The Freedom Caucasians are already warning that any deal between Kevin McChickenshit and the White House is a non-starter, CNN’s Manu Raju reports, with MAGA Congressman Bob Good warning it would “collapse” the House GOP and other malevolent hick Ralph Norman calling it “unacceptable.”

Liddle Ron’s been landing some legitimate if hits on fat Don this Thursday. First it was hinting at a pardon for the Orange Chode if elected, now it’s calling him out for “Faucism.”

This new report from the Washington Post about fat former President Trump’s efforts to deliberately hide the stolen classified documents at Mar-a-Lago from Justice Department investigators before they visited to retrieve them last May is, uh, bad. Really fucking bad and really damning.

Trump ordered his minions to hide boxes of classified documents just a day before FBI agents and federal prosecutor came by to retrieve some of them sought by a subpoena and – this is insane – they even held a “dress rehearsal” for the visit to hide certain documents kept in his office.

Lots of fancy lawyer words like “intent” come to mind when reading this one. The article’s been “gifted” so there’s no excuse for non-Washington Post subscribers to go check it out.

A tearful male teenager’s December 11, 2022 call to a Garfield County, Colorado 911 center from the home of white trash QAnon idiot Congresswoman Lauren Boebert describing husband Jayson as “throwing him around the house,” was quashed by the mom on a follow-up call minutes later, who told the operator her son “doesn’t need help,” Insider reports on a fucked up and troubling situation.

It’s not clear if it was the oldest son, Tyler (Insider doesn’t name him) but the timing lines up with the kid’s troubles, coming three months after he nearly killed a friend in a car crash and 10 days after we first reported on rumors he had knocked up his girlfriend – rumors that were ultimately born out.

Nevertheless this isn’t funny, it’s just sad and it’s getting close to our line on what to leave sacred with family and kids – though not over it as it would seem like Boebert was covering up the abuse of her soon-to-be-ex-husband, most likely to protect her political career. After stepping out of the house, the junior Boebert told the operator “I’m in the driveway, but my mom’s staying down at the farmhouse because there’s problems with them. I’m going down there where he can’t get to me.”

Five minutes later, when deputies were already on their way, the kid called back, and according to Insider “a woman can be heard yelling” in the background. “All I wanted to say was is me and my dad were starting to yell, he didn’t really get physical with me,” the kid said, before Lauren yanked the phone away and said “Hi, I’m the mom. Ok. There was an argument over dinner. I understand you guys got to come and talk to them. I’m down at our second location with [our son] getting ready for an event. “Just to let you know, I have him. His dad’s at the house.” Cops interviewed the family and found no marks or bruises on the kid, who said he had started the argument.

Oath Keepers leader Stewie Rhodes was sentenced to 18 years in federal prison Thursday for seditious conspiracy in his right wing terrorist group’s role in the January 6th insurrection after fat former President Trump’s humiliating defeat in the 2020 election, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports.

Speaking to the court before he was sent away for the better part of the next two decades, Rhodes showed no remorse and just spewed out the usual MAGA bullshit like how he’s “a political prisoner” and like Trump, his only crime was “opposing those who are destroying our country,” and contrasting the Oath Keepers with Antifa, who “will throw bleach, urine and other substances you don’t want in your eyes… Antifa will stab people.” You might be forgiven for expecting more from a guy who got a JD from Yale, but then again so did Ted Cruz. “I cannot ignore the text of the Constitution. [The Democrats] have created a Constitutional crisis. Characterizing all Trump supporters as terrorists, racists and fools.. does not help” Rhodes actually said while he supposed to be asking for leniency.

Rhodes’s 18 year bid is by four years the longest single sentence handed down in connection with the Capitol riot and one that DC Circuit Judge Amit Mehta applied the maximum “terrorism” enhancement, telling the court that Rhodes and his minions plotted to destroy “an institution of American democracy at its most important moment, the transfer of power.” The long stay for Rhodes does not at all bode well for the five other Oath Keepers leaders also convicted of seditious conspiracy who will be sentenced in the coming days, or for the four captains of frenemy fascist group the Proud Boys who earlier this month were found guilty on the same charge.

The FBI on Thursday published a set of (heavily redacted) internal documents on their investigation into QAnon, suggesting that in 2018 they wanted to track down the asshole who was falsely claiming to be a federal official. The probe was closed in 2019 in what we’re going to guess without evidence may have been pressure from the Trump Regime to avoid “harassing” the fat then-president’s fans.

