Categories
Uncategorized

Orange God Emperor discards vulnerable House GOP incumbent

“Based on a lack of support, in particular for the unbelievably successful TARIFFS imposed on Foreign Countries and Companies which has made America Richer, Stronger, Bigger, and Better than ever before, I am hereby WITHDRAWING my Endorsement of RINO Congressman Jeff Hurd, of Colorado’s 3rd District, and fully Endorsing Highly Respected Patriot, Hope Scheppelman, to take his place in Congress. Congressman Hurd is one of a small number of Legislators who have let me and our Country down. He is more interested in protecting Foreign Countries that have been ripping us off for decades than he is the United States of America. Taking back an Endorsement is a difficult decision for me. I have only done it once before, with a former Congressman named Mo Brooks, from Alabama, who was leading by 54 points after my Endorsement for US Senate, and then, he unexpectedly, for strictly political reasons, changed his views on the Rigged Election of 2020, and lost his Race in a Landslide to Katie Britt, who I Endorsed. These are the decisions that must be made, however, to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” posted the fat baby on Saturday.

Hurd voted for an anti-tariff resolution earlier this month because he’s vulnerable and the vote’s fucking meaningless now anyway because the Supreme Court ruled the tariffs illegal, lol.

Categories
Uncategorized

Anchorage Young Republicans chair likes them young: US Attorney

“The FBI arrested an Anchorage man today in Juneau after a federal grand jury in Alaska returned an indictment charging him with sex trafficking children, sexual exploitation of children-production of child pornography, coercion and enticement of children and receipt of child pornography.”

“According to public court documents, Craig Scott Valdez, 36, used the popular social media application Snapchat to identify, groom and entice juvenile females in Alaska for the purposes of sexual exploitation. The indictment charges this conduct in relation to one minor victim from an incident occurring in October 2025, but Valdez is believed to have victimized or attempted to victimize other juveniles in Anchorage and Juneau. Valdez is a current state employee working in Anchorage and Juneau,” says the Alaska US Attorney’s Office in a Friday statement.

Now to be fair, the DOJ press releases have always gone out of their way to avoid naming political figures and their parties and it’s no different these days – even if the department is going out of their way to be decidedly less balanced in which political figures they prosecute (or or incompetently attempt to) and which ones they don’t. Still, the “state employee” thing makes it sound like this asshole works on a highway construction crew or as an accountant for Fish and Wildlife Department.

Categories
Uncategorized

Hate the new 10 percent import tax? Well how about 15 percent?

“Based on a thorough, detailed, and complete review of the ridiculous, poorly written, and extraordinarily anti-American decision on Tariffs issued yesterday, after MANY months of contemplation, by the United States Supreme Court, please let this statement serve to represent that I, as President of the United States of America, will be, effective immediately, raising the 10 percent Worldwide Tariff on Countries, many of which have been ‘ripping’ the US off for decades, without retribution (until I came along!), to the fully allowed, and legally tested, 15 percent level.”

“During the next short number of months, the Trump Administration will determine and issue the new and legally permissible Tariffs, which will continue our extraordinarily successful process of Making America Great Again – GREATER THAN EVER BEFORE!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday. He did not specify if this means China will decrease its fentanyl exports by another 5 percent or if this means there will be 5 percent fewer deaths in armed conflicts or if 5 percent more bananas will be grown in the US or if the Heard and McDonald Islands penguins will produce 5 percent less of the $0.00 annual exports of various manufactured goods and raw fish.

Categories
Uncategorized

Newest Peruvian president basically the Latin American Roy Moore

Peruvian political experts tell the AFP there’s no guarantee that 83 year-old Jose Maria Balcazar, the country’s eighth president in 10 years, is going to be in office come the July 28th expiry of the current five-year term when an actually elected head of state will be sworn in a little under four years since Pedro Castillo, the last election winner, was removed and subsequently imprisoned.

Why? Well it turns out that Balcazar is basically the Latin American version of Roy Moore, the “ephebophile” former Alabama state Supreme Court justice whose 2017 special US Senate election campaign imploded and the seat flipped to Dem Doug Jones after it’d been revealed that Moore was all but criminally accused of being a prolific statutory rapist, allegedly to the point of being banned from a shopping mall in the 1970s. Now, although Balcazar’s never been accused of any similar conduct, in 2023, he told a congressional debate about ending child marriage that “early sexual relations aid a woman’s psychological future,” and voted against the ultimately-successful measure.

