Please @realDonaldTrump don’t be using me for anything, I’m not a victim of Jan6, I pleaded guilty because I was guilty! #StopTheSpin pic.twitter.com/lMPjckyVlU

— Pam Hemphill (@PamHemphill79) June 26, 2023

At least five Secret Service agents have testified to the federal grand jury impaneled by Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith to investigate disgraced former President Trump’s role in inciting the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection at the US Capitol, NBC News reports.

Further details, such as the agents’ proximity to Trump on the day of the riot or the content of their subpoenas were unknown, but NBC speculates they might include the agents party to the infamous steering wheel grab incident as the Orange Tyrant ordered his guards to take him to the Capitol.

In the midst of a meltdown over Ron DeSantis getting more coverage than him on Fox News, disgraced former President Trump on Monday appeared to officially declare he won’t show up for the first RNC debate this August in Milwaukee, which is being broadcast by the propaganda channel, writing “So FoxNews, which is down 37% in the Ratings, doesn’t cover my getting the ‘Man of the Decade’ Award (because of my great trade policies!) in Michigan, or my Keynote Speech for Faith & Freedom in DC, and then wants me to show up and get them ratings for their ‘Presidential’ Debate, where I’m leading the field by 40 points. All they do is promote, against all hope, Ron DeSanctimonious, and he’s dropping like a rock. Sorry FoxNews, life doesn’t work that way!!!”

But, you know, Joe Biden not wanting to waste his time debating unhinged weirdos like RFK Jr and Marianne Williamson is an affront to democracy and basically election interference.

President Joe Biden on Monday told reporters that the US and NATO had nothing to do with the attempted mutiny against the Kremlin by the Wagner Group mercenaries and that it’s too early to assess the impact of Russia’s murderous war effort against Ukraine, the Associated Press reports.

“Of course he WOULD say that because the whole point was to distract from the EXPLOSIVE revelations from the IRS whistleblower and the Twitter files and all that other shit,” some MAGA asshole probably said in reaction to Biden not indulging their false flag conspiracy theories.

Dear Media,

I plan on continuing to serve the people of NY3. Providing excellent constituent services to the people of NY03 and proposing common sense conservative legislation for the betterment of our nation. Speaker McCarthy’s comments do not change my intention of running.

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) June 26, 2023

Earlier on Monday, cowardly Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy told Fox News that Santos shouldn’t run again and the GOP “will keep that seat with another Republican.” It again shows how much of a fucking worm McCarthy is, because no shit Santos shouldn’t run again, but why the fuck shouldn’t he just resign already after being hit with a 13 count federal indictment?

Far right Neo Nazi MAGA terrorist Anderson Lee Aldrich, charged in the murders of five people when he opened fire at a Colorado Springs LGBTQ nightclub hosting a drag night last November, will plead guilty at his arraignment on Monday, sparing the community a pointless trial, CNN reports.

“Aldrich identifies as nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns, defense attorneys have said,” CNN writes, lamely humoring the fat fuck’s stupid attempt to troll the media before going away for life.

Spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan might be in trouble as on Monday the Supreme Court dismissed Ohio State University’s bid to block sex abuse lawsuits from the victims of now-deceased diddling athletic department doctor Richard Strauss, Reuters reports. It’s been alleged for years that Jordan, an assistant wrestling team coach in the late 1980s and early 1990s during Strauss’s reign of terror, knew about the abuse and did nothing to protect the men on the squad. Jordan’s been named in at least one of the complaints against Ohio State, but it’s unclear if he’s an actual defendant in any of the ones cleared by the Supreme Court on Monday.

Legendarily uncourageous Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy on Monday set the bar on Fox and Friends at “if it comes true” that all the shit the “IRS whistleblower” says happened with then-Vice President Biden and his son Hunter about the WhatsApp messages with him and blah blah blah then the House GOP are going to impeach Attorney General Merrick Garland.

