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Urine trouble if you listen to this anti-vaxxer’s advice


Christopher Paul Key, the self-appointed leader of the “Vaccine Police” who has taken it upon himself to put governors implementing public health regulations under citizen’s arrest (which isn’t really a thing in most states), has told his 23,000 Telegram followers that drinking one’s own urine is an effective treatment to prevent coronavirus infection.  (Editor’s note:  It’s not.)

Key, who was released from jail over the weekend after being arrested for trespassing at a Whole Foods store in Birmingham, Alabama, routinely posts photos of him displaying an arsenal of weapons, including a flame thrower.

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Hospitals cut back on available beds due to staff burn-out, Covid

Hospitals around the United States are cutting back on the number of beds they can open up to patients, particularly to treat coronavirus patients, as doctors, nurses and other patient care professionals call in sick with coronavirus or even quit their jobs because they’re exhausted or burned out from the latest wave of coronavirus, or they’re infected themselves, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Massachusetts General in Boston reports 83 beds are vacant because the hospital doesn’t have the staff available to care for patients.  In Ohio, University Hospitals, its facilities have cut capacity by 16%.  Parkland Health & Hospital System in Dallas have dropped capacity by 3%.

Nearly 1,300 hospitals around the country have reported reaching critical staffing levels, meaning the facilities have hit or exceeded optimal staffing levels to effectively treat patients.  According to the Association of American Medical Colleges, which represents medical schools and teaching hospitals, between five and seven percent of hospital staff are absent from their jobs on any given day because they’ve tested positive for coronavirus.  “Those are big numbers when you’re talking about staffing a hospital,” anis Orlowski, the association’s chief health care officer, said.

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Orange Caesar puts “Senator” in quotes while ripping Brutus

“‘Senator’ Mike Rounds of the Great State of South Dakota just went woke on the Fraudulent Presidential Election of 2020. He made a statement this weekend on ABC Fake News, that despite massive evidence to the contrary, including much of it pouring in from Wisconsin, Georgia, Arizona, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and other states, he found the election to be ok – just fine. Is he crazy or just stupid? The numbers are conclusive, and the fraudulent and irregular votes are massive. The only reason he did this is because he got my endorsement and easily won his state in 2020, so now he thinks he has time, and those are the only ones, the weak, who will break away. Even though his election will not be coming up for 5 years, I will never endorse this jerk again. It’s RINOs like this that are allowing the Democrats to destroy our Nation… I hereby firmly pledge that he will never receive my Endorsement again!” shrieked the dethroned tyrant over Mike Rounds’s betrayal.

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Florida MAGA dumbass doesn’t get the “RINOs” don’t want to pass illegal worker enforcement bill because their donors don’t want it

Maybe it’s dawned on Florida state Rep Anthony Sabatini that it’s not the libtard activists secretly threatening to launch an all-out Antifa assault on his chamber’s leadership causing them to ignore his call for more regulation of businesses, maybe not. Either way, it’s a lesson in the imbalance of interest inherent to the right wing as it is today: Talk as much shit as you want about illegal immigrants, but when the Pool Installation King of Collier County, rated 4.7/5 stars on Yelp, and the Masonry Supply Tycoon, family owned and operated and serving the North Tampa Bay region for over 50 years, pick up the phone and tell you to shut the fuck up and stop threatening their livelihood with increased labor costs, well then you shut the fuck up. Money over MAGA, bro.

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RNC spokesworm says its “critical” that party pay Trump’s legal bills for cases that have absolutely nothing to do with campaigns

In response to a question about why a supposed billionaire needing over $1.6 million in GOP donor cash to pay legal bills for cases that have nothing to do with Trump’s presidency or campaigns, RNC Emma Vaughn spokeswoman told ABC News the party’s executive committee approved “certain legal expenses that related to politically motivated legal proceedings waged against President Trump,” because “as a leader of our party, defending President Trump and his record of achievement is critical to the GOP. It is entirely appropriate for the RNC to continue assisting in fighting back against the Democrats’ never ending witch hunt and attacks on him.”

