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New York bill legalizing adultery awaits Hochul’s signature

With the stroke of a pen New York Governor Kathy Hochul could this week liberate millions of married Empire Staters from fear of prosecution for fucking around on the side, the AP reports.

The landmark bill, which doesn’t have a catchy acronym-based name, was passed unanimously in the state Senate after its Assembly approval, no doubt with the lawmakers’ spouses suddenly checking their phones while they’re in the shower to see why they would want to vote for such a thing, would repeal a 1907 law criminalizing violations of the sacred bond of marriage. It wasn’t used very often and the AP notes that the most recent charge was in 2010 “against a woman who was caught engaging in a sex act in a public park, but it was later dropped as part of a plea bargain.”

Cherish this newf- Oh god fucking dammit, even when this is a non-Trump article you’re all just going to write comments about Trump, aren’t you? How about Bill Clinton?!? He lives in New York and he’s a notorious adulterer too! Can’t you guys joke about him for once?!? Somebody come up with lyrics to “Dribbled on a Blue Dress” or something like that. Looking at you, GenXers.

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