That right there’s a hell of a red flag. Also Balcazar was removed from the country’s Supreme Court in 2011 and then subsequently disbarred over unspecified corruption allegations, while Roy Moore was twice removed from the Alabama state Supreme Court for violating federal court orders to remove the Ten Commandments from the state rotunda and then defying the US Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriage. So yeah, Balcazar’s close enough to call him Peruvian Roy Moore.

He is not, however, in the Epstein files. A search of the DOJ’s database returns just two results for “Balcazar” and they’re simply copypasta of financial news stories mentioning “Pictet portfolio manager Andres Sanchez Balcazar” that some dickhead emailed to Dirty Jeff in October 2016.

Categories
Uncategorized

Surprise! Chavez-Deremer’s scumbag husband won’t be charged

You will not be surprised to learn that CBS News reports that despite his being banned from the building for sexually assaulting two US Labor Department staffers, Shawn Deremer, husband of similarly diseased Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-Deremer, is not facing charges as DC US Attorney Judge Box-o-Wine tells the network that “based upon the evidence presented to this office in relation to the video, there is no indication of a crime,” despite a DC Metro Police investigation.

“For my friends, everything. For my enemies, the law,” as the old saying goes.

Categories
Uncategorized

New Mexico Dem Party HQ hit with mini-Watergate

“We have some startling news – DPNM Headquarters was broken into and burglarized. Security footage from DPNM cameras and a nearby business showed that an individual smashed through the front door, entered the office, grabbed a handful of items, and then took off. Staff discovered the break-in upon showing up for work in the morning,” say New Mexico Dems in a Facebook post.

“Thank you for standing with us during this time. We’re still a little rattled, but it helps to know we have so many Democrats across New Mexico who have our backs. Whatever the motivation was, we have to repair the damage, clean up the mess, and help our team recover missing items.” We have to make some pretty significant repairs and help our team replace some stolen items. We’re still taking stock of the damage and inventorying the items in our office. Although this is scary, we’re glad no one was in the office at the time of the break in. We don’t know why this person broke into our office. In these times of heightened political rhetoric and activity, we can’t rule out that this might have been politically motivated,” the post continued and no, they shouldn’t rule it out.

Categories
Uncategorized

MAGA Land mopes through Unliberation Day

Unliberation Day is here! The penguins of the Heard and McDonald Islands have defeated America First thanks to the shameful turncoats on the US Supreme Court and fanboys were disconsolate:

“They hate Trump so much they would destroy the country in order not to win” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s article on the Supreme Court’s hatred of Trump. The butthurt gets worse.

“But other countries could impose tariffs on the US, but we can’t impose tariffs on them? What kind of justices do we have in the Supreme Court?” – Top comment on the Daily Caller’s article. Whoa, big if true. Maybe someone should get the Supreme Court to outlaw other countries’ tariffs.

“They’re never gonna let us have our country back. Not Congress, not courts, not the press” – Top comment on PJ Media’s article. Oh look, entitled white men posting angrily on the internet.

“How exactly does Congress act on tariffs in a manner that allows the Executive to respond in real-time to actions by hostile powers? Congress can’t (and won’t) move fast enough to catch a cold, other countries are laughing at us, knowing they can screw us over without consequence: One branch of our government sits on its hands, while another hamstrings the one branch left who was willing to stand up to them” – Top comment on Hot Air’s article. It’s almost like this asshole doesn’t believe any “national emergency” existed and is just upset that his Orange Jesus was humiliated.

“And at the fall of the Western Roman empire I can guarantee you that the politicians and rulers were so drunk on their self importance that every action they took only hastened the inevitable” – Top comment on Blaze Media’s article. It was actually accumulated lead poisoning that did them in.

Categories
Uncategorized

Hunter Mugabe charged with attempting to murder gardener

Deceased Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe’s troubled son Hunter Bellarmine Chatunga is in deep shit after cops in a suburb of Johannesburg, South Africa arrested him Thursday on suspicion of shooting a 23 year-old gardener employed by the Mugabe family on a property the own in the city, the Mail and Guardian reports. “Two men, aged 29 and 33, were taken in for questioning, including Mugabe, 29, who was formally arrested in connection with the incident. Police have not yet confirmed whether charges have been filed,” said Gauteng police spokesman Colonel Dimakatso Nevhuhulwi. “The motive for the shooting is unknown at this stage and investigations are underway.”

