“Okay.  Okay, then, it’s we, Joe Sixpack, the audience that is desiring facts, information so we can make up our own minds on all the issues that are circulating around our globe today.  It’s up to us as we, ah, in the marketplace to open up and to allow and to demand forums, formats for a voice like Tucker’s and others’ who have been so bold.  Ah, we should sit back and wait for somebody else to do it.  We need to be the ones to provide the forum, to provide the ear and to sincerely desire and listen to what it is they have to say.  It’s very valuable information that Tucker and others have been able to provide us in terms of exposure of who these people are, what they’re doing, what they’re doing to our children.  It’s just like all the trans stuff.  It’s just like that Bud Light stuff that’s goin’ on.  It’s against the children and voices like Tucker, like yours, they need to be heard.”

Officials have called off the search for two missing teen girls and the 39-year-old man they were reportedly traveling with after discovering seven bodies at a location in Henryetta, Oklahoma, according to ABC News.  While they cannot yet confirm the identifications, police called off the missing persons alerts for 14-year-old Ivy Webster and 16-year-old Brittany Brewer, indicating they are likely victims.

The pair were last seen with James MacFadden, a registered sex offender who had been convicted of rape.  According to KOCO ABC-6 in Oklahoma City, MacFadden was due in court Monday morning to face charges relating to child pornography.  MacFadden, the girls, and two relatives of MacFadden’s reportedly were going to McAlester, Oklahoma to work on a ranch, although no one from the family arrived at the ranch, about 35 miles away from where the bodies were found.

Professional football star Jalen Hurts, the quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles, reportedly dropped his agency after the owner of the agency, rapper Lil Wayne, posted a photo of himself with Donald Trump, columnist Skip Bayliss reported (via OutKick).  Hurts signed a contract last week that made him momentarily the highest-paid player in the league.

Wayne posted a photo with Donald Trump in October 2020, just prior to the election which Trump would lose; He would later say the meeting had to do with a program called the “Platinum Plan” that would invest a half trillion dollars in Black communities.  Wayne would go on to endorse Trump in the days before the election; Trump later pardoned Wayne on federal weapons charges from a December 2020 incident in which Wayne, a felon, illegally possessed a handgun and transported it on a private jet from California to Florida.

A long-time friend of Wayne’s, Bayliss asserts the photo and endorsement had something to do with Hurts and his personal agent, Nicole Lynn, leaving Wayne’s agency, Young Money APAA Sports Agency, in 2021 and starting their own business partnership.  Lynn negotiated Hurts’ recent 5-year, $255 million contract.

With Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen stating that the United States could reach the debt ceiling by early June, much earlier than expected, President Joe Biden has invited the top four Congressional leaders to a White House meeting next week to find a way to avoid a financial crisis, NBC News reports.

The sticking point in the negotiation will be House Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy’s deal with the Devil, personified by the likes of Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert and a handful of other nihilists who want the nation to default on its debt to spark a collapse of the social safety net programs wealthy conservatives hate, but poor conservatives depend on.

Biden will host McCarthy, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries to a meeting next Tuesday.  Democrats have stated they want a “clean” bill dealing with the debt ceiling, something McConnell would likely support.  McCarthy, however, has to deal with the threat of a floor vote to remove him from the speakership if he doesn’t kowtow to extremists in his Party.

Democratic Texas Congressman Colin Allred, a former NFL player turned voting rights attorney turned politician, will announce his campaign to toss perhaps the most reviled member of the Senate, Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) from his seat in the 2024 election, Politico reports.

Representing the Texas 32nd, a solid “blue” district north of Dallas, Allred has been in office since 2019.  He played four seasons for the Tennessee Titans after attending Baylor.  Cruz is best known for boasting about shutting down the government during the 2013 debt ceiling fight as well as fleeing to a Ritz Carlton resort in Cancun, Mexico during a winter storm that left millions of Texans without power.  A persistent embarrassment for Texans, Cruz is a rare point of bipartisan agreement in the Senate:  South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham once said of him, “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.”

In previously unreported late March incident occurring on board his stupid “Trump Force One” plane, the Orange Allah grew so angry with NBC News political reporter Vaughn Hillyard’s questions about his then-pending indictment in New York that he grabbed both of Hillyard’s phones and tossed them aside, according to audio of the meltdown obtained and reviewed by Vanity Fair.

Hillyard didn’t comment to Vanity Fair about the tiff, triggered by his suggesting that Donald was “frustrated” by the criminal investigation. “Don’t ask me any more questions,” Trump told the reporter. About 10 minutes later Hillyard tried to ask another question to which Donald responded. “I don’t want to talk to you. Do you hear me? You’re not a nice guy.” Hillyard tried once again, prompting the twice-impeached loser’s physical outburst. “Alright. Let’s go. Get him out of here,” Trump told his minions before grabbing the phones off of a table and tossing them on a nearby seat.

It’s just another piece of evidence that the fat, thin-skinned baby doesn’t do well when faced with scrutiny coming from outside of the right wing bubble and why we’re skeptical that he’s going to have a good time at the upcoming CNN town hall event some are freaking out over.