The US Supreme Court on Monday dismissed Republican Louisiana Secretary of State Kyle Ardoin’s appeal to block a lower court ruling enforcing an order for the state to create a second majority Black Congressional district, a case rendered moot after the court decided earlier this month to uphold the Voting Rights Act’s proscription against racial gerrymandering. So Democrats pick up another Blue district, as expected after the ruling in Allen v Milligan.

“Getting in Shape for My Debates with President Biden” – Robert Kennedy, Jr. Releases Beefcake Push-Up Video to Rattle the Democrat Party Elites https://t.co/5FfXWHmpEi

— The Gateway Pundit (@gatewaypundit) June 26, 2023

A lawsuit filed Friday in Los Angeles County by a Jane Doe accuses the Church of Scientology, its leader David Miscavige, and his top lieutenant Gavin Potter of covering up systemic sexual assault, sexual battery, negligence, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and fraud.

“It is common knowledge to members of Scientology that older members engage in illicit sexual activities with minors. The practice is both endorsed and facilitated by the Scientology doctrine. The RPF punitive system routinely separates spouses from one another, sometimes for years. Recruits to Sea Org or CMO are expected to be free of any prior crimes, sexual interactions, or other tarnishing acts, making minors the most available and suitable candidates for recruitment. The prospect of being pressed into Sea Org was so repugnant that, upon information and belief, some minors would take certain illicit substances (or claim to have taken them) to make themselves ineligible. Finally, members of Scientology are prohibited from engaging in any contact, sexual or otherwise, with non-Scientologists,” reads part of the complaint against the evil celebrity space cult.

A Kentucky woman visiting her boyfriend in Texas hired an Uber driver to take her to a location in southeast El Paso, but alleged shot him in the head, killing him, because she reportedly thought the driver was kidnapping her to Mexico when she saw signs for Juarez, Mexico on a highway, the Associated Press reports.

Apparently unaware that signs can tell you what happens across a border, Tompkinsville, Kentucky resident Phoebe Copas panicked as 52-year-old Daniel Piedra Garcia drove to Copas’s destination, the Speaking Rock Casino, about a mile from the Mexican border.  When Garcia merged on to a highway with signs showing the distance to Juarez, Mexico–and apparently unaware that there were multiple exits before the Mexican border–Copas pulled a gun and shot Garcia in the head, killing him and sending the car crashing into the median.  She’s being charged with murder.

“Better to be a dog in times of tranquility than a human in times of chaos,” wrote Chinese philosopher Feng Menglong in 1627, a line apparently later mangled by late-19th century radical British politician Joseph Chamberlain into the more hexing “May you live in interesting times,” as a parting shot to those who reap the chaos they’ve sown. The original is kind of dull, inert, and only a little more wise and insightful as “It is what it is.” Like no shit a dog remains blissfully unaware of the complexities of human conflict and disaster. That doesn’t mean they never suffer what is wrought in “interesting times.” The monkeys and parrots and other animals drowned at a zoo in Ukraine earlier this month didn’t spend their last moments contemplating the geopolitical complexities that led the Russians to destroy the Nova Kharkova Dam, sending a wall of water into their enclosures, but they drowned all the same. “Interesting times” come for you whether you know it or not.

And what an interesting time it was when National Zero was born three years ago on this very day, amid a pandemic, racial strife, an apocalyptic presidential campaign, and the really stupid shit like that Trump campaign ad above. We’ve already written this site’s autobiography on the second birthday, laid out how a crucial editorial decision was made just shy of the halfway mark of our existence thus far, and how the outlook has improved marginally since that ugly first stretch.

This one’s for 2020 (and much of 2021).

Fat former President Trump’s 2024 campaign has been diverting as much as 10 percent of all contributions from donors to pay for his legal fees on multiple fronts, the New York Times reports based on a review of FEC records from the past few months. The records indicate that until around February or March of 2023 the Trump 2024 campaign shifted about 1 percent per month to “Save America PAC,” the entity which has been paying his lawyers in multiple criminal and civil cases.

