rapist and murderer turns out to be a Conservative Republican.

Federal prosecutors investigating disgraced former President Trump’s theft of classified documents from the White House following his humiliating defeat to Joe Biden in the 2020 election are considering granting immunity to top minion and shitty children’s book author Kash Patel in exchange for his testimony, the Guardian reports. Since the great Mar-a-Lago raid on August 9th, Patel repeatedly publicly claimed that Donald had secretly declassified all the documents before he left office, only to plead the Fifth in testimony to a federal grand jury last month.

Now prosecutors seeking a court order to compel Patel’s testimony are considering asking a judge to grant him limited use immunity. And yeah this leak to the Guardian was definitely meant to send a message directly to Patel and here we are repeating it on National Zero. Awesome.

Also, what the hell’s with using Manhattan as the background? Neither of them are running to represent New York City and also would seem to think it’s a miserable leftist shithole.

Late Tuesday, a federal judge in Arizona cut through the bullshit of First and Second Amendment claims, banning the group Clean Elections USA from having armed members take photos or videos of people dropping off ballots at ballot boxes in the state, the New York Times reports.

During a lengthy hearing brought on by the League of Women Voters and other groups suing Clean Elections USA, a man from Mesa, Arizona told the court about how around ten armed box watchers intimidated them as they dropped their ballots off, saying they were “hunting mules” and photographing them and their vehicle.  The man’s photo was put out online, and Melanie Jennings, the founder of the group, exhibited the photo when she appeared on Steve Bannon’s podcast claiming he was a mule.  He, of course, is not.

“It is imperative we balance the defendants’ right to engage in First Amendment-protected activity with the plaintiffs’ right to act without intimidation or harassment,” said Judge Michael T. Liburdi, a Trump appointee. 

With oil companies enjoying record profits and the Kremlin flailing as its invasion of Ukraine bogs down, Russian propagandist and Trump advisor Laura Ingraham goes on a reality-free screed about Joe Biden wanting higher gas prices and picked a fight with Putin to accomplish this… ’cause suuuuurrrreeeee.

“Now let’s lay out some of the actual proof here,” she conjures.  “First, Biden wants gas prices to go higher.  He and the left agree Americans just use too much gasoline, so they’ve implemented a series of policies to drive gas prices higher.  Second, Biden knew–or should’ve known–that picking a fight with Russia would lead to even higher gas prices.  He picked a fight anyway, and now, he refuses to seek peace.

The government of South Korea ordered an air raid siren to be sounded on an island off its eastern shore when North Korea fired between three and ten missiles off its coast after its leaders said the United States and South Korea would “pay the most horrible price in history.”

According to Politico, South Korea’s military initially reported North Korea has fired three missiles off its eastern coast near Wonsan.  CBS News updated its report to say the salvo included “more than ten” missiles fired off the western and eastern coasts.  However many it was, after hearing the “horrible price” warning, officials worried one might be nuclear-tipped, prompting the shelter warning to residents of the island, located near the landing point of at least one missile.

North Korea is having a hissy fit over a series of joint military exercises the United States is conducting with South Korea, calling the exercises unneeded provocation, a characterization the White House challenged.  “We reject the notion that they serve as any sort of provocation. We have made clear that we have no hostile intent towards the DPRK and call on them to engage in serious and sustained diplomacy,” White House National Security Council spokesperson Adrienne Watson said.

First, they corrupted the proper noun “The Democratic Party” by changing the adjective to a noun.  Then they used George W. Bush and Donald Trump to massacre the language.  And now, Republicans present their New York gubernatorial nominee and Richie Rich cosplayer Lee Zeldin demanding better education because, he says, “when we’re spending two and a half times Florida, you should be gettin’ darn good better outcomes than what we’re seeing right now.”  It’s like they never availed themselves of the schools themselves.

Yeah, but Florida schools produce many Florida Men who do things like teabag alligators and run naked around a Chik-Fil-A.  And those low taxes in Florida resulted in more than 9,000 faculty vacancies–about 6%–throughout the state because nobody wants to work in Florida, the most expensive state in the Union.

Responsible for safeguarding members of Congress as well as the Capitol Complex, the Capitol Police security cameras caught David DePape breaking into Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s San Francisco home, but because no one watched the feeds overnight, they only saw it when they reviewed recordings from the cameras, the Washington Post reports.

The first image the officers saw of the scene when they checked live feeds of the scene were the flashing red and blue lights of the police cars responding to Paul Pelosi’s 9-1-1 call.  That’s as they ran through the 1,800 cameras they use to monitor the Capitol grounds and various other key places around DC and across the country.

