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MAGA dumbasses spared death penalty in Congo coup attempt

MAGA-adjacent failed coup plotters Marcel Malanga, Benjamin Zalman-Polun, and Tyler Thompson are no longer going to die in the Democratic Republic of the Congo this year but instead in a prison there decades from now as the BBC reports three jackasses's death sentences for participating in a failed attempt to over throw the government led by Malanga's father Christian – a Congolese-American car dealer a big Trump fan – last year. Christian Malanga himself was gunned down by government troops after they attacked the wrong building – the Palace of the People – thinking President Felix Tshisekedi was inside, even though the palace is a seldom-used ceremonial building.

Malanga Jr grew up in Utah and Thompson is a high school buddy whose family claims he had no idea he was joining a coup plotted by Malanga Sr, who had this insane vision of seizing control of the nation and setting up a state called "New Zaire." Both of them are in their early 20s. Zalman-Polun, 36 or 37, was a Maryland-based cannabis entrepreneur and who knows how the hell he got mixed up with Malanga for the 4:30 AM raid on Kinshasa that was like the Bay of Pigs but dumber and didn't even have the fake CIA backing that would rug pull on them at the last minute.

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