The Capitol rioter previously most famous for getting turned in to the FBI because he bragged to a woman he met on dating app Bumble turns out to have been wanted on a charge of solicitation of a minor for nearly five years before he was arrested and imprisoned for three – until convicted felon President Trump sprung him from federal prison last week, the Houston Chronicle reports.

Texan Andrew Taake, 36, was hit in 2016 with a count of soliciting a person he “believed to be younger than seventeen years of age” with the expectation there would be sexual contact, a third degree felony punishable by up to 10 years in the joint. He dodged the law on that and for assaulting cops during the Capitol insurrection on January 6th, 2021 – until the dumb fuck bragged about it to a woman he matched and chatted with on Bumble. Taake told her he’d been hit with pepper spray close to the frontline between Capitol cops and sent her a selfie he took that day – which she passed along to the FBI who determined from footage that Taake had in fact attacked cops.

So yeah, Trump literally let a credibly accused pedophile out of prison without ordering the Bureau of Prisons staff to check if any of these scumbags had open warrants, which libs should absolutely hammer him just as MAGA did to Biden with their grotesque exploitation of Laken Riley’s death.

Still feeling confident that by Valentine’s Day someone’s going to die because of Trump freeing all these pieces of shit from federal prison. Well someone besides one of the rioters themselves.

Convicted felon President Trump on Monday told his loyal underlings in the House GOP that he’d like to deport repeat offender criminals, ship them off to other countries just like Castro did in 1980. The fat fuck also hinted at another run in 2028, tariffs on semiconductors (which will go great), and an executive order requiring the Defense Department build an “Iron Dome” for the United States.

“Senator Scott Wiener (D-San Francisco) introduced SB 222, the Affordable Insurance and Climate Recovery Act. SB 222 improves insurance affordability in California by shifting the burden of increased insurance costs away from California ratepayers to the fossil fuel companies driving the climate crisis, and makes victims of major climate disasters whole by allowing them to seek damages from fossil fuel companies in court. Major fossil fuel companies intentionally misled the public for decades about the impacts of their products, and now Californians are paying the price with devastating wildfires, mud slides, sea level rise, and skyrocketing insurance costs. When climate disasters strike, SB 222 allows homeowners and businesses to recover damages from the fossil fuel companies responsible for the disasters. The increasing frequency and severity of climate disasters has sent insurance prices skyrocketing across California and has pushed many families into the state’s insurer of last resort, the FAIR Plan,” says a statement on Wiener’s website

“When the costs of climate disasters grow too high, both private insurers and the FAIR Plan recover losses by charging higher prices on California policyholders. By allowing insurance companies and the FAIR Plan to recoup losses for major climate disasters from the fossil fuel companies responsible for the damage, SB 222 provides a major infusion of financial support to stabilize the insurance market and contain the high cost of insurance for Californians,” the statement continued.

The US Senate confirmed former Soros acolyte Scott Bessent as the next US Treasury Secretary, just going by the number of Dems that voted aye for him called so far in the tally via NTD.

An Indiana MAGA insurrectionist should’ve complied with police. Fox 32 Chicago reports 42 year-old Matthew Huttle was killed by a Jasper County Sheriff’s deputy during a traffic stop on Sunday, just six days after he was pardoned for four misdemeanors he’d been hit with for entering the Capitol during the January 6th, 2021 riot incited by convicted felon President Trump.

Huttle had done six months and was released last July. It’s not clear why he got a relatively stiff sentence on misdemeanors others had gotten probation for, but it might’ve had something to do with that he had accompanied his uncle, 64 year-old Dale Huttle, to the riot. Per the Justice Department, Uncle Dale had “approached the front of a crowd of rioters with a long wooden flagpole in hand. He wielded the flagpole at officers, striking at least two officers. Approximately 30 minutes later, he became involved in another altercation in which he appeared to grab an officer’s baton, as he yelled ‘Surrender!'” so yeah, he was convicted on felonies and now back out on the streets.

Further details of Matthew’s demise were unavailable, specifically whether he had pulled a gun on the deputy or tried to ram him with his car or if he got blasted while reaching for his registration. At the same time, Huttle was already out of the clink before Trump pardoned him and then this confrontation occurred. Both of those two data points are to say that the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex doesn’t have to be thanking Jesus that it’s Huttle on a slab and not a cop.

However it took all of SIX DAYS for one of these guys to fuck up. Are we even going to make it until Valentine’s Day before one of the rioters Trump freed from prison does straight up kill a cop or a white sorority girl or does something terrible that’s going to vindicate certain predictions?

