“Pizza Hut has just launched pasta. Yes, the same Pizza Hut that Italy frowns upon has now taken on another Italian classic. The kind that’s creamy, cheesy, loaded with sauce, and blatantly breaks every Italian rule in the book. So, before unveiling their new pasta, they dared to challenge an entire nation, defy centuries of tradition, and actually get approval for it. By Italians,” says a Pizza Hut press release that starts normal enough then quickly takes a sharp turn into very dicey territory.

“Kind of. But the brand knew what they were getting into. Traditional Italians would never agree to this culinary crime. Not the Giuseppes, not the Francescas, and definitely not their Nonnas. So, Pizza Hut did what they do best, they got creative. They turned to other Italians. Those who’ve been born and raised in countries like Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Japan and so on – who hold the Italian passport, but welcome contemporary twists on Italian food. It was the perfect setup for a social experiment disguised as a taste test, designed to test the limits of tradition,” the release continues.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck… Had to emphasize the “traditional” part above again because fuck. This entire marketing campaign sounds almost like it was designed in a lab to appeal to the Stephino Milleronis out there, but also kind of piss them off by referring to those “who hold the Italian passport” as Italians as well. This is freaking playing with fire and they better hope OANN doesn’t find out.