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Rudy fired from radio job

Rudy Giuliani has been fired from hosting his stupid AM radio show on NYC-based right wing talk station 770 WABC for violating election denial policy, the Huffington Post’s Yashar Ali reports.

Interesting how lying about the 2020 election has gotten the alcoholic shitbrain indicted on felonies in two separate jurisdictions, nearly disbarred, and hit with an $148 million defamation judgment, so you think that maybe he would have stopped by now but now he’s fired too… Well technically “suspended” but 770 AM owner John Catsamatidis cancelled his weekday and Saturday shows.

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Swing state Republicans starting to get nervous with Trump

Republican campaign staffers in swing states tell the Washington Post they’re starting to get pretty nervous about fat former President Trump’s lack of any actual effort to build out infrastructure in the places he actually needs to win the Electoral College, and apparently don’t realize yet that little if any such efforts are forthcoming from Team Orange and the newly extra-Trumpfied RNC.

“In order to win close elections in Georgia, you have to have a ground game that emphasizes turning out early votes and absentee votes,” said Cody Hall, senior adviser to Gov Brian Kemp. “I have seen no evidence of them having any of that. The Trump campaign has a consultant in Georgia, but there is nothing else that I can see… Everyone is generally concerned.” Arizona GOP operative Kim Owens says there’s “no sign of life. Especially in a state that Trump lost so closely last time, you’d expect to have more of a presence. I would think, ‘Let’s step it up.’ I think it’s a terrible mistake.”

The plan, laid out over a few dozen paragraphs, is to literally just let Trump motivate his fans to vote for him by holding campaign rallies and putting out ads, leaving the state GOPs and outside groups like Charlie Kirk’s Turning Point USA to figure out the nuts and bolts of turnout efforts. Donald himself is the mastermind of it, wanting all the resources for traditional street-level campaigning to go to “election integrity,” confident that he can coast to victory just by being himself.

Not much else to add here, just to say let’s see how that ends up shaking out for the fat bastard.

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House Ethics finds probable cause that Troy Nehls fucked around

The House Ethics Committee on Friday issued a report stating far right Texas MAGA Congressman Troy Nehls – the cigar smoking twat who said he wanted to impeach Biden to help fat former President Trump win in 2024 – had “reported campaign disbursements that may not be legitimate and verifiable campaign expenditures attributable to bona fide campaign or political purposes.”

“If Nehls converted campaign funds from Nehls for Congress to personal use, or if Nehls’s campaign committee expended funds that were not attributable to bona fide campaign or political purposes, then Nehls may have violated House rules, standards of conduct, and federal law. Nehls may have omitted required information from his annual House financial disclosure statements. If Nehls failed to disclose required information in his annual House financial disclosure statements, then he may have violated House rules, standards of conduct, and federal law. RECOMMENDATION: The Board recommends that the Committee further review the above allegation concerning Nehls because there is probable cause to believe that Nehls may have converted campaign committee funds to personal use,” the report continued, indicating that the asshole just might be in trouble.

Fun fact: Nehls voted against expelling George Santos, saying at the time he didn’t want the House GOP to lose another vote. Not that we necessarily disbelieve that, but now we’re thinking there just might be some consciousness of guilt on Nehls’s part going into that decision too.

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Traveling carnival operator charged with human exploitation

“The owner of a traveling carnival business was charged May 7 with multiple crimes tied to an alleged scheme to exploit foreign workers following an investigation conducted by Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) Houston, the Department of State’s Diplomatic Security Service and the Department of Labor’s Office of Inspector General. Angel Reyes Isidro aka Lucas Isidro Reyes, a 41-year-old Mexican national residing in the United States, was charged in the US District Court for the Southern District of Texas with visa fraud, fraud in foreign labor contracting, making false statements and mail fraud. The indictment alleges Reyes, who operated and managed J&G Concessions LLC in Houston, submitted falsified temporary employment applications to the United States in 2019 to obtain H-2B visas for foreign seasonal workers. Upon the workers’ arrival, Reyes allegedly charged them illegal fees, paid them substandard wages, and made threats of deportation and loss of future employment opportunities to cause them to work despite horrible conditions.”

“From 2022 to the time of his arrest on April 28, 2024, Reyes allegedly continued to operate his carnival business with unauthorized workers. During the hearing, the court heard that Reyes poses a serious flight risk and is a danger to the community. The court further heard that Reyes possesses a firearm that he allegedly used to threaten workers, that he allegedly sexually harassed women temporary workers and assaulted one of them, and also threatened and retaliated against the victimized workers,” says a Department of Homeland Security press release that does not mention if any of the victims were Lizard Boy or a bearded lady or anything like that.

