Sources tell the New York Times that capitalist oligarch JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon is rooting for Vice President Kamala Harris to defeat convicted felon former President Trump next month, but is unwilling to say so publicly out of fear of retaliation from the Orange Hitler.

“Dimon isn’t making his stance known publicly because he’s fearful that if Mr Trump is victorious, he could retaliate against the people and companies who publicly opposed his run, his associates said. That’s a concern shared by other powerful corporate executives, and not without reason: Mr Trump has begun to increase threats of political retribution in recent weeks,” the Times writes.

Cat’s out of the bag now, Diamond Jim. Might as well just say it publicly – and he basically did last month when he debunked the fat fuck’s claim Jamie had endorsed him. Back in July the orange shitbag also denied he was considering Dimon for a cabinet position, blaming the fake news or some unnamed intern for it. Problem was that weeks earlier Trump literally said in an interview with Bloomberg that Dimon “is somebody that I would consider, sure,” for Treasury.

“A Canadian Walmart was closed for a third day Tuesday as police probe the death of a woman whose body was found inside an oven at the store. Halifax Nova Scotia Regional Police said in a release that they were called at 9:30 pm Saturday to the location, where the 19 year-old woman was found dead inside a walk-in oven in the bakery department,” says the lede to a Tuesday Hill story about a woman who was reportedly baked alive in the large industrial-scale oven.

Maybe it’s cynicism, maybe personal enmity toward them, maybe just a delusion, but it’s hard to escape the feeling that somebody extremely sick and disturbed at the other site deliberately chose to carry this story because it turned them on or something. Not trying to throw a rock from a glass house here, we swerve out of politics all the time and deliberately so to give both us and our audience a break from the grind of a perilous stretch and – even if that’s much more our brand than theirs – we would never hold it against The Hill if and when they do the same. Some dumb crime here or wacky escaped animal story there is totally cool for them to run.

But this- this is a real stretch. How the fuck does a political news aggregator justify this? What member of their audience is going to see this as a complement to the hard-hitting Beltway and Beyond coverage? We really have to question whether this pickup decision was the product of some editor’s sick sexual fetish, like there’s a latent Ted Bundy/Jeffrey Dahmer type revealing himself suddenly at that content mill. This is like psychiatric hold-level sickness.

The chair of the Republican Party in Lee County – yeah it’s named after Confederate General Robert E Lee, we checked – North Carolina was caught on video telling MAGA poll watchers that any voter with a Hispanic-sounding last name is to be considered “suspicious,” CBS News reports.

“If you’ve got folks that you, that were registered, and they’re missing information… and they were registered in the last 90 days before the election, and they’ve got Hispanic-sounding last names, that probably is, is a suspicious voter. It doesn’t mean they’re illegal. It just means they’re suspicious,” said Lee GOP Chair James Womack during the August Zoom poll watcher training.

Asked to explain himself, Womack told CBS News the “Hispanic-sounding last name certainly is not exclusive. We are trying to find every illegitimate voter and – and to challenge the ones that shouldn’t be voting.” He then added something about “mispronunciations” and misspellings of Latino or Arab names as a reason they could be flagged, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.

“Today’s virtual MAHA Town Hall has been canceled due to a change in President Trump’s schedule. President Trump, Robert F Kennedy Jr, and Tulsi Gabbard were eager to engage with you today to discuss the health crisis in our country and how we can tackle the chronic disease epidemic,” says a notice from convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign. Maybe not a coincidence this fell apart two days after Trump promoted a message of McDonald’s consumption. Could also be that the fatass appeared to fall asleep on camera again at that Latino cult event and needs a nap.

‘Russian fat Leonardo DiCaprio’ sent to fight at Ukraine front after weight gain spoils likeness to A-lister https://t.co/zUkV8Ccc0m pic.twitter.com/qE7qlzAf1d

— New York Post (@nypost) October 22, 2024

DC federal Judge Paul Friedman on Tuesday gave US Army officials until the end of the week to publicly release its records on convicted felon former President Trump’s disgraceful and illegal August 29th campaign stop at Arlington National Cemetery and the assault of an employee by his scumbag minions Justin Caporale and Michel Picard, the Military Times reports.

Probably not great timing. Even without the assault this was an extremely bad look for the fat fuck and he was lucky it fell by the wayside last month, overshadowed by his debate implosion.

