Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel on Wednesday hailed the launch of “Bank Your Vote,” an all-too insider-y named effort to talk MAGA voters out of their bone-deep distrust of early and/or mail-in balloting which cost the party dearly in 2020 and 2022.

“To beat Joe Biden and the Democrats in 2024, we must ensure that Republicans bank as many votes as possible before Election Day. Because of the efforts to Protect Your Vote in 2022, grassroots Republicans like you should feel comfortable Banking Your Vote in 2024. The Bank Your Vote initiative encourages GOP voters (like YOU!) to get your vote in and make absolutely sure that your voice is heard in the critical 2024 elections,” wrote the RNC’s marketing department in the launch announcement without actually offering any examples of how the party worked to “Protect Your Vote” last year and ignoring that assholes like Kari Lake are still carrying on with “fraud” claims.

“In all 50 states, your Republican Party will be working hard to get our voters to vote by mail or early in-person, and ballot harvest where permitted. We can’t do it without you though – so share this site with family and friends to make sure they bank their vote, too!” the announcement continued.

It’s not clear yet how this effort will be received by the few Republican voters who actually see it, but judging by the Gateway Pundit’s reaction to Ronna pitching the same last year on Steve Bannon’s show, probably not very well. The other problem here likely lies with the use of the word “Bank.” Like we said it’s already too technical and “establishment” insider jargon-y, as if Ronna assumes every Republican voter reads the Cook Political Report regularly. Then there’s also that, while it’s not quite as prevalently dirty as “harvesting” (which she also uses here) in the minds of MAGA Nation, “bank” already carries some negative connotation in this context. So best of luck to Ronna and her official “Bank Your Vote” ambassadors Byron Donalds and Bill Hagerty.

Disgraced former Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro this month will face a non-criminal trial in front of a seven-judge panel in the country’s election court over his false claims of fraud in the 2022 election he lost fairly to now-President Luiz Lula, the New York Times reports, adding that Bolsonaro could be barred from running for office again for eight years if convicted.

This of course is separate and apart from any criminal charges Jair the Jerkoff is looking at for his multitude of other offenses, related to the election and otherwise. Just last month federal cops raided Bolsonaro’s home and seized his phone as part of an investigation into whether he fakes his COVID vaccination record in order to be able to enter the United States after losing the election.

I believe in the American people, and I have faith God is not done with America yet. Together, we can bring this Country back, and the best days for the Greatest Nation on Earth are yet to come! 🇺🇸 #Pence2024 pic.twitter.com/A8EkqgCDAm

— Mike Pence (@Mike_Pence) June 7, 2023

A new study published in the journal Nature says the Arctic Ocean may see its first iceless summer much sooner than expected because of the impact of manmade climate change, according to the Washington Post, marking a sad benchmark in the fight to curb climate change.

Original estimates said the Arctic would have minimal ice coverage by the 2050 decade, but new studies show that the ice will disappear in summer during that decade, not simply recede, even if humankind limits temperature increases to under two degrees Celsius.  The loss of ice makes reforming the icepack more difficult as the temperature rises, and scientists fear that with increasing global temperatures, the potential for a permanently iceless Arctic is higher in the next three decades.

“Even if Chansley were ultimately successful in advancing a meritorious claim to vacate his conviction (which, the government submits, he is unable to do), the case against him would not be dismissed. Rather, Chansley’s guilty plea would be withdrawn, the charges in the indictment would be reinstated, and the case would proceed to trial – where Chansley, if convicted, could face up to 20 years’ imprisonment. Chansley therefore may wish to consider whether the ‘relief’ that he could obtain through these claims is truly preferable to preserving the benefits of the Plea Agreement, under which he was sentenced to the minimum sentence under his calculated guidelines range.”

“Additionally, Chansley has not presented any arguments regarding a known defect in the colloquy, a lack of voluntariness in the plea, or a claim of actual innocence,” write DC federal prosecutors in a footnote on page 14 of their opposition to Jacob “QAnon Shaman” Chansley’s motion to vacate his conviction, not very subtly warning the famous Capitol rioter they’ll take him to trial, win, and send him back to the Big House for much longer in the unlikely event he’s successful in getting it tossed.

MAGA Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna – already known as a basket case even before she got elected last year – seems to have seen The Departed one too many times and thinks the “Biden Crime Family” have a mole in the FBI keeping them one step ahead of the investigations into them.