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Former Trump lawyer’s CNN bit could’ve gone better

Former Trump lawyer William Brennan, who we can’t even remember which friggin case he worked or anything else except to say that he’s not one of the ones who’s since turned against the fat bastard and shit talks him on cable news now, wasn’t the most consistent or intellectually honest in gaming out how Stormy Daniels’ testimony landed with the jury on CNN on Friday, with female hosts Dana Bash and Kasie Hunt taking turns in pointing out his contradictions and misogynist bullshit.

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New Florida poll finds abortion measure support at 61 percent

A new Florida Chamber of Commerce survey finds 61 percent of respondent in the Sunshine State are in favor of Amendment 4 to enshrine the right to abortion in the state constitution, with another 10 percent undecided and the remaining 29 percent opposed. The threshold for a ballot measure in Florida is 60 percent, not 50 like in most other states, so this is obviously going to be very tight.

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Federal appeals court upholds Steve Bannon’s DC conviction

White nationalist alcoholic Steve Bannon is finally much closer to the four-month stay at a federal prison that he’s put off for almost two years now as the DC Circuit Court of Appeals on Friday upheld Bannon’s 2022 conviction on contempt of Congress charges for fucking off on a 2021 subpoena from the House January 6th Select Committee, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports. It’s still not clear when Bannon will actually join fellow former Trump White House scumbag Peter Navarro, who inexplicably at this very moment is nearly halfway done serving the very same sentence for the very same crime of blowing off a subpoena from the very same committee as Scumbag Steve still has en banc and then the Supreme Court to appeal to but it does not appear that the stay remains in place.

Bannon’s also got bigger problems in Manhattan, where none other than Judge Juan Merchan last month told the triple-shirted Nazi to get ready to face justice for the wall scam in September.

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House GOP now want to impeach Biden over withheld Israel aid

Well the whole “Biden crime family” scam fell apart due to James Comer’s incompetence and lack of real evidence so might as well try to make this hold on aid to Israel to try to get them to stop killing innocent Palestinians with malevolent abandon just as bad as when Trump withheld military aid to Ukraine to try to get them to announce an investigation into Joe and Hunter Biden.

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American crocodile back after a while

It’s been a while, but the American crocodile is making a big comeback in Florida, with a biologist employed by Florida Power and Light telling CBS Miami that the utility’s canal system outside the Turkey Point nuclear plant have been providing an excellent habitat for the vicious aquatic reptiles to recover their numbers to nearly 2,000 after dipping to the low hundreds in the 1970s.

Maybe the lead should’ve been that potentially radioactive crocodiles have been breeding in Florida but we’re already committed to the rhyme here. Anyway biologist Mike Lionet says the 168 miles of cooling canals for the nuclear reactor “a sanctuary for” the crocs. “It’s safe here. We have one of the most concentrated nesting areas in Florida and the United States,” Lionet continued.

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LIVE UPDATES: Manhattan DA’s case against Trump continues

With Stormy Daniels’ two-day testimony out of the way, the Manhattan DA’s case against fat former President Trump will on Friday ease up on the EXPLOSIVE-ness, with former White House assistant Madeline Westerhout continuing to unsensationally but importantly pre-corroborate elements of Michael Cohen’s story. Cohen himself will not take the stand until Monday, and Karen McDougal is out of the witness lineup, so whoever comes after Westerhout is isn’t likely to be that big of a deal.

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Bobby Brainworms says he gave his kids fake vax cards

Literally brain-damaged third party presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr on Thursday told a Las Vegas-area radio host he gave his kids vax cards to go to law school. He did not specify whether these cards were fake or real but we’re going to go ahead and guess that they were fake because Bobby Jr is not a doctor or registered nurse or anyone else authorized to administer a vax.

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Target dials back on Pride Month after last year’s MAGA freakouts

Having felt the white hot rage of MAGAmerica for selling merchandise promoting the idea that LGBTQ folks are human beings and that children should be encouraged to embrace tolerance last year, national big box retailer Target will reduce its 2024 Pride Month collection offerings and put up displays for them in only about half of its nearly 2,000 US locations, Axios reports.

The Minnesota-based chain told Axios this year’s collection has been “been curated based on guest insights and consumer research,” which is a more professional-ish way of saying they know where employees making $15 or $20 an hour are more likely to be assaulted by deranged right wingers for retail marketing decisions those employees personally had zero input on, such as stores offering transgender-friendly bathing suits. “Target is committed to supporting the LGBTQIA+ community during Pride Month and year-round,” the company said in a statement that left out that they seek to do so in ways that do not further inflame the visceral reactionary rage of the deeply insecure Middle Americans who felt threatened by a fucking kid’s t-shirt with a rainbow flag on it.