“QANON purports to be a highly placed federal official with a ‘Q Clearance’ and access to the President. QANON purports that there is a conspiracy amongst various law enforcement agencies to overthrow the President… There is an articulable factual basis to believe that an activity constituting a federal crime has or may have occurred, is or may be occurring, or will or may occur, and the investigation may obtain information of intelligence relating to the activity or the involvement or role of an individual, group, or organization in such activity. Therefore, it is requested that a Preliminary Investigation be approved. The investigative strategy includes issuing grand jury subpoenas, conducting interviews, review of financial records, and employing other investigative methods, as appropriate,” an agent wrote in one of the investigative memos in the document cache.

Disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers have been telling him prepare for Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith to indict his flabby orange ass for stealing classified documents from the White House and then defying a subpoena for their return, sources tell Rolling Stone.

“Looks like they’re going for it. People close to the president have discussed with him what we think is going to happen soon, and how he and everyone else needs to be ready for it… It would be crazy not to,” said one adviser, adding that “What about Joe Biden?” was the first thing Trump said after being told to face the music. Almost like he thinks his lawyers will pass that along to Jack Smith who will then say “Oh yeah… What ABOUT Joe Biden? Interesting… Okay, I won’t indict Trump. I quit.”

The longtime treasurer of CPAC organizer the American Conservative Union resigned Tuesday in a letter citing the financial and sexual fuckery of leader Matt Schlapp, New York Magazine reports.

“I cannot deliver a financial report at the upcoming board meeting with any confidence in the accuracy of the numbers,” Bob Beauprez wrote in a letter to the ACU’s board of directors, saying he was in the dark about money being paid Schlapp’s legal defense against a lawsuit credibly accusing him of sexually assaulting Republican campaign staffer Carlton Huffman in Georgia last fall.

“A cancer has been metastasizing within the organization for years. It must be diagnosed, treated, and cured, or it will destroy ACU/F. You simply cannot survive like this,” Beauprez wrote.

White nationalist alcoholic Steve Bannon will go on trial on the New York State-level charges in the “We Build The Wall” scam on May 27, 2024, Law and Crime’s Adam Klasfeld reports.

It’s not clear why the hell this would take so long given Bannon was first booked in September 2022 on the state-level charges for the scam – one in which he almost certainly would have been convicted at the federal level had fat former President Trump not pardoned Bannon at the last minute (while ignoring his three accomplices). It’s possible that scumbag Steve’s six month federal sentence for contempt of congress, which could begin this summer, is complicating the schedule.

CNN’s Dana Bash on Thursday announced she’ll be hanging out with former Vice President Mike Pence at a town hall in Iowa on June 7th, cutting off more ratings oxygen to the struggling network.

One little hitch is that unlike his fat former boss Trump and Nimrata Haley, Pence hasn’t actually launched a 2024 campaign yet. Bash’s tweet specifically says “CNN REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL TOWN HALL” so it’s very possible that she accidentally just tipped everyone off that the Evangelical fly guy is going to officially announce at some point over the next 13 days.

A new survey by Fox News finds 55 percent of respondents think the word “corrupt” accurately describes disgraced former President Trump versus 43 percent who said it does not. On “Has the mental soundness to serve effectively as president” the response flipped to 43 percent yes, 56 percent no, while on “Honest and trustworthy” Trump sank to 31 percent yes, 67 percent no.

Fox News’s propaganda division naturally spun their polling division’s findings by headlining their article about it with “Fox News Poll: More than half of voters think Trump is a strong leader, Biden isn’t,” choosing to highlight the only real general election “advantage” in perception found in the survey. Trump also leads heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis 53 to 20 percent.

A Rice County, Minnesota fire chief told KARE 11 on Wednesday that he’s open to hearing ideas on how to put out a raging landfill inferno that has been burning for three days, saying in not so many words he’s fucking had it with all the smartasses who think they know fire better than he does.

“The fact that there’s a lot of smoke and not flashing lights and firefighters and water flowing all over doesn’t mean we are not doing anything. We are definitely open to anybody that would have some experience in helping us as a county and fire departments take care of this,” said Faribault Fire Chief Dustin Dienst, obviously frustrated with residents nagging him. “There could be a point where we have to try and get this to go away, we can’t wait for days or weeks,” Dienst added.

“They need to let us know what is going on with the statuses and what the plan is, because if they have a plan, we don’t know it,” local firefighting non-expert Claudine Barbetti told KARE, adding “The burning plastic smell, you could feel it in your lungs when you breathed the air.”