It’s not clear if Bellarmine is into crack cocaine, hookers, painting and Ukrainian energy companies.

Categories
Uncategorized

Jaydee uses his JD to lawsplain to Supreme subtards

“This is lawlessness from the Court, plain and simple. And its only effect will be to make it harder for the president to protect American industries and supply chain resiliency. President Trump has a wide range of other tariff powers and he will use them to defend American workers and advance this administration’s trade priorities,” continued the badly skull-width-to-height-ratioed subhuman.

Categories
Uncategorized

Ministry of Information urges media to remain loyal, patriotic

“On July 4, 2026, America will celebrate the 250th Anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. That revolutionary document set forth our founding principles – including Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness – and put America on a collision course with destiny.”

“Over the following centuries, the American story has defined modern history and spread freedom, opportunity, and prosperity across the globe. As America’s 250th anniversary approaches, it is important to reflect on the ideals and events that have defined our past while keeping an eye towards our country’s bright future. The White House is leading our national celebration of this historic event with the Salute to America 250 Task Force, which calls on the federal government, among others, to mark this momentous occasion. As part of this effort, I am calling on broadcasters to pledge to provide programming that promotes civic education, national pride, and our shared history,” said involuntarily celibate Minister of Information Brendan Carr in a statement on Friday.

Categories
Uncategorized

Orange Fuhrer claims he’s got workaround ready

“To show you how ridiculous the opinion is, the Court said that I’m not allowed to charge even $1 DOLLAR to any Country under IEEPA, I assume to protect other Countries, not the United States which they should be interested in protecting — But I am allowed to cut off any and all Trade or Business with that same Country, even imposing a Foreign Country destroying embargo, and do anything else I want to do to them – How nonsensical is that? They are saying that I have the absolute right to license, but not the right to charge a license fee. What license has ever been issued without the right to charge a fee? But now the Court has given me the unquestioned right to ban all sorts of things from coming into our Country, a much more powerful Right than many people thought we had,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday and he went on for a while…

Skipping to the end: “Therefore, effective immediately, all National Security TARIFFS, Section 232 and existing Section 301 TARIFFS, remain in place, and in full force and effect. Today I will sign an Order to impose a 10 percent GLOBAL TARIFF, under Section 122, over and above our normal TARIFFS already being charged, and we are also initiating several Section 301 and other Investigations to protect our Country from unfair Trading practices,” and here come the lawsuits.

Categories
Uncategorized

Ruh-roh, Trump holding live presser after Supreme Court loss

Hoooooo-boy. This might be one for the ages. His handlers no doubt have already clocked out and treating themselves to blue curacao-infused margaritas at a nearby Applebee’s. Probably nagging the bartender to either mute the TV or at least change it to ESPN 2. Anything’s better than having to watch him have a fucking epic tantrum in front of a worldwide audience after two of his Supreme Court justices just told him that his ridiculous bullshit tariffs were unlawfully imposed.

Categories
Uncategorized

Dems facing lawsuit because gay Trump fan can’t get laid

“Any of you feel like sueing [sic] the Dems for dividing gays? Read the personals ‘no Trumpers, if you’re Republican don’t write me !’ I think we have some class action or some case here, but I’m no lawyer! I’ve lost family and friends from all their hateful dividing and constant Trump bashing…”

“It seems like a winning case to me. It affects our free speech, and more! If we even mention our political views, we are tossed aside immediately and called Traitors! We should do something to help this narrow minded Democratic anti Trump view from being the only view of our people! Anyone agree?” writes an anonymized gay Trump supporter on a Facebook page called “Conservative Gay Singles Group” and picked up by BlueSky user Steve Jones this week.

It’s not clear which if any MAGA-aligned law firm is drafting a complaint for the aggrieved man.

Categories
Uncategorized

Taco Bell bets “street” a the right adjective to add to new product

“Taco Bell’s Chicken Bacon Ranch Street Chalupas reimagine the ultimate comfort trifecta with street‑style energy – a hit of nostalgia that’s anything but rehashed. Giving Chicken Bacon Ranch the full Taco Bell treatment, it tucks slow-roasted chicken, crispy bacon, and creamy avocado ranch into a toasted cheddar Street Chalupa shell, delivering a crave-crushing street taco built on a flavor pairing that needs no introduction,” says a Taco Bell press release issued Thursday.

