In a highly unusual move, Trump’s Save America PAC is picking up the $650,000 tab for the portraits of Donald Trump and his third wife Melania that will hang in the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery, the Washington Post reports, though the museum insists it had private donors lined up to fund the project.

It’s the first time in memory that anyone other than individual donors funded a president’s portrait at the gallery, as the museum typically approached its benefactors and friends of the subject to fund previous works; in order to preserve a sense of separation from the sitter, the museum seeks funds from people outside of the family and not connected to the Trump businesses.  Donors cannot influence the selection of the artists, and the museum negotiates the terms of the donation directly with the donor. Smithsonian officials said they had one unnamed donor who has already given $100,000, raising the available purse to three-quarters of a million.  When asked for a list of potential donors, Trump’s post-White House executive assistant gave the museum a list of people she said would be happy to fund the full amount, something the museum staff didn’t want them to do:  the museum negotiates donations.  How it got from dozens of potential donors giving the full amount to the Super PAC paying for the vast majority of it is not clear.

Museum rules prohibit the unveiling of the portraits or the artists chosen to paint them if the subject continues to run for office, so the artists will not be announced until after the 2024 election.  And should the Orange blowhard win, the portrait won’t be unveiled until he’s out of office again or dead.

Federal prosecutors said it would drop all charges against former Democratic Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum rather than retry him a week after he was acquitted on one charge of lying to the FBI and hung on three others, Politico reports.

Gillum came within a half percentage point of the vote to sparing the world of Republican Florida Governor and guy who still hasn’t gotten over losing the role of Dopey the Dwarf in third grade Ron DeSantis, his opponent in the 2018 election.  Although once found drunk in a hotel room with a trashbag full of meth and a suspect male prostitute having an overdose, officials prosecuted Gillum for a variety of corruption charges stemming from when he was mayor of Tallahassee, including taking an illegal gift of tickets to the musical Hamilton in New York City.

US Virgin Islands lawyers on Monday revealed they’ve been trying to serve alt-right shit-poster God king Elon Musk for documents in their lawsuit against JP Morgan Chase over the bank “turning a blind eye” to dead rapist Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking racket within the territory, CNBC reports.

USVI investigators told a New York federal judge they came across information indicating Epstein “may have referred or attempted to refer” Musk to Chase and then tried to serve the subpoena “but did not receive a response confirming or denying his authority.” Musk’s fanboys are going to freak.

Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis on Monday responded to an attempt from disgraced former President Trump and Cathleen Latham, one of his fake 2020 electors in the state, to “quash” the still-not-yet-public final report by the special grand jury impaneled to investigate the post-election coup attempt in the state and disqualify Willis and Judge Robert McBurney from the case because of some made up bullshit violations of their due process rights something something.

“This Court should deny the Movants’ request on these grounds for quashal of evidence obtained by the SPGJ. The Movants’ vague and sweeping assertions of due process violations lack a basis in law or in fact. They provide no authority demonstrating how such comments could be fundamentally unfair to them. This Court’s comments, made in the midst of extensive oral argument, are too isolated and too far removed from any possible impact upon the Movants’ rights. It cannot suffice to assert that the comments might have been heard by the grand jurors, who as a result might have altered their understanding of the Fifth Amendment, which might in turn have affected their evaluation of certain witnesses, and which thus might have altered or ‘tainted’ the report, which in turn might somehow negatively affect the Movants,” wrote Willis in the response.

Potentially problematic is not that Judge McBurney will buy any of Trump’s bullshit (the guy’s definitely been slow-walking Trump’s motion) but that if he rules before Willis indicts then it’s possible the fat fucking weasel could find a friendly appeals court in the state to issue an injunction.

The civil complaint filed Monday in New York by former Rudy Giuliani firm employee Noelle Dunphy is filled with some really nasty, really bad and embarrassing shit about “America’s mayor,” which we will get to filling out here as more details filter out, but probably by far the most damning to him – and Trump – and his is the accusation that Rudy asked her “if she knew anyone in need of a pardon, telling her that he was selling pardons for $2 million, which he and President Trump would split.”

“He told Ms Dunphy that she could refer individuals seeking pardons to him, so long as they did not go through ‘the normal channels’ of the Office of the Pardon Attorney, because correspondence going to that office would be subject to disclosure under the Freedom of Information Act,” the complaint continues describing the racket, which again, is fucking big if true.

Even better and even less surprising: “On February 7, 2019, Giuliani told Ms Dunphy to take a note to remind him to pay taxes on a private jet ride he was gifted by a friend. The same day, Giuliani told Ms. Dunphy, in her capacity as his employee, about a plan that had been prepared for if Trump lost the 2020 election. Specifically, Giuliani told Ms Dunphy that Trump’s team would claim that there was ‘voter fraud’ and that Trump had actually won the election. This plan was discussed at several business meetings with Giuliani and Lev Parnas.” Lordy, we hope there are tapes.

YOU LIBS ARE SO FUCKING SCREWED! READ ALL ABOUT IT RIGHT HERE IN THE DURHAM REPORT! HILLARY AND OBAMA ARE GOING DOWN HARD! PODESTA: DONE! THEY’RE ALL GOING TO GET LOCKED UP! REAL JUSTICE IS COMING FOR YOU MARXIST SCUMBAGS! MAGA!

