Wow! NBC News reports 100 really lucky members of the Virginia National Guard will get to go to Texas and help stop the BORDER INVASION! How awesome is that? The men and women with jobs and families who signed up to get some military training and occasionally get deployed to help respond to hurricanes and floods and other boring stuff inside Virginia now can go to Texas for weeks, maybe even months, in the middle of summer to fight in Texas’s war against the rainbow fentanyl cartels! Glenn Youngkin probably wishes he could go with them instead of working in his lame old air-conditioned office in Richmond, but the troops should still send him pics anyway.

In a TikTok video that “went viral” on Fox News programming, Breaking Bad actor Bryan Cranston exploded over the lack of Democratic 2024 presidential primary debates, even though he probably didn’t care about it when Trump refused to debate his primary challengers in 2020 and heavily hinted he won’t be participating in the upcoming 2024 Republican primary debates.

Non-Correction: The current version of this article and headline misidentified the man in the Fox News image, “Dawson’s Creek” and “Varsity Blues” actor James Van Der Beek, as “Breaking Bad” actor Bryan Cranston. National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.

Arizona Non-Governor Kari Lake will fill in for former Vice President Mike Pence at the Georgia state GOP convention next week, avoiding what would be an awkward meeting between Pence and fat former President Trump, who’s also speaking, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

Future criminal defendant Georgia GOP Chairman David Shafer announced the change in an email to members, writing Pence canceled “because of a televised national town hall at which he will be making an announcement regarding his future plans,” which no shit CNN already gave it away and said Pence would appear at a “Presidential town hall event.” In related news, the Messenger acted like they landed a huge scoop on Wednesday when they reported that Pence is definitely running.

A DC federal court on Tuesday set a hearing for the right wing Heritage Foundation’s bid to unseal British Prince Harry’s visa application records to see if the royal ginger had lied about past drug use on the forms – this after having written about it in his recent memoir, the Independent reports.

Yes, the Heritage Foundation, whose mission is supposed to be remaking the federal judiciary, are that fucking petty and obsessed with Prince Harry that they’ll go to court to see if he lied about some irrelevant bullshit with the apparent hope that they can get his visa revoked.

Later in the interview Kansas Senator Roger Marshall also lamented that fentanyl is easier to buy than pizza these days. “You can fentanyl delivered to your school” he claimed, which really helped show that he’s not at all out of touch with the average American voter or anything.

“The Justice Department today announced the filing of a civil action against James C Justice III and 13 coal companies he owns or operates seeking to collect unpaid civil penalties previously assessed by the Department of the Interior Office of Surface Mining Reclamation and Enforcement (OSMRE), as well as Abandoned Mine Land (AML) reclamation fee and audit debts. ‘Our environmental laws serve to protect communities against adverse effects of industrial activities including surface coal mining operations,’ said Assistant Attorney General Todd Kim of the Justice Department’s Environment and Natural Resources Division. ‘Through this suit, the Justice Department seeks to deliver accountability for defendants’ repeated violations of the law and to recover the penalties they owe as a result of those violations,'” says a Wednesday Justice Department press release.

Cue the MAGA conspiracy theorists with their “Oh that’s convenient just a day after a poll found West Virginia Governor Jim Justice crushing Joe Manchin by 22 points in the 2024 Senate race!”

And maybe they’re right that it is “convenient” – and defendant Jim Justice III is the son of Republican West Virginia Governor Jim Justice II, but they’re both still in the same coal business so the DOJ might as well be suing the governor himself. Then again maybe don’t fuck around and make yourself a target for “politically motivated persecution” by the federal government. And let’s be honest, it’s not like this is really going to hurt Justice’s Senate campaign. West Virginia Republican voters don’t give a shit about the environment and never did. A federal lawsuit isn’t a game-changer.

Shares of national automotive retailer Advance Auto Parts plummeted on Wednesday for some reason, we’re not sure what it is because we didn’t read the CNBC article about it. Might be something like a major analyst’s forecast of slower business for the car industry at large or maybe a merger with NAPA or Pep Boys fell through or whatever, but our theory is that they went “woke” and are facing a massive boycott from their largely white male customer base.

We don’t have any evidence or other reporting on this being why Advance’s stock went down the toilet, it’s just that if TrendingPoliticsNews.com reports “Kohl’s Stock Crashes Following Backlash Over Kids’ Pride Gear,” then we’re going put two and two together and assume that Advance Auto Parts is facing a similar backlash over hiring a new DEI vice president or selling Pride-themed steering wheel covers or a new commercial with a lot of pink cars set to “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. Maybe they’re running a “Trans-4-Trans” promotion, offering 50 percent off transmission fluid to all transgender customers. It could even be that attitudes are subtly changing and suddenly some conservative activists realized that truck nuts might actually be promoting a homosexual lifestyle that prompted this “backlash.” It can’t just be normal market forces or something boring like that.

It has to be a backlash by “Real America” that’s causing woke Advance Auto Parts to go broke.