“I don’t care if eggs cost $20/dozen, or if milk is $8/gallon, or if my coffee isn’t Colombian, or if I don’t get flowers for Valentine’s Day. These are all material things with work arounds. I care that my country is safe, and my children are safe. That’s priority number one,” posted Twitter user “Sarah Anderson 🇺🇸” on Sunday, not responding or linking to anything, though the context was obvious.

Now canonically a “MAGA Land” article here is supposed to be sourced from the top comment on a right wing news website’s article, or be a roundup of a bunch of them often interspersed with tweets from a few at least-medium-level significant elected Republicans/MAGA media influencers. Any asshole can tweet something and other websites over-rely on said assholes for a lot of their content.

So this wasn’t the easiest editorial decision, even if Anderson’s tweet is now up to 21,000+ likes, which is far, far, far more than any Disqus comment linked here has ever gotten. Would’ve preferred to find the same sentiment in a Fox News or Breitbart reader’s comment but no luck and this “I don’t care if eggs cost $20/dozen” shit is just too damn good to pass up. They already told us, loud and fucking clear, that this is the direction they were going to go in, that inflation was the worst crisis imaginable until it became an act of patriotic sacrifice. It’s just incredible how fast it happened.

“A lot of you folks are missing the point on this, when we remove 20 million + illegal aliens, prices will come down. Don’t get so caught up in the fake news agenda, I don’t actually think eggs will be $20/doz 😅,” Anderson wrote in a follow-up tweet. So she doesn’t think the sacrifice will be required.

It's just too PERFECT pic.twitter.com/wwzqVUpmLV

Selena Gomez breaks down in tears over @ICEgov's new era, barely audible as she laments deportations and says she feels helpless

"I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something, but I can't. I don't know what to do."

The pop singer and…

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) January 27, 2025

Far right extremist Oklahoma state Superintendent of Public Education Ryan Walters – the asshole who’s been trying to buy $5 million worth of Trump Bibles to put in public school classrooms – tells KOCO he’s excited to allow ICE agents onto campuses to round up children and will be supplying whatever information he can about which students are undocumented.

“When we pass this rule through, schools will comply. This is part of their accreditation, part of our accountability measures, they don’t get to pick and choose what laws they go by,” Walters said, adding “This is federal law. This is about securing the border, making sure we’re a law-and-order country, so Oklahoma schools will comply, we will be sure of that from the department of education.”

“Here in Oklahoma, we absolutely will work with President Trump, we will make sure he has the information he needs, any support on enforcing those policies we will happily assist as well,” Walters continued. Asked to address concerns from parents wondering if they should start putting their kids’ proof of citizenship in their backpacks, Walters said “We’re gonna require the information, we’re not gonna do anything like that to put citizens in concern, or that state, we’re gonna make sure they have everything they need, we’re crystal clear on what enforcement looks like… The left has stoked all these fears and lies of what these immigration laws look like.” This is as if it wasn’t Walters himself saying on camera to a local TV station that undocumented kids are going to be rounded up at schools based on information he’s handing over to federal immigration enforcement.

A Miami man who did not want to be named tells CBS News his wife, an illegal immigrant from Venezuela was arrested in an ICE raid on Sunday while she was awaiting a court date to process her application for citizenship, that “everything was good” until the stormtroopers came knocking.

“They just came and they snatched her,” the man told CBS, who writes he “told CBS News Miami that he wanted Mr Trump to let his wife stay in the US, as their 11th anniversary is on Friday.” The article then quotes his “message to the president” as if Trump is going to read this article. “If I get a chance to talk to you, man – please, man – let’s work something out. Let me keep my wife here in the United States. She deserves to be here,” the man said to the President of The United States.

“It’s despicable what they’re doing right now. It’s very embarrassing,” the man said to CBS Miami.

Just going to skip the part qualifying the rank speculation and press on here: The fact that the man wasn’t arrested himself very strongly indicates that he’s an American citizen and was sponsoring his wife’s green card application. Based off that near certainty, the wording of the man’s pleas, specifically the use of “embarrassing,” make it a near 100 percent chance that he himself voted for Trump. Only one week into the “new golden age” and this dude’s mired in the bargaining stage, finding out that “family-oriented” means nothing and his choice has actual consequences.

“They say men have dirty minds, but women are flipping the script with their Valentine’s Day gifts from Manly Man Co, makers of unique gifts for men. After combing through hundreds of hilarious, cheeky, and downright naughty messages engraved on their iconic Meat Cards, a fully customizable greeting card made of beef jerky, a trend has emerged: women might just be outpacing men in the risqué creativity department. The Meat Card lets customers put their thoughts and feelings – whether sweet, spicy, or completely unfiltered – on display. And when the team behind the scenes took a closer look at the submissions, one thing became clear: women are going all in on the humor and innuendo,” says a press release from the Manly Man Company. Fuuuuuuuuuuck, lol.

