One of the most recognized painted faces of the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress, QAnon Shaman Jacob Chansley, a.k.a. Jake Angeli, had his effort to vacate his guilty plea thrown out, with the judge saying his arguments are “without merit.”

Chansley tried to withdraw his guilty plea after Speaker pro tem released all January 6th security footage from the Capitol to disgraced Fox News propagandist Tucker Carlson who aired about 14 minutes of mundane footage from thousands of hours of video, claiming that the 14 minutes better characterized the environment of the attack.  As the judge pointed out, even if the verdict had been vacated, prosecutors could simply refile the charges.

“Mr. Chansley’s arguments are without merit. For these reasons, the Court finds that reasonable jurists would not debate whether his claims deserve encouragement to proceed further. Mr. Chansley has not made a substantial showing of the denial of a constitutional right. The Court will therefore decline to issue a certificate of appealability for Mr. Chansley’s claims”

Having been caught orange-handed, disgraced former President Trump has agreed to return the ancient Israeli artifacts loaned to the White House which he stole and kept at Mar-a-Lago for nearly three years after his humiliating defeat, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The story is, unsurprisingly, way more twisted than the simple mix-up and possibly unintended or innocuous theft in presented in the first report from earlier this week. Jewish Republican Saul Fox, a Trump donor and friend of now-former Israeli Antiquities Authority chief Israel Hasson had brokered the deal to put the items on display during the White House’s 2019 Hanukkah party, but they got waylaid by the State Department and didn’t end up being used for the celebration.

Fox tells the Journal was able to retrieve the ancient lamps and coins and bring them back to his home in California, but then COVID hit and Fox was unable to send them back to Israel. He forgot about them for two years until Trump invited him to Mar-a-Lago’s 2021 Hanukkah party. Fox then remembered the artifacts and called Hasson, who agreed the pieces should be displayed at Mar-a-Lago. When Fox spoke with Trump privately prior to the dinner he had prepared short remarks praising the twice-impeached loser for his support for Israel, prompting Trump to slam his fists on the desk and scream “Well, how come I only got 25% of the Jewish vote?” according to Fox.

The rest of the story however seems to be Fox trying to fall on the grenade for the items ending up at Mar-a-Lago and that he and Hasson (who in late 2021 was no longer the Antiquities Authority chief) had decided that they were on an indefinite loan to Trump despite the authority demanding their immediate return. Fox does nothing to explain why they remained there for another year and a half after the 2021 Hanukkah Party. “This was something that was promised and done and I acted on it in good faith,” said Fox. Hasson told the Journal more or less the same thing.

Nobody should ever feel bad for Jim Jordan. He’s a demented right wing freak who Joe Paternoed sexual abuse of young men he was supposed to be leading and protecting in his past career as an NCAA wrestling coach. He gets worked up over the dumbest shit that has nothing to do with his day job, like the Buzz Lightyear movie and Dr Seuss books. He lies constantly about things big and small, from falsely accusing Secretary of State Tony Blinken of “election interference” down to whether he wrote that fucking embarrassing “Kanye. Elon. Trump.” tweet that he quietly deleted after West went all Nazi. Most importantly, Jim Jordan just really isn’t smart and doesn’t seem to be aware of it at all.

However we can at least recognize that he’s in a tough spot, one completely of his own making this morning, when in just a few minutes Robert F Kennedy Jr will sit and testify to a hearing of Jordan’s stupid “Weaponization” committee. It’s not like it was a good idea in the first place, but it might not have been as catastrophically bad as it’s going to be had RFK Jr waited another two weeks to spew that shit about the Jews and Chinese deliberately engineering COVID-19 to spare their respective ethnicities. And while Jordan had plenty of opportunity over the last few days to simply disinvite Bobby Jr, as doing so would kind of run contra to the hearing’s theme of “censorship.”

So yeah, Jordan’s in a tough spot alright. And without any sympathy or qualification whatsoever we can enjoy every minute of this completely unforced clusterfuck he brought upon himself.