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Capitol riot committee examines forged Trump win certifications

The House January 6th Select Committee has received copies of forged certificates of Trump wins in Michigan and Arizona that were sent to that National Archives in December 2020, Politico reports. This was something that kind of flew under the radar amid the chaotic post-election period between November 2020 and January 2021, but on December 14th, 2020, the state electoral college meeting day, MAGA dipshits in all six of the contested states – Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin – met to submit false EC votes for Trump.

Cops at the Michigan state capitol even had to turn away the Trump electors from going inside to award the state’s 15 EC votes to the Orange God Emperor. The Arizona group went as far to completely forge the Secretary of State’s letterhead in their submission, something Secretary Katie Hobbs spoke at length with to the Capitol riot committee and had referred to the state attorney general, per Politico. A liberal watchdog filed a criminal complaint with the Milwaukee DA over the Wisconsin scam, though there does not appear to have been any further action taken.

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Clay Aiken announces second bid for Congress

North Carolina recording artist Clay Aiken, runner-up in the 2003 season of singing competition American Idol, the 2012 season of Celebrity Apprentice (hosted by none other than the Orange God Emperor himself), and also a 2014 House election in his state’s 2nd Congressional District, has announced another campaign for the newly-drawn Charlotte-area 4th District to succeed retiring Dem David Price, NBC News reports. Per NBC, the district appears to be pretty safely drawn for Dems, so the real competition will be in the primary. In his announcement video, Aiken laments how the loudest voices in North Carolina politics are “white nationalists” and “homophobes” such as MAGA bro Congressman Madison Cawthorn and Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson.

“It’s not just North Carolina. There’s a Marjorie in Georgia and a Lauren in Colorado, and these folks are taking up all the oxygen in the room, and I’m going to tell you I am sick of it. As Democrats, we have got to get better about speaking up and using our voices, because those folks ain’t quieting down any time soon,” says Aiken. And damn, we were unaware Mark Robinson was such a fat bastard. We knew he hates Jews and gays, we just didn’t know he was morbidly obese.

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Anti-vaxxers pelt French lawmaker with trash and mud

Anti-vax protestors surrounded the Saint-Pierre and Miquelon home of Stephane Claireaux, a member of Parliament from French president Emmanuel Macron’s ruling party and slung mud and trash at him when he emerged over the weekend, Reuters reports.

“I am obviously going to launch a legal complaint. Some people think the right decisions are not being made. We are all receiving death threats by mail, at some moment this has to stop,” Claireaux said. Saint-Pierre and Miquelon is a French overseas territory off the coast of Newfoundland in the North Atlantic with a small population, meaning they’re likely to be mostly a bunch of hicks who despise anything that resembles government control over their freedoms.

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Seventy-five percent of Dakotas Senators now “RINOs”

Three of the four Republican United States Senators representing North and South Dakota are now “RINOs” hated by MAGA Land, coming off Sunday’s comments by South Dakota Junior Senator Mike Rounds on Trump’s still ongoing 2020 election tantrum. “As a part of our due diligence, we looked at over 60 different accusations made in multiple states,” rounds said on ABC’s This Week. “While there were some irregularities, there were none of the irregularities which would have risen to the point where they would have changed the vote outcome in a single state,” to which Steve Bannon posted on GETTR: “Mike Rounds is a disgrace to MAGA voters in South Dakota – he is a mouthpiece for Thune and McConnell and anti the Trump Movement and President Trump.”

Bannon of course is referring to Senate Minority Whip John Thune, the Republican Senior Senator from South Dakota, despised by the far right since December 2020 when he also fucked up and said Biden won fairly. Thune and Rounds’s neighbor to the north, Republican North Dakota Junior Senator Kevin Cramer is National Zero famous for the closely examined saga of the July 2021 heresy committed during a radio interview where Cramer told a caller that Ashli Babbitt was a criminal (by the way, to anyone who’s interested, The Gateway Pundit did actually report on that a day after we published that long analysis wondering why the MAGA media weren’t covering it).

That leaves North Dakota Senior Senator John Hoeven. His name has literally never once (until now, of course) appeared in a National Zero story, which is quite an accomplishment. We’ve published more stories about a Republican North Dakota state assemblyman sexually harassing a fellow Republican (while she was pregnant) than we have about one of the two United States Senators representing the vast, mostly empty state. Anyway, fuck John Hoeven. He sucks.