“Great, MTG, but it’s been two years and all you have to show for it are soundbites and tersely worded letters/emails. How about you get to impeaching? The Democrats found a way to impeach Trump not once, but twice, during his one term. Y’all need to pump up your rookie numbers or stfu. We’re all a little tired of the bs and nonaction. And the fish stinks from the head, your new BFF, McCarthy, hasn’t done a damn thing except tell people what they want to hear. Actions speak louder than words and we’re all watching” – the current top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “UPDATE: Marjorie Taylor Greene Clarifies Whistleblower that Leads Directly to Joe Biden Crime is Not Lost – But Other Whistleblowers Missing,” posted Monday afternoon.

“This morning, an individual entered my District Office armed with a baseball bat and asked for me before committing an act of violence against two members of my staff. The individual is in police custody and both members of my team were transferred to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Right now, our focus is on ensuring they are receiving the care they need.”

“We are incredibly thankful to the City of Fairfax Police Department and emergency medical professionals for their quick response. I have the best team in Congress. My District Office staff make themselves available to constituents and members of the public every day. The thought that someone would take advantage of my staff’s accessibility to commit an act of violence is unconscionable and devastating,” says Dem Congressman Gerry Connolly in a statement.

Targeted attack on a Democrat makes this pretty likely a MAGA terrorist incident. But, you know, we always have to consider the possibility it’s a false flag “psyop” because Trump fans are peaceful, patriotic Americans who never commit unjustifiable acts of violence against others.

Spandex-wearing grapple freak Congressman Jim Jordan tells shitty malware site the Daily Mail he’s got three FBI “whistleblowers” who he’s pretty sure won’t go missing in the next 72 hours and will actually show up to a hearing of his lame “Weaponization” select subcommittee on Thursday.

Fired former FBI agents Garret O’Boyle and Steve Friend, former FBI State Operations Specialist Marcus Allen, and some douchebag activist from “Empower Oversight” named Tristian Leavitt.

O’Boyle’s Substack blog, “Last Line Substack – Musings of a Congressional whistleblower” is locked and you need to be approved by him to read it. Friend claims he was temporarily reassigned to track down January 6th suspects instead of working on a joint task force to track down child pornography suspects. His upcoming memoir, “True Blue: My Journey from Beat Cop to Suspended FBI Whistleblower” hits bookstores next month, so we’re sure the timing is just a coincidence.

Allen was suspended last year and notified in a letter from the FBI saying “The Security Division has learned you have espoused conspiratorial views both orally and in writing and promoted unreliable information which indicates support for the events of January 6th. These allegations raise sufficient concerns about your allegiance to the United States and your judgment to warrant a suspension of your clearance pending further investigation,” and is currently suing with the help of fascist MAGA legal organization Judicial Watch, helmed by demented meathead non-lawyer Tom Fitton.

Leavitt is a former staffer for Senator Charles Grassley who is suing the FEC for withholding documents about some conspiracy against the crypto industry, lol. So this ought to be a fun hearing and we look forward to Stacey Plaskett, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and Dan Goldman’s lively exchanges with this ragtag group of anti-Deep State heroes – if they aren’t “disappeared” first.

Northern Florida MAGA hick federal Judge T Kent Wetherell done red-hot steamin mad at them fascist, socialist, white-people replacin, Soros Jew-funded leftist globalist Nazi motherfuckin Biden Adminsitration sons of bitches fer disobeyin his fuckin order tellin them to stop lettin them goddamned diverse Mexican migrants out of federal custody and he ’bout to hold em in contempt if they don’ start respectin his authority right goddamn fuckin now, Politico reports.

“The Court takes [So help you God, boy] allegations of [defiance, disrespectin’, disturbaltory] noncompliance with its orders very [fuckin deadly, like the Devil himself] seriously, irrespective of the source of the allegations,” wrote Wetherell, who probably spilled his spitoon in anger when he found out that as many as 2,500 asylum applicants had been released from CBP custody.

Day two of the thrilling search for the unidentified FBI agent or whistleblower or informant or someone who might have told the Bureau that Joe Biden took bribes from a Romanian official like five or ten years ago, we’re actually not sure but James Comer said last Wednesday was “judgment day for the Biden administration” and he had “verified and indisputable” reports of corruption by Hunter and eight other members of the Biden family so it would seem like it was a big deal.

Still, you can feel the energy here, like it’s one of the Mission: Impossible or even Fast and Furious movies as the heroes race around the globe to take down a massive political corruption syndicate so vast and powerful that it threatens the very foundation of democracy. Pure adrenaline rush.

Colorado Trump fan Barry Morphew, famous for filling out missing wife Suzanne’s 2020 election mail-in ballot months after she disappeared while on a bike ride on Mother’s Day before he was arrested on suspicion of her murder, told ABC’s Good Morning America on Monday that he’s suing local cops and the district attorney to recover his “reputation and integrity” …and $15 million after the charges were dropped last year over likely prosecutorial misconduct.