Legendarily uncourageous Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy is on extremely thin ice with his Orange Master these days after his foolish questioning of his Orange Master’s 2024 electability last month led to a hasty promise to take up the moronic Trump impeachment “expungement” resolution (or resolutions) before the end of the August session to placate him, a promise McCarthy isn’t definitely going to be able to keep given the tight schedule, Politico Playbook reports.

Worse yet, it’s far from a sure thing that any “expungement(s)” could actually pass. Right off the bat there are still two Republicans in the House that voted to impeach the fat fuck in January 2021, leaving really only a three-vote margin which could very disappear given there are 18 GOP members in Biden-won districts and potentially dozens more “constitutionally-minded” and otherwise moderate-ish representatives resistant to the legality and political propriety of the batshit plan.

“I’m for Trump. The problem is: If you have an expungement, and it goes to the floor and fails – which it probably will – then the media will treat it like it’s a third impeachment, and it will show disunity among Republican ranks. It’s a huge strategic risk,” one “senior GOP member” told Playbook.

Still the clock’s ticking on Kev, as Donald brings it up on every call with the hapless cuck. “Meanwhile, in Trump’s inner circle, frustration with McCarthy is boiling. The former president and his team think the speaker should have endorsed him months ago, and are befuddled that he has not,” Playbook writes, adding that there “will be consequences” if the vote doesn’t happen soon.

If you’re a politician in northern Georgia and you lose Brian Pritchard, you’ve lost the voice of the rural farmer who listens to conservative talker podcasts.  And that sounds bad, at least.  But dagnabit, tragic cosmetic podiatry victim and Republican Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has lost Brian Pritchard.  “Every time the media wanted to say QAnon or Jewish space lasers, we pushed back.  We fought for this individual.  But I fight no longer.  I fight no longer and I tell ya why:  I’m through.”

And in a story that somehow slid right past the crack National Zero editorial board:  Brian Pritchard isn’t your normal loudmouth conservative talk show host; he’s a loudmouth conservative talk show host who was caught voting illegally multiple times during his campaign for a state legislative seat because he’s also a convicted felon who was serving a sentence for forgery and theft.

There she was, proudly flipping the posterboards one after the other, displaying purported images of a naked Hunter Biden and his alleged prostitute lover, stills of a sex tape that’s been circulating in the right-wing fever swamp for more than two years.  Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Republican Georgia Congresswoman, was clearly pleased with herself.  She had given a warning about adult content before she began her questioning, so showing near-naked, black-barred, near-pornographic copies of admittedly stolen images of a private citizen was perfectly apt for a Congressional hearing.

“Ah, no, I don’t think that racism is a strong and powerful force in our society,” Christopher Rufo, an appointee of Republican Governor Ron DeSantis to the board of New College of Florida, says on some podcast.  “I think it certainly has been in the past. But, um, as I, y’know, live my life and, and deal with people from all different backgrounds, I-I do not think that this society is racist.  I do not think that racism is a determinative force in the lives of most people and um, um, um of all backgrounds, and I think I dispute also–” [cut]

I’m shocked–SHOCKED, I say!–that that straight, cis-gendered Christian white male Christopher Rufo, who grew up in suburban Sacramento as the son of two lawyers who then went to Georgetown, has not experienced racism in his everyday life as he interacts with “people from all different backgrounds” like, maybe, those people from all different backgrounds do.  Why, it’s like he’s been privileged to avoid experiencing racism unless he wants to.

John Lauro, a lawyer for Trump lawyers Alina Habba and Christina Bobb, has been officially promoted to Trump lawyer, CNN reports. The member of the Trump legal team’s criminal defense representation is joining the Trump legal team for criminal defense representation against the expected charges in Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s investigation of the Orange God Emperor’s failed post-2020 election coup attempt. So it’s not especially likely he’ll end up a witness to another criminal investigation. But you never know, so he should get a lawyer just in case.

