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Pokemon card shoplifter defeated in battle against cop

Gotta catch em all, right? A 35 year-old Westerville, Ohio man who walked out of a Meijer store with $679.59 worth of Pokemon cards didn’t have enough HP or high enough defense stats to overcome the ferocious moves by a local cop who beat him senseless for attempting to resist arrest during a confrontation in the parking lot, WCMH reports. The cop chose excessive force, Pikachu!

Per a police report, Fields was yanked out of a vehicle by a responding officer who had pursued him out of the store. One of the cops ordered Fields “several times… to place his hands behind his back, turn onto his stomach, and to stop resisting,” but Fields “continued actively resisting our attempts to secure his hands by pulling his arms under his body and trying to roll over.”

The cops then tased the fucker and hauled him to the station, charging him with felony assault. The article’s pretty long and goes into police brutality and all that stuff that kind of takes away from all our stale Pokemon jokes that we keep using every time there’s some stupid crime involving them.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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