“Here’s a Sample of What Women Had to Say: ‘Hope you enjoy my meat in your mouth as much as I enjoy yours in mine,’ ‘This meat isn’t the only thing that’s getting jerked tonight,’ ‘Your meat is rare and well done, just like you.’ ‘I’m tender for your beef, always,’ ‘My favorite thing to chew on is still your meat,'” the press release continues and holy fuck this is as apparently real as it is stupid.

“‘We’ve always known our Meat Cards are a hit with couples, but we didn’t expect this level of witty, dirty fun. It turns out, when you give women a blank slate and a slab of jerky, they’re not afraid to get hilariously bold,'” says “Manly Man Company” founder Greg Murray promoting his meat-based gift cards ahead of Valentine’s Day. Thomas Ligotti was unavailable for comment.

Trump Regime officials want to hit Canada and Mexico with 25 percent tariffs starting Saturday, before any talks even start, to make sure America’s neighbors know the Orange Tyrant “serious” about forcing whatever concessions he thinks he can get from them, the Wall Street Journal reports.

“He’s as serious as a heart attack” about fucking shit up, said Republican Senator Kevin Cramer.

A presidential inauguration, a dinosaur highway, a canine “supa cop”—the latest issue of TIME for Kids, in classrooms today, has it all. Dive in: https://t.co/xF1ARqVK75 pic.twitter.com/JiE9GySNhx

— TIME for Kids (@timeforkids) January 27, 2025

Citing sources familiar, the Washington Post reports that “US Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials have been directed by Trump officials to aggressively ramp up the number of people they arrest, from a few hundred per day to at least 1,200 to 1,500, because the president has been disappointed with the results of his mass deportation campaign so far, according to four people with knowledge of the briefings. The quotas were outlined Saturday in a call with senior ICE officials, who were told that each of the agency’s field offices should make 75 arrests per day and managers would be held accountable for missing those targets.” Copied that verbatim as to not mince words about how thing were going inside the MAGA Reich over the weekend, that the fat fuck is suddenly feeling pressure to meet his own unrealistic promises of a massive roundup of migrants.

That’ll end great. No need to worry about ICE agents feeling the pressure to meet an arbitrary goal and haphazardly arresting American citizens who merely “look” like they’re illegal. It will all go very smoothly and there definitely won’t be any public backlash from any such mistakes.

Asked to comment for the article, White House Press Secretary Karoline “Blondi” Leavitt told the Post simply “your story is false,” without further explanation. Weird how she wouldn’t want to enthusiastically inform MAGAmericans that the Reich is ramping up immigration enforcement arrests.

The leader of antelopes for lions Arab Americans for Trump tells the Times of Israel Mr President we supported you because Joe Biden and Kamala Harris couldn’t stop Netanyahu from massacring tens of thousands of innocent people so please don’t make us look even worse than we already do.

“We categorically reject the president’s suggestion that the Palestinians in Gaza be moved, apparently forcefully, to either Egypt or Jordan,” said the collaborator group’s chairman Bishara Bahbah after the Orange God Emperor suggested deporting all Gazans to those countries.

“What the Palestinians need right now is a continuation of the ceasefire, more aid, a reconstruction plan and for the Palestinian Authority to take over the Gaza Strip. We don’t need wildish claims or statements relating to the fate of the Palestinians. The only resolution to the Israel-Palestine question is a two-state solution. Period,” Bahbah continued, that last part just downright sad.

The Times of Israel then writes that they printed Bahbah’s quotes and then a few hours later updated the story after “Sam Yono, an Iraqi-American community activist asserted” to them that Bahbah “only represents himself, not the Arab-Americans who worked with the Trump campaign in Michigan.” Meaning that the chairman of the group literally called “Arab Americans for Trump” somehow represents the pro-Trump part of the Arab community less “authentically” than a freelancer does. Even better: Yono’s Facebook page makes it pretty obvious he’s a Christian as his banner is the symbol of the Assyrian Catholic community, thus not a Muslim. Even better-er: “Asked for his thoughts on Trump’s comments regarding Gaza, Yono acknowledged that he wasn’t particularly familiar with the issue but that he trusted the president’s judgement,” the Times writes.

Usually you only hear that from Republican members of Congress getting when they’re trying to avoid reporters, not from some surrogate assigned to “debunk” a story in an angry phone call.