The mole’s codename is “One-Eye.” It’s not clear if this is a physical attribute like “One-Eye” literally has one good eye and an eyepatch or glass eye or if it’s simply a nickname. Luna at least sort of anticipates a major loophole in her story and explains that even though entire FBI is corrupt, this “One-Eye” character is like super, extra corrupt on top of just regular FBI-level corrupt.

The movement for 11 rural MAGA counties in Oregon to break away from the state and join Idaho – something that would require approval from both states’ legislatures not to mention the United States Congress – grows closer and closer to not actually happening as voters have approved measures in each county to move forward on the “Greater Idaho” plan, NBC News reports.

In very much related news, the AP reports the Oregon state Senate remains at a complete standstill as the once again Republicans are boycotting showing up to work to deny Democrats a quorum.

Conservative gadfly Jacob Wohl and his colleague Jack Burkman, famous for holding embarrassing press conferences from the front porch of Burkman’s Arlington, Virginia townhouse, were fined more than $5 million by the FCC for robocalling urban voters with false information during the 2020 election cycle.

In an effort to dissuade voters from going to the polls, the pair along with Burkman’s company, made more than 1,100 robocalls telling recipients that if they showed up to vote in the 2020 election, their “personal information will be part of a public database that will be used by police departments to track down old warrants and be used by credit card companies to collect outstanding debts.”  None of that is true.  The recorded call helpfully stated Wohl and Burkman were two of the entities that paid for the calls.

In November 2022, the pair were each sentenced to two years of probation, six months of monitoring with a GPS ankle bracelet, $2,500 each in fines and 500 hours of registering voters in Washington, DC by an Ohio court in a plea to criminal charges related to the scheme.  Felony cases in Michigan and New York appear to still be outstanding.

Ep. 1 pic.twitter.com/O7CdPjF830

— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) June 6, 2023

The, uh, production values in this are something. As is the brevity. You could say it’s more “authentic” than what he had going on Fox. Authenticity is important these days. It’s like a currency.

Disgraced former Trump White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows has testified one or both of the the grand juries impaneled by Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith to investigate the Orange God Emperor’s post-2020 election coup attempt and Donald’s theft of classified documents from the White House after the coup attempt failed, the New York Times reports.

“It is not clear precisely when Mr Meadows testified or if investigators questioned him about one or both of the cases,” the Times writes. Of course if it had to be one of them it would be the January 6th investigation, as in March a federal judge ordered Meadows to testify along with a host of other Trump White House minions considered key witnesses in the coup attempt and less so on the classified documents side. DC Circuit Judge Beryl Howell had presided over sealed hearings of testimony and evidence in both so it’s possible there was a two-for-one deal with Meadows.

There has been some speculation that Meadows may have “flipped” but just like with the alien spacecraft whistleblower guy from this morning we’ll believe it when we see it.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith has impaneled a second grand jury to investigate fat former President Trump’s theft of classified documents from the White House, with this new panel hearing testimony from new witnesses this week, CNN reports, saying sources don’t know why Smith needs a second grand jury to look into this after one’s already been sitting in DC for months.

Canadian air pollution is making New York City and other, less important, regions of the East Coast as smoky as Rudy Giuliani’s podcasting room, as the out-of-control wildfires in Maple Land send the ashen clouds southeast, National Zero reports with an assist from the Washington Post.

Air quality alerts have been in effect for days here in fair Gotham with no end in sight. When this happened two years ago at least it was American made fire ruining our air, but now we’ve got a foreign country not doing getting their shit together. Don’t they have Smokey the Bear in Canada?

Voters in Maine should double-check their Party registration after Maine elections officials warned the No Labels Party has been duping voters to change their political affiliation under the guise of signing a petition to get the Party on the November ballot, NBC News reports.

In what they hope to be the strongest third party showing in three decades, No Labels has gotten the endorsement of self-declared centrists like former Republican Maryland Governor Larry Hogan and ersatz Democrat former Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman.  It hopes to put candidates on the ballot in all 50 states, including for the presidency, but Democrats fear the third party challenge may siphon enough votes away to give Donald Trump or another Republican a pathway to victory.

Maine election officials say they’ve received numerous complaints from voters who signed what they were told was a petition to get an as-yet-unnamed No Labels candidate on the ballot in the November 2024 election, but in fact, had signed a form changing their Party affiliation, making them ineligible to vote in closed Democratic or Republican primaries.  Maine Secretary of State’s office has sent letters to newly-registered No Labels voters advising them to review their listed affiliation.

Fat former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on Tuesday formally filed the paperwork with the FEC to run for president in 2024, the New York Times reports on the beginning of a kamikaze mission to take down fat former President Trump and get revenge for nearly killing him with COVID.