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Baby handed to US troops reunited with grandfather in Kabul


Little man Sohail Ahmadi, a fucking beast who has seen and been through more shit than ten grown candy-ass MAGA militia cosplayers, has been reunited with his grandfather in Kabul, Afghanistan, months after he was handed to US troops during the military’s chaotic withdrawal of the city in August, the Guardian reports. Sohail was found in the airport by a 29-year-old cab driver named Hamid Safi, who took care of him until a Reuters story featuring his relatives still in Kabul asking for information on his whereabouts was published in November. Hafi brought Sohail to the relatives, who are now looking to reunite him with his parents and siblings in the United States. Exactly how Sohail ended up with a random cab driver instead of on the evacuation flight to the US with his parents is not clear, but all’s well that ends well. Someone can always get fired for that later.

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Taco Bell subscription offers new way to really commit yourself to poor dietary habits

Taco Bell is offering a $10 per month subscription service, dubbed their “Taco Lover’s Pass“, for those who are interested in dying before they make it out of their sixties. Those who want to curtail their life-span through poor eating can begin the process by downloading the Taco Bell app and subscribing to their “Taco Lover’s Pass,” service. Individuals can then order items from the special “Taco Lovers,” menu, and as a bonus receive one free taco per day, up to thirty per month.

Taco Bell is just one of several stores that are using subscription services to draw customers into their stores on a regular basis, reports Axios. Vendors are betting that customers will come into the store to purchase their own free item, then load up on additional food items with each visit.

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Marco Rubio doesn’t actually deny he meant “Jews” when complaining about “upscale liberals who control the media”

On Wednesday Florida Senator Marco Rubio tweeted “The upscale liberals who control the media and Democrat party believe Jan 6th was another Pearl Harbor or 9/11… And the rest of America, including many Democrats, think they are nuts,” causing an understandable uproar because everyone knew who he meant. Again, this is a guy who invited the son of an actual Nazi, far right Chilean Presidential candidate Jose Kast (who ended up losing), to visit his office last month.

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Bronx apartment fire leaves at least 19 dead, many more injured

At least 19 people have been killed and many more injured as a fire ripped through a 19 story apartment building in the West Bronx on Sunday morning, the New York Post reports. At least 200 FDNY personnel responded to the five alarm fire at 333 E 181st St, likely to be the worst (excluding the 9/11 attacks) since the 1989 Happy Land club arson fire, which killed 89 and happened less than a mile away. “The impact of this fire is going to really bring a level of pain and despair in this city,” Mayor Eric Adams said at a press conference. “This is going to be one of the worst fires we have witnessed in the City of New York in modern times.” At least 32 of the 63 injured were described as “life threatening” injuries, an unknown number of whom jumped from the building.

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More than two dozen people rescued from wayward iceberg in Green Bay

A chunk of ice broke off from the shore along Green Bay, sending 27 people standing on it adrift on the water, forcing local authorities to launch a rescue effort as the berg floated to open water, the Associated Press reports.

The berg floated more than three-quarters of a mile as first responders evacuated the group, which had already drifted a quarter mile before rescuers from the local sheriff’s office and the US Coast Guard piloting airboats arrived.

Many of those rescued were ice fishing before the berg separated from the main ice formation, which may have been caused by a barge striking the ice.  Witnesses said the cracking of the ice sounded like a gunshot just before the ice floated free.

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Ukraine accuses Paul Manafort’s former employer of treason

Petro Poroshenko, a former employer of 2016 Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort has been accused of committing treason against the Ukraine. Poroshenko is accused of assisting Russian separatists to sell coal stolen from Ukrainian mines to help fund weapons purchases and military training for Russian separatists in the Ukraine.

Volodymyr Zelensky, the current President of Ukraine, defeated Poroshenko in a 2019 election. Poroshenko is accused of having coordinated the sales with the help of Viktor Medvedchuk, a close ally of the Kremlin who also has ties to defeated former President Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Hegseth COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY EXONERATED

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