“They’ve got tunnel vision and they looked at one person and they’ve got too much pride to say they’re wrong and look somewhere else,” Morphew told ABC in the interview, accompanied by his two daughters. “I don’t have anything to worry about. I’ve done nothing wrong,” he added, leaving out the fraudulent Trump vote – which he explained to FBI agents by saying his likely dead wife was going “to vote for Trump anyway… I just thought, give him another vote. I figured all these other guys are cheating.” Morphew pleaded guilty to forgery in July 2022 for that crime.

That scummy MAGA behavior – and Morphew’s overall fucking domineering Evangelical husband weirdness as described by his liberal first cousin Jason Morphew in a February 2022 piece at the Daily Beast – would make it sound open-and-shut, if not for the fact that DNA belonging to an unknown suspect wanted in sexual assaults in other states was found in Suzanne’s SUV after her disappearance. Prosecutors were caught withholding that unambiguously non-damning piece of evidence, leading to the dropped murder charges. That’s extremely hard to get around, and as much as you might want to think the son of a bitch was guilty, it seem more likely than not that he didn’t do it and deserves to have his name cleared in a court of law.

Justice Department: “A Massachusetts man was arrested on May 9 for allegedly acting as an agent of the People’s Republic of China without providing notification to the US Attorney General. Litang Liang, 63, of Brighton, was indicted on one count of acting as an agent of a foreign government without providing notification to the US Attorney General and one count of conspiracy to act as an agent of a foreign government without providing notification to the US Attorney General.”

“According to the charging documents, from in or around 2018 through at least 2022, Liang acted within the United States as an agent of the PRC government by allegedly providing PRC government officials with information on Boston-area individuals and organizations; organizing a counter-protest against pro-democracy dissidents; providing photographs of and information about dissidents to PRC government officials; and providing the names of potential recruits to the PRC’s Ministry of Public Security. Specifically, beginning in or around 2018, Liang allegedly provided information about Chinese individuals and organizations in the Boston area to PRC government officials – including PRC officials formerly in the United States, the Ministry of Public Security, and the United Front Work Department, an entity which reports directly to the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and works to further the CCP’s goals. It is alleged that Liang provided PRC government officials with information regarding members and leaders of Boston-area, Chinese family associations and community organizations with pro-Taiwan leanings. Additionally, it is alleged that Liang sent information regarding anti-PRC dissidents to PRC officials including: identification of an individual he accused of having ‘sabotaged’ PRC flags in Boston’s Chinatown in October 2018; video of a dissident attending the ‘Boston Stands with Hong Kong’ march in August 2019; and photographs of anti-PRC dissidents in front of the Boston Public Library in September 2019.”

Rumors that I had a heart attack are completely false. I am alive and healthy.

— George Soros (@georgesoros) May 15, 2023

Turkey’s election board on Monday officially declared the ultra-tight presidential race to be in runoff territory as main opposition candidate Kemal Kilicdaroglu and third place dickhead Sinan Ogan brought autocratic incumbent Recep Erdogan to 49.5 percent, just below the threshold required for an outright win, setting a final Erdogan-Kilicdaroglu showdown for May 28, Bloomberg reports.

The runoff, the first in the 104-year history of the modern Turkish state, unfortunately likely favors Erdogan as nationalist Ogan voters are likely to shift their support to Erdawg. Then there’s the 20 year strongman’s Justice and Development Party’s solid showing in parliamentary races, meaning it’ll take a lot of luck and then some for Kilicdaroglu to unstop the steal.

What a great day for American political media, as overvalued and overhyped but still top-notch investigative reporting outfit Vice News files for bankruptcy while former The Hill publisher Jimmy Finkelstein’s innovative new venture The Messenger makes its auspicious debut with a lot of the old the pre-Nexstar-sale Hill stanbys you love such as Juan Williams and Kevin Brock columns, HarrisX polls, and hard-hitting “exclusives” with headlines like “Britney Spears Is ‘Talking to’ Estranged Family Members, But ‘There Are Still Trust Issues.'” There’s even an interview with fat former President Trump where they ask all the tough, incisive questions like “Have you paid any attention to ChatGPT or artificial intelligence?” and “Do you think it should be regulated better?”

Even better: There’s no Disqus comments! That’s right! You can’t even make your own entertainment by pestering the mods and the MAGA trolls who no doubt would’ve been welcomed at The Messenger. It’s like we have two Hills now but nowhere to get banned from. Aren’t we so lucky?

Kenyan President William Ruto apologized to the country on Sunday for that mass cult suicide in which as many as 800 people were starved to death so they could meet Jesus, the BBC reports.

“I am taking responsibility that, as the president, these (Shakahola murders) should not have happened. For that, I truly say, I’m sorry,” said Ruto while adding that his sudden weight loss was just a result of keeping fit after a lot of stress eating during his 2022 campaign.

The opposition Move Forward and Pheu Thai parties, campaigning on reforms of Thailand’s military and monarchy, kicked ass in national election on Sunday, possibly spelling the end of the reign of conservative coup-installed Prime Minister Prayuth Chan-ocha, the Associated Press reports.