Racist psychopath Laura “MAGAlyn Manson” Loomer has filed a defamation lawsuit against smug self-cocksucker Bill Maher for joking last month that she was in a sexual relationship with convicted felon former President Trump, TMZ reports. “I think maybe Laura Loomer’s in an arranged relationship to affect the election because she’s very close to Trump. She’s 31, looks like his type. We did an editorial here a few years ago … it was basically, who’s Trump fucking? Because I said, you know, it’s not nobody. He’s been a dog for too long, and it’s not Melania. I think we may have our answer this week. I think it might be Laura Loomer,” said Maher on his September 13th show as flagged by the complaint filed in a Sumter County, Florida (yes, that’s where The Villages is) court.

Hmmm… Since they can’t both lose we would see the best outcome as Loomer completely destroying Maher, whose show is canceled and he’s left destitute after Loomer wins everything he’s got and then one of no doubt dozens of potential defamation plaintiffs does the same to Loomer after she shit talks them. That’s the long game we’d love to see play out for both of them here.

Catch ALL the action visible from this station at the base of the legendary cog railway up to the summit of New Hampshire’s highest peak, Mount Washington. Interesting trivia: A cog railway train is like a regular train, but in addition to the wheels there’s a cog in the middle for extra traction!

Vice President Kamala Harris is heading to Houston for a campaign rally on Friday, the Texas Tribune reports on a curious stop in the Lone Star State during the final stretch before election day.

It’s the same day as convicted felon former President Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally in Manhattan so it kind of comes at the risk of making him look a little less stupid. Just because Harris is nearly certain to lose Texas by less than Trump is going to lose New York doesn’t make it more prudent. However Dem Congressman Colin Allred is trailing gremlin-faced Senator Ted Cruz by single digits, so if this is a joint rally then maybe it just might be worth Harris’s time.

In related news, Eminem will open for Barack Obama and Harris in Detroit on Tuesday, per TMZ.

Ninety-one year-old Cameroonian President Paul Biya threw his nation a curveball by appearing in public on Monday, having arrived in the capital’s airport from Switzerland, the BBC reports.

Folks had been starting to ask some questions during the six weeks since the last time Biya had been seen alive, even though publicly discussing the president’s health is a criminal offense in the West African nation, which probably helps his political longevity as the old man’s been in power since 1982. And to ditch the tedious sarcasm for a bit putting the BBC describing Biya as “looking visibly strong” and Switzerland together we would bet $20 Biya was there specifically for stem-cell treatments. Like we don’t even need to joke about him getting “adrenochrome” or some other QAnon-ish salve. Swiss stem cell treatments are popular with wealthy third-worlders these days.

If we had paper ballots hand-counted with citizen-only I.D. it would be at least 80% #Trump2024 https://t.co/1LGDZJ20t9

— Sidney Powell 🇺🇸 🗽⚖️🚜🇺🇸 Attorney & Author (@SidneyPowell1) October 22, 2024

Justice Department officials on Tuesday confirmed to CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane that they received the request that “review payments that are being made by the Elon Musk-founded America PAC to voters in Pennsylvania and other states that experts say raise serious questions under applicable law,” after Ketamine Brain promised $100 to voters who sign his stupid petition.

We probably shouldn’t be holding our breath for FBI agents to cuff Musk on stage, let alone a grand jury convening, but at least it’s something acknowledging they’re looking at the crime in progress.

“We write on behalf of our client, President Donald J Trump. On October 20, 2024, CBS News released a statement (the ‘October 20 Statement’) conceding that President Trump was accurate in his assertion that the 60 Minutes interview with Vice President Kamala Harris (the ‘Interview’), which aired in two different versions on October 5 and 6, 2024 broadcasts, was doctored in order to mislead the American People ahead of the Presidential Election. It is a matter of public record that ‘CBS cut portions of Harris’s answer to a question about the war in Gaza in its initial broadcast, but it later provided [an allegedly] full transcript of her remarks online.’ The open question is whether such posted transcript is original or whether it has also been doctored, edited, or manipulated in any way that is helpful to Kamala Harris’ failing campaign. The October 20 Statement clearly admits that edits were done in order to make Harris’ answers appear more ‘succinct,'” and we’re skipping ahead…

“We therefore demand that you immediately provide and publicly release the full, unedited transcript of the 60 Minutes Interview with Kamala Harris. Additionally, in contemplation of possible litigation, we demand that you preserve all communications and documents relating to this Interview, together with any edits of the Interview’s content, and that you refrain from destroying any relevant communications or documents. Kindly confirm receipt of this letter within 48 hours and further confirm your intention to cooperate with these demands. We appreciate your anticipated cooperation,” says a letter to CBS VP Gayle Sproul written by convicted felon former President Trump’s shitbag campaign lawyer Edward Paltzik that the fat bastard posted on Monday night.