One of the three women suing the state of Texas to overturn its effective ban on abortion vomited while she was testifying on the stand about having to carry the pregnancy of a fatally deformed fetus threatened her life, CBS News reports.

Samantha Casiano read a note from her obstetrician that stated she learned in her pregnancy’s 20th week that her fetus has anencephaly, a deformity that leaves the fetus without part of its head and/or brain, and would die shortly after birth.  At that point, she vomited out of emotion, and after the courtroom was cleaned, went back to explain how her doctor gave her information from a funeral home.

Casiano said she had to carry the pregnancy to term in spite of the danger to her own health because she could not get an abortion because doctors feared penalties due to the Texas law.  Her daughter died four hours after birth.  “I felt like I was abandoned,” the mother of four said. “I felt like I didn’t know how to deal with the situation.”

“Again, that’s it,” Fox bro and network baseline for the Idiotmeter Jesse Watters says as he wraps up a misrepresentation of Jason Aldean racist vigilante-glorifying music video, portraying it as an anti-violence patriotic anthem.  “The media told us there’s nothing more paramount than an artist’s creative expression.  We were able to make any movie we wanted, paint any picture we want, write any song we want, wrote any book we want, and that’s what makes America great, right?  Apparently not.  Paramount can produce movies promoting violence but country music stars can’t write songs against it.  The underlying threat here is that this is a small, well-funded mob trying to chip away at your values and your right to self defense.  It’s the same thing they did to Kyle Rittenhouse in Kenosha, the McCluskys in St. Louis, and the Marine in the subway:  scare you out of defending your land, your family and property, and once you’re scared, you’re easier to control.”

MacKenzie Scott’s offer to provide $250 million in separate $1 million grants to non-profit organizations brought in 6,353 applications, giving each applicant around a 25-t0-1 chance of getting the funding, the Associated Press reports.

The grant funding was open to any recognized non-profit with operating budgets between $1-5 million in the United States, including territories.  Other than that, there were no parameters on who could apply or what type of project could be funded.  It marked a change in the way Scott and her non-profit Yield Giving had vetted potential beneficiaries and widened the potential applicants on the group’s radar.  While some philanthropy pundits questioned limiting the size of applicants by budgets was disappointing, others pointed out that there could be other rounds of funding for other organizations in the future.

With a $35 billion settlement from her 2019 divorce, Scott has been donating at a comparatively frenetic in philanthropy.  She’s reportedly donated more than $14 billion to 1,600 different organizations since splitting from Jeff Bezos.  In December 2022, her net worth was estimated to be at $62 billion; Forbes lists her current wealth at $36 billion.

“I hear from people who say, ‘You know what? I never voted for President Trump, but I am going to vote for him now based upon how he is being treated because if they can treat him that way they can do that to any American,'” titular Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy told reporters on Wednesday, raising the obvious question of why he’s still so upset over his Orange Master’s legal problems if it’s making him more popular with previous non-supporters. You would think Kev would be far more enthusiastic about this if more felony counts equals more votes for Donald.

The Florida State Board of Education on Wednesday approved an addition to the American history curriculum to teach students about the benefits of slavery for Antebellum Blacks, that it taught them valuable work skills prior to their emancipation, the Florida Phoenix reports.

The Trump whataboutery from the Dems was solid. There are plenty of excellent clips for that to be found. But if we’re going to pick one that gets right at our theory of the non-case against Hunter Biden, well this is it. Shapley looks like he’s about to cry as Dan Goldman takes the evidence Shapley and the other dipshit brought and turns it against them to demonstrate that Joe Biden had no involvement in the “corruption” that Comer and are trying to sell. Just utter savagery.

A Washington Post analysis of Alabama Republican Senator Tommy Tuberville’s financial statements shows he’s falling short on a 2020 campaign promise to donate his salary to Alabama veterans groups, having cut off his donations to his own charity because of a very MAGAt reason:  they were under audit.