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Virginia school board votes to re-Confederate-tize two schools

Members of the Shenandoah County, Virginia School Board early Friday voted 5-to-1 to rename Mountain View High School and Honey Run Elementary back to their respective pre-2021 monikers Stonewall Jackson High and Ashby Lee Elementary, with the board’s chair justifying the change by saying the Union were also aggressors and war criminals during the Civil War, WHSV reports.

“People in the Shenandoah Valley say that only the confederates are the ones who did nasty things, or did nasty things to black people. You just stopped reading your history, and you’re not being realistic. War’s hell,” said chair Dennis Barlow. The other pro-Confederate members said their predecessors, who had voted to change the names in the aftermath of the May 2020 murder of George Floyd, had not followed the proper rules in doing so. “This was not an innocent mistake by some inexperienced school board. No, this was a carefully choreographed advance of a school board alluding to ignore the people they represented,” said District 2 member Gloria Carlineo said.

Pretty sure that was not a proper use of the word “alluded.” Some Karen who spoke at the public meeting prior to the vote took the same “prodecural” route, saying they were “fed up on people lying about how our schools were named. I think it’s really rich that people lecture me about morality but excuse the actions of the 2020 school board.” It’s not clear what the price tag is for the reversions, but in 2021 district pencil pushers estimated that the first renaming would cost taxpayers $304,284, an assessment that also included changing one of the middle schools’ team mascot’s name and appearance. It’s not clear what the pre-2021 mascot was or if the board will revert it too.

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Trump’s ex-girlfriend taken off witness list

After hook-up Stormy Daniels wrapped up her titillating testimony during his election interference scandal trial in Manhattan Thursday, Donald Trump learned that his steady side thang Karen McDougal was taken off the witness list by prosecutors, the Daily Beast reports.

Apparently prosecutors don’t feel the need for any additional first, um, “hand” testimony into Trump’s sexual proclivities after the porn star’s evidence, feeling that additional attention will draw focus away from the financial cover-up.  They’ll now rely on others’ statements to support the fact that McDougal was also paid to remain quiet about Donald Trump’s vast selection of sateen jammies.

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Senate passes FAA funding bill focusing on training, safety

Nothing like trying to close the door after it’s blown off the exit row fuselage:  the Senate passed a wide-ranging aviation bill that reauthorizes the Federal Aviation Administration for the next five years and increases funding to recruit, train and retain air traffic controllers, NBC News reports.  With Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries at the helm, the House is expected to pass the bill next week.

The $105 billion bill includes more than just administrative paperwork for a government agency.  It also funds systems to avoid close-calls on the runway, speeds time for airlines to issue refunds, prevents carriers from charging families more to sit together, and authorizes tazing people who stand up before the plane has come to a complete stop at the jetway.  (Okay, we may have made up that last one.)

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Mango Mussolini’s Manhattan Money Mess: Stormy’s days over

Day 14 of Donald Trump’s Manhattan election interference hush money case brought the end of the most overtly salacious testimony provided by porn star Stormy Daniels and more tears from a Friend of Donald.

  • Attending today’s proceedings to support Donald Trump:  Republican Florida Senator Rick Scott, who led health insurance company HCA as it undertook the most massive Medicaid fraud scheme in US history, resulting in one of the nation’s largest civil penalties.
  • Stormy Daniels returned to the stand for a second day of testimony.  Cross examination by defense attorney Susan Necheles continued
  • Necheles worked to undermine Daniels’ credibility, portraying her as a money-grubbing slut.  Daniels matched Necheles’s tone defiantly, admitting that she entered porn because she sought to make a living.
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Flashing the family genes, Tyler Boebert goes to court unprepared

Coming from parents with no fewer than seven arrests between them, Tyler Boebert is just another travel trailer in the family mobile home park.  After being arrested two months ago in connection with a series of robberies and burglaries, Tyler told a judge last month he wasn’t able to find an affordable lawyer, and one month later, Tyler told the same judge at a hearing Thursday that he still hasn’t found a lawyer, reports Westword, Denver’s independent news outlet.

Although 9th Judicial District Judge John F. Neiley told Boebert to apply for a public defender immediately after his April 11th court date to start the qualification review, Boebert said he had only filed the paperwork earlier this week.  “I have now sent…um, I can’t remember what…like, the document to sign up for a public defender. I’ve sent it in. I haven’t gotten a message back, but it was very recently. It was only a couple days ago,” he told the judge.

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