“We’re talking about bears that are on crack, and they’re standing in your living room, growling,” said Republican state representative Jason Shoaf, according to the Palm Beach Post. “When you run into one of these crack bears, you ought to be able to shoot it.”
A law allowing one to shoot a bear–presumably the ursine type found in the forest, not the hairy gay type found in Wilton Manors, although in Florida it may be a future loophole found by a defense lawyer if not well-defined–standing in your home uninvited while obsessively scratching its shoulders and telling you it can fix the tranmission would come after one allowing you to shoot any human who accidentally drives onto your property, whether they’re in your living room, on crack, or a delivery driver at the wrong address.
Florida’s Crack Bears, the far less successful CW spinoff of the smash movie Cocaine Bear, is at no risk of becoming a regular series: there has never been a recorded fatal attack of a human in Florida by a black bear, the only bear species native to the state… coincidentally. (We’ll have to get back to you on the record of the Wilton Manors variety.)