A debate rules vote in the House covering four bills including one to protect gas stoves failed 206 to 220 including 12 Republican nays on Tuesday, putting a major GOP priority on the back burner.

What actually happened, according to those chodes at The Hill, was that 12 of the Freedom Caucasians wanted to stick it to McCarthy over last week’s debt ceiling/spending bill, and voted against the rules in protest, with the gas stoves being hilarious collateral damage.

Following a recommendation from the sheriff, Bexar County, Texas District Attorney Joe Gonzales on Tuesday said he’s opened a criminal investigation into short little bastard Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s role in trafficking migrants to Martha’s Vineyard last August, the Messenger reports.

“The process of determining whether enough evidence exists to charge anyone with a crime and convince a jury of Bexar County citizens ‘beyond a reasonable doubt’ that a crime has been committed may be lengthy and labor-intensive under the best of circumstances. If a review of the facts reveal that a felony offense has been committed, we will present that case to a grand jury for their deliberation,” said Gonzales in a statement, which comes as California Governor Gavin Newsom threatened DeSantis with the same over a number of recent flights into the Golden State.

Eight months after the Russian invasion, a team of Ukrainian divers attached explosives to the Nord Stream natural gas pipelines that would transfer natural gas from Russia to central Europe, a potential financial windfall for the Kremlin, and intelligence agencies in the US and Europe knew about the planned attack for months, new reporting from the Washington Post based on documents leaked in the Discord disclosure shows.

The perpetrators of the attack had not been identified publically, but in April 2022, two months after the Russian invasion, US intelligence officials learned from counterparts in a European country about the Ukrainian goal of disabling the pipelines. The European agency learned of the attacks from a single source who reported that the operation was being overseen by the highest levels of Ukrainian military and civilian officials. Neither pipelines were in operation, but they were filled with pressurized gas at the time of the September 26th attack, which left three of the four conduits in the system damaged.

Widely criticized for threatening the energy supply for central and western Europe, the attacks were attributed to various sides by pundits.  Some believed Russia carried out the attack themselves as a false flag operation, while others proffered that a western nation such as the US conducted the operation to help Ukraine.

House Oversight dipshit James Comer on Tuesday told Newsmax that it was Ukraine who bribed then-Vice President Joe Biden back in 2015 or 2016 or whenever the fuck it was Rudy and his pals claimed when they submitted these fake tips to the FBI while Joe was running for president.

“This [FBI] 1023 form I got to view yesterday, the oligarch who allegedly bribed Joe Biden when he was vice president said that he would make it almost impossible for anyone to find because they were gonna launder it through a series of banks and a series of shell companies,” said Comer, either intentionally or unintentionally forgetting that all this shit was debunked more than three years ago. “Hillary Clinton was more than likely going to be the president of the United States, so he was trying to make money, which I don’t think it is a bad thing, but unfortunately for Joe Biden, he’s not a very charismatic person and no one was going to buy a book from Joe Biden at his age. He’d been in politics all his life, so he wasn’t in demand for corporate boards. So it appears he made the decision… he was going to profit off the last year and a half of his vice presidency.”

And yeah, this is what Republicans are going with for real this year. Couldn’t even come up with a new “scandal,” they had to recycle an old one that got Trump impeached the first time.

“FLASH! 🚨 NBC NEWS EXCLUSIVE! 🚨 JUSTICE DEPARTMENT TRUMP INVESTIGATION SPECIAL COUNSEL JACK SMITH didn’t answer any questions as he silently walked into his office building in Washington DC on Tuesday morning. It appears Smith was wearing a yellow tie with black stripes on it. Could that have any hidden clues as to when he’ll finally indict the criminal former president? Joining us are former Watergate prosecutor and MSNBC legal analyst Ivan Van Vanderbilt IV, New York Times reporter Marisol Kurosawa-McGoldberg, and NBC Justice Correspondent Mike Hunt to break down the color choice of Smith’s tie and what it means for the investigation…”

…is how we imagine the rest of that segment went after the clip ended. While we’re mocking this appropriately for being “Mueller Time” all over again, the key difference is that Smith really is more likely than not actually going to hit Trump with some major federal charges rather than issue a report that documents 10 instances of possible obstruction of justice, making it easier to have fun with this kind of MSM bullshit. The one actually useful piece of info we can glean from this is that it appears Smith is protected by a security detail, at least two guys looking like they’re ready to seriously fuck up any red-hatted “patriot” who gets within 100 feet of the special counsel. Good to know.