Missing from this is what they’re going to do if CBS doesn’t comply with their demand for the transcript. Yes, “continue fucking whining publicly” is a given, but we mean legal recourse. What actual grounds will they pretend to have if they actually file a complaint over this?

In at least Arizona and Nevada the canvassers paid by edgelord billionaire Elon Musk to knock on doors for convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign are sharing the above video on how sit on their asses and play video games or whatever while collecting $30 an hour, per the Guardian.

A new CNBC/Generation Lab survey of voters aged 18 to 34 finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 60 to 40 percent in the age group, an improvement over the same pollster’s July finding of a 46 to 34 percent lead for Harris (with batshit idiot Robert F Kennedy Jr in third at 21 percent), and more importantly in line with President Joe Biden’s 60 to 40 percent win in the 18 to 39 age group in 2020, according to Pew Research’s after-action survey.

In related news, a Reuters/Ipsos national survey found Harris leading Trump 48 to 45 percent.

The alligator spotted swimming in the waters near Erie, Pennsylvania will probably die soon unless someone catches it and takes it to somewhere more hospitable to cold-blooded aquatic reptiles, the Erie Times News reports after having consulted with the Florida Department of Fish and Wildlife for an expert opinion that could have been found in a third grade science textbook.

“Alligators control their body temperature by basking in the sun or moving to areas with warmer or cooler air or water temperatures. Alligators are most active when temperatures are between 82 to 92 degrees Fahrenheit or 28 degrees to 33 degrees Celsius. They stop feeding when the ambient temperature drops below approximately 70 degrees Fahrenheit or 21 degrees Celsius, and they become dormant and enter brumation below 55 degrees Fahrenheit or 13 degrees Celsius,” wrote FLauren Claerbout, FWC public information coordinator in an email after being asked what might happen to the gator spotted in the second-smallest Great Lake several times since August.

It’s actually not impossible for the beast to survive the winter in the lake, even if the surface freezes, though it will take plenty of luck. The alligator will need to remain in a shallow area along the shore and its snout above the surface to continue breathing while it goes into a state of semi-torpor. It will also still need access to liquid water to stay hydrated. The local paper warns readers not to approach the alligator, even if it appears to be frozen, since it could wake up and attack.

Sources within the gilded Floridian redoubt of convicted felon former President Trump tell Politico Playbook that, despite some murmurs that he’s in the running for White House Chief of Staff should the fat fuck return to power, loser former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy is unlikely to get the nod because, per Playbook, Trump “remains vexed that the Californian didn’t make good on a promise to ‘expunge’ his twin impeachments,” which reportedly was the whole reason Donald didn’t intervene to save McCarthy last year when Matt Gaetz led a successful palace coup against him.

FCC approves transfer of 200 radio stations to Soros-funded company amid GOP concerns. https://t.co/CN1a6Non7n

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) October 22, 2024

“Vice President Kamala Harris has opened her largest lead, 19 points, against former President Donald Trump, and now leads 58-39 percent among likely voters, up from 55-42 percent in September. In a multi-candidate horserace, Harris leads Trump 54-37 percent, up from 52-40 percent last month, with four percent for the minor party candidates, according to a Siena College poll of New York State likely voters released today,” says Siena in a press release.

That Madison Square Garden rally this weekend tho… Anyway this is just slightly shy of Joe Biden’s 60 to 37 percent magin in the Empire State in 2020. It’s not that New York was ever going to flip but the movement is definitely good – less than six months ago Biden led Trump by just 46 to 37 percent in the May New York Siena poll – especially in a state that’s a House battleground. We’re of the frame of mind that Trump will (probably) improve on his popular vote share relative to 2020 but that it will come almost entirely from large, uncontested states like New York, California, and Texas.

“Moderate” Upstate New York Republican Congressman Marc Molinaro on Monday threw a fit because Dem North Carolina Congresswoman Kathy Manning won’t allow him to sign on as a co-sponsor of the “Right to Contraception Act,” accusing Manning of handing Molinaro’s opponent Josh Riley an attack line to portray him as anti-contraception, Axios reports.

Manning said Molinaro’s full of shit because he won’t sign a discharge petition for the bill. “Despite repeated invitations to my colleagues across the aisle, not a single House Republican has signed my petition,” said Manning in a statement. “If Congressman Molinaro is serious about safeguarding access to all FDA-approved birth control, the first step is clear: sign the petition.”