Important Treasure lady Janet Yellen say America have no more money at end of month, New York Times reports. Big uh-oh. America need more money but very mad hick people in Congress say no more money because we spending too much on stuff for poor people and energy that good for Earth. Very mad hick people don’t like spending if good for Earth or nice to poor people. Big uh-oh.

Not good if America run out of money. America have lots of money but debts too. Debt means owe people money. Debt not good. But debt important for keep banks happy and shouty people who inhale magic white fun powder up noses in bathroom before they shout loud in big room with lots of numbers on walls happy. If they happy then economy happy. Must fix soon or big uh-oh. The end.

Holy shit! The military is tracking another ChiCom spy balloon that flew over Hawaii late last week and is now headed east toward Mexico, NBC News reports. What if this one came from Wuhan and has bioweapons on board? What if it’s carrying a secret message and/or bags of cash for Hunter Biden? Why can’t the Air Force just scoop it out of the sky already? Don’t they want to protect Mexico from the ChiCom balloons? How much more balloon-o-mania coverage can America handle?

CNN announced Monday that their number one non-fan, disgraced former President Trump, has for some reason agreed to appear in a town hall event they’re running in New Hampshire next week.

The Kraken scored a huge win in Dominion Voting Systems’ home city of Denver on Sunday, besting the defending Stanley Cup Champs the Avalanche 2-1 in a Game 7 first round closer, the AP reports.

Well we probably stretched this joke conflating the NHL’s Seattle Kraken with batshit crazy MAGA lawyer Sidney “Kraken” Powell as far as it reasonably could go. Dominion Voting Systems really is based in Denver, but the company’s “hometown” is really Toronto, home of the Maple Leafs. We guess the name “Dominion” comes from Canada’s sobriquet as a “Dominion” of the British crown.

Anyway, Sidney Powell is still the defendant in a $1.3 billion defamation suit by the company and she’s all but certain to be ruined for the rest of her life when she loses to them and Smartmatic. The Seattle Kraken will face the Dallas Stars in the second round of the NHL’s Western Conference playoffs, their next stop already remarkable run for an expansion team only in its second year.

An Arkansas judge on Monday ordered irresponsible crackhead Hunter Biden to answer a series of written questions about the sales of his art, his investments, and other financial transactions ahead of an in-person deposition next month in the paternity lawsuit filed by Lunden Roberts, a stripper who gave birth to Hunter’s youngest daughter four years ago, CNN reports.

Hunter has been paying Roberts $20,000 a month in child support, totaling $750,000 so far since the little girl was born. Now, we don’t know what’s going to be revealed here after the deposition, but we get the feeling that it’s going to be far short of the “SMOKING GUN” evidence of corruption that Jim Jordan and James Comer are going to act like it is. Just a hunch on this one.

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1653192632636506114

The five members of heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s Central Florida Tourism Oversight Board on Monday voted to sue the Disney corporation in a state court less than a week after the company sued Tiny D in the ongoing war over free speech, NBC News reports.

During the vote, member Ron Peri, a far right pastor, complained about how he’s been portrayed in the media, specifically a March article on CNN which cited a since-deleted January 2022 YouTube video in which Peri heavily implied that drinking water is turning men gay. “So why are there homosexuals today? There are any number of reasons, you know, that are given. Some would say the increase in estrogen in our societies. You know, there’s estrogen in the water from birth control pills. They can’t get it out. The level of testosterone in men broadly in America has declined by 50 points in the past 10 years. You know, and so, maybe that’s a part of it.”

Yeah, that’s what Peri was complaining about in the meeting. That CNN reported on him telling his congregation that drinking water is lowering testosterone and making men gay.

Dem Maryland Senator Ben Cardin on Monday told the Baltimore Sun he won’t be running for reelection in 2024, setting off what will likely be a contentious Dem primary in the blue state.

I'm suing.

The recent actions violate my 1st amendment rights, as well as the rights of my 11,000 constituents to representation.

Montana's State House is the people’s House, not Speaker Regier’s, and I’m determined to defend the right of the people to have their voices heard. pic.twitter.com/eyDjgchWPQ

— Rep. Zooey Zephyr (@ZoAndBehold) May 1, 2023

“On 28 April 2023, Cathleen Latham, one of the ‘alternate’ electors advanced by Georgia’s Republican Party in the aftermath of the 2020 general election in Georgia, filed a motion joining former President Trump’s motion seeking to quash the final report of the Special Purpose Grand Jury in this matter. Both motions also seek the disqualification of the Fulton County District Attorney’s Office from any further investigation into or prosecution of any alleged interference with the 2020 general election. So that all arguments can be considered together, the District Attorney’s Office deadline for filing a combined response is extended to 15 May 2023,” writes Fulton County, Georgia Superior Court Judge Robert McBurney in an order extending the original May 1st deadline set for Fulton DA Fani Willis to respond to the fat orange fuck’s attempt to destroy the case against him.