“Known for reinventing familiar flavors through unexpected formats, Taco Bell pairs the beloved Chicken Bacon Ranch combo with one of its best-selling innovations, Cheesy Street Chalupas, a format that cements its cult following with every return. The result: comfort food nostalgia, with a bold, modern twist that only Taco Bell could deliver,” the release continued emphasizing the “street” aspect that seems kind of dicey at best. Possibly even within range of “bus station restroom floor chaulpas.” They really think this play for “authenticity” is the right call given their reputation?

Categories
Uncategorized

Republicans hold 34 to 25 percent lead over Dems as party more likely to try to rig midterm elections: Yahoo News/YouGov poll

A new national Yahoo News/YouGov survey finds Republicans with a sizable 34 to 25 percent lead over Dems among overall respondents on the question of “Who do you think is more likely to try to rig November’s midterm elections?” with another 17 percent unsure which party would rig it. The remaining 23 percent had said either no or not sure to the previous question of whether the midterms would be rigged. On that question, at 35 percent each, more Dem and Independent respondents than Republicans, 27 percent, expect fuckery before, during, or after the big day.

Also matched down in the crosstabs was the 63 percent of Dem respondents who think Republicans are more likely to try to rig the elections and the same percentage of self-identified “MAGA Supporters” who think Democrats will attempt it. Twice as many Republican respondents, 12 percent, think their own party will rig the contests, than Dem respondents said the same. Shame that YouGov didn’t drill down further and ask those partisans whether they actually wanted their respective parties to cheat, even though you can probably already guess who wants it more.

Categories
Uncategorized

“Backup plan”

It wasn’t caught on camera because convicted felon President Trump kicked reporters out of the room where he’s hosting the nation’s governors for the annual breakfast meeting, but someone leaked to CNN’s Kaitlan Collins that the fat bastard learned of his defeat at Los Supremos while speaking and called the ruling a “disgrace,” and per Collins, told the govs he has a “backup plan.”

Problem is that the majority appear to have anticipated Donald trying to find some kind of workaround with a different statute, writing “There is no exception to the major questions doctrine for emergency statutes. Nor does the fact that tariffs implicate foreign affairs render the doctrine inapplicable. The Framers gave ‘Congress alone’ the power to impose tariffs during peacetime. And the foreign affairs implications of tariffs do not make it any more likely that Congress would relinquish its tariff power through vague language, or without careful limits. Accordingly, the President must ‘point to clear congressional authorization’ to justify,” mooting any such backup.

Categories
Uncategorized

Senator M4M demands Congress undo Supreme Court ruling

Continued after the cutoff: “Now globalists [Jews] win, factories investments may reverse, and American workers lose again. This betrayal must be reversed and Republicans must get to work immediately on a reconciliation bill to codify the tariffs that had made our country the hottest country on earth!” and Jesus Christ what an impulsive and intemperate fucking manchild, lol.

In what freaking universe are Republicans going to want to put their names on restoring a regressive tax on American consumers that hung over them like a political albatross for nearly a year? How incompetent of a politician can one be to throw a tantrum over the end of an unpopular policy in what was already going to be a bad election year and also propose restoring it without a second thought to actually counting the votes which it would not ever have to pass? Holy shit, Moreno could actually be a worse look for Ohio voters than the guy caught sniffing his daughter or niece’s panties.

Categories
Uncategorized

Supreme Court nukes Trump’s tariffs

The US Supreme Court on Friday dropped the widely-expected ruling finding 6 to 3 that convicted felon President Trump’s moronic tariff regime against the Heard and McDonald Islands – not to mention pretty much every other nation and territory on the planet – was illegally implemented under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act or IEEPA. Far-right Justices Clarence Thomas, Seditious Sam Alito, and Beer-me Brett Kavanaugh dissented because they ❤️ Donald.

“IEEPA does not authorize the President to impose tariffs. The judgment in No 24–1287 is vacated, and the case is remanded with instructions to dismiss for lack of jurisdiction; the judgment in No 25–250 is affirmed,” wrote Chief Justice John Roberts in the majority opinion that might sting a little.