'Blacks for Trump' leader who wants to 'destroy DeSantis' was early follower of deadly Black supremacist cult https://t.co/AxdO6qecXv

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 31, 2023

This Fox News article about “Blacks for Trump” founder Maurice Symonette is something else. It’s an extensive look at the guy famous for being picked to sit behind fat former President Trump at dozens of rallies over the years, a man who no doubt appeared in countless hours of live and recorded footage on their channel. Symonette’s history as a member of the Black supremacist death cult “Nation of Yahweh” is no secret, neither is their suspected involvement in the murders of as many as 12 white people. In 1990 Symonette was among 16 cultists charged in the deaths, but only leader Yahweh ben Yahweh and member former NFL player Robert Rozier were convicted.

You already know how this would’ve gone if Symonette were a prominent Black Lives Matter activist or was running for Congress as a Democrat. Fox News would’ve scrutinized every single fucking thing he said at least three times a day and you’d never hear the end of it. In this universe however, it takes until the asshole vaguely threatens the guy who they not-so-secretly want to be the next president for them to act like he’s Satan incarnate. That he’s Black definitely makes it easier.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith has subpoenaed former Trump White House officials for information about the disgraced former autocrat’s November 17, 2020 “termination” of then-Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency chief Chris Krebs in retribution for a statement in which Krebs had called the 2020 election the “most secure in history,” the New York Times reports.

Krebs has already sat for interviews with Smith’s team and is focused on Trump loyalty enforcer Johnny McEntee’s actions in the lead-up to the firing. The Times describes this as trying to get into Trump’s “state of mind,” but that would seem almost a little too simplistic and/or far-removed from the kinds of actual statute violations Smith has reportedly been looking at for Trump, like wire fraud for soliciting donations after he’d already lost and seditious conspiracy for wanting people armed with weapons into the Ellipse during his speech. Lefty journo Marcy Wheeler suggests there’s likely more to it, writing “I think it likely erroneous to imagine that Jack Smith is getting into Chris Krebs’ firing JUST to get to Trump’s mindset. He fired Krebs for doing something his Admin had specifically bought off on. It was a necessary part of the plot,” before bringing up a relevant portion of the transcript of Krebs’ interview with the House January 6th Committee. We honestly can’t nail down what the hell she’s talking about specifically, but her take and the general idea that Smith’s line of inquiry on Krebs is more than simply trying to establish Trump’s “mindset” is still worth noting here.

Fat former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will launch his 2024 presidential campaign at an event in New Hampshire next week, Axios reports on a non-game changer for the GOP primary field.

We would say Christie’s entry is going to further dilute the chances of any one contender to knock off disgraced former President Trump, but (A) the die was pretty much already cast on that when Nikki Haley jumped in rather than backing Ron DeSantis or maybe Tim Scott and (B) it’s not like Chris Christie 2024 was going to make any goddamned difference either way. That being said maybe, just maybe, there’s something to the hype that Christie could materially hurt Trump’s support by taking him on in the way that the other candidates are terrified of, like when Christie recently called Donald a “puppet of Putin,” which is not nothing compared to the rest of them.

Far right QAnon fan JR Majewski, who lost his 2022 bid against Dem Ohio Congresswoman Marci Kaptur after being exposed as a fucking liar about his military record, abruptly announced the end of his 2024 campaign on Tuesday, claiming something about his mother’s health, Politico reports.

“Yes. I plan on withdrawing because of my mother’s health,” Majewski told Politico, adding that “my family is top priority.” Majewski is the second 2022 far right freak loser to drop out of a 2024 run after Pennsylvania governor loser Doug Mastriano passed on a widely expected Senate bid.

The shitweasels running South Africa are trying to figure out a way to get around their international legal obligation to arrest Russian dictator Vladimir Putin pursuant to the warrant issued by the International Criminal Court, looking at changing their own laws while also applying to the ICC for a waiver in order to dodge it at an upcoming summit in August, the BBC reports.

Hundreds of community members attended Tuesday’s Hernando County (Florida) School Board meeting to express their support for a district teacher against whom a complaint was lodged for showing the Disney movie “Strange World” because it has Disney’s first openly gay character, USA Today reports.  Board member Shannon Rodriguez reported Winding Waters teacher Jenna Barbee to the state Department of Education for showing the movie, which Barbee says ties in with the planned ecology lesson; the sexuality of the character wasn’t a factor.

More than 100 parents, students and others registered to address the board, which did not have Rodriguez’s complaint on the agenda.  Some noted the increasing number of vacant teaching positions; a leader of a local teachers’ union said she was processing around three dozen immediate retirements.  A student noted teachers were afraid to address topics from lessons or student questions because they feared getting fired.

One high school student summed up the anger expressed by the community: “You need to listen to us when we say that the rainbow in our classroom is not indoctrinating us, seeing two girls together in a Disney movie is not brainwashing us, and your policies are not protecting us from anything.”

North Korea’s first attempt to launch a satellite into orbit ended in–what did Elon Musk call it?–a “rapid unscheduled disassembly” when it hit the waters off the western shore of the nation after it lost power after the second stage separated, the Associated Press reports.