Trump filed the motion back in March seeking to disqualify Willis, McBurney, and to toss the entire special grand jury report based on a lot of bitching about the whole process and the wacky forewoman Emily Kohrs’s media tour. The problem it presents is not that McBurney will actually rule in favor and step aside, but that it creates an opening for appeals to slow down the indictment – which Willis says is likely coming this summer – and take the case probably all the way to the state Supreme Court. It’s not clear how likely this is, but any chance to delay need be taken seriously with the fat weasel given his history of manipulating the justice system to serve his ends.

In a Monday Fox News op-ed mostly about her theoretically reasonable but terribly marketed proposal to impose mental competency tests on candidates and elected officials over the age of 75, former South Carolina Governor and low single-digit polling Republican 2024 presidential candidate Nimrata “Nikki” Haley on Monday called for Dem Senator Dianne Feinstein to resign, writing the 89 year-old is “a trailblazer who’s made an indelible mark in public service. But it’s been obvious for quite some time that she’s in significant mental and physical decline. She’s missed months of votes and clearly can no longer do her job. I agree with several congressional Democrats who say Feinstein should resign immediately and let someone else who is able to do the job take over. At 89 years old, she is a prime example of why we need mental competency tests for politicians.”

It’s a position we agree with, but one Moscow Mitch and his buddies certainly do not, as Feinstein’s prolonged absence from her post on the Senate Judiciary Committee due to illness has held up the confirmations of Biden-nominated judges (though a few bipartisan-approved ones went through recently). It’s unlikely this is going to attract enough notice for Senate Republicans to have to go on record and say “No, Nimrata is wrong. Senator Feinstein should not be pushed to retire early” and blah blah blah like they wouldn’t be screaming for her to get the fuck out yesterday if California had a Republican governor who would appoint a GOP replacement.

Pour out a bottle of piss for MAGA “news” site WeLoveTrump.com as it appears that the propaganda outlet posted its valedictory article, “EXPOSED: Dr. Peter McCullough On How Nattokinase Could Counteract Spike Protein Damage!” on March 31st – whatever the fuck “Nattokinase” means.

Definitely in the lower tier of the MAGAverse, WeLoveTrump first came on our radar when, in our cut-and-paste content days, we picked up their December 29, 2020 article about a hotel frequented by the Proud Boys closing temporarily ahead of the electoral college vote just a week later (which did not deter the ‘Boys from participating the the subsequent riot). But they were forgotten about until the next summer when hilariously they thought we were serious and copied verbatim from our originally and very sarcastically composed August 13, 2021 article playing on that old “hidden ankle monitor” QAnon trope when First Lady Jill Biden was spotted wearing a medical boot.

Despite the weak production value and obvious polar opposite political bent, it’s hard not to feel at least a modicum of sympathy to the publishers of WeLoveTrump. This is a tough line of work and it has to be devastating to have to give up on doing something you love, even if it’s quite literally by name and URL expressing a love for the fat former President. That being said, it’s so much fucking easier to be a right wing site unmoored to any semblance of journalistic integrity and factual reporting these days. If you can’t hack it with that audience maybe you do simply fucking suck.

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott plans to not shake up the GOP 2024 presidential field with an announcement of an ineffectual and ultimately failed campaign on May 22nd, the AP reports.

If the idea is actually to become disgraced former President Trump’s running mate then we guess it would be smart to launch a pointless bid, however it would seem likely that Donald would probably try to pick a woman to act like he’s negating Vice President Kamala Harris on the Dem ticket.

“We respectfully submit this letter, on behalf of Defendant Donald J. Trump, to request that the Court grant a mistrial based upon pervasive unfair and prejudicial rulings by the Court; or in the alternative, (1) correct the record for each and every instance in which the Court has mischaracterized the facts of this case to the Jury and (2) allow[ed] Defendant’s counsel to have greater latitude to cross-examine Plaintiff and her witnesses.”

“A mistrial should be granted because the Court has: (1) mischaracterized the evidence in favor of Plaintiff; (2) bolstered the testimony of Plaintiff; (3) allowed Plaintiff to testify that Defendant has two tables of lawyers at trial while prohibiting Defendant from fairly clarifying the record by showing that Plaintiff has a comparable amount of lawyers; (4) continuously sustained improper ‘argumentative’ objections of Plaintiff’s counsel as to questions using a well-established and accepted looping method of cross-examination; (5) permitted the testimony of the Natasha Stoynoff, without any voir dire of the witness, when it is clear that her testimony does not fit within the requirements of Fed. R. Evid. 413(d)(2&5) and should be excluded under Fed. R. Evid. 403; (6) alluded to the potential use of relevant United States statutes as a form of remedy beyond that which might be available from the Court based on Defendant’s son, Eric Trump, making completely truthful and non-prejudicial statements about Reid Hoffman’s financing of Plaintiff’s litigation; and (7) expressed distress with Defendant’s counsel for bringing to its attention that someone from plaintiff’s side violated the court’s protective order, which led to the world-wide publication of plaintiff’s mock jury results,” writes Trump lawyer Joe Tacopina in a letter to Judge Lewis Kaplan.