“The ‘Pay Back’ Numbers being quoted by the Radical Left Lunatics, who would love to see us lose on Tariffs because of how bad it would be for our Country, are much higher than those being stated by our Fake Opposition – Opposition mainly from Foreign Countries that would do anything to be allowed to charge us Tariffs without retribution. The actual Number we would have to pay back in Tariff Revenue and Investments would be in excess of $2 Trillion Dollars, and that, in itself, would be a National Security catastrophe. Those opposed to us in the United States Supreme Court are giving low Numbers so that the Court will think it is easy to get out of this terrible situation that these Anarchists and Thugs have put us into!” screamed Trump in November in just one of the very many Truth Social screeds anticipating the defeat and the expected mess of clawbacks from companies.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

The words “Biden” and “Buttigieg” absent from Spirit’s bankruptcy

2 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump another day closer to death

4 hours ago

Cranky old asshole a little late on the “fact check” on ABC News

6 hours ago

Orange Ayatollah threatening to wipe Iran out again

7 hours ago

May 4th tradition of cringey desecration continues apace

8 hours ago

Supreme Court unblocks abortion drug availability

9 hours ago

Senate GOP members drafting war authorization act

10 hours ago

RonAnon threatens Americans with a good time

11 hours ago

Regime official says Trump getting bored, “wants action” in Strait

12 hours ago

Dems add eight seats to House target map

12 hours ago

“Trump Disappointment Syndrome”

13 hours ago

RUDY WATCH: Apparently still alive for now

14 hours ago

Fat idiot demands Hakeem Jeffries be impeached

1 day ago

Zero dead after incompetent suicide bomber attacks Portland gym

1 day ago

Todd Blanche claims he’s got other evidence on Comey, lol

1 day ago

Big Oil a big no on Trump commands to “Drill, Baby, Drill”

1 day ago

Orange King Lear hallucinates more spectres

2 days ago

Missouri Domino’s guy hits non-tipping customer with car

2 days ago

Oxycontin maker ODs on bankruptcy

2 days ago

President advertises his mastery at card game for first graders

2 days ago

Spirit Airlines officially shuts down

3 days ago

More than half of Daily Wire staff laid off

3 days ago

Orange Allah anoints McConnell successor

3 days ago

The Villages hosts their idiot: Live Video

3 days ago

Fourteen IRGC troops dead from an “explosion of bomb remnants”

3 days ago

Pew pollsters pew-pew presidential-proval

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE-ish: Grandpa rambles to reporters aimlessly

3 days ago

Camp Mystic not reopening this summer

3 days ago

The Spirit of ’26: WSJ reports airline dead after Trump rug pull

3 days ago

Self-backed into a corner, Buddy Carter blames gas prices on Dems

3 days ago

Louisiana Dem sues to block Landry gerrymander speedrun

3 days ago

Whistleblower says what you already guessed about SPLC case

3 days ago

“Lib terrorists did it” trending in unfurnished basements nationwide

3 days ago

Iranians digging into missile reserves more literally than you think

3 days ago

Kemp not trying to redraw Georgia map before November

3 days ago

RonAnon encourages fans to make their vote count in mentally ill colleague’s non-binding Twitter poll that bots can click yes on

4 days ago

Todd Blanche dusted off “8647” case to earn formal AG nod

4 days ago

FEMA rehires 14 signatories of “Katrina declaration”

4 days ago

Scott Jennings snaps “get your fucking hand out of my face”

4 days ago

DOGEcels exposed healthcare providers’ Social Security numbers

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Faithful disciples surround Orange Jesus with love

4 days ago

Stereotypical boomer hell bent on pulling the ladder up behind him

4 days ago

White collar criminal brimming with tiresome personal insecurities

4 days ago

Large animatronic dinosaur fire claims large animatronic dinosaur

4 days ago

Orange Felon pulls plug on shitbrained quack surgeon general pick

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Drunken Fox News washout suffers more indignities

4 days ago

Big Rotisserie subverts democracy

4 days ago

President declares the American people “angry” with “seriously unfunny” Jimmy Kimmel, stresses urgency for ABC to fire him

4 days ago

Maine Gov Janet Mills drops Senate campaign

4 days ago

Steve Scalise’s gas price narrative could use some work

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x