Military units from South Korea, Japan and the United States were monitoring the launch when the rocket began “an abnormal flight” shortly after launch, according to South Korean military sources.  Japanese officials said the craft did not reach an altitude considered space, about 100 kilometers.

The prospective launch of North Korea’s first spy satellite raised alarms among Western intelligence agencies, with a successful orbit meaning a previously-isolated Kim Jong-un now had access to satellite photos.  In Japan and South Korea, however, the danger was more imminent:  civil alerts advised people in Seoul to prepare for a possible evacuation.  On Okinawa, which was believed to be on the rocket’s path, Japanese officials advised residents to remain inside or better, in an underground area.

Not understanding how lucky she was she wasn’t in Florida or Texas where she’d likely would’ve seen the barrel of a gun, conservative martyr Ashlii Babbitt’s mother was arrested outside the DC Jail Tuesday after striking a counter-protestor to the January 6th cultists, the Daily Beast reports.

The incident that led to Micki Witthoeft’s arrest happened Monday and was captured on video.  Witthoeft follows the counter-protestor, who is carrying a bullhorn that’s blasting a loud siren sound, drowning out the January 6th cultists, giving Witthoeft “the finger” as she walks away.  Witthoeft finally catches the woman, appears to strike her in the head, and then grabs the bullhorn before smashing it on the ground.  Witthoeft has been charged with simple assault and destruction of property.

An Asian South Carolina convenience store owner chased a 14-year-old Black boy he falsely believed stole bottles of water from his store, running after him into a nearby apartment complex where he shot the boy in the back, killing him.  He’s being held without bail on a murder charge.

According to WLTX CBS-10 in Columbia, Rick Chow, the 58-year-old convenience store owner, wrongly thought Cyrus Carmack-Belton was stealing bottles of water.  Carmack-Belton left the store, but Chow’s son ran after him; Chow grabbed a handgun and followed.  At some point during the chase, Carmack-Belton tripped, but got up and continued running; Chow’s son shouted to his father that Carmack-Belton had a gun.  Chow then fired at least one shot, hitting Carmack-Belton in the back, with the bullet striking his heart, killing him.  Police did not report finding a gun on the victim.

NBC News reports that Monday night, a crowd that had gathered outside the store broke in, stealing some merchandise, breaking property, and vandalizing the store.  Carmack-Belton’s name was spraypainted on the front of the store, and a sign reading “No child deserves to die over water” were taped outside the store.

“This a gift to the Democrats.  This is a gift to the Biden Administration.  It’s going to put our presidential nominee into a very bad place come election season, and ah, this it it’s a huge fail on our part.  All Biden’s radical policies are still in place.  They still have the IRA funds that fund the Green New Deal.  Now we have some great [National Environmental Policy Act] in this, but if we still have those massive subsidies to the Green New Deal corporations, well, then those NEPA regulations will only be fast-tracked to, um, to further radical agenda.”

What’s “radical” about infrastructure?  Funny how the Colorado Palin isn’t all that upset about estimated $10- to $50-billion given annually to the fossil fuel industry (which made in excess of $200 billion in profit in 2022).   And if anyone understands failure, it’s the high school dropout and pending divorcee whose restaurant was shut down the same year her teenage son made her a 36-year-old grandma, like she did to her own mother 19 years before.

This is, to our knowledge, the first time he’s gone after McEnany, so we guess this post is sort of newsworthy. Then he also claimed 50 people were killed in Chicago over the weekend, without saying he would do literally anything at all about it if reelected. “A travesty, as the World is watching the United States disintegrate. God Bless them all, and God Bless our once great Country!,” Trump wrote. The Daily Wire reports 11 people were killed and another 45 were wounded by gun violence in Chicago last weekend, so of course he would rip on “Milktoast” for getting her numbers wrong.

“President Trump secured the border under his watch and has done more in one term than any other president combined. This is the continuation of his plan to fix America’s broken border and immigration system. What has DeSantis been doing? DeSantis, universally recognized as one of the least effective Members in all of Congress, had 5 years as a fourth-string backbencher to do something. Where are his policy proposals? His Tumblr-like website is bare and devoid of any details. He even admits he doesn’t even write his own tweets. How much of a phony can one be? He’s nothing more than a walking contradiction who can barely string together a coherent message,” said Trump Goebbels clone Steven Cheung on Tuesday in response to the pro-DeSantis “Never Back Down PAC” correctly pointing out how the fat bastard had proposed ending birthright citizenship at least three times while he was president and didn’t follow through.

Republican House Oversight Dipshit James Comer on Tuesday said he’s going to try to hold FBI Director Chris Wray in contempt after the bureau informed him it isn’t going to hand over that Biden Romania bribery scheme intake tip document that may or may not even exist, Fox News reports.

“Today, the FBI informed the Committee that it will not provide the unclassified documents subpoenaed by the Committee. The FBI’s decision to stiff-arm Congress and hide this information from the American people is obstructionist and unacceptable. While I have a call scheduled with FBI Director Wray tomorrow to discuss his response further, the Committee has been clear in its intent to protect Congressional oversight authorities and will now be taking steps to hold the FBI Director in contempt of Congress for refusing to comply with a lawful subpoena,” Comer said.