ABC, CBS, NBC spent over 46 minutes covering Trump Jan. 6 pardons, 3 minutes on Biden pardoning his family https://t.co/zEeyoFazqw

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 27, 2025

The Clay County, Florida Soil and Water Conservation Board is down a vice chair and the Sunshine State’s government is somehow sort of indirectly responsible, at least according to the pederast arrested last Friday. Action News Jax reports that the now-former Vice Chair, 30 year-old Harrison “Ted” Clark, who resigned late Saturday, had admitted his guilt immediately when cops confronted him in the parking lot where the elected Republican thought he was meeting a 14 year-old boy, telling officers he “had developed an interest in children through his pornography addiction. He also blamed the incident on recent legislation that made pornography in Florida harder to access.”

“PornHub ended its service in the state this month,” Action Jax then mentions in the article, as well as that Clark was pretty explicit in his chats with the “boy” he’d been excited to meet. “Hopefully not too old for ya,” he wrote after telling the not-14 year-old boy his age in a text conversation.

Clark is the son of Clay County School Board member Beth Clark, who doesn’t appear to be a Moms for Liberty jihadi. She’s definitely MAGA however, and pals with vile Congresswoman Kat Cammack.

“Two raccoons found in recent weeks at the William Floyd Estate tested positive for Canine Distemper Virus (CDV). Residents of the community near the William Floyd Estate in Mastic Beach are advised to avoid potential human and pet encounters with wildlife, including raccoons.”

“In late December, National Park Service staff observed two raccoons behaving uncharacteristically and also found dead raccoons on the estate grounds. The raccoons tested positive for canine distemper and negative for both rabies and avian influenza (bird flu). Canine distemper virus in raccoons is transmitted through close contact among their population and can spread to other predators including foxes and coyotes. Occasional, cyclic outbreaks can occur among raccoon populations. Raccoons exhibiting symptoms of distemper may approach people, be active during the daytime and appear lethargic or disoriented, stumbling or wandering about aimlessly.”

“Though aggressive behavior is not a symptom of distemper, any raccoon may become aggressive if it feels threatened. Persons who notice a raccoon exhibiting unusual behavior should not approach the animal. While canine distemper does not pose a threat to human health, it can be transmitted to dogs. Dogs not vaccinated for distemper are at risk for a potentially fatal disease. Persons who see a raccoon behaving in the manner described above or find a dead raccoon should notify the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation regional wildlife office at (631) 444-0310. The William Floyd Estate grounds are currently closed to the public. The estate grounds are open seasonally from May 1 until the Sunday after Thanksgiving,” says a National Park Service press release on some raccoon zombie shit going on in soon-to-be EPA Chief Lee Zeldin’s hometown.

Colombian President Gustavo Petro will on Sunday said his country’s military will not be allowing US planes permission to land to drop off deportees, Reuters reports on more leaders telling convicted felon President Trump to go fuck himself. “The US cannot treat Colombian migrants as criminals,” Petro tweeted, adding Washington needs to start treating “migrants with dignity.”

Petro might’ve been responding specifically to Brazil’s foreign ministry demanding an explanation after over the “degrading treatment” of Brazilians on a deportation flight. Deportees were left cuffed for hours without water, access to toilets, or air conditioning on the long-ass flight. “On the plane they didn’t give us water, we were tied hands and feet, they wouldn’t even let us go to the bathroom,” deportee Edgar Da Silva Moura told AFP. “It was very hot, some people fainted.”

UPDATE 1/26/2025 1:35 PM EST: Trump announced retribution on Truth Social, writing “I was just informed that two repatriation flights from the United States, with a large number of Illegal Criminals, were not allowed to land in Colombia. This order was given by Colombia’s Socialist President Gustavo Petro, who is already very unpopular amongst his people. Petro’s denial of these flights has jeopardized the National Security and Public Safety of the United States, so I have directed my Administration to immediately take the following urgent and decisive retaliatory measures:”

“Emergency 25 percent tariffs on all goods coming into the United States. In one week, the 25 percent tariffs will be raised to 50 percent. – A Travel Ban and immediate Visa Revocations on the Colombian Government Officials, and all Allies and Supporters. – Visa Sanctions on all Party Members, Family Members, and Supporters of the Colombian Government.”

Sitting for an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash on Sunday, a hungover Lindsey Graham first did a shitty job both-sidesing convicted felon President Trump’s pardon of every last Capitol rioter, trying and failing to make it about Joe Biden pardoning his family and Kamala Harris raising bail money for Antifa/BLM rioters back in 2020. Bash then asked him when there’s going be some action on the matter of egg prices, dodging by saying the border was a more important issue. Couldn’t get the entire clip, but after this Bash pointed out that a New York Times poll found that over twice as many Republican voters actually said prices were more important to them than the border, to which Lindsey kept going on about how mass deportations were the bigger issue.