Since then however, the campaign has been sending 10 cents on every dollar to “Save America,” amounting to at least $1.5 million over the past few months that should’ve been spent on advertising instead going to Donald’s self-inflicted clusterfucks. Even better, as the Times writes, “generally, a PAC cannot spend money directly on the candidate’s campaign, and a campaign committee cannot directly pay for things that benefit the candidate personally,” making this yet another campaign finance violation by an obese degenerate who made such disregard for the rules his brand.

Last night in my DC residence, the television turned on by itself and the screen showed someone’s laptop trying to connect to the TV.

Just for the record:

I’m very happy.
I’m also very healthy and eat well and exercise a lot. I don’t smoke and never have. I don’t take any…

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) June 25, 2023

Back in the Trump administration, Kellyanne Conway told us our microwaves surveil us for the government.  Now Georgia Republican Congresswoman and avowed conspiracy theorist tell us a fanciful tale of her television coming on and someone–presumably the hacker himself–staring at Marge as he attempted to access her TeeVee.  “I’m very happy. I’m also very healthy and eat well and exercise a lot. I don’t smoke and never have. I don’t take any medications. I am not vaccinated. So I’m not concerned about blood clots, heart conditions, strokes, or anything else. Nor do I have anything to hide,” the woman who allegedly had a number of affairs prior to her recent divorce claims.  “I just love my country and the people and know how much they’ve been screwed over by the corrupt people in our government and I’m not willing to be quiet about it, or willing to go along with it.”

The first NBC News survey testing of the 2024 general election finds President Joe Biden leading disgraced former President Trump 49 percent to 45 percent in a head-to-head, with 4 percent saying they wouldn’t vote and 1 percent undecided, while Biden and heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis tied at 47 percent. Meanwhile in the GOP primary Trump leads DeSantis 51 to 22 percent, with former Vice President Mike Pence coming in third at 7 percent support.

Officials from the US intelligence community gave senior government and military officials a heads-up that Wagner Group commander Yevgeny Prigozhin was going to turn his forces on his overseers in the Russian military on Wednesday, the New York Times reports.  The information about the coup came in days before the Wednesday briefing, but agency teams worked to confirm and analyze the information before sending it up the ladder.

It’s unclear if the US shared that information with Kyiv, allowing the Ukrainian military to leverage the expected unrest in the ranks and the gaps in the line.  Congressional leaders were advised of the intelligence Thursday, which obviously triggered Kevin McCarthy to push Lauren Boebert’s impeachment bill to committee to cover up for Hunter Biden’s laptop because of the millions of dollars coming from China.

Just want to make sure we’re all on the same page here:  Joe Biden initiated the Russian coup to coverup the fact that he didn’t rescue the people in the sub accident he ordered to distract people from his son’s crimes for which he should be impeached.  Right?  …’cause if we’re going to delve down conspiracy theories, we may as well address one that’s true:  the government is censoring what you can read.

Not here in the US, as MAGAts will tell you is happening, but in their preferred homeland of Russia:  the Washington Post reports the Kremlin limited access to outside sites that were reporting the then-emerging threat to Vladimir Putin’s reign, as the leader of the Wagner Group marched his troops toward Moscow.

Starting Friday night (local time), the largest internet service provider in Russia, Rostelecom–followed by the next top five services–started blocking Google News and other Western sites.  Additionally, messaging app Telegram experienced unexplained service outages and slowdowns, particularly in Rostov-on-Don and areas along the Wagner Group’s advance.

Monoretinalan seditionist Elmer Stewart Rhodes, the one-time leader of the Oath Keepers ultranationalist club, is preparing a detailed appeal to his conviction on seditious conspiracy, his lawyer tells Scott MacFarlane of CBS News, using his Yale legal education over the months of incarceration to craft the response.  Elmer was sentenced to 18 years in prison for his part in planning the January 6th Republican-led attack on Congress.