In a March 2020 campaign video, Tuberville vowed, “I’m going to donate every dime I make when I’m in Washington, D.C., to the veterans of the state of Alabama.”  His financial statement show he’s not donated that amount–a $174,000 annual salary–to any veterans group.  As the Post points out, Tuberville previously made such donations through his personal charity, the Tommy Tuberville Foundation, but foundation records show it took in only $74,000 in 2021 (Tuberville’s first year in office) and it took in less than $50,000 in 2022, much less than Tuberville’s salary.

Former president very mad. He say Democracy people being not fair. Bad Democracy people, bad. He say Democracy people cheating in big contest coming up next year. They have really mean guy with beard sending papers with lots of scary words on them to former president. This make former president sad and upset. Lots of people with red hats and big bellies and no money also sad and upset with beard man and Democracy people for sending former president scary papers.

The big belly red hat and no money people worried and mad because they want former president to win big contest and make them feel better about sad lives. They not friends with Democracy people and want to put big holes in their faces and in mean beard man’s face. Former president would be very happy if red hat big belly people put big hole in mean beard man’s face to stop him from sending any more scary papers or putting former president in jail. Former president very mad.

Sorry readers. You know how fanatically obsessed we at National Zero can be with timely reporting of certain stories, especially relative to certain rival sites that a certain editor of this site tends to use certain colorful language to describe them and their staffs. But every now and then there’s something we simply can’t ignore and need to pick it up, no matter what. So here goes:

Dems waiting for my arrest pic.twitter.com/BSfLJdfAnr

— meshawn maddock (@MeshawnMaddock) May 17, 2023

Former Michigan state GOP co-chair Meeshawn Maddock really stuck it to the libs with this tweet mocking their over two-year wait for her to face justice for leading the effort to subvert the will of the voters in the state of Michigan in the 2020 election by transmitting 16 fake electoral college votes for fat former President Trump – one of which she signed herself – to the National Archives with the intent of their being accepted as being from the legitimate and duly appointed electors. What a freaking asshole thinking she’s going to end up getting away with this and will never have to face arrest for her crime. She’s never going to end up like that other blonde white woman who said she definitely wasn’t going to jail after trying to stop Joe Biden from being inaugurated.

Wisconsin Senator Ron “RonAnon” Johnson on Tuesday told a YouTuber named Tommy G that it’s “certainly possible” that rogue elements of the US government killed President John F Kennedy in 1963 and that Jeffrey Epstein was knocked off too, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports.

“The American public deserves the truth, and we haven’t gotten it. There’s so many unanswered questions, so many witnesses that just died, so many leads that weren’t followed up on, so much evidence that obviously should have been collected that people have been prevented from collecting,” said RonAnon in regard to the JFK assassination. On Epstein, “Well certainly it’s fishy, The coverup of the list of individuals that visited Epstein Island is pretty fishy… It’s mainly people of the left that Jeffrey Epstein was courting and that took advantage of his island pleasures.”

A new survey by the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute finds President Biden leading twice-impeached and nearly thrice-indicted former President Trump 49 to 44 percent among registered voters, bumping Joe slightly closer to a majority than the June survey in which Biden led 48 to 44.

In potentially worse news for MAGA Nation, the share of voters who say the economy is the most important issue is at 31 percent, just barely ahead of the 29 percent that said preserving democracy is the most important. Abortion rated at 7 percent, just ahead of immigration at 6 percent.

This is it folks! The big one! The Biden Criminal Empire is finally going to go down in flames as heroic IRS agent Gary Shapley and the mysterious WHISTLEBLOWER X who will somehow, if Democrats don’t ask them a lot of questions, show the American people ABSOLUTE, IRREFUTABLE PROOF that the Bidens took dirty foreign money in exchange for something that they don’t know what it is yet but they’ll figure it out soon. Probably has something to do with the Chinese spy balloons.