Those wishing for a true sequel to 2021’s Ever Given-mania two years after the first one are going to be sorely disappointed as the Hong Kong-flagged Xin Hai Tong 23 ran aground only briefly Thursday before being freed in the economically vital Egyptian shipping channel, the AP reports.

Despite getting hit with torrential rains and winds upward of 150 miles per hour as Typhoon Mawar passed over Guam this week, the island appears to be in alright shape, Reuters reports.

“I am so glad we are safe. We have weathered this storm. The worst has gone by,” said Governor Lou Leon Guerrero, while urging the US island territory’s people to stay home until given the all clear by the government. “It seems that roads are passable, but you should not be on the road.”

According to 2020 Census data, the percentage of Americans in the elderly, over-65 “taker” class of Social Security and Medicare leeches grew by more than one-third in the previous decade as the Baby Boomer generation started jumping demographics, putting greater pressure on those who are economically productive, the Washington Post reports.  The data also show that the percentage of the population within the “working age” group between 18 to 65 dropped when compared to the percentage generally considered too young or too old to be working full-time.

The report will likely be used in the debt ceiling fight by uninformed Republicans who won’t understand that the people retiring already paid into the Social Security and Medicare systems and that the data came from the previous decade.

Speaking of hopeful understudy and Republican Florida Governor who had a Florida Man introduction to the presidential campaign Ron DeSantis, disgraced former Speaker of the House and revisionist historian Newt Gingrich said, “Well, y’know, Ronald Reagan was probably equally smart but he also understood he had to communicate so that everyday folks understood it.  One of Trump’s great advantages is that he talks at a level where third-, fourth-, fifth-grade educations can say, ‘Oh, yeah. I get that.'”

An intellectually honest right-wing would call out Gingrich for denigrating Trump supporters in a way similar to Hillary Clinton’s “basket of deplorables” line from 2016.  But when a quasi-intellectual like Gingrich makes such an observation about the GOP ruling class’s underlings, he’s a scholar, not an elitist.

Florida mother Daily Salinas, the parent who complained to an elementary school in Miami-Dade County about the original poem created for Joe Biden’s first inaugural causing the school to pull the book from the library, reportedly has links to the white nationalist Proud Boys group, the Daily Beast reports.

Amanda Gorman’s The Hill We Climb was removed from the school after Salinas wrote the book “Is not educational and have indirectly hate messages” [sic].  The first person to be named National Youth Poet Laureate, Gorman composed the poem including references to her African heritage, something Salinas apparently finds hateful.

Salinas has successfully gotten The ABCs of Black History, and Love to Langston—banned from the elementary school section of Bob Graham Education Center in Miami Lakes after a single complaint from Salinas, who has filed at least two other complaints.  Salinas typically cites “CRT” or “gender” issues when complaining, keywords that would trigger DeSaster DeSantis-level bigotry.  A review of social media accounts show Salinas has attended events sponsored by extremist groups Moms for Liberty and the Proud Boys in the Miami area.  She had previously been ejected from a county school board meeting for participating in a Moms for Liberty protest against two sex education books available in school libraries.

Conversing with Trump advisor and confirmed liar Sean Hannity, House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer stutters and stammers and slurs his way around answering a question about the number of confidential informants his committee is working with on its partisan search to undermine the Biden Administration in any way.  And at the end, Comer conveys the confidence of a man, entrusted with the proper oversight of the Executive branch and supremely assured that he has enough evidence to justify an investigation of nothing.

President Joe Biden nominated Air Force General CQ Brown to be the Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the highest military rank, marking the first time African Americans held both that position and the top civilian defense rank; Lloyd Austin is the Secretary of Defense.  Per NBC News, once confirmed, Brown would succeed General Mark Milley, who completed his four-year term.  However, whether he’s confirmed or not depends on if Republican Alabama Senator and childhood extra on the Mayberry set Tommy Tuberville waives his block on promotions for flag officers, a protest for Pentagon policy which pays for military members and their family for travel if they have to leave the state to obtain a safe abortion.

Fitch Ratings, one of the three major credit rating assessors in the financial sector along with Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s, announced it is considering downgrading the US credit rating because the toxic political climate in Washington, DC is constantly risking global financial collapse, Bloomberg reports.

“The Rating Watch Negative reflects increased political partisanship that is hindering reaching a resolution to raise or suspend the debt limit despite the fast-approaching X date,” the ratings agency said in a statement. So the GOP’s repetitious drama to attempt to gain politically has the real potentiality of hitting American families in the checkbook.