Capitol Police had taken the feed from Pelosi’s San Francisco home out of “heavy rotation” in the video feeds because Pelosi was in Washington, DC.  Unless there’s a specific security threat, the unit reduces monitoring after the Speaker leaves the property.

In its closing argument, Thomas Barrack’s defense team wants the jury to simply dismiss the fact that the sovereign fund of the United Arab Emirates invested more than a third of a billion dollars in his company was just a coincidence and not a payment for influencing Donald Trump during the 2016 campaign and into the Trump administration.

Instead, according to Reuters, Barrack was just an honest businessman, not an undeclared foreign agent for the wealthy Arab nation, as prosecutors allege.  Barrack’s lawyers attempted to dismiss the two meetings their client had with the UAE’s National Security Director, including one on an isolated path where the two met while biking.

“The theory of the government is that they have come to some sort of supersecret spy agreement during this first meeting, and during the second meeting they’re going to firm it up,” lawyer Randall Jackson told the jury in federal court in Brooklyn.  “No one, if they want to have a serious discussion about an illegal arrangement with a 70-year-old man, says ‘Let’s do it on a bike ride.'”

Testimony in the criminal trial of the Trump Organization will resume next week after the first witness in the case tested positive for the coronavirus just after testifying in court, risking the spread of infection to everyone in the case, NBC News reports.

Jeffrey McConney, senior vice president and controller at the Donald Trump-owned alleged money laundering operation, testified Tuesday morning that Trump himself was aware of the frequent off-the-book payments being made by the company and that he approved of them.  At lunch after the morning session, McConney started to feel ill and coughing, the prosecutor’s office said.  He took a Covid test, which came out positive.

The state case alleges the company had a policy of compensating employees through off-the-books programs like having the company pay for a child or grandchild’s tuition or providing an apartment rent-free.  Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg has already pleaded guilty to 15 felonies and will testify against the company in this trial.  Interestingly, the Trump Org says Weisselberg is “on leave” from his job with the company, implying that he’s assured a job after his prison term, even though his testimony might convict the company.

Pelosi attacker David DePape’s friend and former boss Frank Ciccarelli tells the New York Times the hippie-turned-QAnon freak would not shut the hell up about MAGA conspiracy bullshit every time they talked about politics. “If you got him talking about politics, it was all over,” said Ciccarrelli.

“Because he really believed in the whole MAGA, ‘Pizzagate,’ stolen election – you know, all of it, all the way down the line. If you go to Fox News, if you go on the internet and you look at QAnon, you know, he had all these theories. He was completely caught up in the fantasy, in the MAGA fantasy.”

California QAnon freak and would-be Nancy Pelosi assassin David DePape on Tuesday pleaded not guilty to the state-level charges against him in the brutal Friday attack on the Speaker’s husband Paul Pelosi ABC affiliate KGO reports. A judge then ordered DePape held without bail.

DePape was in jail while attorney Adam Lipson entered the plea on his behalf on charges of attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, elder abuse, residential burglary, false imprisonment and threatening the life or serious bodily harm to a public official. DePape also faces federal charges of one count of assault of an immediate family member of a United States official with the intent to retaliate against the official on account of the performance of official duties, which carries a maximum sentence and one count of attempted kidnapping of a United States official on account of the performance of official duties. So in legal terms he’s pretty fucked.

Exit polls from Israel’s Tuesday election, its fifth in less than four years, found scumbag former Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu with a path to returning to power pending the formation of a governing coalition, the AP reports. There were indications however that a small Arab nationalist party may have won enough votes to block what would be the third “Bibi” administration.

“Today, the Supreme Court confirmed that the Constitution’s Speech or Debate Clause applies here. They also affirmed that Senator Graham ‘may return to the District Court’ if the District Attorney tries to ask questions about his constitutionally protected activities. The Senator’s legal team intends to engage with the District Attorney’s office on next steps to ensure respect for this constitutional immunity,” says confirmed bachelor Republican Senator Lindsey Graham in a statement following the Supreme Court upholding the Fulton County, Georgia grand jury’s subpoena to question him about his involvement in the failed Trump coup attempt in the state.

In September a district court judge ruled that “Senator Graham may be questioned about any alleged efforts to encourage Secretary Raffensperger or others to throw out ballots or otherwise alter Georgia’s election practices and procedures. Likewise, the grand jury may inquire into Senator Graham’s alleged communications and coordination with the Trump Campaign and its post-election efforts in Georgia, as well as into Senator Graham’s public statements related to Georgia’s 2020 elections,” which were the guardrails upheld by the Supreme Court on Tuesday.